Opinions and judging
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by SmartOnTheRocks on Tuesday, February 16, 2016 and has 34 replies.
@Cancer23 I was still reading your thread you shouldn't have removed. I got to page 4.
One thing I noticed people behind computers think they can bully other people and are quick to judge instead of giving solid good advice. From that thread the only 2 people that tried to help were Arielle and FirstDecanTaurus...
@Cancer23 is flipping TWENTY ONE YEARS OLD! !!!!! I'm not saying she's a victim but telling her she's a side piece and she must think for the gf is really kind of retarded.
Take the gf out if the picture because 1st of all she doesn't even have a ring on her finger. so she might be giving him services for free under the main chick title for all we know.
I'm not condoning @cancer23s behaviour but reality is she's already in the situation. The best you can do is advice her on her reality not the stereotyped world morals. We all know not to date a person in a relationship. We all know this but SITUATIONS let you be stuck and you make choices whereby morals fly out the Window.
Her reality is she is sleeping with a man who is handsome funny goofy loving and is good in bed. this guy is also a cheat sounds like a narcissistic male chauvinist who is also emotionally abusive. But worse he's got a decade experience over her innocence and is using his charms to lure her in.
my ADVICE and not JUDGEMENT is my baby have fun. use him as much as he is using you. In the meantime every chance you get allow yourself to emotionally let go the best way you can. 1 day you will wake up and realize you deserve better. Never initiate communication. Hopefully he will call you after 3 months and by that time you will have moved on. don't know even feel bad about the gf she's not your problem. She's his. You focus on yourself. Look at the positive things you like about him and let those be your guide in what you want in your future solid relationship. Until then hope you have fun focusing on you your life and not crying over some douche bag and please learn from this lesson. To value yourself next time even if the guy is Zac Efron if he has a gf show him the middle finger.
Hope this helps and don't forget you too young to be worried about any boy. Right now your main struggle should be should I be wearing a pink or red nail polish to go with my hot dress. or where to should go when you have your paycheck in check.
One thing I noticed people behind computers think they can bully other people and are quick to judge instead of giving solid good advice. From that thread the only 2 people that tried to help were Arielle and FirstDecanTaurus...
@Cancer23 is flipping TWENTY ONE YEARS OLD! !!!!! I'm not saying she's a victim but telling her she's a side piece and she must think for the gf is really kind of retarded.
Take the gf out if the picture because 1st of all she doesn't even have a ring on her finger. so she might be giving him services for free under the main chick title for all we know.
I'm not condoning @cancer23s behaviour but reality is she's already in the situation. The best you can do is advice her on her reality not the stereotyped world morals. We all know not to date a person in a relationship. We all know this but SITUATIONS let you be stuck and you make choices whereby morals fly out the Window.
Her reality is she is sleeping with a man who is handsome funny goofy loving and is good in bed. this guy is also a cheat sounds like a narcissistic male chauvinist who is also emotionally abusive. But worse he's got a decade experience over her innocence and is using his charms to lure her in.
my ADVICE and not JUDGEMENT is my baby have fun. use him as much as he is using you. In the meantime every chance you get allow yourself to emotionally let go the best way you can. 1 day you will wake up and realize you deserve better. Never initiate communication. Hopefully he will call you after 3 months and by that time you will have moved on. don't know even feel bad about the gf she's not your problem. She's his. You focus on yourself. Look at the positive things you like about him and let those be your guide in what you want in your future solid relationship. Until then hope you have fun focusing on you your life and not crying over some douche bag and please learn from this lesson. To value yourself next time even if the guy is Zac Efron if he has a gf show him the middle finger.
Hope this helps and don't forget you too young to be worried about any boy. Right now your main struggle should be should I be wearing a pink or red nail polish to go with my hot dress. or where to should go when you have your paycheck in check.
Good advice
In other words ...... you wanted attention
Nope I wanted to be real for once. Let me guess. You were going to name call her and tell her she deserves such pain times 50 more forgetting she's only a young person. Your Great Grand daughter will also go through such.
We don't need judges we need realists. Had she not deleted her thread I would have responded there. She didn't give me a chance. Hopefully I wasn't too little too late
We don't need judges we need realists. Had she not deleted her thread I would have responded there. She didn't give me a chance. Hopefully I wasn't too little too late
Posted by FyzaGems
Yes, I know how you feel. I have the same thing too.
