I just did IDK
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by lildol on Sunday, May 5, 2013 and has 16 replies.
Blew up on my daughter's BF... he's 29 and a fricken pizza delivery guy! NEVER aspired for anything more, has two kids and now a third (my granddaughter). *smh* My daughter (Cap) hugged me and expressed understanding of my upset. HE bit his tongue, good thing as I was biting mine none the less!
(((hug))
Posted by ianthepisces
so what did he do?
he's 29 and a fricken pizza delivery guy? Idk
what else do ya need?
This is true
What's his sign?
Fuck I want Pizza now
Posted by lildol
Blew up on my daughter's BF... he's 29 and a fricken pizza delivery guy! NEVER aspired for anything more, has two kids and now a third (my granddaughter). *smh* My daughter (Cap) hugged me and expressed understanding of my upset. HE bit his tongue, good thing as I was biting mine none the less!
mind if I chime in...
This and more is how my Cap mom would react in some circumstances. From who her children go out with and who they will marry. My mom, I'll just say it like this "selective" of the people we go out with, I know she care so much about our future and what our life will be and I fully understand her, although sometimes it sucks having a mom who always stick her nose in my business but I will always try to understand her, she just can't help it, a mothers love is enduring and eternal and nothing hurts them so much than seeing their beloved child suffer in any form.
I hope things are getting better...
I honestly dont see the problem either. We love bottom lines, and the bottom line is that he is working.
Where he works and how he supports his family is what both you and your daughter knew beforehand. Why snap now? Because you feel its not enough for your granddaughter? I dont agree with that.
Are any of his kids going without their necessities? Another important thing to look at.
Your daughter has been dating the pizza delivery guy for no telling how long and you couldnt stop her from doing that, no need to try to control what he does.
This is not something that will make or break them as a family.
Where he works and how he supports his family is what both you and your daughter knew beforehand. Why snap now? Because you feel its not enough for your granddaughter? I dont agree with that.
Are any of his kids going without their necessities? Another important thing to look at.
Your daughter has been dating the pizza delivery guy for no telling how long and you couldnt stop her from doing that, no need to try to control what he does.
This is not something that will make or break them as a family.
Posted by geminicandlePosted by PiscescorpPosted by geminicandle
Nothing wrong with being 29 and deliver pizza. Someone's gotta do it!
What does your daughter do? If they have two incomes, they should be aight.
people are never happy, I'd take a pizza delivery son in law, over a druggy who makes millions and gives my daughter a horrible life.
some people do not appreciate our service people who do these types of jobs, and look down on them.
when I don't want to get my lazy ass up to go get it I call them and they bring it to me, and I am so grateful at times because when I have a migraine I can't see, I cant drive, and I can't cook honestly.
I appreciate what they do and when they bring me the pizza to my home and I treat them well.
Yes, for sure!
Our society is disgusting with these fucking labels and preconceived notions of what defines intellect and success, as IF some mere 200 years ago most of humans weren't fucking agrarians!!!
If he is a hard worker, let him be. Maybe thats his true calling in life; he enjoys the fast pace, the tips, flexible hours, not much people contact. Who are we to judge him?
I cleaned rich people's houses to earn money for college, and I am not ashamed by any means. That job was great and easy compared to shitty, highly stressfull medical field job I hold now. But people think I am all that, because I get to wear a white lab coat now-eyeroll-click to expand
I'm just frustrated. I understand he may be comfortable in his role as a "pizza delivery guy". But, I'm looking at the long term, what about when he's 40 and he's still delivering pizza?? HELLO! Personally, I would be embarrassed and I'll be embarrassed for my granddaughter as well! By the time I was his age I owned my own home for Christ's sake! Nothing was standing btwn taking care of my children and making sure they had a descent life, NOTHING - and I did it all without help from anyone. So, I don't care for this crap that maybe he hasn't the means. No one has ever helped me do shit! If you want success and to improve your own life and those whom you care for nothing can stand in your way! But you have to want it!
He could care less if his own children scrape the bottom of the bucket! Hell, he doesn't even care to spend time with his other two, he CHOOSES to have them on days when he's working and dumps them off on my daughter. He had the audacity to ask my daughter if she would take them the day she got out of the hospital! He can't provide for them nor chooses to do so on either an emotional or financial level, bottom line! (Sure, he sends the ex money, but he only does so to shut her up. He doesn't pay regular child support, he only sends her money when she bitches).
I've encouraged him to do something. I've talked to him about going to school at the community college and about good paying job opportunities that were presented to him, basically thrown at him. Hell, there were job openings with the postal service, great benefits, retirement plan, a stable job, set schedule - nope, wants nothing to do with any of it! Really? You don't want your children to at least have health insurance? Oh, that's right, that's what Medicaid is for... AAARRRGGGHHH
He could care less if his own children scrape the bottom of the bucket! Hell, he doesn't even care to spend time with his other two, he CHOOSES to have them on days when he's working and dumps them off on my daughter. He had the audacity to ask my daughter if she would take them the day she got out of the hospital! He can't provide for them nor chooses to do so on either an emotional or financial level, bottom line! (Sure, he sends the ex money, but he only does so to shut her up. He doesn't pay regular child support, he only sends her money when she bitches).
I've encouraged him to do something. I've talked to him about going to school at the community college and about good paying job opportunities that were presented to him, basically thrown at him. Hell, there were job openings with the postal service, great benefits, retirement plan, a stable job, set schedule - nope, wants nothing to do with any of it! Really? You don't want your children to at least have health insurance? Oh, that's right, that's what Medicaid is for... AAARRRGGGHHH
As for knowing what we were getting into, yes, indeed. I openly expressed my concerns when she told me she was pregnant. Even said in front of him that he couldn't afford another child and she was going to end up a single parent (I can be a bit biting at times - go figure!). Of course, you would think that would have gotten his ass in gear just to prove me wrong. I know, she's not a single parent yet...
