Capricorn-Can you lose interest in someone quick?

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by iksentricbeauty on Tuesday, January 21, 2014 and has 40 replies.
Hey there cappies smile
I'm an Aquarius female who has been talking to a Capricorn female for about 2 months now through a dating website i met her on..she seemed too good to be true at first because she was very sexually driven when she talked to me (lol it made me think she was someone fake on the website)..she turned out to be foreal because we video chatted to prove that she was who she was..anyways long story short we got to know each other on a deeper level, she opened up to me and i opened up to her about a lot of personal things (something i don't do very often with people)..she ended up getting mad at me because of a COMPLETE misunderstanding, but she would not give me the time of day nor listen to my side of what happend..she told me she was no longer interested and not attracted to me anymore (basically she was upset because she thought I chose my friends over her to hang out with instead, which was not the case at all)..i thought it was something really stupid to end something so quickly that I felt def. had potential..we stoppped talking for like a week but then she popped back into my life and started talking to me again..she wanted to stay "Friends" but really? whats the point in staying friends? for what? it's hard for me to be friends with someone that i was initially talking to on a more intimate level right off the bat. I prefer to cut that person out right away but with her i don't know..i'm getting mixed signals..any feedback is appreciated thanks smile
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I don't lose interest quick unless I discover that someone isnt who they say they are. Like as in their actions don't match their words or I realize they are lying about something. Also, if I figure out there is a deal breaker type flaw in their character, I will lose interest. Betrayal will make me walk away in a heartbeat.
That said, it doesn't seem to be the case in your situation. She still wants to be friends with you so she must think you have good character. If I decide I dont want to be romantic with for some reason like lack of chemistry, for example, but I still like their personality, then yeah, I'd still want to be friends.
Hope that helps. Maybe more information would help us be more helpful. Have yall been intimate? Have yall hung out much or just talking? Long distance or close by? Etc.
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Posted by truecap
I don't lose interest quick unless I discover that someone isnt who they say they are. Like as in their actions don't match their words or I realize they are lying about something. Also, if I figure out there is a deal breaker type flaw in their character, I will lose interest. Betrayal will make me walk away in a heartbeat.
That said, it doesn't seem to be the case in your situation. She still wants to be friends with you so she must think you have good character. If I decide I dont want to be romantic with for some reason like lack of chemistry, for example, but I still like their personality, then yeah, I'd still want to be friends.
Hope that helps. Maybe more information would help us be more helpful. Have yall been intimate? Have yall hung out much or just talking? Long distance or close by? Etc.