The problem with communication is that people don't listen to understand. They only listen to answer. Every single humans on earth has flaws. We make alot of mistakes so that we could learn.
It's a good thing that she has her thread deleted else she will go crazy with people who's being so judgemental. When I was much younger, I'm always doing the same mistakes for atleast a couple of times to be sure that it was wrong.
I don't understand why people has to come off as being mean. These helpless souls are actually seeking help because they were confused by what's happening to them and were in pain so what's wrong with comforting them and explaining common sense to them in a softer way? It doesn't hurt to be kind. I have met alot of counsellors and none of them has ever appeared to be cold or harsh when dealing with people who needs help.
What's happening to humans now? Why is it hard to be sensitive to others when we know we, ourselves, hate to be judge. I find that kind of mentality stupid. I hope she will be fine and put herself back together in piece. The world is a cruel place to be in but having a kind heart is a courage. I raise my hat to you buddy.
+1
Posted by SmartOnTheRocks
@Cancer23 I was still reading your thread you shouldn't have removed. I got to page 4.
One thing I noticed people behind computers think they can bully other people and are quick to judge instead of giving solid good advice. From that thread the only 2 people that tried to help were Arielle and FirstDecanTaurus...
@Cancer23 is flipping TWENTY ONE YEARS OLD! !!!!! I'm not saying she's a victim but telling her she's a side piece and she must think for the gf is really kind of retarded.
Take the gf out if the picture because 1st of all she doesn't even have a ring on her finger. so she might be giving him services for free under the main chick title for all we know.
I'm not condoning @cancer23s behaviour but reality is she's already in the situation. The best you can do is advice her on her reality not the stereotyped world morals. We all know not to date a person in a relationship. We all know this but SITUATIONS let you be stuck and you make choices whereby morals fly out the Window.
Her reality is she is sleeping with a man who is handsome funny goofy loving and is good in bed. this guy is also a cheat sounds like a narcissistic male chauvinist who is also emotionally abusive. But worse he's got a decade experience over her innocence and is using his charms to lure her in.
my ADVICE and not JUDGEMENT is my baby have fun. use him as much as he is using you. In the meantime every chance you get allow yourself to emotionally let go the best way you can. 1 day you will wake up and realize you deserve better. Never initiate communication. Hopefully he will call you after 3 months and by that time you will have moved on. don't know even feel bad about the gf she's not your problem. She's his. You focus on yourself. Look at the positive things you like about him and let those be your guide in what you want in your future solid relationship. Until then hope you have fun focusing on you your life and not crying over some douche bag and please learn from this lesson. To value yourself next time even if the guy is Zac Efron if he has a gf show him the middle finger.
Hope this helps and don't forget you too young to be worried about any boy. Right now your main struggle should be should I be wearing a pink or red nail polish to go with my hot dress. or where to should go when you have your paycheck in check.
So your advice is to keep being a side piece bcuz she's young and doesn't know any better. To use him, as much as he's using her instead of having respect for herself. Bcuz she's young go ahead and fuk up, even if you know it's wrong.
Ya, let's see how she may feel about that when the cheated gf is her, and his side piece is thinking the same thing.
Posted by FyzaGems
Yes, I know how you feel. I have the same thing too.
The problem with communication is that people don't listen to understand. They only listen to answer. Every single humans on earth has flaws. We make alot of mistakes so that we could learn.
It's a good thing that she has her thread deleted else she will go crazy with people who's being so judgemental. When I was much younger, I'm always doing the same mistakes for atleast a couple of times to be sure that it was wrong.
I don't understand why people has to come off as being mean. These helpless souls are actually seeking help because they were confused by what's happening to them and were in pain so what's wrong with comforting them and explaining common sense to them in a softer way? It doesn't hurt to be kind. I have met alot of counsellors and none of them has ever appeared to be cold or harsh when dealing with people who needs help.
What's happening to humans now? Why is it hard to be sensitive to others when we know we, ourselves, hate to be judge. I find that kind of mentality stupid. I hope she will be fine and put herself back together in piece. The world is a cruel place to be in but having a kind heart is a courage. I raise my hat to you buddy.
no I raise all the wine glasses in this world to you. I am going to force myself as your sister and invade your life so I myself can have this happy pill you always take. ..
Say you will have me DAMMIT!!!!
