Please help!! Cancer man turning cold and distant

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by ariesgirl88 on Thursday, September 7, 2017 and has 91 replies.
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
I have started to date this cancer man a month ago and he was so enthusiastic and affectionate. He met me almost on a daily basis (cancer likes to cling) and he even already brought me to meet his friends and family just during the first few dates. However everything suddenly started to change.

The 2nd week onward, he was obviously not as enthusiastic, he started to text lesser and his replies were usually 1 liner or of low energy.Example when I asked him about his day, he would merely reply with a - busy. - tired. I am an Aries girl and I tried to be positive and cheerful in my responses but I found it really hard to sustain that enthusiasm when he doesn't seem interested to chat.

I reflected upon myself and I thought perhaps I didn't reciprocate and show enough affection (I was a little taken aback by his enthusiasm the first week ) therefore he started to retreat ( what a cancer man will do when they don't feel reciprocate ) hence I started to take the initiative to text him and I even asked him out for drinks that week. When we met up that week, it was great! However when we don't meet, he just behaved very differently. I would take the initiative to let him know I miss him, in which he will reply "miss you too" that's about it. Even when he did ask me out for in the 3rd week, he asked me along for a drinks with him and his friends. (not a 1-1 date) I really do appreciate that he asked me out with his friends but I would prefer a 1-1 date so i can know him better on a deeper level (considering he doesn't really text me)

All my friends said I have shown too much affection and it seems like I am chasing him now hence he started to lose interest for me (all guys love the chase). And they commented I am too easily available for him cos when he finally asked me out, I simply agreed. ( But that's cause he only asked me out once a week now Sad )

So I have stopped initiating to text him since about 2 weeks ago. He actually sensed that I was unhappy (cancer man is intuitive) and he explained that he has been really busy hence absent. However nothing much has changed! He asked me along for another drinking session with him and his friends (he continued to introduce me to new friend) and I finally mustered the courage to let him know what was bothering me. I asked if he was really that busy and that he couldn't even text me a good day or good night and that I told him i am interested to know him better as a person but the lack of communication is not helping. However after that conversation, he is still pretty much the same. Sad

Now he would text me every other 2 or 3 days late in the night, telling me he had a really hectic day and he misses me. (he doesn't ask me about my days at all.) However as he texted me so late in the night, I was already asleep and I couldn't reply. And when I do reply him the next day, we would either just exchange a few texts and then stop or he wouldn't reply.

He said he misses me, but its all just words. He still doesn't meet me too. I am so sad, but I don't know what esle to do or to say. So much so that, sometimes I don't even know what to reply anymore. But yet I feel that from the fact that he still text me , it also means I am at the back of his mind, right?

I am so confused by him because i thought he should be serious in pursuing this otherwise he wouldn't introduce me to his friends and family. When we do meet up, the chemistry was amazing. Though he says he misses me, but yet his action speaks otherwise.

I know dating a cancerian especially in the beginning is not easy, I have done so much read up. But how do I differentiate if he is simply retreating into his shell, testing me, taking his time to assess if I am the one OR that he has simply loses his interest. Should I wait it out? And what should I do during this time?

I am a sun in Aries, moon in Leo, Venus in Taurus and Ascendant in Cancer. I don't think I am a typical Aries, I craved for stability and security in love and I am more than willing to give up my freedom in exchange for that, this is why I think the cancer male and I will really get along. We will be able to offer the stability and security what one another yearn for. However being a ascendant in cancer is making me really paranoid now too. The fact that the cancer male is giving me a cold shoulder, makes me want to retreat from being further hurt.

I am very much attracted to this cancer man, and I haven't feel this kind of strong attraction for a long time. I really want him to want me but I know attraction cant be forced. What should I do? I would greatly appreciate some advice. Thank you guys so much for helping!!
details
Mine did the same. Live you own life and dont make him your priority until you will be in a more committed arrangement. Let him mostly initiate, but be affectionate, not resentful. I think these men need lost of time to adapt/trust, mine told me so.

Do things that bring you positive energy and be strong/happy.
details
@eglantine really? so how long did your cancer man takes to be their old self again? Will they ever be that affectionate and enthusiastic again? Based on your experience, do you think mine is retreating or simply uninterested? Thank you so much!
details
When is his birthday?
details
I think a lot of men do this, not just cancer men. You should go about your life and try not to let it effect you. Easier said then done but if you chase him then you are letting him know that you are more invested in the relationship then he is.
details
@sagibaby

Hi I am new to this and I am unsure how to reply back to your message. Am I doing it right?

His birthday is 24th June
details
@missM

I know right. But with other guys I think they usually only act like this when they areally starting to lose interest.

And I understand that for cancer male, it can be a little different. It could be cause they simply need time to open up.

Therefore currently I am confused, I am unsure which one is it and how should I go on going forward.

Even the way I text him. Should I still show concern when he does text me? (Cos I have stopped initiating texts). When he said he misses me, should I response accordingly?

Or should I be more nonchalant so he will realised the needs to step forward if he really cares.
details
Posted by ariesgirl88
@missM

I know right. But with other guys I think they usually only act like this when they areally starting to lose interest.

And I understand that for cancer male, it can be a little different. It could be cause they simply need time to open up.

Therefore currently I am confused, I am unsure which one is it and how should I go on going forward.

Even the way I text him. Should I still show concern when he does text me? (Cos I have stopped initiating texts). When he said he misses me, should I response accordingly?