Thanks for the response smile
Here are some more details to my story..
After talking for one month (still have not met in person yet) she was very determined to meet in person but the thing is it was holiday time and i was SUPER busy at work, so it was difficult for me to meet up right away which I think kind of disappointed her a bit. We would set a date to meet up but everytime the day before we are supposed to meet she would get upset with me, and we would end up not meeting. The incident that made her not interested in me anymore was this:
I had asked her if she wanted to possibly meet up in Philly after I was done with visiting with family for a couple of hours, she said she was down to do so (the night before I told her i was visiting family AND meeting up with friends later on for a bday celebration)..I ended up telling her to not come because I was still at my family's house and it was almost time for me to go meet with my friends (I even told her that I'd rather meet her when it's just us together and I have all the time with her, nothing rushed). She said it was fine and that she had back up plans anyway..The next day we spoke and she told me about how she had a really bad night out and it didn't turn out well..I told her about my night and how I had to deal with my friends being a mess at the bar and taking care of one of them all night..Now THIS is where she gets mad at me, she claimed that I lied to her and never told her that I was going out with friends to a bar and that I ditched her for them, and if I had just met up with her inste
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instead she wouldn't have had such a bad night out! I explained to her that I had told her I was meeting with my family first and then with friends later for a bday thing..She told me that she's not interested anymore and isn't attracted to people who don't put her first and who lies to her...what???? it was such a horrible miscommunication, I did everything in my power to explain everything and how she's not even listening to me...I was really hurt by that because she totally judged my character in such a wrong way..Of course I will put the person I am interested in first before my friends but she wouldn't give me the time of day..we stopped talking to each other for a lil less than a week..then she calls me by "accident" and we had such an awkward conversation..I tried to make it up to her (even though I felt like i didn't do anything wrong)..she kept saying she doesn't want a person like me in her life, someone who doesn't put her first blahblahblah..i'm like okay if that's how you feel then i cannot force you to like me or talk to me..the next day she said that she doesn't mind being friends..i'm like what the hell? lol..anyways we RECENTLY met for the first time..we went out for drinks and i was getting mixed signals from her all night..we had held hands, i paid for our dinner, i dropped her off, and she ended up giving me a kiss on the lips..i wanted to kiss her more but she was being all shy about it? so then i was like okay go get some sleep talk to u tomorrow..the next day she messages me and was saying how she thought we agreed on just being friends and that she does not feel anything more than that for me anymore..she also said she thinks everything went wrong at the end of the night and the kiss on the lips was just a "Friendly" kiss, nothing more..so what do i do? she made me feel like an ass..of course i apologized to her and told her that i must have gotten the wrong vibe the night before and thought we could start over..she claimed that she just wants to be friends and nothing more..ever since that conversation i have not initiated any contact with her at all..but now she is constantly reaching out to me..
ok i'm done lolol sorry long ass story!
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She sounds a bit psycho to me to be honest. Like she has some problems she is not dealing with.
And she is definitely a Cap, increasing the pressure after the other party starts to pull away.Laughing
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Posted by TigerCap
She sounds a bit psycho to me to be honest. Like she has some problems she is not dealing with.
And she is definitely a Cap, increasing the pressure after the other party starts to pull away.Laughing


hahah you are not the only one who thought that, my friend told me to just let her go and that she probably has some issues she needs to deal with..what do you mean by increasing the pressure?
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You didn't do anything wrong. You were honest with her and you were right it would have been better to meet when you wouldn't be distracted by other obligations.
She overreacted. Could be insecurity or vulnerability that made her pull back.
It's also possible that after yall finally did meet, she didn't feel an instant chemistry. Could be that simple.
She seems like a lot of work, almost like a diva or something. Is that something you really want to deal with?
Don't beat yourself up over this. I don't see how you could have done anything different on your part and you definitely didn't do anything wrong from what I can see.
I'd blow her off romantically and move on to someone else.
Build the friendship though, maybe she will change when she's more comfortable with you - I'm completely different around people I've gotten to know better. Maybe give her a chance via friendship. Caps are hard to get to know, but their true friendship is pretty awesome.
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Could be too that she's not that comfortable with women yet??? There are a lot of variables there though.
*just a shot in the dark*
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I completely agree with Stillwater.
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But she told her it was a squeeze in. The cap knew ahead of time she had other commitments too.
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I wouldn't have gotten pissed off. Disappointed, yes. More cautious in the future, yes. But I would have known there was a possibility cancellation might happen.
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Stillwater,
Your response and your feedback is pretty much the same way she reacted towards me, and she even said when I told her it would be better to meet when we have more time together etc. she responded saying i was giving excuses..I honestly felt it would be better to have more time with her rather than squeeze her in between my family and my friends..I do agree that I should have thought things through better when it came to scheduling my time and I can see why it would upset her..It wasn't done intentionally though I was really thinking what was best for the time being..she's also told me she's the type to cut people off immediately, but why stay friends with me ? i see no point in it..i guess i will try to distance myself from her just so i can get over it and move on..i still have feelings for her so it's not going to be easy for me to just stay friends
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#2) We would set a date to meet up but everytime the day before we are supposed to meet she would get upset with me, and we would end up not meeting.
- what things did she get upset about?
- who was the person who called the meetings off?
To answer that:
-She would ask me for certain things (not gona go into detail about it lol) that I was not comfortable with giving her at the time, I wanted to get to know her more..She was demanding and persistent and when I wouldn't give in she would be upset..
-It was pretty much understood that we were not going to meet because she was upset (neither one of us would call the meeting off)..we just wouldn't talk to eachother for a day or so and then get back to the same flow..it all stopped after the whole meeting up thing in philly did not work out
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I see everyone else's point too. Maybe I'm just more understanding around everyone's holiday schedule. I'm especially understanding about work schedules. Family does and should come first.
*shrugs*
But there comes a point when you feel like everything else is more important than you and it makes you feel bad, so that you re-consider whether this is a person you want in your life. I get that.
I would be cautious though in proceeding to see if this is pattern (looks like the beginning of one perhaps).
There are still some things she said that makes me think the cap is a little on the diva side or spoiled or used to getting her way. What kinds of things did she want you to give her that you weren't ready to do yet?
And, yeah, I like to get my way and it upsets me when I don't, even if I know I'm being irrational, I don't like not getting my way.
Maybe the lesson here is to apologize, admit your lessons learned and promise to do better in the future. She'll be leery, so don't ever over book yourself again.
And one problem aquas and caps have to over come is communication issues. Neither are good about getting to the down and dirty and being vulnerable with each other. Once your pride and embarassment about having feelings about something are tackled, then the two can get along pretty well. Yet, both are bottled up and not willing to share how they really feel about something until they build foundations and trust.
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Posted by iksentricbeauty
#-She would ask me for certain things (not gona go into detail about it lol) that I was not comfortable with giving her at the time, I wanted to get to know her more..She was demanding and persistent and when I wouldn't give in she would be upset..