You too adorable and beyond
It's simple, really. When a man TELLS you point blank (especially over and over and over) that he DOES NOT want a relationship, he does not want a relationship. That's when you cut ties and tell him bye. By hanging onto hope because he does little things to get into her pants, she will just be hurting herself more if she keeps on and yes, she will become jaded. Moreso, while she's wasting time with a douchebag, that is stealing time from her to find a decent guy who will appreciate her.
Your advise to use him right back was not good advice. She's young. She's in love. She's naive. So to tell her to keep on is stupid.
Your advise to use him right back was not good advice. She's young. She's in love. She's naive. So to tell her to keep on is stupid.
She needed clarity. Not understanding. We all understood. We did. (well, I can't speak for everyone). We've all been young. We've all done stupid things for a man. I just wish I had some people with experience to go to in my younger days and I wish I had people who were honest enough with me to point me in the right direction.
Posted by SmartOnTheRocksclick to expand
Posted by GreenteaPosted by SmartOnTheRocksclick to expand
Posted by GreenteaPosted by SmartOnTheRocksclick to expand
Posted by truecapPosted by GreenteaPosted by SmartOnTheRocksclick to expand
*COMPLETELY shady and insensitive themselves
@Greentea THANK YOU.
Posted by truecap
It's simple, really. When a man TELLS you point blank (especially over and over and over) that he DOES NOT want a relationship, he does not want a relationship. That's when you cut ties and tell him bye. By hanging onto hope because he does little things to get into her pants, she will just be hurting herself more if she keeps on and yes, she will become jaded. Moreso, while she's wasting time with a douchebag, that is stealing time from her to find a decent guy who will appreciate her.
Your advise to use him right back was not good advice. She's young. She's in love. She's naive. So to tell her to keep on is stupid.
you missing my point. my point is everyone is telling her something she already knows. She KNOWS these things yet she still is there in the situation. She loves him and is emotionally invested meaning if this guy comes today she will open her door. Or today reading your comments she will ignore him 4 2 weeks Max until she misses him and it's back to square 1.
She knows there's a gf she knows all the bad things. SINCE he makes her happy she must USE him until she's had enough of him to the point where she's done. done laughing with him done kissing him done being in his arms and only she will know her limits. Its not sugar coating its being real. I put myself as a naive in love 21 year old and hell no will I leave if I have invested emotionally sexually and mentally.
I have never dated a taken man but I have had my share of bad relationships even with the red flags I just wanted him. He comes to me even if he comes after a month.
I left not because my friends or family told me to but 1 day I put all the red flags together made a bomb and made my exit.
You were married you just didn't leave the 1st time he messed up. even with your Aqua you not just going to pack and leave. You have to mentally prepare yourself. In the meantime are you going to sulk until you leave or USE what he's dishing out to you.
If my bf gives me Love on an island and I dump him the next day Hey at least I used him for those memories on that island until I was strong enough to leave.
Posted by SmartOnTheRocksPosted by truecap
It's simple, really. When a man TELLS you point blank (especially over and over and over) that he DOES NOT want a relationship, he does not want a relationship. That's when you cut ties and tell him bye. By hanging onto hope because he does little things to get into her pants, she will just be hurting herself more if she keeps on and yes, she will become jaded. Moreso, while she's wasting time with a douchebag, that is stealing time from her to find a decent guy who will appreciate her.
Your advise to use him right back was not good advice. She's young. She's in love. She's naive. So to tell her to keep on is stupid.
you missing my point. my point is everyone is telling her something she already knows. She KNOWS these things yet she still is there in the situation. She loves him and is emotionally invested meaning if this guy comes today she will open her door. Or today reading your comments she will ignore him 4 2 weeks Max until she misses him and it's back to square 1.
She knows there's a gf she knows all the bad things. SINCE he makes her happy she must USE him until she's had enough of him to the point where she's done. done laughing with him done kissing him done being in his arms and only she will know her limits. Its not sugar coating its being real. I put myself as a naive in love 21 year old and hell no will I leave if I have invested emotionally sexually and mentally.
I have never dated a taken man but I have had my share of bad relationships even with the red flags I just wanted him. He comes to me even if he comes after a month.
I left not because my friends or family told me to but 1 day I put all the red flags together made a bomb and made my exit.
You were married you just didn't leave the 1st time he messed up. even with your Aqua you not just going to pack and leave. You have to mentally prepare yourself. In the meantime are you going to sulk until you leave or USE what he's dishing out to you.
