Why is Aries man holding on to Cancer woman????
This topic was created in the Aries forum by cancer12 on Tuesday, October 6, 2009 and has 18 replies.
started dating in Aug 2006,long distance(he's in the bahamas) but I visited alot, even moved for 4 months ther. he couldnt travel to visit becus he had applied for his citizenship and his travel docs were with the gov.I broke up with aries man in Jan 2008,told him I needed space,was fed up yet he persisted,continued to call. didn't answer my cell, yet he continued to call my house. told my family to tell him I had moved out, he still called and talk to my mom telling her how much he loved me and wanted to be with me. He wanted things to work out. Don't get me wrong I've always loved aries man but I feel like we kept hitting a wall,draining. 6 months aftr I finally spoke with him and we got back together after much talk about change.
We tried again but I got fed up because we would still fight alot and broke up with him in Feb 2009 and decidied I wanted to be done with him forever so I ignored his calls. it was tuff but i was determined. He's a persistant one, I even changed my cell number but he never stopped calling the house . I even dated someone new for 2 months but it didn't work out. Finally last month sept, he emailed, he'd be in toronto canada (my home).got excited, wanted to see him, missed him, I wanted to know if he had changed. turned out he cancelled his ticket aftr emailing me becse he was thinking I'd turn his visit down or I'd have a bf (he's got pride- sometimes). I replied the next day and got the disppointing news that he wouldn't be coming becus his mom was sick and had to fly to Florida (which was true but not the real reason he cancelled). anyway we talked on the phone for a few days. He acted like nothing had changed, I remined him that we were not an item.
He visited his mom 2 wks later and took his vacation while I went on a cruise. Now that we're both back in our homes a week ago, we've been talking on the phone every single day. Old emotions came back, even told him I had been with someone. He said it hurt alot to know that. He says he still wants to spend his life with me. I told him I'm scared of history repeating that we shud be friends and see where it leads us.
I'm not sure if he's obsessive and that's y he holds on or if he truely loves me and wants to spend his life with me. I love him alot but I want to make the sensible decision. We both have messed up already and brought up the past, we ended up fighting a few nights ago. But we keep reminding each other to move forward.
Will the wise pls advise???
We tried again but I got fed up because we would still fight alot and broke up with him in Feb 2009 and decidied I wanted to be done with him forever so I ignored his calls. it was tuff but i was determined. He's a persistant one, I even changed my cell number but he never stopped calling the house . I even dated someone new for 2 months but it didn't work out. Finally last month sept, he emailed, he'd be in toronto canada (my home).got excited, wanted to see him, missed him, I wanted to know if he had changed. turned out he cancelled his ticket aftr emailing me becse he was thinking I'd turn his visit down or I'd have a bf (he's got pride- sometimes). I replied the next day and got the disppointing news that he wouldn't be coming becus his mom was sick and had to fly to Florida (which was true but not the real reason he cancelled). anyway we talked on the phone for a few days. He acted like nothing had changed, I remined him that we were not an item.
He visited his mom 2 wks later and took his vacation while I went on a cruise. Now that we're both back in our homes a week ago, we've been talking on the phone every single day. Old emotions came back, even told him I had been with someone. He said it hurt alot to know that. He says he still wants to spend his life with me. I told him I'm scared of history repeating that we shud be friends and see where it leads us.
I'm not sure if he's obsessive and that's y he holds on or if he truely loves me and wants to spend his life with me. I love him alot but I want to make the sensible decision. We both have messed up already and brought up the past, we ended up fighting a few nights ago. But we keep reminding each other to move forward.
Will the wise pls advise???
We don't hold on for any other reason then we love you and want to be with you! We don't mess around if we just sort of like you. Time is always short with Aries...we don't fuck around!
thanks for reading guy but tell me what u think about this:
ok I told him let's be friends, don't forget he's in the bahamas and i'm in toronto, canada and he calls every single night. we stay on the phone for hours like 3-4 hours sometimes...
so last night I decided i would take some time for myself and not talk to him. talk all the time like that every single night scared me plus it was distracting me for doing anything.
so when he called last night i didn't answer because i felt he would take it the wrong way if i said i needed mytime.
anyway i had 11 missed calls from him last night!!!! isn't that osessive?
how bout him continuing to call for so many months even after telling him it was over and i wanted to be alone. is that love or is he just obsessed???
i mean i cud only see someone calling that many times in extreme situations.
please help
ok I told him let's be friends, don't forget he's in the bahamas and i'm in toronto, canada and he calls every single night. we stay on the phone for hours like 3-4 hours sometimes...
so last night I decided i would take some time for myself and not talk to him. talk all the time like that every single night scared me plus it was distracting me for doing anything.
so when he called last night i didn't answer because i felt he would take it the wrong way if i said i needed mytime.
anyway i had 11 missed calls from him last night!!!! isn't that osessive?
how bout him continuing to call for so many months even after telling him it was over and i wanted to be alone. is that love or is he just obsessed???
i mean i cud only see someone calling that many times in extreme situations.
please help
Dragon is right...once we are done, we are done and there's no getting us back. 11 missed calls is a bit obsessive, yes. I think you need to be straight with him on how that makes you feel. We thrive on honesty.
