im a cancer woman recently cheatead by an aries
This topic was created in the Astrology forum by nina1324 on Thursday, February 12, 2009 and has 16 replies.
Is the very first time i post on here but i am goin thru a very painful situatin. My boyfriend iof 5yrs cheated on me for a 2nd time! .. i feel devastated, let strt saying that when i met him he used to drink a lot , he would spend pretty much every paycheck drinkin with his friends but when we started our relationship i started helping him like the cancer i am ... also i encourage him on goin back to school and many other things that in my point of view no one will put up with. Back in 2006 we moved in together a year later we broke up because he said it was a mistake moving so fast .. when it was his idea to do so... but to make the short i also have to mention that he have a 10 yr old daugther and the first time that i found out he betrayed me was with his baby mama... he gave the excuses that it was because of his daugther .. i didnt buy it .. we broke up for a couple of mths then he came back to me all sorry beggin for another changed , since i still loved him i did....he was ok only for 5mths and the boom once again he cheated on me with a woman that lives in his same apartment building ... i found out because the dog took picture and also found some other things in his apartment .... by this time he was trying to break with me but i didnt have the idea this had happened 
... i asked for explanations and he was soo cold and seemed not to cared and he said that he was like that and that the only thing he could say was sorry and that he was drunk when all this happened? i feel terrible but more to the fact am all hurt and he is all kool because he cant express his feelings.... its being 3 days and he havent call or write me at least to apologize ...i still feel for him and dont know what to do ... i also dont feel capable on taking him back because i know i deserve someone better and i was always figthing for this relationship ... i wonder if he really loved me ... so many questions ..... what should i do or think
... i asked for explanations and he was soo cold and seemed not to cared and he said that he was like that and that the only thing he could say was sorry and that he was drunk when all this happened? i feel terrible but more to the fact am all hurt and he is all kool because he cant express his feelings.... its being 3 days and he havent call or write me at least to apologize ...i still feel for him and dont know what to do ... i also dont feel capable on taking him back because i know i deserve someone better and i was always figthing for this relationship ... i wonder if he really loved me ... so many questions ..... what should i do or think
You DO deserve someone better, and he's out there looking for you.
Its easy for me to say "forget about him and move on"
Ive been in a similar situation, its hard, you want to let go of the feelings but you just cant.
Youre gonna go thru that painful period, it cant be avoided but believe me, it gets easier with time.
I thought my world had ended when i was cheated on, that was 3yrs ago, but guess what??
Im still here and i even laugh about it now, just as you will in the future.
Its easy for me to say "forget about him and move on"
Ive been in a similar situation, its hard, you want to let go of the feelings but you just cant.
Youre gonna go thru that painful period, it cant be avoided but believe me, it gets easier with time.
I thought my world had ended when i was cheated on, that was 3yrs ago, but guess what??
Im still here and i even laugh about it now, just as you will in the future.
thank to all who responded ... it makes me feel better .... i know i never did nothing wrong but love him with all my heart ... i hope one day he realize he lost a great woman
yes i am sure when it's too late he will realize he really lost me .. i did everything u name it i did it .... the first time he cheated he did write me an email explaning me why he did it and in one of his line he said i was the only girl that made a difference in his life... even his own mother told me he had stop drinking heavily because of me and was starting to be more responsible. i ask him to give me a reason why he cheated when i confronted him and he couldn't give me one BECAUSE THERE WERE NONE! even when he treated me like shit i never cheated on him on revenge .... it kills me that he cheated and didnt care to throw away 5 yrs down the drain! and he have the guts to say " im sorry i cant go back in time and changed things" and only say he was "sorry", BUT AGAIN THANKS TO THE ONE WHO RESPONDED SORRY FOR MY TYPOS I WAS WRITTNG VERY FAST WHEN I POSTED THE FIRST ONE .. BUT YEA ALL OF U ARE RIGTH I DESERVE BETTER.
AND MY REVENGE WILL BE TO IGNORE HIM WHEN HE COMES BACK AND BEG ME FOR ANOTHER CHANCE =)
AND MY REVENGE WILL BE TO IGNORE HIM WHEN HE COMES BACK AND BEG ME FOR ANOTHER CHANCE =)
Don't worry nina take a decision what your mind say Don't listen to anybody else because its yours life think and take a right decision
"i ask him to give me a reason why he cheated when i confronted him and he couldn't give me one BECAUSE THERE WERE NONE! even when he treated me like shit i never cheated on him on revenge .... it kills me that he cheated and didnt care to throw away 5 yrs down the drain"
That is a pity that you've lost this man .. for shame he wants to throw it down the drain, for it sounds like it was a keeper from the very beginning, but, he just couldn't see it?
Could you?
What a pity that he couldn't see evertime he treated you like shit, that you continued to put forth effort in keeping this relatinship, regardless of the treatment .... he should have realized what he had who was willing to take this for the sake of love, and not have a desire to forfiet this beautiful union.
Did you see this relationship for what it's worth?
That is a pity that you've lost this man .. for shame he wants to throw it down the drain, for it sounds like it was a keeper from the very beginning, but, he just couldn't see it?