If my bf gives me Love on an island and I dump him the next day Hey at least I used him for those memories on that island until I was strong enough to leave.click to expand
You are missing the point that HE is not HER boyfriend, he diesnt even want to be withbher exceot for sex, he's using her for a piece of different ass. If that's OK with her, then she's just stupid. And you're telling her it's ok to be stupid until she's done being stupid in HER OWN DELUSION.
Hopefully she's taken the advice of the women in here, that is only trying to protect her. When you protect someone, you tell them to stay away from things that will hurt them, even if it's wrapped up in a nice package.
Posted by Gooober
@Greentea THANK YOU.
I don't know what for but you're welcome
@Gooober
Posted by GreenteaPosted by SmartOnTheRocksclick to expand
The process is teaching her to think for herself.
honestly we just going to bicker back and forth I'm entitled to my opinion and I respect yours too. There's a difference between judging a person and advicing. I didn't sugarcoat anything. I still told her her actions are wrong but since she's already there the best way I see is she must get out of it which is another process all on its own
honestly we just going to bicker back and forth I'm entitled to my opinion and I respect yours too. There's a difference between judging a person and advicing. I didn't sugarcoat anything. I still told her her actions are wrong but since she's already there the best way I see is she must get out of it which is another process all on its own
Posted by GreenteaPosted by Gooober
@Greentea THANK YOU.
I don't know what for but you're welcome
@Goooberclick to expand
Your comments to OP. I was thanking you for taking the words right out of my mouth. Lol.
All I can say is wow! To everybody's advice. And no I don't want to be pampered like a child. I just needed answers. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into when we started. It just honestly happened so fast. Once it happend I was already so emotionally involved with him. As many times as I told myself I needed to stop...I just couldn't. And as much sympathy as I have for her. I'm not forcing him to do anything he doesn't want to do. In the beginning I was in a relationship also...so we were both in the wrong! But now that I'm single...I'm the only one in the wrong. I don't get it! I know I'm young but I'm very mature for my age (as I been told) I dont want to fuck up his relationship. But by what he told me he doesn't even want one. With anybody. Not just me. Truth or not. I'm not forcing him to do this. He wants to.
Posted by Cancer23
All I can say is wow! To everybody's advice. And no I don't want to be pampered like a child. I just needed answers. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into when we started. It just honestly happened so fast. Once it happend I was already so emotionally involved with him. As many times as I told myself I needed to stop...I just couldn't. And as much sympathy as I have for her. I'm not forcing him to do anything he doesn't want to do. In the beginning I was in a relationship also...so we were both in the wrong! But now that I'm single...I'm the only one in the wrong. I don't get it! I know I'm young but I'm very mature for my age (as I been told) I dont want to fuck up his relationship. But by what he told me he doesn't even want one. With anybody. Not just me. Truth or not. I'm not forcing him to do this. He wants to.
Do you have any idea how bad you're making yourself look? You totally admit that you know it's wrong, yet you continued to do it and play dumb.. Seriously.. GET REAL
"so we were both in the wrong! " "I know I'm young but I'm very mature for my age (as I been told)" I dont want to fuck up his relationship." " Truth or not. I'm not forcing him to do this. He wants to."............ You're in control of your own actions though, aren't you?
Hmmmm, it's not rocket science. "Oh gosh what should I do, poor me" ...... Pathetic. You don't need answers from us, you know what you should do. Again, have some self respect, and also some empathy!
Posted by Cancer23
All I can say is wow! To everybody's advice. And no I don't want to be pampered like a child. I just needed answers. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into when we started. It just honestly happened so fast. Once it happend I was already so emotionally involved with him. As many times as I told myself I needed to stop...I just couldn't. And as much sympathy as I have for her. I'm not forcing him to do anything he doesn't want to do. In the beginning I was in a relationship also...so we were both in the wrong! But now that I'm single...I'm the only one in the wrong. I don't get it! I know I'm young but I'm very mature for my age (as I been told) I dont want to fuck up his relationship. But by what he told me he doesn't even want one. With anybody. Not just me. Truth or not. I'm not forcing him to do this. He wants to.
Who tells you that you're mature...your friends?
Ofcourse he was to sleep with you, he's a man...as long as it's avaliable to him, he will take it. Maturity involves self discipline and conviction to walk away and doing what's right, even if it's not what you want.
