Do Cancer men sometimes behave like the breakup never happened?

Posted by LadyNeptune

But... a breakup didn't happen. So that's why he is acting like it didn't... because it didn't.

You have to be in a relationship in order to breakup.

Idk that I'd call him being his normal self around you as 'hanging on for dear life' type of behavior. Do you expect him to be an ass?

Seeking out second hand information from mutual friends, counting his likes on other peoples sm, you sure your not the one hanging on here?

Stick to your boundaries. He can't give you what you want. If that changes he can come to you directly and let it be known. Don't look for signs in his interactions with others.

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by LadyNeptune

But... a breakup didn't happen. So that's why he is acting like it didn't... because it didn't.

You have to be in a relationship in order to breakup.

Idk that I'd call him being his normal self around you as 'hanging on for dear life' type of behavior. Do you expect him to be an ass?

Seeking out second hand information from mutual friends, counting his likes on other peoples sm, you sure your not the one hanging on here?

Stick to your boundaries. He can't give you what you want. If that changes he can come to you directly and let it be known. Don't look for signs in his interactions with others.

I probably wasn’t clear. We were seeing each other at least once or twice a week, usually in group settings. We were regularly physically intimate with limits (all his). We texted regularly. Basically, we were a couple without the label. Everybody knew that we were “together.” All of that stopped and when I told him the situation was becoming too painful for me, and I went no contact. Maybe you don’t want to call it a technical break up, but a situationship can be ended by either party. We were definitely not acting like platonic friends. And as for him asking after me and talking about me and liking my stuff on other peoples posts, this is not information I have sought out. My friends have volunteered this information without me asking. I have worked so hard to physically avoid him, and it’s really difficult because we’re in the same circle of friends. Never once have I initiated contact with him in the last three months.

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Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by LadyNeptune

But... a breakup didn't happen. So that's why he is acting like it didn't... because it didn't.

You have to be in a relationship in order to breakup.

Idk that I'd call him being his normal self around you as 'hanging on for dear life' type of behavior. Do you expect him to be an ass?

Seeking out second hand information from mutual friends, counting his likes on other peoples sm, you sure your not the one hanging on here?

Stick to your boundaries. He can't give you what you want. If that changes he can come to you directly and let it be known. Don't look for signs in his interactions with others.

I probably wasn’t clear. We were seeing each other at least once or twice a week, usually in group settings. We were regularly physically intimate with limits (all his). We texted regularly. Basically, we were a couple without the label. Everybody knew that we were “together.” All of that stopped and when I told him the situation was becoming too painful for me, and I went no contact. Maybe you don’t want to call it a technical break up, but a situationship can be ended by either party. We were definitely not acting like platonic friends. And as for him asking after me and talking about me and liking my stuff on other peoples posts, this is not information I have sought out. My friends have volunteered this information without me asking. I have worked so hard to physically avoid him, and it’s really difficult because we’re in the same circle of friends. Never once have I initiated contact with him in the last three months.

You may have been fucking, hanging out, affectionate, etc etc. But the facts are, he made it very clear that he did not want a romantic relationship.

I understand it wasn't platonic. That still doesn't make you distancing yourself from him a breakup.

Whether you sought out the info or not you seem to be reading into it, hoping for the outcome you desire. Again, if he has changed his mind he can be direct with you and let it be known. For your own peace of mind let this go completely. You can't control his actions and intentions, you can only control yours. Putting energy into interpreting him as 'hanging on' is not gonna help you let go.

I guess the lesson to learn here is to believe and accept people for where they are at, don't try to change someone. It'll just end in disappointment. Also maybe don't dip into the friend pool next time, awkward af when it implodes. Or if you do go there, take things slow very veeeery slow.

click to expand

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by LadyNeptune

But... a breakup didn't happen. So that's why he is acting like it didn't... because it didn't.

You have to be in a relationship in order to breakup.

Idk that I'd call him being his normal self around you as 'hanging on for dear life' type of behavior. Do you expect him to be an ass?

Seeking out second hand information from mutual friends, counting his likes on other peoples sm, you sure your not the one hanging on here?

Stick to your boundaries. He can't give you what you want. If that changes he can come to you directly and let it be known. Don't look for signs in his interactions with others.

I probably wasn’t clear. We were seeing each other at least once or twice a week, usually in group settings. We were regularly physically intimate with limits (all his). We texted regularly. Basically, we were a couple without the label. Everybody knew that we were “together.” All of that stopped and when I told him the situation was becoming too painful for me, and I went no contact. Maybe you don’t want to call it a technical break up, but a situationship can be ended by either party. We were definitely not acting like platonic friends. And as for him asking after me and talking about me and liking my stuff on other peoples posts, this is not information I have sought out. My friends have volunteered this information without me asking. I have worked so hard to physically avoid him, and it’s really difficult because we’re in the same circle of friends. Never once have I initiated contact with him in the last three months.

You may have been fucking, hanging out, affectionate, etc etc. But the facts are, he made it very clear that he did not want a romantic relationship.

I understand it wasn't platonic. That still doesn't make you distancing yourself from him a breakup.

Whether you sought out the info or not you seem to be reading into it, hoping for the outcome you desire. Again, if he has changed his mind he can be direct with you and let it be known. For your own peace of mind let this go completely. You can't control his actions and intentions, you can only control yours. Putting energy into interpreting him as 'hanging on' is not gonna help you let go.

I guess the lesson to learn here is to believe and accept people for where they are at, don't try to change someone. It'll just end in disappointment. Also maybe don't dip into the friend pool next time, awkward af when it implodes. Or if you do go there, take things slow very veeeery slow.

Again, I don’t think I’m being clear. I’m not looking for an outcome. I don’t want to get back together with him. He is emotionally unavailable and can’t meet probably 90% of my relationship needs. Our life style s are not compatible. He’s the one who said he only wanted friendship, but he’s not acting anything like a platonic friend by being clingy AF. That’s what I’m trying to get at. I’ve already started going out on dates with other people, and yes, it is totally on me to put the brakes on this clingy behavior and remind him that he needs to act like a platonic friend since that’s what he wants. He’s pretty textbook cancer about almost everything, so I’m just trying to figure out if this post semi romantic messy situationship ending whatever, since you say it’s not a breakup, it’s typical for cancer men. He could just as well have started ignoring me or just saying hi and going about his business whenever we run into each other.

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