Making a cancer man feel wanted, any suggestions? (Page 2)

Yea Scop chick is like the Ho in the area, everyone knows who she is. And she's rough, and a fighter, she will fight for him until the end of time. Very confident obviously because she feels that he will never leave her, at least not for long. So what do I do Krobe03 at this point, ignore his calls what? lol that's all I get out of this is phone calls, how should I talk to him. Should I be nasty and be a b@# $ % ? I know I have him in a way because yesterday he called my job countless amount of times, even after I kept hanging up on him. Then he left a message on my cell; So when I finally did speak to him, and I told him it was over, he kept saying "no its not over, I am not going anywhere, and telling me how much he loves me and how he will not leave me alone. That he's not cheating, he loves me and he feels he has finally found someone that he loves, and cares about. He doesn't have time for anyone else. Blah blah blah.

I know it sounds SICK! But, U cannot not B 2 nice 2 this type of man. Not going 2 work. U have 2 give him the real hot cold shoulder treatment.

iluvmecancer,

I haven't read over ALL of this, but is he really close w/ his mother? I know that sounds like a weird question, but I have dated 2 Cancers. And what I have realized is that the mother is the only real "hold" on them... That is just with my experiences!

Yeah,
My man's mom was a Cancer and she stalked him, until the day she died. Like he was HER man. But, I let him B with his mom, because U only have 1 MOTHER! If he is attached 2 her. Let it B.

I don't have a problem with him being close to his mom. I love his mom, she's like a mom to me and treats me like I am her child. I know his mom will always come first and I am not asking for him to put me before her or anything. I just she could have taught him to be responsible, and taught that him that if he works hard for things he will appreciate it more, that's all. But there is no way to change that now, he's grown and spoiled.

I am spoiled too, however my mom has taught me to be responsible and never depend on anyone else but myself.

An me, I have given in too easily and that's why he treats me the way he does. So that's my fault, because I allowed it.

hmmm....battling a scorpio huh? good luck to ya! u said it before, she will fight to the death! If she (a) really wants him (b) really wants to hurt you, she will stop at nothing to achieve whatever her goal is. She now has a mission at hand, and most likely the mission will be accomplished.

but that doesn't mean that you can't win the fight to get her out of the picture. however, she will not make it easy for you at all. but it can be done. (that part was for KROBE because I know she will come roaring) *sprinkle sprinkle*

Yea she has tries but I am still standing, and still here. I do like the challenge to a certain extent because I do feel that I can win, and I am determined. And if it ends up not working out between him and I in the end at least I can say that I didn't give up. One of the things that I love about myself is that I am a determined individual, I believe in winning, and if there is something I want I go for it. Everyone has their share of trials and tribulations, and if they can manage to get through it without falling apart, you will always come out on top. If you compare the two of us as far as the qualities, and who has more going on in life for themselves; and u had to choose who was better for him it would be me no doubt about it. Yea he likes the challenge of running behind her but I do believe he will wake up and get tired of her.

(that part was for KROBE because I know she will come roaring) *sprinkle sprinkle*
Oh LOL LS,
If Cancer has a SCORP, I am not worried about her! She knows about me, and ever lady he knows knows about ME! So, if I am around she gets IGNORED like she does not exist LOL! I am PUBLIC! So, she knows about ME! I haven't met them yet! Oh and I get all the love in PUBLIC kissing, and ALL. Do U Scorps like other women kissing their man? He sure tells me nobody is important than this! Esp, if people R looking! Did I tell U we have not had sex yet? Um, did I tell U I have a man he knows about? So, maybe someone does not know the trick is not sex!I sure must know how 2 make him feel good!


If you compare the two of us as far as the qualities, and who has more going on in life for themselves; and u had to choose who was better for him it would be me no doubt about it. Yea he likes the challenge of running behind her but I do believe he will wake up and get tired of her.

HE will, but let her do him in! That is what he needs! C while U R sitting their waiting on him, she is threatening 2 do his boys, a typical Scorp trait, so he has 2 watch her cause he knows she won't wait! Let him get it out of his system. I'm sorry Cancer men love hoes! If I have 2 B 1 so B it!