Or should I be more nonchalant so he will realised the needs to step forward if he really cares.
I think no matter which one it is your actions should be the same aka stay friendly and receptive but do not chase him.
details
@missM

Hi. Sorry as I am new to this I am unsure how to reply like the way you do.

You know I hope to let him know that I am not okay with him only talking to me as and when he feels like it. But I am unsure of how to go about doing this. Because I feel that currently I am in no position to be upset. Hence that's the reason why I didn't initiate as well.

But If continue to stay friendly and be receptive towards him.when he text, would he think that it's totally fine for him.to continue such being like that and therfore isn't a need for him to chase me?
details
Posted by ariesgirl88
@missM

Hi. Sorry as I am new to this I am unsure how to reply like the way you do.

You know I hope to let him know that I am not okay with him only talking to me as and when he feels like it. But I am unsure of how to go about doing this. Because I feel that currently I am in no position to be upset. Hence that's the reason why I didn't initiate as well.

But If continue to stay friendly and be receptive towards him.when he text, would he think that it's totally fine for him.to continue such being like that and therfore isn't a need for him to chase me?
I would be receptive but i would take longer than usual to reply so he wonders what you are doing ect. Realizes you have other options and a life. Why do you not feel like you can say something? Because its not official and you don't want to scare him off?

details
@missM

Ur right. It's not official. So I think I don't have a right to be.and I don't want appear that I am clingy or needy. I thought that may backfire.

Sure. I will try to take longer time to reply him. Though we already dont text regularly. He only text every other 2 or 3 days.
details
Ariesgirl, we were in a long distant relationship, but there were also other people in the picture, so the situation was more complicated on his side. When I left (we met a second time) he kept the contact going, then after holidays he was very reluctant to contact me and I initiated more. Then I realised I cant live like this (feeling needy) and I ended it with him.

I regret it now and I hope he will contact me again (a week has passed).

If I could change anything I would cancel the "breakup" and just be in casual contact with him (letting him mostly initiate) while living my life and even dating other guys. Good energy on your side is what draws them closer, they are very intuitive. If you two are not committed, you are still in the dating (selection) process and putting pressure on him doesnt bring him closer... he will only chose you if he receives good energy from you (feeds his desire to see you). If it doesnt bring him closer, his loss.
details
@eglantine

When I am really interested in a guy, I wouldn't be able to talk and date other guys concurrently. I find it hard to multi task and share my attention, affection.

Which is why I am actually feeling so frustrated actually. Because I have stopped talking to other "potential" guys cause I chose to pursue this with the cancer guy. ( of course cancer guy is unawared of the existence of the other guys) Yet, he suddenly changed. I just feel that my effort is not reciprocated and it seems very much 1 sided on my part.( I feel that I kinda got misled into thinking that he is serious thus I am as well).

Sigh.

I am trying to be positive but the uncertainty is killing me. I am not sure how to text him, and even if he ask to meet, I don't even know how should I behave anymore. Usually when we meet, he always gets affectionate. He will even openly hug me and all in front of the sister.( why did he do that if he is not serious?)

But it has been 2 weeks since I last met him. I am thinking of him everyday and getting upset cos he doesn't ask me out. But i will not initiate. It's so agnosing.

details
@CaramelizedCoffee

This is not the only thing he did that makes me think he might be serious. Like he introduced me to his family and friends and he would get close to me in front of them and act like as if we were a couple..

Maybe this is not a norm for me thus I am reading more to it. Because I wouldn't bring a guy to meet my friend if I am uncertain, less alone, behaving intimately in front of my friends.

But in any case, thank you guys so much for the advices. I guess it is just apparent that he is not that interested/attracted to me. Though I am really sincere and wish to know him better as an individual but I do understand that attraction can't be forced.

I think I have done enough to express my interest and I doubt there is anything more that I can/should do.

So I guess the best thing for me to do is to take a step back to prevent myself from further disappointment. :/

And I will learn to be less gullible, naive and not be "blinded" by the initial chase because only time can tells whether a person is really sincere/serious.

Once again, thanks guys.
details
Posted by ariesgirl88
I have started to date this cancer man a month ago and he was so enthusiastic and affectionate. He met me almost on a daily basis (cancer likes to cling) and he even already brought me to meet his friends and family just during the first few dates. However everything suddenly started to change.

The 2nd week onward, he was obviously not as enthusiastic, he started to text lesser and his replies were usually 1 liner or of low energy.Example when I asked him about his day, he would merely reply with a - busy. - tired. I am an Aries girl and I tried to be positive and cheerful in my responses but I found it really hard to sustain that enthusiasm when he doesn't seem interested to chat.

I reflected upon myself and I thought perhaps I didn't reciprocate and show enough affection (I was a little taken aback by his enthusiasm the first week ) therefore he started to retreat ( what a cancer man will do when they don't feel reciprocate ) hence I started to take the initiative to text him and I even asked him out for drinks that week. When we met up that week, it was great! However when we don't meet, he just behaved very differently. I would take the initiative to let him know I miss him, in which he will reply "miss you too" that's about it. Even when he did ask me out for in the 3rd week, he asked me along for a drinks with him and his friends. (not a 1-1 date) I really do appreciate that he asked me out with his friends but I would prefer a 1-1 date so i can know him better on a deeper level (considering he doesn't really text me)

All my friends said I have shown too much affection and it seems like I am chasing him now hence he started to lose interest for me (all guys love the chase). And they commented I am too easily available for him cos when he finally asked me out, I simply agreed. ( But that's cause he only asked me out once a week now Sad )

So I have stopped initiating to text him since about 2 weeks ago. He actually sensed that I was unhappy (cancer man is intuitive) and he explained that he has been really busy hence absent. However nothing much has changed! He asked me along for another drinking session with him and his friends (he continued to introduce me to new friend) and I finally mustered the courage to let him know what was bothering me. I asked if he was really that busy and that he couldn't even text me a good day or good night and that I told him i am interested to know him better as a person but the lack of communication is not helping. However after that conversation, he is still pretty much the same. Sad

Now he would text me every other 2 or 3 days late in the night, telling me he had a really hectic day and he misses me. (he doesn't ask me about my days at all.) However as he texted me so late in the night, I was already asleep and I couldn't reply. And when I do reply him the next day, we would either just exchange a few texts and then stop or he wouldn't reply.