How did he react when you told him that you just wanted to be friends?
How did he react when you told him that you just wanted to be friends?
i don't care if he does love u... that's just creepy! maybe cuz ur a cancer u find this behavior somewhat flattering but it would give me the heeby-jeebies! i get pissed when ppl call me multiple times in one day unless it's for good reason (i.e. discussing plans and the like). hell, i even tell my places of work not to call me more than once and leave a msg. if they do then they are no longer allowed to call me. i got seriously fed up with one of my old jobs which is why i set this rule in motion. the ppl there would call me several times in a row until i, or my disgruntled ex, would pick up.
anyway, if u wanna take everyone else's advice about taking him up on his offer then that's ur bag. what u wrote gives me an icky feeling and i am concerned. however, do what makes u happy!
anyway, if u wanna take everyone else's advice about taking him up on his offer then that's ur bag. what u wrote gives me an icky feeling and i am concerned. however, do what makes u happy!
ramfish and dragon - thanks for your input, it's really appreciated
it's very important for one to get different views, it helps to put things in another perspective.
ninjamu, when i first cared about him and we fought, i didn't mind the calls but now that I really am no longer 'blinded' by feelings, it worries me how he calls over and over even though i told him lets be friends.
So that night when he called 11 times was last tuesday and i didn't speak with him until this saturday morning when i decided to give him a quick call. i i i left a message telling him he could call me whenever he had a chance. he called and i was busy shopping.
that night i had 7 missed calls. i guess i just want to know that i'm not crazy because i think this is a bit obbsessive tho i must say that he doesn't call every day.
i wish i could help him deal with this but aries would never admit to being obsessive. btw he's the best sex i've EVER had and i can truely say that he's the only man out of many that really made me think he loved me.
thanks for ur posts.
ramfish and dragon: do u find it hard to completely cut off communication with exes or past lovers?????
it's very important for one to get different views, it helps to put things in another perspective.
ninjamu, when i first cared about him and we fought, i didn't mind the calls but now that I really am no longer 'blinded' by feelings, it worries me how he calls over and over even though i told him lets be friends.
So that night when he called 11 times was last tuesday and i didn't speak with him until this saturday morning when i decided to give him a quick call. i i i left a message telling him he could call me whenever he had a chance. he called and i was busy shopping.
that night i had 7 missed calls. i guess i just want to know that i'm not crazy because i think this is a bit obbsessive tho i must say that he doesn't call every day.
i wish i could help him deal with this but aries would never admit to being obsessive. btw he's the best sex i've EVER had and i can truely say that he's the only man out of many that really made me think he loved me.
thanks for ur posts.
ramfish and dragon: do u find it hard to completely cut off communication with exes or past lovers?????
dragonaries
i have always made him feel like i was proud that he was my man. i lalways claimed him no matter if i was around men or women, they knew. however i also wanted the same thing but he only claimed me around men. when women were flirty with him, and he knew they were into him, he did not claim me, for example the t-shirt girl.
some girls he and his friends knew were visiting his hometown . i was not around that time and they all hung out. however this one girl asked him for the tshirt he had on. he gave it to her, took it right off his back. i find that inappropriate, who does that? after she went bk home, i learned she email him to tell him she wud be sleepin in it one night after she left.she called him and he her. even after she left she created an online aol userword and passowrd (her name was the pswrd), i found it strange, he didnt. i confronted him and i asked y didn't he just add her to msn, he said he didn't want her to know his msn. i find all this suspicious . anyway a month later she came back to his town, and told him she like him, he was a bartender and after hearing her say this, his co-worker bartender jumped in and told her he already had a woman. aries guy told me this, and it bothers me that his co worker had to tell her this, the only thing aries boy said to her was "you know my woman suspected u had a crush on me, you know my girl wouldn't like that u jus did that right?" i don't understand why it didn't come from him, he never came out and told her "i'm sorry, i'm flatter but i'm not interested" all he said was that i wouldn;t like it. how do i trust that????