Posted by SmartOnTheRocksPosted by truecap
It's simple, really. When a man TELLS you point blank (especially over and over and over) that he DOES NOT want a relationship, he does not want a relationship. That's when you cut ties and tell him bye. By hanging onto hope because he does little things to get into her pants, she will just be hurting herself more if she keeps on and yes, she will become jaded. Moreso, while she's wasting time with a douchebag, that is stealing time from her to find a decent guy who will appreciate her.
Your advise to use him right back was not good advice. She's young. She's in love. She's naive. So to tell her to keep on is stupid.
you missing my point. my point is everyone is telling her something she already knows. She KNOWS these things yet she still is there in the situation. She loves him and is emotionally invested meaning if this guy comes today she will open her door. Or today reading your comments she will ignore him 4 2 weeks Max until she misses him and it's back to square 1.
She knows there's a gf she knows all the bad things. SINCE he makes her happy she must USE him until she's had enough of him to the point where she's done. done laughing with him done kissing him done being in his arms and only she will know her limits. Its not sugar coating its being real. I put myself as a naive in love 21 year old and hell no will I leave if I have invested emotionally sexually and mentally.
I have never dated a taken man but I have had my share of bad relationships even with the red flags I just wanted him. He comes to me even if he comes after a month.
I left not because my friends or family told me to but 1 day I put all the red flags together made a bomb and made my exit.
You were married you just didn't leave the 1st time he messed up. even with your Aqua you not just going to pack and leave. You have to mentally prepare yourself. In the meantime are you going to sulk until you leave or USE what he's dishing out to you.
If my bf gives me Love on an island and I dump him the next day Hey at least I used him for those memories on that island until I was strong enough to leave.click to expand
Are you SERIOUSLY comparing marriage and a long term COMMITTED relationship to this situation?
And you can't read her mind. You can't read the future.
Hopefully the honest comments she gets from this board will give her the courage to set her boundaries and find her worth. She seems really sweet. She's worth WAY more than what she's settling for.
Posted by Cancer23
All I can say is wow! To everybody's advice. And no I don't want to be pampered like a child. I just needed answers. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into when we started. It just honestly happened so fast. Once it happend I was already so emotionally involved with him. As many times as I told myself I needed to stop...I just couldn't. And as much sympathy as I have for her. I'm not forcing him to do anything he doesn't want to do. In the beginning I was in a relationship also...so we were both in the wrong! But now that I'm single...I'm the only one in the wrong. I don't get it! I know I'm young but I'm very mature for my age (as I been told) I dont want to fuck up his relationship. But by what he told me he doesn't even want one. With anybody. Not just me. Truth or not. I'm not forcing him to do this. He wants to.
Okay.
Our opinions here are useless.
Done.
_signing off
Posted by LuckyLibra979Posted by SmartOnTheRocks
Nope I wanted to be real for once. Let me guess. You were going to name call her and tell her she deserves such pain times 50 more forgetting she's only a young person. Your Great Grand daughter will also go through such.
We don't need judges we need realists. Had she not deleted her thread I would have responded there. She didn't give me a chance. Hopefully I wasn't too little too late
Lmao u came to the internet to be real, can't knock you for being ambitiousclick to expand
I see what you did there. lol lol
Posted by GreenteaPosted by Cancer23
All I can say is wow! To everybody's advice. And no I don't want to be pampered like a child. I just needed answers. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into when we started. It just honestly happened so fast. Once it happend I was already so emotionally involved with him. As many times as I told myself I needed to stop...I just couldn't. And as much sympathy as I have for her. I'm not forcing him to do anything he doesn't want to do. In the beginning I was in a relationship also...so we were both in the wrong! But now that I'm single...I'm the only one in the wrong. I don't get it! I know I'm young but I'm very mature for my age (as I been told) I dont want to fuck up his relationship. But by what he told me he doesn't even want one. With anybody. Not just me. Truth or not. I'm not forcing him to do this. He wants to.
Who tells you that you're mature...your friends?