He said he misses me, but its all just words. He still doesn't meet me too. I am so sad, but I don't know what esle to do or to say. So much so that, sometimes I don't even know what to reply anymore. But yet I feel that from the fact that he still text me , it also means I am at the back of his mind, right?

I am so confused by him because i thought he should be serious in pursuing this otherwise he wouldn't introduce me to his friends and family. When we do meet up, the chemistry was amazing. Though he says he misses me, but yet his action speaks otherwise.

I know dating a cancerian especially in the beginning is not easy, I have done so much read up. But how do I differentiate if he is simply retreating into his shell, testing me, taking his time to assess if I am the one OR that he has simply loses his interest. Should I wait it out? And what should I do during this time?

I am a sun in Aries, moon in Leo, Venus in Taurus and Ascendant in Cancer. I don't think I am a typical Aries, I craved for stability and security in love and I am more than willing to give up my freedom in exchange for that, this is why I think the cancer male and I will really get along. We will be able to offer the stability and security what one another yearn for. However being a ascendant in cancer is making me really paranoid now too. The fact that the cancer male is giving me a cold shoulder, makes me want to retreat from being further hurt.

I am very much attracted to this cancer man, and I haven't feel this kind of strong attraction for a long time. I really want him to want me but I know attraction cant be forced. What should I do? I would greatly appreciate some advice. Thank you guys so much for helping!!


I can very much relate to your post as every situation you have said has happened to me during my relationship with a cancer guy. He was enthusiastic and excited to be with me in the first few weeks of knowing each other. He initiates communication, and dates. But in the long run, when I have already fallen for him, his eagerness was gone all of a sudden. Maybe because he sensed that I am in love with him already that's why he hasn't exerted any effort anymore since I have fallen into his trap. He also texts me that he misses me, yet he doesn't do anything to meet me or even ask me out (like before). complacent. I have also met his friends and family already so it just gave me false hopes that he loves me back too. We're not a couple since he said he's not ready for a commitment but whenever we go out, we act like couple (holding hands, hug, kiss on the cheeks).

My only advice is that stay away from this guy before it hits you hard. I thought that the more effort I exert for him, the more affection or love he will show. But I was wrong. It just made him too complacent. Well, I think this guy likes you though, but not as much as you like him. He's interested in you, but he is not that into you. Stop chasing him. Just don't communicate with him at all. Don't block him on social media if ever. Show him that you're happy even without him; that life still goes on. If he doesn't come to chase you (initiating texts and dates), then you already know where you stand.
details
I was just going through the same experience you were but with a Cancerian lady. I drove 8 hours to see her, and the first night was great and the next two days I was there she was really cold towards me. She continued being cold towards me, but still lurks on my social media. I do initiate some of our conversations but I've stopped because I refuse to be in the position where I have to question where I stand with someone because I don't deserve that.

I've sent her flowers, and told her that I am thinking about her and told her that I liked her. Since then I just left it at that. The feelings fizzled as quickly as they started, I am patient and understanding but never at the cost of my own feelings.
details
@ bebeirishh

Hi thank you for your message. Is it weird for me to say that I am comforted to know there are others who actually understand my current plight because they have been through similar cm encounter before?

His change in behavior is quite hurtful to be honest. Me being an Aries have always been very affectionate, direct and consistent with my emotions. And I would never do this push pull and hot cold treatment to someone I truly care about.

It really just seems like I am / we are at their (cancer male) disposal when all we have done was to be at our best. And this feeling really really sucks.

I was so bothered the past few weeks and after talking to so many people I guess I finally really understand the whole situation. (I was too stubbon/blinded to listen earlier on)


I have stopped initiating and only responded to his msg when he text me which is what @missM has advised me to. I have taken longer to reply him and have stopped displaying as much enthusiasm in my replies because I want him to know that I am not all that head over heels over him (though my friends say my msg is still friendly and nice).

I thought by doing all that he might noticed a change in my behaviour (which I believe he should because isn't cancer supposed to be intuitive and sensitive?) and he might start chasing. But no. He still didn't.

I know we are dating but I dont know if we are exclusive. I don't need him to commit to me right away because honestly I don't know him well enough as an individual to commit to him too. But to me, if I am really serious in dating him I wouldn't date others at the same time. ( it simply doesn't work for me, I can't share my affection).

And judging from the current situation, I wouldn't be surprised if he really is dating other peopLe as well during all these time when he told me he was busy with work. He might just be hanging out with other girls. Maybe he wants to keep me around before he comes to a conclusion.

Whatever reason it is, I think this is not leading to anywhere. I hate such competition. And if he has to doubt if I am the one then perhaps I am really not enough for him by his standard. I just don't want to do this 1 sided thing anymore. Its very hurtful and I don't wish to doubt my self worth over someone like that. I think I deserve more than this.