And U GIVE him a challenge! If he cheats on U, cheat on HIM! U don't owe him faithfullness! I will say it again, men say they want this kind of TRUE woman, but I am here 2 tell U, NOT bragging! But, NO, the worst U R, the more they LOVE U! If U R boring, he is gone! U have 2 know how 2 trigger his mechs so that NO MATTER WHAT U do, U will have A MAN so far gone, he won't B able 2 C past your dirty drawls!

hmmm....battling a scorpio huh? good luck to ya! u said it before, she will fight to the death! If she (a) really wants him (b) really wants to hurt you, she will stop at nothing to achieve whatever her goal is. She now has a mission at hand, and most likely the mission will be accomplished.

Um, this is 4 younger men, REAL men distance themselves from this type of behavior! Um, LS did U not say your Cancer bailed out a couple times? Did he not distance himself and give the old typical male excuses All males that R not ready 4 commitment give? Oh, it's not U, it's me? Yeah! I have not heard that one yet! Oh and by the way, I read somewhere the other day, if a man asks a LADY 1 DAY, if she likes how things R going, and then goes cold about 1

in about 1 week, then it is the women he is running from, she has depended on him 2 emotionally. Not HIS problems! That came from another man by the way! Let SCORP have him. He will get tired!

hmmm....battling a scorpio huh? good luck to ya! u said it before, she will fight to the death! If she (a) really wants him (b) really wants to hurt you, she will stop at nothing to achieve whatever her goal is. She now has a mission at hand, and most likely the mission will be accomplished.
REAL Men calls this type of woman an intensity JUNKIE 2 men, she is nothing more than passion and sex, just the game a man wants her 2 fall into! But, once he has conquered this sexual challenge the thrill is GONE! Y because all they have in common is sex! Let her HAVE him! Don't compete! U give HIM competition!

yeah I knew the lion would roar

Krobe, I'm talking about the scorp female and what is most likely going on thru her head as far as her mission. Scorps don't give up until they either see no hope or until they win. I don't know how the cancer will react to her behavior, it depends on how she goes about it. She could be good or bad with her tactics, who knows. I can't speak for a cancer guy.

well, what is he doing with this scorp woman anyways? is he having sex with her? there is this thing out there called HIV...maybe u heard of it?

OK!
4 the record! This is an email I got from a MAN! It ought 2 make some women feel real low. This is how men look at women. If U want 2 label yourself as KMART then go 4 it!

STRAIGHT FROM A REAL MAN'S MOUTH!

All too often, I've seen women diminish their value in the eyes of the man they're with when they do things that clearly indicate their lack of self-esteem. In an effort to please their man or keep from losing him, they often end up sleeping with him or having sex much too early in the relationship (among other things). That's equivalent to putting a virtual price tag on yourself that says, "Bargain Price - Buy Now."
What is your value to your man?

Your value to your man is whatever part of his life he's willing to devote to you. The more valuable you are in his eyes, the more he'll want to be with you - and the less valuable you are in his eyes, the less he'll want to be with you.

If you slept with him too early in your relationship, do you think that increased your value to him? If you're always at his beck and call, and you clean his apartment/house for him, walk his dog, pick up his clothes at the cleaners and have s.e.x with him whenever he asks for it, does that make you more valuable in his eyes?

If your answer was anything but a resounding "No!" then I can tell you right now why he left you. He didn't perceive you as someone of great value to him. Men seldom value what they don't have to work for.

OH sorry, i'm sprinkling negative dust sprinkle, sprinkle LMOA! I know I am not a fool!

is sex even the issue here? i'm confused.

"OH sorry, i'm sprinkling negative dust sprinkle, sprinkle LMOA! I know I am not a fool!"