dragonaries, it's tough understanding how u can make someone feel secure about you but they don't do the same. its like aries boy wants me and will try until he gets me bk then he doesn't know how to treat me. he's not very considerate.
i left toronto in 2007 aug and move back to the bahamas to be with him. i left my family, job, home and life style to be with him. 4 months later we were fighting and he kicked me out over apair of shoes. threw my bags with my clothes on the lawn. he knew i had no where to go, i was stuck on an island. his cousin gave me pair of shoes tha no longer fit and when he asked i refused to tell him. this upset him and things escalated. i didn't see the big deal over a pair of shoes. i guess he wanted control or something. he did alot of inconsiderate things. after this incident i left him and came back. this was our first big breakup
i have always made him feel like i was proud that he was my man. i lalways claimed him no matter if i was around men or women, they knew. however i also wanted the same thing but he only claimed me around men. when women were flirty with him, and he knew they were into him, he did not claim me, for example the t-shirt girl.
some girls he and his friends knew were visiting his hometown . i was not around that time and they all hung out. however this one girl asked him for the tshirt he had on. he gave it to her, took it right off his back. i find that inappropriate, who does that? after she went bk home, i learned she email him to tell him she wud be sleepin in it one night after she left.she called him and he her. even after she left she created an online aol userword and passowrd (her name was the pswrd), i found it strange, he didnt. i confronted him and i asked y didn't he just add her to msn, he said he didn't want her to know his msn. i find all this suspicious . anyway a month later she came back to his town, and told him she like him, he was a bartender and after hearing her say this, his co-worker bartender jumped in and told her he already had a woman. aries guy told me this, and it bothers me that his co worker had to tell her this, the only thing aries boy said to her was "you know my woman suspected u had a crush on me, you know my girl wouldn't like that u jus did that right?" i don't understand why it didn't come from him, he never came out and told her "i'm sorry, i'm flatter but i'm not interested" all he said was that i wouldn;t like it. how do i trust that????
dragonaries, it's tough understanding how u can make someone feel secure about you but they don't do the same. its like aries boy wants me and will try until he gets me bk then he doesn't know how to treat me. he's not very considerate.
i left toronto in 2007 aug and move back to the bahamas to be with him. i left my family, job, home and life style to be with him. 4 months later we were fighting and he kicked me out over apair of shoes. threw my bags with my clothes on the lawn. he knew i had no where to go, i was stuck on an island. his cousin gave me pair of shoes tha no longer fit and when he asked i refused to tell him. this upset him and things escalated. i didn't see the big deal over a pair of shoes. i guess he wanted control or something. he did alot of inconsiderate things. after this incident i left him and came back. this was our first big breakup
"ramfish and dragon: do u find it hard to completely cut off communication with exes or past lovers?????"
Depends...I'm the type of person that if I'm continuously blown off, that's it for me. Doesn't matter if it's a friend or lover. I find it's difficult for me to be friends with my exes. If I'm putting in the effort and getting nothing back, I'm gone. Forever gone. And getting me back to the point I was is very tough. If I was very much in love and still have those feelings, it's hard for me to completely cut someone off, but not impossible. It just takes a while and a lot of letting go and forcing myself to not pick up that phone or type that e-mail. I'm not a chaser and I rarely put myself out there. You will have to come to me.
Depends...I'm the type of person that if I'm continuously blown off, that's it for me. Doesn't matter if it's a friend or lover. I find it's difficult for me to be friends with my exes. If I'm putting in the effort and getting nothing back, I'm gone. Forever gone. And getting me back to the point I was is very tough. If I was very much in love and still have those feelings, it's hard for me to completely cut someone off, but not impossible. It just takes a while and a lot of letting go and forcing myself to not pick up that phone or type that e-mail. I'm not a chaser and I rarely put myself out there. You will have to come to me.