So going forward, if he decides to chase, it will be good for me ( cause deep down I am still interested in him), but if he doesn't, it's okay too. To each his own. And everything happens for a reason. At least I have put my best foot forward, so no regret.

Stay strong too! ♡


details
@miniature_asian

Hi! These cancerians are so confusing and complicated to understand.

I am an Aries sun with cancer ascendant and I thought perhaps by sending flower to her might be a little overwhelming for her. Because it will be, for me. I like to take my time to know someone to reassure of my own feelings for them. So by sending flower, it might seem as if she has to accept you and jump into it right away. That's just my own opinion though cause I think obviously I function and think differently from them. I will not just disappear into the thin air like they do.

The only time I did that was when I am not into you and I didn't know how to tell you.

details
Posted by ariesgirl88
@ bebeirishh

Hi thank you for your message. Is it weird for me to say that I am comforted to know there are others who actually understand my current plight because they have been through similar cm encounter before?

His change in behavior is quite hurtful to be honest. Me being an Aries have always been very affectionate, direct and consistent with my emotions. And I would never do this push pull and hot cold treatment to someone I truly care about.

It really just seems like I am / we are at their (cancer male) disposal when all we have done was to be at our best. And this feeling really really sucks.

I was so bothered the past few weeks and after talking to so many people I guess I finally really understand the whole situation. (I was too stubbon/blinded to listen earlier on)


I have stopped initiating and only responded to his msg when he text me which is what @missM has advised me to. I have taken longer to reply him and have stopped displaying as much enthusiasm in my replies because I want him to know that I am not all that head over heels over him (though my friends say my msg is still friendly and nice).

I thought by doing all that he might noticed a change in my behaviour (which I believe he should because isn't cancer supposed to be intuitive and sensitive?) and he might start chasing. But no. He still didn't.

I know we are dating but I dont know if we are exclusive. I don't need him to commit to me right away because honestly I don't know him well enough as an individual to commit to him too. But to me, if I am really serious in dating him I wouldn't date others at the same time. ( it simply doesn't work for me, I can't share my affection).

And judging from the current situation, I wouldn't be surprised if he really is dating other peopLe as well during all these time when he told me he was busy with work. He might just be hanging out with other girls. Maybe he wants to keep me around before he comes to a conclusion.

Whatever reason it is, I think this is not leading to anywhere. I hate such competition. And if he has to doubt if I am the one then perhaps I am really not enough for him by his standard. I just don't want to do this 1 sided thing anymore. Its very hurtful and I don't wish to doubt my self worth over someone like that. I think I deserve more than this.

So going forward, if he decides to chase, it will be good for me ( cause deep down I am still interested in him), but if he doesn't, it's okay too. To each his own. And everything happens for a reason. At least I have put my best foot forward, so no regret.

Stay strong too! ♡


I think you have a good mindset and your right if someone doesn't want to be with you are realize how great you are it really is their loss. Try not to let it get to you. Plenty more men out there.
details
@MissM

Thank you for your advices and encouragement.

I will try not to let it CONTINUE get to me because it already did.

I didn't think I am usually a sensitive/ paranoid/ insecure person and I really hate this side of me. And this usually only surface in love, when I am dating someone new. ( maybe my cancer ascendant is affecting me)

I am usually independent, optimistic and rarely get moody when I am on my own. And all this leads me to think why do I put/allow myself into such situation.

Oh well.
details
Posted by ariesgirl88
@MissM

Thank you for your advices and encouragement.

I will try not to let it CONTINUE get to me because it already did.

I didn't think I am usually a sensitive/ paranoid/ insecure person and I really hate this side of me. And this usually only surface in love, when I am dating someone new. ( maybe my cancer ascendant is affecting me)

I am usually independent, optimistic and rarely get moody when I am on my own. And all this leads me to think why do I put/allow myself into such situation.

Oh well.
Don't worry I am the same way. In every day life I am so independent and self assured its just when dating these men who play with our feelings doing the hot and cold and it makes us doubt our self worth but we shouldn't we are worth more smile
details
@missM

Thanks dear. I am trying to put on a strong front and do all the "right" thing I am supposed to do, such as do not cling, do not appear to be needy, living my life as per normal (happily) and made him realised what he has loss. But deep down I am missing him like crazyyyyyyyyy. Sad

We are not even in a relationship, why does it almost feels like I haven't fallen out of one? I am really hoping with time, this will get better.
details
Hi guys, its me again.

So I have stopped replying cancer male on Monday because I was upset that he doesn't ask me out and he might stop replying if I reply him.

So fast forward to last night, while I was sound asleep at 2am, I suddenly received a call from him! I didn't manage to pick up his phone in time, so we started to exchange text for a bit thereafter. Basically he told me that he has worked 20 hours for both yesterday and the day before. I didn't really respond much to that msg , unlike the usual me whereby I will ask more about his day and asked him to hang in there. ( I think I sounded cold), he apologise for waking me up, I replied with a "its okay" and then I stopped replying. He continued to apologise and 40 minutes after his last apology, he texted me with "see me soon please" "miss you".

Is he waiting for me to ask him out?

what should I reply?

The "see me soon please" to me sounded like I was the one who didn't want to see him but in actual fact, he is the busy one, not making time for me. I always believe in prioritizing and everything is about choices.

I noticed that he always text me at ungodly hours between 2am-4am and usually it is because he has a hectic day at work. Is he trying to seek comfort from me? Does he only thinks of me when he has a rough day, and I am forgotten when things are all rosy.