My daughter was hoping that her bf would take some steps to improve the situation - but she recognizes now that all he does is make excuses. She's indicated to me that if this is what he plans to continue doing for employment then she does not intend on staying with him.
Sometimes, as a mother, I hate being right
My daughter was hoping that her bf would take some steps to improve the situation - but she recognizes now that all he does is make excuses. She's indicated to me that if this is what he plans to continue doing for employment then she does not intend on staying with him.
Sometimes, as a mother, I hate being right
Lildol- I hear your frustration, and I'm sorry you have to deal with this, BUT- I think you need to let it go. As much as it pains you to see, he is not YOUR problem. He is your daughter's problem. Sooner or later she will come to her senses about him, but it has to be her choice. You're feeling all this stress over someone you cannot change, a situation you can do nothing about, so really, it does no good for you to worry about it. The best you can do is be there for your daughter and your grand daughter, which I know you will be.
Hugs.
Hugs.
middle ground? is there any encouraging him lildol?? sorry i havent read through the whole thread. this might have been covered, but i would try to lend a hand and some encouragement.
this reminds me of my brother, minus the dependents. for years i gave him encouraging pep talks. i offered my help in putting him in front of the right people, help with a resume, cover letter... etc. granted in his situation, he took me up on my offer only so far, but the point is that while i didnt, and still don't, agree with where he seems to be maxing himself, i'm doing what i can to help him improve it.
or did. i've since given up. i tried til i was blue in the face. but i did try. it frustrates me because he's too smart and well liked to be working at a pizza place. heh... what the frick is with pizza gigs?
you just want those you care about to be happy and the best they can be. i'm not knocking an honest job. i just think he's good enough for his own dreams and not New York Slice's.
i'm sure your sentiments are similar lildol just indirectly and more centered on your daughter and grand daughter.
this reminds me of my brother, minus the dependents. for years i gave him encouraging pep talks. i offered my help in putting him in front of the right people, help with a resume, cover letter... etc. granted in his situation, he took me up on my offer only so far, but the point is that while i didnt, and still don't, agree with where he seems to be maxing himself, i'm doing what i can to help him improve it.
or did. i've since given up. i tried til i was blue in the face. but i did try. it frustrates me because he's too smart and well liked to be working at a pizza place. heh... what the frick is with pizza gigs?
you just want those you care about to be happy and the best they can be. i'm not knocking an honest job. i just think he's good enough for his own dreams and not New York Slice's.
i'm sure your sentiments are similar lildol just indirectly and more centered on your daughter and grand daughter.
Posted by lildol
I've encouraged him to do something. I've talked to him about going to school at the community college and about good paying job opportunities that were presented to him, basically thrown at him. Hell, there were job openings with the postal service, great benefits, retirement plan, a stable job, set schedule - nope, wants nothing to do with any of it! Really? You don't want your children to at least have health insurance? Oh, that's right, that's what Medicaid is for... AAARRRGGGHHH
ahhhh cha cha hamma. lol there it is
sounds like you are going through the same exact damn thing i went through with my younger brother.
yea. just reading this draws up my frustrations. i hate to say give up and i hate to say keep trying.
tough love? :\
I hear you there...
I may not know how you feel exactly but I feel you...
I saw that kind of attitude many times and I really don't like it, you're not alone with this kind of situation.
The person I know with this kind of situation too was worse than your daughters bf coz her hubby was nothing but a "professional bum".
Your story hits home coz I care so much about my friend but she seems to get used to that situation. C'mon this guy should be man enough to work his ass off and start to dream bigger not just for himself but especially for the children. If I were in your situation I might have done the same thing and perhaps even worse, I don't wanna see my loved ones suffer without me giving a damn. No no not in this life time.
I see that you've been keeping everything inside and tried to help your daughter by helping her bf get a better job. I can see also that you have a sensible daughter the way she reacts towards you when you shit her bf, I think this domestic issue is a major thing that your daughter and her bf should talk about. Talk to your daughter as well and be the loving mother she needs, present the pros and cons of their current situation, tell her that you care so much about the future of your granddaughter and only want nothing but the best intentions. you've had your fair share in life and I think that's enough for your daughter to mirror with. You are a though woman as I see it and I admire you for that.
I may not know how you feel exactly but I feel you...
I saw that kind of attitude many times and I really don't like it, you're not alone with this kind of situation.
The person I know with this kind of situation too was worse than your daughters bf coz her hubby was nothing but a "professional bum".
Your story hits home coz I care so much about my friend but she seems to get used to that situation. C'mon this guy should be man enough to work his ass off and start to dream bigger not just for himself but especially for the children. If I were in your situation I might have done the same thing and perhaps even worse, I don't wanna see my loved ones suffer without me giving a damn. No no not in this life time.
I see that you've been keeping everything inside and tried to help your daughter by helping her bf get a better job. I can see also that you have a sensible daughter the way she reacts towards you when you shit her bf, I think this domestic issue is a major thing that your daughter and her bf should talk about. Talk to your daughter as well and be the loving mother she needs, present the pros and cons of their current situation, tell her that you care so much about the future of your granddaughter and only want nothing but the best intentions. you've had your fair share in life and I think that's enough for your daughter to mirror with. You are a though woman as I see it and I admire you for that.
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