This is one of the problems between aqua and cap.
The cap is controlling and pushy here.
The aqua will NOT be controlled or pushed.
Both are stubborn and neither want to give in. It is one of the give and takes aqua/cap couples have to figure out how to work around. If the cap can be less pushy/controlling and the aqua be a little less rebellious, then they can find a middle ground.
*Almost two years with an aqua and this is one lesson we had to learn*
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I agree with the bad first impression too. I'm big on individuals staying true to their word especially initially. Because it's a red flag of things to come. I have a friend that is like that, but I've looked past that because I see the good qualities. And some people just have a hard time saying no. I don't think your situation came from a place of ignorance but eagerness. I think if you apologize and say you were just over eager to see her because etc etc reasons. Your apology might be received differently.
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Yeah, other placements help. I have some air in my chart and he has a lot of earth in his. Plus our moons are both earth (virgo/cap) and our mars/venus line up (he is cap venus/I am aqua mars). So on the books, we are a very compatible aqua/cap couple. There have been some things we've had to work on, as I stated before though.
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I did apologize to her numerous times about the whole thing and how I didn't mean to intentionally hurt her or upset her..anyways thank you all for the feedback i appreciate it
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I don't know much about charts, i'm just starting to get into it but here's mine :
Sun Aquarius
Ascendant Capricorn
Moon Virgo
Mercury Aquarius
Venus Capricorn
Mars Taurus
Jupiter Taurus
Saturn Capricorn
Uranus Capricorn
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Virgo
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Wow!!! You have almost the chart as my aqua except he is scorpio ascending and pisces mars. Maybe thats why I understand where you are coming from. Im so used to him and his way of thinking. The biggest problem we had in the beginning was communication. I had to be the vulnerable one first but we finally got it all worked out. All I can say is keep making effort and be consistent. Dont overdo it though. One of these days maybe she will appreciate that virgo moon. smile
Wish we knew what her chart was like.
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wow what a coincidence! lol i guess that is why you do see my point of view smile so do you think that she could possibly have some connection with me still/give me a second chance? or are cappies set in what they say and want to just stay friends? because if that's the case then i will probably just let it go all together..i wish i knew her chart also, shes a January 5th cappy
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Im a Gemini with a Cappy gf and I can tell you that her and I ALWAYS fight because I can never stick to my word. She always says that if Im going to give my word about something then make sure its DONE. Thats one thing cappys seem to hate. Dont make empty promises.
Here is the other thing i've noticed. If you make a commitment and something happens in between such in your situation your family visit ended up taking longer, its like they dont see it or dont care. All they see and care about is that YOU broke the commitment REGARDLESS of the factors as to why you broke the commitment.
Its like black and white with them. No in between. Where as a Gemini, theres black, white, in between, up and down. Basically, dont make a commitment unless you have NOTHING else on. They wont take excuses.
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Oh and just had to add, we're both females also.
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From my experience with cappies, if they want to remain friends, they obviously saw something in you they liked and reasons as to why they would like to remain friends.
Cappies are quick to drop people who they have no regard for or respect. I've seen it first hand with my gf and friends that have come and gone.
The fact that she wants to remain friends I think you have a window of opportunity but you MUST play it right. Just like a Taurus they are cautious as sh*t and can smell a phony a mile away. Play your cards right if you would like to keep a cappy.
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Posted by nats
From my experience with cappies, if they want to remain friends, they obviously saw something in you they liked and reasons as to why they would like to remain friends.
Cappies are quick to drop people who they have no regard for or respect. I've seen it first hand with my gf and friends that have come and gone.
The fact that she wants to remain friends I think you have a window of opportunity but you MUST play it right. Just like a Taurus they are cautious as sh*t and can smell a phony a mile away. Play your cards right if you would like to keep a cappy.