By the way his placement is as follow.

Sun- cancer

Moon- Virgo

Venus- Taurus

Mercury- Cancer

Mars- Cancer

While my placement is as follow.

Sun- Aries

Moon- Leo

Venus- Taurus

Mercury- Pisces

Mars- Capricorn

Are we compatible?
details
So I have replied him and asked him to let me know when he is more available so we can arrange again. He asked to meet tonight but I already have plan. So I turned him down with a reply "tonight I am not free. sorry about it" (I didn't cancel my plan to meet him), and he replied with a "ok. nevermind then".

I know that cancer males are know to be fearful of rejection so I have this conflicting thoughts that if am indirectly "pushing" him away. But I also think I shouldn't cancel my plan for him and if he really misses me and want to meet me, he would ask again.

"Guys like what they can't get" and "guys like girls who remain abit mysterious". Do all these apply to cancer male as well?

details
I always enjoy a post by aries women. ?

Lol

It diffiicult to tell whats on his mind but i have been through this and iv lost the girl... No girl waits for the guy... thats ridiculous

details
So I found out he went out on a date with another girl on Sunday. Brought her to the same restaurant as the one be brought me to. And even hung out at the same bar he brought me to.

I was so hurt and mad.

All these times he said he has been busy with work which I tried my best to put myself in his shoes and understand though I really don't. Because I will never neglect someone I care because of work. But nevertheless, please believe me when I said I am trying to. That's why I joined this forum to find out more as I thought the way he was treating me might be due to his horoscope.

I was still pinning hope that he will step up but now I feel like a fool.

Maybe I am conservative. But when I expressed my interest with him in knowing him better as an individual, I really meant it and I tried to be as sincere as I can be and I made this exclusive with him. But it was kinda sad to know that apparently we werent on the same page.

And guess what? He actually texted me after his date out with that girl on that same night (again at wee hours 3am). And I couldn't held back and I revealed I knew about the dinner date. Told him we could continue to be friend.

He turned the table around and said I was the one who refused to.meet him ( he didn't even asked me to except that Friday after alost 3 weeks). And the last time when we met. I was the one who.went over to his place, he didn't send me home and didn't even bother to text me to.find out if I got home by myself. He still expect me to stick to him like a leech?

He denied seeing other girls and said he didn't have the intention to and now he made me look like the person who didn't want to date him anymore. I am so confuse by this cancer man.

How can someone be so manipulative. His actions and his words do not tally at all.

All the missing you with no meet up. Missing you with him meeting other girls.

Are all cancer men so deep and scheming?

Everybody tells me, he is not sincere and not proactive in taking my relationship with him to another level. But now I feel so bad because he made me feel that I was the one who didn't want to see him anymore.

He is literally mind fucking me and me being so direct and put my emotions on my sleeves feel that I am no match for him.
details
Let them go

that's the trick. Don't cling at all

and if he doesn't want you more. That cancer... at that moment in time, doesn't care about you all that much
details
Hi guys.

I was so mad after the last episode ( knowing he has gone out with other girl, when he didn't even make time for me) and I was already ready to let go. I ignored him for a week but he texted me and we eventually meet up to clear things up.

He told me he still wants to see me and eventually we we patched things up. We haven't really explicitly talk about how we feel towards each other before though we already got intimate. So i finally mustered the courage to ask if he likes me and he admitted that he likes me a lot. (I need to know what I mean to him). And though I didn't say it myself but I got rather emotional that night and I guess he could tell how I feel towards him too. He was being really sweet, patience and assured me that Its okay for me to share with him what's on my mind and that's all about communication.

After struggling how to express how i feel, i have briefly told him about how I want to see him more and hear from him more. (When i said Briefly cause I found it really hard to "demand"for anything when we are not officially in a relationship). I realised I always have difficulty expressing my unhappiness because I don't want to come across as confrontative.

So we patched up that night. We kissed and cuddled for such a long time. It was so intensed tha though I didn't want to get intimate, but we eventually did again.

Things did get better for a few days. He met up with me right away after he came back from overseas. He fell ill and I took the initiative to get him medications and took care of him, though my friend advised me not to show so much affection as they feel the reason why he came bk was because he sensed I was slipping away and he was trying to get me back. (How all guys like to chase) But I still did it anyway since that's the real me, and how I usually am towards people I cared about.( my friends said I am nurturing and like to take care of peopLe around me)and I reckon this cancer guy should like me for who I am.


However it's been a week since I last met up and he haven't ask me out again.

He is texting a little more regular now but sometimes cold in his reply. He would initiate a conversation. But when I replied him, he stopped. So I found myself getting happy and angry all in the same day and same time.

I really like him, but I am starting to think maybe we are really incompatible. Our love language seems to be quite different. I love touch, time and words. I used to think maybe I am no longer a words person but after seeing this cancer guy I realised I need constant communication and affection. Sigh. With that said, I still really want to learn more about this water sign though. My 2 exes are all fire sign (saggI and aries), i have never dated a water sign before and I don't know what to expect at all.

May I know whats the love language for most cancer guys? And do you guys think that the cancer man will appreciate me to offer at of service like buying him medication and take care of him?

details
Ahhh... sounds just like my story with my ex cancer bf.. (i'm saggi anyway)

All i can tell you is.. it was a roller coaster ride with him for 3 years and i was thinking to go to a therapist towards the end..