((scratching head))

I do believe the only reason why he is still running her is nothing more than sex. She doesn't have anything going on in her life, she has been to jail countless amount of times, and they say she's "crazy". The girl can't even take care of herself let alone keep a job, there isn't anything she can do for him besides give him good sex. She's always depending on some one to pay her bills because she can't....That's why at the end of the day no matter what he will never be able to leave me alone because I am worth more than she is, I have more going on for me in my life than she could ever have. She is the whore around town, everyone knows about her talks are about her. She can't even manage to keep herself out of trouble, she always wants to fight someone, even him when she doesn't get what she wants. I could sit here all day and tell u more, but I am sure u get the point. She is worthless, and that's why she could never win against me. So it's all SEX, there is no doubt about that. Like I said one day he will get tired of running behind her, because he will see she has nothing else to offer but good sex. Why settle just for sex, when u can be with someone who can give u more than just that?

Cancer's are just as well determined as scorpios.

READ ALL LADIES THE DANGER OF AN INTENSE CONNECTION, OR INITIATING SEX! IF U GIVE IT 2 EARLY U R VALUED BUY, HERE PAY HERE! THAT IS WHAT INTENSE FEELINS GET U 2 B VALUED AS! CHEAP! READ Y MEN LEAVE WOMEN LADIES AND NEVER COMMIT. NOT HARD 2 UNDERSTAND! U HEARD IT FROM A MAN! EASY WOMEN R NO VALUE! READ!

"Why settle just for sex, when u can be with someone who can give u more than just that? "

awww...obviously because he's a jackass

ugh...she's dirty, please be careful with him if she's a whore around town

seems like u have a big heart luvmecancer and that ur really sweet

Aww thanks lady scorp

i know u said before that its over with the 2 of u, but is that really true?

Like I said one day he will get tired of running behind her, because he will see she has nothing else to offer but good sex. Why settle just for sex, when u can be with someone who can give u more than just that?

Cancer's are just as well determined as scorpios.

Yes! HE WILL MEN stay physically attracted 2 easy sex for about 1.5-2 years. A known fact. Oh and believe it or not, a known fact is the more useless the woman is, the more a man is attracted 2 her, because she is easy. Until he graduates from KMART! Let her HAVE him. DUMP HIM, and show NO interest. He will come CRYING! I know mines really cries and whines when I dump him.

And yes he is stupid, but I do believe no matter what he knows that he has someone special(me). And thats why no matter how many times I pull myself away he cannot let go (I have more than I can count). I am not saying it's right what he's doing, but sometimes u go through situations in life that wakes u up and makes u realize that do have someone special, and often times it's too late.

some of these fireworks sound like bombs going off....they're beautiful but i hate it

Yeah,
Cancers have soft hearts! Scorps don't! Get hard and protect your heart! Dump him and put competition on him! I bet that is what she is doing! Dump him, I am telling U it works!

Oh to answer your question lady scorp.... I did say it was over, I said it was over and because he won't let me go it makes much harder to leave. I know I may appear stupid, I know : (. I think it would be easier if he could just let me go, and agree that he would leave me alone. I have changed my number countless amount of times, and he would call my friends and beg, or search my friends on my space sending a message pleading. I bartend on weekends and he would show up at the bar. No matter how hard I try to let him go, I can't and he won't let me go.

Yes I agree leaving does work, but he always appear lol.

I don't think you're stupid, I think you're real.

Usually when a relationship is over, it's over; I am not use to a guy doing so much just to get back in contact with me, or to see me just so there is an opportunity for him to talk to me. He said it himself that he will not leave me alone, and I work at a law firm during the week and I have to answer all calls, so he kept calling me at work because that's direct access to me.

When I ignore his calls it's like he panics, and then when he finally talks to me I get all types of questions thrown at me. Now does this sound like a man that can leave me alone?

how do u feel about him contacting you like that?

I don't think U R stupid either. But, just quite letting him sweet talk his way back 2 U. I am sorry, I mess up BIG time with my Cancer, but I always can go back and sweet talk him, and he gives in. I CAN do anything and get away with it. Stop being so soft hearted.

It sounds like intense feelings (negativity) was just a little 2 easy! Cheap! She is cheap. Let her have him. Give him a run and he will value U.

It makes me feel good, because I know he cannot let me go; However I often wonder if it will ever stop and if I could actually leave him alone for good. The times I would break up with him the max has been a month and it was all great for me. I am good at getting over someone when all contact is cut off, it's so much easier for me, that has always been my remedy and it works much faster than I ever thought.