thank you so much for your feedback smile
I can totally relate to you since you are an air sign as well! as an aquarius similar to gemini i do tend to go with the flow when it comes to planning..i need to work on that more and not come off as flakey..we are talking still but i am not initiating any conversation with her..if she wants to talk to me still then i will answer her of course..i still think there is a chance with her but i will def. watch my actions more and be aware of what i say so i don't upset her again
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Yeh its like what caliber has typed
Your cancellation came off as disinterest. Looking at it from her side, if that was me, I think I would have had the same reaction. The very second someone shows disinterest, I back off completely to avoid the pains of being hurt. Seems to me that she wanted you to make those plans happen no matter what, as it shows how serious you are about her. Cancelling did the opposite and now you're being friend-zoned.
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Its as if someone come and said I will meet blah blah blah and then not show up due to unforseen circumstances would you be angry about this, yes majority people would be as they would see this as a form of putdown and sometihng like rejection and obviously dont like that so that s why they be angry but whether or not they stay angry because of someone standing them up is well up to the person themselves. Thered be many whys as to the reason you stood this person up and explaining it now is a start as it looks to be a misunderstanding as this person may not know you were that busy to have stood her up if that makes sense.
As for a Capricorn losing interest in someone they had an interest in, I cant say for all caps only for myself, yes when I realise that the person is not for me then I lose interest and on to the next one.
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Oh yes someone who thinks this is a game and 'plays their cards', this is not a game this is real
who pretends to be a friend and not, obvious
who really hates them and pretends to like them
who is fake and not real
who is out to get them at all costs and wants to see them hurt or burned pretends otherwise
mmm this reminds me of the pc guy, FARCK....
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Yes the list is long but i will stop there as i know what you are trying to do.
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She sounds like a headache. Queen of Sheba. All that getting pissed over insignificant issues & you're only a couple of months in. No, thanks. And now you're going to start watching what you say & do to avoid upsetting her. Not worth it, because it is going to breed resentment in the end. Aquas love to be free in every sense of the word & this censorship is not going to work for long before you start getting fed up of it & her. I still wish you all the best though. Good luck.
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Posted by nats
Im a Gemini with a Cappy gf and I can tell you that her and I ALWAYS fight because I can never stick to my word. She always says that if Im going to give my word about something then make sure its DONE. Thats one thing cappys seem to hate. Dont make empty promises.



This is one of the problems my exhusband, Gemini, had. He was constantly changing his plans and ideas and I felt like I couldn't depend on him. His plans changed like the wind and I'm a planner. He thought I was too rigid and didn't understand my need for planning and I thought he lived life by the seat of his pants and had no rhyme or reason to what he did. Things wouldn't get done at all because "something else came up". Caused a lot of tension for us.
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I meant he and I - not that the problem was all him.
Left some words out. Oops
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Posted by nats
From my experience with cappies, if they want to remain friends, they obviously saw something in you they liked and reasons as to why they would like to remain friends.
Cappies are quick to drop people who they have no regard for or respect. I've seen it first hand with my gf and friends that have come and gone.
The fact that she wants to remain friends I think you have a window of opportunity but you MUST play it right. Just like a Taurus they are cautious as sh*t and can smell a phony a mile away. Play your cards right if you would like to keep a cappy.