Ofcourse he was to sleep with you, he's a man...as long as it's avaliable to him, he will take it. Maturity involves self discipline and conviction to walk away and doing what's right, even if it's not what you want.click to expand
No. I only have like two or three friends. Because people are so judgemental, and childish. And this world lives off nothing but sterotypes. I understand that he will take what he can get because all men love sex! I may be young and yes I know right from wrong. And my situation may be so wrong...but you know everybody has situations where they are so wrong but it feels so right! Well yea I'm kinda in that boat. I feel for his gf I really do. And I hate that he's doing this to her. Even if she doesn't know...it's the principle. I couldn't ever imagine for somebody to do me like this. But like I said I'm not forcing him to do this. He's not just some dude I fuck on occasions. We are also friends. We talk about everything. And I'm not trying to slide away from being this as y'all call it "side chick" spot...and I'm also not trying to ease my way into a as y'all call it "main chick" spot either. But he's a grown ass man. And as many times as he told me how guilty he has felt after we would meet up. I would tell him we can stop without any problems. But he still comes back. Not saying that it's anything more then what he's telling me. But he has a girl that he can fuck all he wants. Any day...anytime. He told me he loves her. And I know he does. My question is...why does he keep coming back! He has a girl he can make love to. Which is better then sex. You guys think y'all are confused. How do y'all think I feel? This whole situation is fucked up. I care about him. It would be so much easier to tell him to fuck off...but we actually have a close bond.
Posted by Cancer23Posted by GreenteaPosted by Cancer23
All I can say is wow! To everybody's advice. And no I don't want to be pampered like a child. I just needed answers. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into when we started. It just honestly happened so fast. Once it happend I was already so emotionally involved with him. As many times as I told myself I needed to stop...I just couldn't. And as much sympathy as I have for her. I'm not forcing him to do anything he doesn't want to do. In the beginning I was in a relationship also...so we were both in the wrong! But now that I'm single...I'm the only one in the wrong. I don't get it! I know I'm young but I'm very mature for my age (as I been told) I dont want to fuck up his relationship. But by what he told me he doesn't even want one. With anybody. Not just me. Truth or not. I'm not forcing him to do this. He wants to.
Who tells you that you're mature...your friends?
Ofcourse he was to sleep with you, he's a man...as long as it's avaliable to him, he will take it. Maturity involves self discipline and conviction to walk away and doing what's right, even if it's not what you want.
No. I only have like two or three friends. Because people are so judgemental, and childish. And this world lives off nothing but sterotypes. I understand that he will take what he can get because all men love sex! I may be young and yes I know right from wrong. And my situation may be so wrong...but you know everybody has situations where they are so wrong but it feels so right! Well yea I'm kinda in that boat. I feel for his gf I really do. And I hate that he's doing this to her. Even if she doesn't know...it's the principle. I couldn't ever imagine for somebody to do me like this. But like I said I'm not forcing him to do this. He's not just some dude I fuck on occasions. We are also friends. We talk about everything. And I'm not trying to slide away from being this as y'all call it "side chick" spot...and I'm also not trying to ease my way into a as y'all call it "main chick" spot either. But he's a grown ass man. And as many times as he told me how guilty he has felt after we would meet up. I would tell him we can stop without any problems. But he still comes back. Not saying that it's anything more then what he's telling me. But he has a girl that he can fuck all he wants. Any day...anytime. He told me he loves her. And I know he does. My question is...why does he keep coming back! He has a girl he can make love to. Which is better then sex. You guys think y'all are confused. How do y'all think I feel? This whole situation is fucked up. I care about him. It would be so much easier to tell him to fuck off...but wclick to expand
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He comes back bcuz he can be completely honest with you, and you're ok with it. He's telling you he loves her, he feels guilty that he's sleeping with you on the side. Yet, you're only concerned about how he feels, and say it's ok if you don't want to do this anymore. So he thinks it's all about him amd youre just along for whatever. I dont think he cares about you like that, you're just the chick who keeps giving him what he wants. He respects his girlfriend bcuz she's loyal to the POS he is being. He see's her as the angel, and why he has a hard time leaving her. The only reason why he feels he doesn't want to be in a relationship with hos gf is bcuz he knows she's a good girl and deserves better than him at this point. When he goes to her, and looks at her, he realizes she's the innocent one in all this, and he's the one sneaking around with a girl who knows she's also being morally wrong knowing what she knows. If you're ok with that, he is too, bcuz the relationship started with deceit to your partners.
