I don't get it, is this normal?

First off I'm brand new here, I enjoy reading these threads.
I'm a leo with a capricorn ascendant my guy was a cancer.

I dated this one cancer guy who I met on a dating site, we hit it off really well and there was clearly chemistry between us. It was partly a long distance, he was finishing his last term (4 months) at university.
He made me handcrafted chainmail jewellery, called me his future, and we kept in touch almost every single day.
I visited him on the weekend just around valentines day, it was the most amazing weekend ever. He invited me back in march because there was a grad ball going on and he wanted me to be there.
March came around I visited him again. Friday was really good, Saturday I noticed him acting a bit distant, Sunday he began grunting everytime I touched him. He asked me to leave early on Sunday as he had to study, by now he was staring off into space. As I got on the bus he gave me the emptiest hug.
The next evening he said he was having doubts about us, and wanted to put us on hold until he finished his term, graduated, and did a backpack through Europe.

Two weeks later I woke up to a breakup e-mail sent to me at five in the morning.
Over time he said he wants to be just friends, and contradicted himself by saying it was never his intention to have a serious relationship with me.
The last time him and I talked at great length was last july, since then he hasn't made any attempts to initiate conversation with me.
I mailed him a christmas card this year, he did respond, but it was a very bland/dead response.
What confuses me the most is the fact that he still keeps me on his msn messenger, even though he never talks to me anymore. I personally am not ready to delete him, but whats the deal with him.

i think u just told us what the deal was........something happened, it probably had nothing to do with u so

good to see you participating more 🙂

now get your ass back over to the other thread 😉

yes ma'am.lol

You might not still be on his messenger. You can delete people without them knowing. He might have just realized that he didnt want a relationship with you and that last time you all spent together kind of confirmed it for him. His blank/bland responses in my opinion would be a clear indication of his feelings. I think Cancers have a weird time explaining the kind of relationship they want. You say here that he came off as more serious, but he said it was never his intention of wanting a serious relationship. I know cancers who have said they didnt want anything serious then got seriously peeved when it was mentioned to them that things should be kept casual. I think its that their intentions and what their feelings can grow to be are very different things, or their intentions and what they are comfortable doing are different. Either way I think his signs are pretty clear, for a man that wants to move on I'd say its normal.

you are still on his messenger cause he doesn't know when he might want to contact you again and to have to go and look up stuff is a pain. also, we have a hard time discarding things cause we might need whatever it is again sometime in the future and having it around also makes us feel secure...

yay 🙂
cansir has rejoined us

Actually, I do see him online quite often, he just never says anything to me.

I have heard before about what cansir said about cancers not discarding things or people, maybe that is going on here.

zan not sure if you have read this on here before but i will say it again. we cancers do things on our time and when we feel like it. he seems to be in shell mode, so i am sure he can see you online too but he won't make a move until he has thought everything out or he could just be doing it to piss you off..believe me we know what we are doing and have gone through all the possible scenarios.

All possible scenarios? So the things you do are to create the scenario you like the best?

you're catching on to cancers 😉

lol angel! I think I may in trouble! haha

And what happens when Cancers don't get the scenario they were hoping for?

they pout and brood in their shells....until something else catches their attention

or we focus on what we need to do in order to turn the scenario back to what we were hoping for 😉

cansir - I'm shocked 😉

Zan, Cancer men don't like to RUSH to much into nothing head on. You being a Leo probably wanted to rush things with him and he felt as if you were moving WAY to fast for him and he just slowed your relationship down a bit. He probably hasn't forgot about you, he just wants to come around on his terms and with school there is a possibility that he is not interested in anything long term right now.

Yes cansir I have heard of cancers doing everything on their own time, luckily I am quite patient or else I would have given up on this a very long time ago. I just wonder how long a shell mode can last for, and I hope my Christmas card doesn't make him stay in there even longer.

Krobe, I personally feel like I was going at an even pace, but maybe to him it was rushing. He did finish school last April, and has been working since July, so I can understand if he wants alone time to get grounded.
Of this whole scenario it bugs me that he said things to me that he later insisted he never meant.

heh cancerbuddy, I hope I'm not locked out of his shell for all eternity. The very last time I had a decent conversation I told him his ignoring me was really bugging me, all he said was "in time"

Do you..... cancer will come around in his own time.

"in time" i've heard that one before... hey cansir do you guys change your minds about the end scenario you want?