One minute he's all over you, next minute you found out he's chatting with other girls

One minute he's making plans with you, and then he cancelled it last minute

One minute he texts you all the time, next minute he didn't even reply you for days

these are signs on uninterested.. only we fire signs are good to lie to ourselves and think positive (stupid really), we chose not to see the red flags and ignores all the obvious facts.

One day before my ex-bf went on a business trip, and he asked to see me. so I happily met with him only to find out he brought bunch of condoms in his travel bag, and i didn't even have the courage to ask him why. And then I chose to convince myself nothing happened.

long story short, I knew in my heart he's not serious, but i want to see if i can change him.

but no, it's not gonna happen. If he likes you, he would never left you hanging or made you wonder

The truth is, try to open your eyes and see it through. You'll realize he's not worth of your time. Winking
details
Met up with my cancer man on Sunday while I was feeling sick. I had to leave his place on my own on a Monday morning as he was in a rush. But despite knowing i was sick he didn't even bother to check if I reach home safely or if I am feeling okay.

No contact at all since Monday.

I cared for him the week before when he was ill. Bought honey and medicine for him. Offered to acc him to see a doc if he wants to. I don't even need him to do that for me. But just a text to show that I am on his mind and he actually remembers that I am feeling under the weather. But it seems like I am the only one who bothers to rem the details. Speaking of being sensitive, I don't see him displaying any now.

I am feeling miserable both physically and emotionally and this doesn't feel right. All his actions are making me insecure and retreating (cancer ascendant). The more I don't feel that I should initiate and show care.

I thought I finally have some assurance from him that he likes me. But I guess words are cheap. It's all lips service. What's the point of merely saying it and not living up to it.

I am so hurt.

details
Your'e an Aries? How would fire, impatient and moody be possibly able to take the time to understand a deep water sign like Cancer? Cancer men are emotionally deep, need to feel loved, want to be at home. How did you even meet a Cancer man? Was the ocean on fire?
details
Posted by CanerJason
Your'e an Aries? How would fire, impatient and moody be possibly able to take the time to understand a deep water sign like Cancer? Cancer men are emotionally deep, need to feel loved, want to be at home. How did you even meet a Cancer man? Was the ocean on fire?
I am a sun in Aries. Moon in Leo. Venus in Taurus. Mars in capricorn. Mercury in Pisces and ascendant in cancer. I don't think I am a typical Aries, definitely not as domineering and risk taking. I am homely too. Value stability and I also need to feel love.

It's been 2 months dating my cancer man. But I feel that I am losing it.I dont know how else to advance anymore. I am trying my best to get to know him but I don't know how. Every time when I intiate and be nice, he becomes cold which makes me feel sad and I feel that perhaps I shouldnt have done that. My ego feels bruised (maybe my moon Leo is affecting). Sigh.

Yet. My conflict avoidance nature is preventing me from trashing things with him. I just don't know how to start the topic. It's like. I feel I don't have a right to. I don't know if I am being too clingy or paranoid or am I expectating too much.

And our conversation always goes back and forth between who should message more. He said he is busy and so he didnt text and claimed I can. I don't know. Most of my friends who have seen our texts are abled to tell that I am showing more care and enthusiasm while texting. But I just can't do this alone. It has to be reciprocated.

With that said it's so sad to say that currently at this stage, I know I feel more deeply for him. I want him to want me, but I have no idea how esle I can do that. I don't want him to think that I am.desperate and definitely doesn't want him to take me for granted. So I can only act like I am totally cool with him not texting.
details
Posted by CanerJason
Your'e an Aries? How would fire, impatient and moody be possibly able to take the time to understand a deep water sign like Cancer? Cancer men are emotionally deep, need to feel loved, want to be at home. How did you even meet a Cancer man? Was the ocean on fire?
Since ur a cancer too, what do you suggest?

The last time when I found out he went out with another girl and I was mad at him. (I don't usually get mad) he said he is not seeing other ppl and that's not a date and that he wants to continue seeing me. I did told him that I would like more communication cause that's how I can get to know him but sometimes when I initated he is cold.(I know cancers are moody and need space) so I will just let him be. Am I supposed to prob and ask question like " what's wrong? Are you okay?"and then after I leave him alone he can don't text me for few days (this is something I am still trying to get used to). Actually I don't need alot of text everyday. It can be a few here and there or even just in the night to just let me know I am not forgotten. Is this too much to ask for from a cancer guy?

I myself need a lot of time, assurance and security before I open up. I don't fall in love fast. And I rather be alone ( can be indepdent due to my aries sun) then to do casual hook up. I need guys to lead me in love. Is cancer capable of doing that? Or must I do the chasing?

My last relationship ended because I was too nice to my ex and he took me for granted and eventually got bored of me. It took 2 years for me to feel ready to date again. That's how deeply I can feel in love too. So I am trying my best not to repeat the same mistake, of over compensating, and losing myself.



details
The very first post from a month ago, made me die laughing, and then the subsequent posts after as well. You literally post and then quote things about Cancer men as if you know them, and you really don't. lol
details
Posted by oneday
Posted by nikkistar
The very first post from a month ago, made me die laughing, and then the subsequent posts after as well. You literally post and then quote things about Cancer men as if you know them, and you really don't. lol
Don't be such an asshole, she's trying to figure this out and she clearly cares for the guy.

click to expand
Do you even know who the fuck I am? Not being an asshole, is not in my vocabulary.