It may seem wrong, there has been relationships I left and it seem like I fell off the face of the earth and they wouldn't hear from me until years later and they then asked what happened? I tried that with him one day, left his house while he was out, went home changed my number and didnt contact him before u knew it I got calls at work and he has my job email, and there were emails.

When we were broken up for a month, I remembered the date and I intended on celebrating and before I even got the chance to there he was; My friend called me and said u will not believe who contacted me on my space/my phone etc.
See cancers are determined lol

Let her HAVE HIM right now she is an EASY CHEAP piece of arse, that he is going 2 leave, all that is their is the intense feelings and her chasing him giving him attention. Believe me a man's job is 2 pursue a woman. He will get tired of her, and when he leaves, he will not want 2 go back 2 that mess!

Well right now I am not calling him, Im just here. He called me at work and asked what I was doing tonight, and I told him I have to work (bartend) I don't have to be in until twelve though. And he says I was hoping we could do something together, and I told him "oh well u shouldn't have waited until the last minute" So he lost out. See usually I am available to him. And he kept tell me how much he's missing me. So Im doing ok

I really have learned a lot from these boards....my boss is a cancer and I thought he was a fairly smart man who had all his _hit together....but he has recently gone back to his old relationship...its funny he said it was a toxic relationship and that all his ex wanted was his money...why do these men go back to stuff like that....he even got full custody of his child...

Will they ever learn?

iluvmecancer let him go and I mean let him goooooooooooooo no more talk sweetheart, start hanging up in his face, you have to break the bonds, let him know he can't have VERSACE if he's roaming the K-MART isles...your not better than her if you continue to play to his BS, you say your worth more but you continue to fixate on the day he leaves her, this screams LOW SELF ESTEEM, if you feel she's worthless then what are you for allowing him back in....WAKE UP....cut the ties and scream restraining order LOL!!

He's playing you...simple as that and you are responsible for saying NO NO NO NO, you can't have this high price love when your slumming in the gutter...THE 2 DON'T MIX

I agree I know this is not healthy. Its not like I would lose anything if I did leave.

And if U don't LET him value U, He won't want 2 put in work!

fyi you have part of the secret down packed that will get a man back but you won't stick with it....you be steady and show him that your not a low class, I NEED him to be whole type of woman...yes you risk losing him but you already lost if he's coming back and forth like your 7 eleven open 24 hours type of woman...your not and you know your not so stop acting this way...what message do you think your sending by allowing him in when he gets scared, panicky and intense? Your saying I love to be chased baby, keep leaving me and chasing me down...I love it and I will allow you to do this for the next 5.2 years...YES this is what your teaching him...so who's at fault? Him or you?

you want him permanently then dump him, ignore him and move on...cut all contact, he will dump that trick in a hot second.

I really have learned a lot from these boards....my boss is a cancer and I thought he was a fairly smart man who had all his _hit together....but he has recently gone back to his old relationship...its funny he said it was a toxic relationship and that all his ex wanted was his money...why do these men go back to stuff like that....he even got full custody of his child...

Will they ever learn?
NO, the only way U make him learn if U R triple dsyfunctional then she is. I mean U have 2 do him in. Or find out how he does people, and mirror the same treatment he does 2 other and do him triple times the amount of damage. He is an intensity junkie!

men don't value women that do EVERTHING for him....you are taking over his JOB, its his job to GIVE and PURSUE...if you do all this for him...make everything easy, he will RESENT YOU and TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED....you are emasculating him and this is part of the reason why he is ANGRY...NO ONE MAKES HIM BE A MAN...HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO BE because everyone is saying...awwwww he's so cute, give him a car, give a kiss, give him money, give him something to appease him and make him temporarily happy....NO NO NO you have to be a real woman and say...NO...you can't have this in this way...you have to work to get this or you can go on.