He comes back bcuz he can be completely honest with you, and you're ok with it. He's telling you he loves her, he feels guilty that he's sleeping with you on the side. Yet, you're only concerned about how he feels, and say it's ok if you don't want to do this anymore. So he thinks it's all about him amd youre just along for whatever. I dont think he cares about you like that, you're just the chick who keeps giving him what he wants. He respects his girlfriend bcuz she's loyal to the POS he is being. He see's her as the angel, and why he has a hard time leaving her. The only reason why he feels he doesn't want to be in a relationship with hos gf is bcuz he knows she's a good girl and deserves better than him at this point. When he goes to her, and looks at her, he realizes she's the innocent one in all this, and he's the one sneaking around with a girl who knows she's also being morally wrong knowing what she knows. If you're ok with that, he is too, bcuz the relationship started with deceit to your partners.
Posted by Cancer23Posted by GreenteaPosted by Cancer23
All I can say is wow! To everybody's advice. And no I don't want to be pampered like a child. I just needed answers. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into when we started. It just honestly happened so fast. Once it happend I was already so emotionally involved with him. As many times as I told myself I needed to stop...I just couldn't. And as much sympathy as I have for her. I'm not forcing him to do anything he doesn't want to do. In the beginning I was in a relationship also...so we were both in the wrong! But now that I'm single...I'm the only one in the wrong. I don't get it! I know I'm young but I'm very mature for my age (as I been told) I dont want to fuck up his relationship. But by what he told me he doesn't even want one. With anybody. Not just me. Truth or not. I'm not forcing him to do this. He wants to.
Who tells you that you're mature...your friends?
Ofcourse he was to sleep with you, he's a man...as long as it's avaliable to him, he will take it. Maturity involves self discipline and conviction to walk away and doing what's right, even if it's not what you want.
No. I only have like two or three friends. Because people are so judgemental, and childish. And this world lives off nothing but sterotypes. I understand that he will take what he can get because all men love sex! I may be young and yes I know right from wrong. And my situation may be so wrong...but you know everybody has situations where they are so wrong but it feels so right! Well yea I'm kinda in that boat. I feel for his gf I really do. And I hate that he's doing this to her. Even if she doesn't know...it's the principle. I couldn't ever imagine for somebody to do me like this. But like I said I'm not forcing him to do this. He's not just some dude I fuck on occasions. We are also friends. We talk about everything. And I'm not trying to slide away from being this as y'all call it "side chick" spot...and I'm also not trying to ease my way into a as y'all call it "main chick" spot either. But he's a grown ass man. And as many times as he told me how guilty he has felt after we would meet up. I would tell him we can stop without any problems. But he still comes back. Not saying that it's anything more then what he's telling me. But he has a girl that he can fuck all he wants. Any day...anytime. He told me he loves her. And I know he does. My question is...why does he keep coming back! He has a girl he can make love to. Which is better then sex. You guys think y'all are confused. How do y'all think I feel? This whole situation is fucked up. I care about him. It would be so much easier to tell him to fuck off...but wclick to expand
He is not your friend. You just think you're friends.
Imagine this. Your mom dies...will he be at the funeral with you? Your car breaks down one hour away. You want company at dinner. Will he eat in public with you? Will he come get you? You need a ride to the airport. Will he do this? Your house floods/earthquake/tornado/fire. Will he be there to help you physically and mentally? You have to move. Will he show up on moving day? You're in the hospital. Does he come visit? You may say yes, in reality, the answer is probably no.
Hun, you can't even call him without him getting upset. You're not friends. Friends show up. Friends receive phone calls. You are kidding yourself.
So, you're not friends. You're not in a relationship - he has told you this over and over and over. So what is it that you're wanting to hang on to? Sex? That's all you have left.
Your question was why does he come back? Why do you think he comes back? He's horny. That's it.
Imagine this. Your mom dies...will he be at the funeral with you? Your car breaks down one hour away. You want company at dinner. Will he eat in public with you? Will he come get you? You need a ride to the airport. Will he do this? Your house floods/earthquake/tornado/fire. Will he be there to help you physically and mentally? You have to move. Will he show up on moving day? You're in the hospital. Does he come visit? You may say yes, in reality, the answer is probably no.
Hun, you can't even call him without him getting upset. You're not friends. Friends show up. Friends receive phone calls. You are kidding yourself.
So, you're not friends. You're not in a relationship - he has told you this over and over and over. So what is it that you're wanting to hang on to? Sex? That's all you have left.
Your question was why does he come back? Why do you think he comes back? He's horny. That's it.
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