+1
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Posted by WaterCup
She sounds like a headache. Queen of Sheba. All that getting pissed over insignificant issues & you're only a couple of months in. No, thanks. And now you're going to start watching what you say & do to avoid upsetting her. Not worth it, because it is going to breed resentment in the end. Aquas love to be free in every sense of the word & this censorship is not going to work for long before you start getting fed up of it & her. I still wish you all the best though. Good luck.


The cap sounded like a diva to me, too. I can understand her thoughts and feelings, but she did over react, I think.
Takes someone more willing to roll with the punches to be with an aqua and this cap just might be too rigid.
That's what I was trying to get at earlier, but didn't word it the right way, just talked around it. Cap/Aqua is a very tricky combination and a lot of it rides on the other planets. I think this aqua has the chart for a cap, but the cap may not have the chart to get along with any aqua.
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Posted by WaterCup
She sounds like a headache. Queen of Sheba. All that getting pissed over insignificant issues & you're only a couple of months in. No, thanks. And now you're going to start watching what you say & do to avoid upsetting her. Not worth it, because it is going to breed resentment in the end. Aquas love to be free in every sense of the word & this censorship is not going to work for long before you start getting fed up of it & her. I still wish you all the best though. Good luck.


Hey there thanks for your response..it's true i do love to be free in every aspect lol i'm keeping it light and airy with her right now..not pursuing it the way i was before
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Posted by truecap
Posted by WaterCup
She sounds like a headache. Queen of Sheba. All that getting pissed over insignificant issues & you're only a couple of months in. No, thanks. And now you're going to start watching what you say & do to avoid upsetting her. Not worth it, because it is going to breed resentment in the end. Aquas love to be free in every sense of the word & this censorship is not going to work for long before you start getting fed up of it & her. I still wish you all the best though. Good luck.


The cap sounded like a diva to me, too. I can understand her thoughts and feelings, but she did over react, I think.
Takes someone more willing to roll with the punches to be with an aqua and this cap just might be too rigid.
That's what I was trying to get at earlier, but didn't word it the right way, just talked around it. Cap/Aqua is a very tricky combination and a lot of it rides on the other planets. I think this aqua has the chart for a cap, but the cap may not have the chart to get along with any aqua.
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She can be a little bit of a diva to be honest..she's told me that she can get jealous and also gets annoyed when she doesn't get it her way..I wish i knew her birth chart because she has capricorn tendencies but some other parts of her personality def. isn't lol..I have a lot of Capricorn in my chart..but I feel like it's displayed more in a work environment (my capricorn side) and my aquarius side is displayed more in relationships..ehh i don't know..the other night she was sending me messages left and right asking me how i am, and how i'm holding up (what???)..she asked me what was on my mind and i told her "nothing." and she was like yeah right, bullshit! i'm like umm i don't have anything on my mind..lol what does she expect me to say? jesus damned if i do damned if i don't
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Maybe be bluntly honest with her. Tell her she is throwing mixed signals and make her explain herself.
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If someone is too easily accessible and they don't captivate me in some way then I lose interest pretty quick. I get bored easily and need stimulation. If they broke my respect it's hard to gain it back. I forgive but don't forget. She must not really be that interested if she's treating you like that. She might be a less evolved type of Capricorn- insecure and not sure what she wants yet.
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If he's an Aries. In a couple of seconds.
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Posted by Amsole11
If someone is too easily accessible and they don't captivate me in some way then I lose interest pretty quick. I get bored easily and need stimulation. If they broke my respect it's hard to gain it back. I forgive but don't forget. She must not really be that interested if she's treating you like that. She might be a less evolved type of Capricorn- insecure and not sure what she wants yet.


it is possible that she is not evolved yet, also she has never been in a same sex relationship. her past relationships were with men..i think i'll just let this one go..she is still reaching out to me and talking to me..but like i said i don't initiate any convo with her
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