Let me be more blunt here, cause I can laugh even more. You don't do nice things for people, and expect anything in return, she does. Every assumption she has stated about men, and Cancer traits sounds immature and juvenile. It's this goofy ass shit, that girls don't understand, and I'm not gonna sit here and say "aww poor girl".
details
You're still a fire sign though, dear. Fire will never understand water - the combination is always steam (anger, frustration, ect). You're a fire sign - looking for that next advancement is your thing. Cancer is a water sign, deep water, like the ocean. We like to be still and just flow - until we get riled, then you will see a sea storm like no other. The differences may just be too much for you two to ever understand one another.

Posted by ariesgirl88
Posted by CanerJason
Your'e an Aries? How would fire, impatient and moody be possibly able to take the time to understand a deep water sign like Cancer? Cancer men are emotionally deep, need to feel loved, want to be at home. How did you even meet a Cancer man? Was the ocean on fire?
I am a sun in Aries. Moon in Leo. Venus in Taurus. Mars in capricorn. Mercury in Pisces and ascendant in cancer. I don't think I am a typical Aries, definitely not as domineering and risk taking. I am homely too. Value stability and I also need to feel love.

It's been 2 months dating my cancer man. But I feel that I am losing it.I dont know how else to advance anymore. I am trying my best to get to know him but I don't know how. Every time when I intiate and be nice, he becomes cold which makes me feel sad and I feel that perhaps I shouldnt have done that. My ego feels bruised (maybe my moon Leo is affecting). Sigh.

Yet. My conflict avoidance nature is preventing me from trashing things with him. I just don't know how to start the topic. It's like. I feel I don't have a right to. I don't know if I am being too clingy or paranoid or am I expectating too much.

And our conversation always goes back and forth between who should message more. He said he is busy and so he didnt text and claimed I can. I don't know. Most of my friends who have seen our texts are abled to tell that I am showing more care and enthusiasm while texting. But I just can't do this alone. It has to be reciprocated.

With that said it's so sad to say that currently at this stage, I know I feel more deeply for him. I want him to want me, but I have no idea how esle I can do that. I don't want him to think that I am.desperate and definitely doesn't want him to take me for granted. So I can only act like I am totally cool with him not texting.
click to expand
details
You showed too much interest. Fall all the way back. Learn from this. Don’t initiate and don’t ask a man out l. You’re the prize, you have to act like it.
details
Posted by CanerJason
Your'e an Aries? How would fire, impatient and moody be possibly able to take the time to understand a deep water sign like Cancer? Cancer men are emotionally deep, need to feel loved, want to be at home. How did you even meet a Cancer man? Was the ocean on fire?
Oh please. Nothing about what he’s done is deep. Anyone can be deep or shallow, it has morning to do with his sun sign. This guy is a jerk.
details
Posted by nikkistar
The very first post from a month ago, made me die laughing, and then the subsequent posts after as well. You literally post and then quote things about Cancer men as if you know them, and you really don't. lol
What’s funny about this? You’re such a wack bitch always has been.
details
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by oneday
Posted by nikkistar
The very first post from a month ago, made me die laughing, and then the subsequent posts after as well. You literally post and then quote things about Cancer men as if you know them, and you really don't. lol
Don't be such an asshole, she's trying to figure this out and she clearly cares for the guy.

Do you even know who the fuck I am? Not being an asshole, is not in my vocabulary.

Let me be more blunt here, cause I can laugh even more. You don't do nice things for people, and expect anything in return, she does. Every assumption she has stated about men, and Cancer traits sounds immature and juvenile. It's this goofy ass shit, that girls don't understand, and I'm not gonna sit here and say "aww poor girl".
click to expand
Lmaooo

You’re a nobody!

details
Posted by bkbella86
Posted by nikkistar
The very first post from a month ago, made me die laughing, and then the subsequent posts after as well. You literally post and then quote things about Cancer men as if you know them, and you really don't. lol
What’s funny about this? You’re such a wack bitch always has been.
click to expand
Oh look the angry woman
details
Posted by bkbella86
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by oneday
Posted by nikkistar
The very first post from a month ago, made me die laughing, and then the subsequent posts after as well. You literally post and then quote things about Cancer men as if you know them, and you really don't. lol
Don't be such an asshole, she's trying to figure this out and she clearly cares for the guy.

Do you even know who the fuck I am? Not being an asshole, is not in my vocabulary.

Let me be more blunt here, cause I can laugh even more. You don't do nice things for people, and expect anything in return, she does. Every assumption she has stated about men, and Cancer traits sounds immature and juvenile. It's this goofy ass shit, that girls don't understand, and I'm not gonna sit here and say "aww poor girl".
Lmaooo

You’re a nobody!

click to expand
Says the woman that cant sustain any long term relationship cause of her goofiness.
details
P.S @op you still goofy.
details
It seems like things went downhill right after you met his family and friends. My guess is that they don’t like u too much and that impacted his feelings somewhat. Not entirely though because he keeps talking to u.
details
Him = total cunt

Him + you = your broken heart.


Answer =you're too good for him.
details
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by bkbella86
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by oneday
Posted by nikkistar
The very first post from a month ago, made me die laughing, and then the subsequent posts after as well. You literally post and then quote things about Cancer men as if you know them, and you really don't. lol
Don't be such an asshole, she's trying to figure this out and she clearly cares for the guy.

Do you even know who the fuck I am? Not being an asshole, is not in my vocabulary.

Let me be more blunt here, cause I can laugh even more. You don't do nice things for people, and expect anything in return, she does. Every assumption she has stated about men, and Cancer traits sounds immature and juvenile. It's this goofy ass shit, that girls don't understand, and I'm not gonna sit here and say "aww poor girl".
Lmaooo

You’re a nobody!