Could you?
What a pity that he couldn't see evertime he treated you like shit, that you continued to put forth effort in keeping this relatinship, regardless of the treatment .... he should have realized what he had who was willing to take this for the sake of love, and not have a desire to forfiet this beautiful union.
Did you see this relationship for what it's worth?
"but to make the short i also have to mention that he have a 10 yr old daugther and the first time that i found out he betrayed me was with his baby mama... he gave the excuses that it was because of his daugther"
Because it would make his 10 year old daughter happy if her parents fucked?
" .. i didnt buy it .. "
Of course, you bought it .. you took him back for another round, didn't ya?
"we broke up for a couple of mths then he came back to me all sorry beggin for another changed , since i still loved him i did."
What does love have to do with it?
Love got you here.
If you view the tolerance of bad treatment according to levels of love felt, as it pertains to being acceptable because of this love .......
.... then round 3 is inevitable.
As well as future cheaters/abusers who are keepers in the name of love.
Because it would make his 10 year old daughter happy if her parents fucked?
" .. i didnt buy it .. "
Of course, you bought it .. you took him back for another round, didn't ya?
"we broke up for a couple of mths then he came back to me all sorry beggin for another changed , since i still loved him i did."
What does love have to do with it?
Love got you here.
If you view the tolerance of bad treatment according to levels of love felt, as it pertains to being acceptable because of this love .......
.... then round 3 is inevitable.
As well as future cheaters/abusers who are keepers in the name of love.
i know is my fault that i stood up all his shit for "love" .. i really thought that deep inside him he was goin to change ... i believed in him .. but he failed ... at he beggining yes i saw the relationship goin somewhere but recently i didnt and i think now that i remained there because somehow i got used to him or it? or maybe i was afraid to be alone ... i don't know i wish i could answer my own questions also ... and i thank for ur comments harsh but you are INDEED rigth and i appreciate it.
i feel terrible but more to the fact am all hurt and he is all kool because he cant express his feelings.... its being 3 days and he havent call or write me at least to apologize ...i still feel for him and dont know what to do ... i also dont feel capable on taking him back because i know i deserve someone better and i was always figthing for this relationship ... i wonder if he really loved me ... so many questions ..... what should i do or think.................i really thought that deep inside him he was goin to change ... i believed in him .. but he failed
are you his mother? really what do you owe someone that treats you like this whom you have no blood ties to?
This isn't love, whatever you have or offer is not going to change who is not willing to change... taking him back after cheating the 1st time was pretty much the no-no, his reason for cheating the first time was really very bad and he was able to wave that over your head, so yea, he was gonna do it again...
There is really no faulting or revenge, etc,... it's the ability to see reality for what it is
If you view the tolerance of bad treatment according to levels of love felt, as it pertains to being acceptable because of this love .......
.... then round 3 is inevitable.
As well as future cheaters/abusers who are keepers in the name of love.
are you his mother? really what do you owe someone that treats you like this whom you have no blood ties to?
This isn't love, whatever you have or offer is not going to change who is not willing to change... taking him back after cheating the 1st time was pretty much the no-no, his reason for cheating the first time was really very bad and he was able to wave that over your head, so yea, he was gonna do it again...
There is really no faulting or revenge, etc,... it's the ability to see reality for what it is
If you view the tolerance of bad treatment according to levels of love felt, as it pertains to being acceptable because of this love .......
.... then round 3 is inevitable.
As well as future cheaters/abusers who are keepers in the name of love.
I think you stayed with him because in a way, you pitied him...
I did that with my first bf without even realising it...He was quite a wreck when I met him (presented a good front until we'd been together a few weeks, then the truth started coming out), and naive little me at that stage thought that if someone would just give this guy a chance, if someone would just stand by him...That he would be all better, I really thought I could help him. And I did, I helped him alot...But I felt like I had failed, because I did not get the result that I expected (not even close). And I gave, and gave, and gave of myself to my own detriment...To the point where I almost gave up on life completely. I have never been so unhappy in my life as what I was with him.
Take the time to heal yourself, to cry out your pain, and to do whatever you need to do to get back on your feet. The pain does ease in time, I promise...Just don't beat yourself up over the fact that he IS a loser, because you can't change that...Nobody can but him. One thing I learned, is you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped...And unfortunately, these types are very good at playing the role.
Remember, you'll be wiser and stronger than you could ever imagine because of this...Take care
I did that with my first bf without even realising it...He was quite a wreck when I met him (presented a good front until we'd been together a few weeks, then the truth started coming out), and naive little me at that stage thought that if someone would just give this guy a chance, if someone would just stand by him...That he would be all better, I really thought I could help him. And I did, I helped him alot...But I felt like I had failed, because I did not get the result that I expected (not even close). And I gave, and gave, and gave of myself to my own detriment...To the point where I almost gave up on life completely. I have never been so unhappy in my life as what I was with him.
Take the time to heal yourself, to cry out your pain, and to do whatever you need to do to get back on your feet. The pain does ease in time, I promise...Just don't beat yourself up over the fact that he IS a loser, because you can't change that...Nobody can but him. One thing I learned, is you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped...And unfortunately, these types are very good at playing the role.