Do you hear me? Stop helping him be a dope...stop helping be an intensity junky...getting his high off of HURTING YOU...yes I said it...he's BORED, he wants to be challenged and the best way you can challenge him is by shutting him out until he gets his shit together.

if you don't allow the man to be the giver...to be the pursuer then you will never know how much he wants you, how much he values you and you have no power in the relationship...NONE!....relationships last 10x's longer when the man is in pursuit...in your case ILC...yes he pursues but your right there being TOO NICE, WHY? He hasn't earned it and thats why he runs off, he doesn't VALUE YOU, you say your worth more but he treats you like a happy meal snack...which means your sending out the wrong messages to him...you should be treating him nice in a bitchy kind of way, never giving in to him, not allowing him to touch you for the exception of when you want it...you have to teach him his behavior isn't acceptable...pick this up girls b/c I will be hiding these comments LOL!!

you can't be nice to an intensity junky...you either mirror the dysfunction...be 10xs more dysfunctional than the last girlfriend or GET OUT!! The man will bore and tire quickly and start seeking out a woman that can match his dysfunction/BS.....stop finding unhealthy men, taking pity on them and then try to fix him...he can fix himself...you either find a way to deal with him or leave him ALONE.

Yeah, I told U so, the ONLY way 2 get him attracted 2 U, is if U do triple 10 X the damage he does 2 U. I know it sounds sick. But, someone has 2 B stable here, if not then walk. Cancer men trust stable women. He trust U, and he knows U R not going anywhere. So, Y not try it out with her, when he knows U R sitting their waiting on him. Y bother buried treasure. Leave him and put competition 2 his arse.

if you don't allow the man to be the giver...to be the pursuer then you will never know how much he wants you, how much he values you and you have no power in the relationship...NONE!....relationships last 10x's longer when the man is in pursuit...in your case ILC...yes he pursues but your right there being TOO NICE, WHY? He hasn't earned it and thats why he runs off, he doesn't VALUE YOU, you say your worth more but he treats you like a happy meal snack...which means your sending out the wrong messages to him...you should be treating him nice in a cookiemonstery kind of way, never giving in to him, not allowing him to touch you for the exception of when you want it...you have to teach him his behavior isn't acceptable...pick this up girls b/c I will be hiding these comments LOL!!

NO MAN WANTS A DOG LOWER THAN HIMSELF! IF U R A DOG IN A NICE SPLIT HIS WIG WAY, he will VALUE YOUR DIRTY DRAWLS! In his eyes, U will do NO wrong!

remember ladies men value what they work hard for...read books on how men think and what they hear when a woman speaks...you better start understanding both sides of the fence or your always going to be left behind...be careful about what you say to a man because alot of what a woman does (her actions) BREEDS desperation without her even knowing it...pick up pick up pick up or your going to be left behind.

If you know your man is being a dog this is time to understand how to get into his ass and it can be done but its a method to it....it has nothing to do with hurting him or playing horrible head games but it has everything to do with YOU, if your emotionally ready to turn up the heat and you will have to put your game face on.

I'm telling you its a way around his games...the ignoring, the not calling, the cold shoulder one day and love you the next but it will have everything to do with YOU and how you deal with it that will determine success.

Signals (subtle undertones)(energy behind the actions)this what a man senses and all this is constantly being fed to a man...words are for women not men and they simply don't get it with words....if your always calling, always returning every little text, always being availbable to hang out, sending long ass emails this will put you in the back seat and you will always be scraping and taking seconds....because this breeds that you have no life, your too available which must make you undesirable and no man wants a NOBODY...so he simply starts to take the woman for granted because its the natural next step.

Ok so I told him until he can leave this chick alone and prove to me that he is not talking to her. And put in the amount of work that needs to be put in to keep me then I cannot be with him. I told him I am worthy of that. Guess what? he says "well i guess u r going to have to do what u have to do because I don't know I can do to prove to u that I am not seeing or talking to her". He lied countless amount of times before and he was talking to her. He just recently got a ticket last week in front of her house and he's not seeing her. So he gets upset, so I told him, I would love this relationship to work but since he's not willing to do what I asked then that's it. He got upset and hung up on me, now does that sound like a man whose not seeing his ex.?

I understand what everyone is saying but it just seems like a no win situation....your nice your screwed....you ignore him you are screwed....

How do you know if you are making progress?