Posted by dragonaries
there are a lot of girls who like u and that makes me feel insecure because u flirt with them. I really care about u but it seems like ur too ashamed to introduce me or state to other girls u have a woman. They say you don't know what u got until its gone so if someday I happen to be gone, i truly hope this girls make you happy, as for me I will probably be in somebody's else arms who loves me, appreciates me and gives me all his attention.blockquote>
see i've said similiar things like this but u said it much betteri told him these things when we were together. once i told him that a woman can only take so much after that the energy goes and finally she gives up. i've told him one day i may be gone.
i guess i am afraid of losing him yet i'm afraid of holding on to something that will never progress. um i am 26 and he is 23, that is another reason i am glad we broke up, i wanted him to grow as a person without me but in the process i may lose him. i figured being apart will help us both grow and maybe one day if we reconnect, it may be better. who knows? for now i will keep in contact as friends and see if it takes us anywhere...
thanks for ur input, i am really glad for it.
this quot thing is wierd lol
ramfishtwins i think u and i are alike, i don't like chasing i like being chased however i must say that i've done a little chasing with my aries man and he has always returned the favour - lol
thanks for ur input much appreciated
are you aries as well? what ur dob?
and what about you dragon, what is ur dob?
ramfishtwins i think u and i are alike, i don't like chasing i like being chased however i must say that i've done a little chasing with my aries man and he has always returned the favour - lol
thanks for ur input much appreciated
are you aries as well? what ur dob?
and what about you dragon, what is ur dob?
Aries through and through. April 8th. I have Aries Sun, Mars, Venus and Merc.
Supposedly Aries likes the chase, but it's not for me. I don't play those bullshit games...no time.
Supposedly Aries likes the chase, but it's not for me. I don't play those bullshit games...no time.
Posted by ramfishtwins
Aries through and through. April 8th. I have Aries Sun, Mars, Venus and Merc.
Supposedly Aries likes the chase, but it's not for me. I don't play those bullshit games...no time.
I think it's more like we like the challenge... we're too honest to enjoy being the mouse.
lol my aries guy is april 7th - i think his moon is in pisces.
i'm cancer my moon is in leo.
i've heard these don't work. who knows - anyway thanks to all for the input and advice...only time will tell how is all ends
i'm cancer my moon is in leo.
i've heard these don't work. who knows - anyway thanks to all for the input and advice...only time will tell how is all ends
wow...cancer12 im born april 7th...the moon sign is sagitarius for that date...but this cancer chick who really liked me don't know if she still does and i liked back also has her moon in leo... cancer12 can i ask u since u have that combo? when there is a guy u like out of many guys for a year or too do u stop that like or love in say about 2 years time or does it stick with you?
wether or not you knew or didn't know he liked u back?
also taking in mind that this is the only guy u liked in a very large school and one of your friends knows him, if u found out he really likes/d u back too would u make a move or send any signals or just move on cause a year has passed since u even seen him...plz can u elaborate on what you would do because i need to know since u share the same chart as her?
Posted by dragonaries
wow...cancer12 im born april 7th...the moon sign is sagitarius for that date...but this cancer chick who really liked me don't know if she still does and i liked back also has her moon in leo... cancer12 can i ask u since u have that combo? when there is a guy u like out of many guys for a year or too do u stop that like or love in say about 2 years time or does it stick with you?
well dragon,
my aries was born in 1986, i asked someone to look into his chart and they said his moon was in pisces, i think it has to also do with which part of the world u were born in as well as yr and date of bith.
to anwer ur question, usually if i lie a guy i wait a bit before i let him know how i feel. it is my nature to be friendly at first to try and feel him out, see if he likes me too. i flirt a bit and if he flirt back that goes on for a bit. however if he full out comes out and tell me he likes me, then assuming i really like him, i will admit it. we cancers don't like rejection so we avoid it by feeling the other person out.
the thing is i can only answer from my own experiences, with my aries i did/do love him and we were in a relationship so that makes a big difference as to why i still am not over him- we have history.
did u and this girl date? if so how long? was it serious? or was it just mostly flirting?
maybe mimicking ur profile pic poses is her way of flirting with u - cancers can be very indirect at times - next time jus comment on one of her pics that look like urs and say " nice pic, almost looks as good as mine" lol see if she replies.
honestly i can't say how she wud react to u or how she feels - the only thing u can do is either fully come out and tell her u feel her or if u're worried about rejection then jus start off by just chit chatting - find out her likes and dislikes and eventually ask her to hang out. do an activity u both have in common. i say always start off as friends. cancer loves honestly so jus flirt like crazy with her, she'll get the picture. however if she sees u flirting with other women or hears u're into other chicks, she'll think she's just another girl - so if u like her go for it!!!
be real and be urself
honestly i can't say how she wud react to u or how she feels - the only thing u can do is either fully come out and tell her u feel her or if u're worried about rejection then jus start off by just chit chatting - find out her likes and dislikes and eventually ask her to hang out. do an activity u both have in common. i say always start off as friends. cancer loves honestly so jus flirt like crazy with her, she'll get the picture. however if she sees u flirting with other women or hears u're into other chicks, she'll think she's just another girl - so if u like her go for it!!!
be real and be urself
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