Remember, you'll be wiser and stronger than you could ever imagine because of this...Take care
I think you stayed with him because in a way, you pitied him...
Hmmm, I will say that sometimes when you find certain things out about someone, it creates something totally different in a relationship. I tried to breakup with the guy I'm with twice but I couldn't because of certain things I know about him.
If I'm unaware that he is not doing what he is suppose to do in order to take care of himself, that would bother me ...
Hmmm, I will say that sometimes when you find certain things out about someone, it creates something totally different in a relationship. I tried to breakup with the guy I'm with twice but I couldn't because of certain things I know about him.
If I'm unaware that he is not doing what he is suppose to do in order to take care of himself, that would bother me ...
I did that with my first bf without even realising it...He was quite a wreck when I met him (presented a good front until we'd been together a few weeks, then the truth started coming out), and naive little me at that stage thought that if someone would just give this guy a chance, if someone would just stand by him...
Really oddball? Our stories are similar ... hmmm
Really oddball? Our stories are similar ... hmmm
Yeah...Ironically, he was a cap guy lol!!! This was a few years ago now though.
Hun, you should never let that (his issues) stop you...You gotta do what's right for you, and he needs to sort his own shit out (like a grown-up!! He's not a baby!). I dunno what these "certain things" are, but be very careful in this situation you're in now because usually it turns out to be people like you and me that suffer. All I know is, i'm not doing it anymore...I won't lose myself again. Been there, done that, and it wasn't fun!! Was a hard lesson to learn as well, coz i'm a very caring person...
I know it's not easy CS, but if you don't look after you, then who will? Trust me, these needy types will never put you first. They will just take from you for however long you allow it. My health actually suffered quite badly from the experience I speak of, so please look after yourself. Don't make the same mistake I did. I am all better now, but it took me YEARS to recover completely.
Hun, you should never let that (his issues) stop you...You gotta do what's right for you, and he needs to sort his own shit out (like a grown-up!! He's not a baby!). I dunno what these "certain things" are, but be very careful in this situation you're in now because usually it turns out to be people like you and me that suffer. All I know is, i'm not doing it anymore...I won't lose myself again. Been there, done that, and it wasn't fun!! Was a hard lesson to learn as well, coz i'm a very caring person...
I know it's not easy CS, but if you don't look after you, then who will? Trust me, these needy types will never put you first. They will just take from you for however long you allow it. My health actually suffered quite badly from the experience I speak of, so please look after yourself. Don't make the same mistake I did. I am all better now, but it took me YEARS to recover completely.
^ true !
Drop him for good. If he gives you any lip or attitude, you gotta be tough and show no fear to talk back, and he may just lay low. He sounds pretty bad, and you don't deserve any of that.
Oh wow.. this situation sounds so similar to mine. I posted mine in the Scorpio section. Only mine was a Scorpio, the woman he cheated on me with was a Libra, and we have a son together. But yeah he also cheated on me, and it was for the 2nd time. It's crazy to see the different responses you got. I think most people were so harsh because my guy was a Scorpio, and some people feel territorial over them, and my situation was just a way for some to reassure themselves they're sign & Scorpio's is the best match and Scorpio/Cancer don't go.. which isn't true, any unevolved sign with another sign won't go. Anyway.. I know how painful it is... and you will get through it. I really just had to hang it up, and not look back. Yeah I heard of things he's said to mutual friends.. and I know he was calling me blocked and hanging up. It will be a terribly painful thing but, don't call, don't go see him, if you can just try to erase him from your memory for awhile. I've gotten more than enough to keep me busy, with school and our son and yeah there will be times you still feel upset, and want to cry but it will be ok. I got a long list of goals, I've been crossing off and that's something that helps too. Another thing is what goes around comes around, and chance is the girl he's cheating with he'll do the same to her. If he's not a good man, then he's not gonna be a good man to any woman. Period. I listen to music, I work out, I write,I read, I busy my self with my school work well that one's really no choice.. but hey days will get better. Now, I still think of him because I spent 4 + years of my life with him and have a child with him, and devoted so much of my love, time, energy into him. Even if I'm dying inside with pain, I won't show it, cause he doesn't need to see what he's doing/done to me. When you show that you're moving on, and living well, thats when he'll come back. Oh and I can't tell you how many times, I thought it was really over and Scorpio came back.. not that I'm looking for him to do so. But with my experience this will probably go on for a couple more years and he will try to come back, and gain your trust, and charm you and lure you back into his arms.
Now, I still think of him because I spent 4 + years of my life with him and have a child with him, and devoted so much of my love, time, energy into him. Even if I'm dying inside with pain, I won't show it, cause he doesn't need to see what he's doing/done to me. When you show that you're moving on, and living well, thats when he'll come back. Oh and I can't tell you how many times, I thought it was really over and Scorpio came back.. not that I'm looking for him to do so. But with my experience this will probably go on for a couple more years and he will try to come back, and gain your trust, and charm you and lure you back into his arms.Related Topics
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