Says the woman that cant sustain any long term relationship cause of her goofiness.
click to expand


Judging by the background of your pic and how Unkept your man looks, you’re part of a struggle love. Poverty. Worry about that bitch.
details
Posted by Sodapop
What does an Aries see in a Cancer? 🤔
I like the connection we have in person, we have similar values and all too.
details
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by oneday
Posted by nikkistar
The very first post from a month ago, made me die laughing, and then the subsequent posts after as well. You literally post and then quote things about Cancer men as if you know them, and you really don't. lol
Don't be such an asshole, she's trying to figure this out and she clearly cares for the guy.

Do you even know who the fuck I am? Not being an asshole, is not in my vocabulary.

Let me be more blunt here, cause I can laugh even more. You don't do nice things for people, and expect anything in return, she does. Every assumption she has stated about men, and Cancer traits sounds immature and juvenile. It's this goofy ass shit, that girls don't understand, and I'm not gonna sit here and say "aww poor girl".
click to expand


Thank you so much for your feedback, I really appteciate it. You seem to really understand cancer man. I am sorry if I have come across as assuming, and whatever assumptions I have made about cancer men and all which were untrue were actually bits and pieces of informations which I have read and picked up from all over the internet.

Please believe me that I am really trying to know more about my cancer man and that's the sole reason why I am seeking help from this forum.

I understand what you mean by "You don't do nice things for people, and expect anything in return, she does" I guess I just couldn't help it but to feel disappointed when I was feeling ill and vulnerabe last week.

I am really new to this dating thing. This is actually the 1st guy I have dated other than my 2 ex bfs (both of them were pretty straightforward) That's why I am not responding well to this whole ambiguity. I am having this dilemna in wanting to move things forward and yet I am afraid of getting myself hurt therfore I may seem to be really calculative over who do what, who initiate what and etc.

Thank you once again! Any insights are rrally appreciated
details
Posted by bkbella86
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by bkbella86
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by oneday
Posted by nikkistar
The very first post from a month ago, made me die laughing, and then the subsequent posts after as well. You literally post and then quote things about Cancer men as if you know them, and you really don't. lol
Don't be such an asshole, she's trying to figure this out and she clearly cares for the guy.

Do you even know who the fuck I am? Not being an asshole, is not in my vocabulary.

Let me be more blunt here, cause I can laugh even more. You don't do nice things for people, and expect anything in return, she does. Every assumption she has stated about men, and Cancer traits sounds immature and juvenile. It's this goofy ass shit, that girls don't understand, and I'm not gonna sit here and say "aww poor girl".
Lmaooo

You’re a nobody!

Says the woman that cant sustain any long term relationship cause of her goofiness.


Judging by the background of your pic and how Unkept your man looks, you’re part of a struggle love. Poverty. Worry about that bitch.
click to expand
LOL, I just saw this.

I can't even deal with the level of juvenile, immature shit that comes from you. Congrats, you just showed why you are single, for life.
details
Posted by ariesgirl88
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by oneday
Posted by nikkistar
The very first post from a month ago, made me die laughing, and then the subsequent posts after as well. You literally post and then quote things about Cancer men as if you know them, and you really don't. lol
Don't be such an asshole, she's trying to figure this out and she clearly cares for the guy.

Do you even know who the fuck I am? Not being an asshole, is not in my vocabulary.

Let me be more blunt here, cause I can laugh even more. You don't do nice things for people, and expect anything in return, she does. Every assumption she has stated about men, and Cancer traits sounds immature and juvenile. It's this goofy ass shit, that girls don't understand, and I'm not gonna sit here and say "aww poor girl".


Thank you so much for your feedback, I really appteciate it. You seem to really understand cancer man. I am sorry if I have come across as assuming, and whatever assumptions I have made about cancer men and all which were untrue were actually bits and pieces of informations which I have read and picked up from all over the internet.

Please believe me that I am really trying to know more about my cancer man and that's the sole reason why I am seeking help from this forum.

I understand what you mean by "You don't do nice things for people, and expect anything in return, she does" I guess I just couldn't help it but to feel disappointed when I was feeling ill and vulnerabe last week.

I am really new to this dating thing. This is actually the 1st guy I have dated other than my 2 ex bfs (both of them were pretty straightforward) That's why I am not responding well to this whole ambiguity. I am having this dilemna in wanting to move things forward and yet I am afraid of getting myself hurt therfore I may seem to be really calculative over who do what, who initiate what and etc.

Thank you once again! Any insights are rrally appreciated
click to expand
Ok, one, don't say this is the first guy you have dated, and then list out 2 other boyfriends -_-

You really, really, need to learn patience with any Cancer man. It is who they are.

For the communication aspect, and I have stated this multiple times across the board, and most of the Cancer men agree with this. If they are busy, their level of communication dies significantly. The phone just isn't their priority in life. So don't ever expect for them to be in constantly communication all the time. You will see them text everyday, call you everyday, and then for 2-3 days in a row, they answer a text once, and no calls. That doesn't mean you are forgotten, it just means they are exactly as they say, busy.

They don't play games, and they don't like people playing games. And don't push them and nag them to be or do things that aren't them. Go with the flow, is the best way I can describe it. What will happen, will happen on its own accord without pressure.
details
First
Previous
Next
Last

Leave Your Feedback

We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.

Home Astrology Comments Forums Search

©1997-2025 dxpnet.com. All Rights Reserved.
Advertising Contact Terms of Use Privacy Policy