stay or let it go

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by libra24 on Monday, March 16, 2015 and has 36 replies.
Hi it's been like a year since I've posted anything...well i just wanted to share my updated cap story , it's been 2 years and my cap us still doing the same thing....disappearing, and only seem to get at me when he wants...since the charades with him I've been going on dates...still can't get him off my mind...like what am i missing ( when i check into reality) i tell myself you can't miss something you never had...right?? I did recently sleep with him,very hard for me to resist...but i promise I'm done (lord help me) haven't heard from him...i asked him if he wanted to go to a festival with me a week after we slept together, at first he sounded interested but ....he always has an excuse...so i still went.. any how i deleted him from my fb....i realized i can't just be his friend. ...it hurts me too bad, i have feelings for him ( could be love) so i rather exit him out of my life....there's a saying that some people come in your life for either a reason or season.... and i definitely believe that this Capricorn is definitely a season. Can you guys tell me if I'm doing the right thing....I'm 26 and he is 38 with 3 kids, me no kids.... i told him last time we were having sex that i love him....he just held me....my heart does wanna stay but I'm so sick of his bs...i deserve better....I'm starting to hate caps sorry it's s just been a roller coaster. ..i know we're not together, like i know I'M not his woman....i definitely don't want to be a fwb...i want more from him , i expressed that to cap guy 2 years ago....all i get from him is that we're friends. Does it take you caps 2 years to decide if you want more with a person. ...gesssh....this can't be love. ...cause love won't have tears coming from your eyes like it is right now as I'm writing this post at approximately at 2:29 am...yes i said am I'm in my feelings. ..yea feelings enough That i just realized that this cap man don't care about me cause if he did. ..here is where he will want to be at....no instead i gets nothing...no calls no texts... yea i know you're guys aren't emotional. ..plz cap men or woman give me your best advice
details
Why are you behaving like an idiot?
I'm sorry, but you knew TWO years ago that this was what the dude was offering, but you stuck around, expecting more.
He's been taking advantage of you because of that age gap. Congrats, you've been his piece of ass for 2 years, expecting more from him.
If you don't want to be a FWB, stop fucking him and ditch him for good. Are you doing the right thing? Yes. All you want is someone to tell you to stay and that he secretly wants you.
Sorry, honey, that's not the case at all. Come on now, you deserve better. Why the hell do you think you need to settle with this creep? Caps aren't known for being the users of the zodiac for nothing.
details
I do agree with rockyroad 100%
Listen libra, you did the right thing by cutting him out of your life completely, this guy is obviously NO GOOD if he's been jerking you around for 2 years. You need to take a step back from this situation and gain some much needed perspective. You are 26 years old, you are a grown ass adult who knows right from wrong and yet you're still letting someone treat you this way...my dear that says a lot more about how you feel about yourself than anything else if you're willing to tolerate this guy's bullshit treatment, especially for such an extended period of time. You need to gain some self respect and see yourself in a higher light, this man is no prize, YOU are. LET HIM GO, take this as a valuable lesson learned and absolutely NEVER let any man treat you with such complete disregard ever again. You need to love yourself dude, plain and simple, for if you really did you wouldn't allow anyone to mistreat you so blatantly. Our hearts are often misguided and can lead us down some murky paths, that seems to be the case here. You've let your heart overrule all else, which is not a wise decision, there must a balance between using your head and your heart. You are better off without him, and I genuinely hope you are able to see that.
details
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Why are you behaving like an idiot?
I'm sorry, but you knew TWO years ago that this was what the dude was offering, but you stuck around, expecting more.
He's been taking advantage of you because of that age gap. Congrats, you've been his piece of ass for 2 years, expecting more from him.
If you don't want to be a FWB, stop fucking him and ditch him for good. Are you doing the right thing? Yes. All you want is someone to tell you to stay and that he secretly wants you.
Sorry, honey, that's not the case at all. Come on now, you deserve better. Why the hell do you think you need to settle with this creep? Caps aren't known for being the users of the zodiac for nothing.


I think that covers it!
Erase the man from your life. You'll never get what you want and will always be in pain of your own doing.
details
@rockyroadicecream thanks for your honesty... i have not been seeing the big picture. ..and making excuses. .
details
Posted by libra24
@rockyroadicecream thanks for your honesty... i have not been seeing the big picture. ..and making excuses. .


Yes you have. I read your post history. You have been very aware, say you deleted him from Facebook, and admitted that you should drop him (this was the last one that I read).
But over the span of the last year or so, you've come back, with posts just like this one, wondering if he's going to change. What the hell makes you change your stance of dropping the guy to riding his dick again and expecting a relationship? It'd be one thing if you were doing it just as a source of getting laid, but you're not even doing that. You seem to think that each time you guys have sex, you're going to get that coveted relationship status from the guy.
Guys don't function like that. You cannot expect girlfriend status because he'll have sex with you. I can't even begin to understand why you continued to think that he wants a relationship when you stated you knew he didn't want one, and that on multiple occasions here on DXP, you were told that he didn't want one based on how he treated you. Yet here you are again, repeating the exact same 2-3 posts, wondering if he really loves you.
What is that all about? It's like you are incapable of learning and just keep going back for more, expecting a different outcome. You do realize that's the definition of insanity, right?
Sorry, no dick is worth all that hassle.
You need to do some digging and figure out why you're so damned damaged that you think that tolerating this shit is okay. Don't date, take up a fricken hobby/keep occupied with something else, do you for awhile, and figure yourself out until you're truly happy with yourself. Until then, you're going to keep accepting this loser into your life out of pathetic desperation. You can do better and you deserve better.
I also noticed that some people didn't really help YOU any by giving you glimmers of hope by answering Cap related questions ("yeah, they do that, so it's somewhat acceptable to see this type of behavoir"). Cut that crap. This guy is just a classic user that keeps you around as an option to get laid. That's all there is to it. If you don't want to be an option solely for sex, then move on. Dude has clearly showed he's not going to change.
details
@rockyroadicecream...i guess you're right...i mean when i first started talking to him....after sex i did catch feelings, i should've walked away... (hard headed)..guess i had to learn the hard way...cause i'm back on this site again....you mentioned that
What is that all about? It's like you are incapable of learning and just keep going back for more, expecting a different outcome. You do realize that's the definition of insanity, right?
you are right doesn't matter what i do the outcome still remains the fact that he doesn't see me that way...but the thing is ..is that i don't sleep with him on the regular like that....tbh i'm just excited to move the hell on...what do you think will happen now that i've decided to move on, deleted his number as well as him being on my fb?
details
You can't make someone feel something. They either feel it or they don't. His actions show he doesn't. It's not personal, he's just not feeling it.
You're doing the right thing. This will give you an opportunity to move on and find someone who does feel it for you.
Stay strong and know that something better is around the corner.
details
Posted by libra24
@rockyroadicecream...i guess you're right...i mean when i first started talking to him....after sex i did catch feelings, i should've walked away... (hard headed)..guess i had to learn the hard way...cause i'm back on this site again....you mentioned that
What is that all about? It's like you are incapable of learning and just keep going back for more, expecting a different outcome. You do realize that's the definition of insanity, right?
you are right doesn't matter what i do the outcome still remains the fact that he doesn't see me that way...but the thing is ..is that i don't sleep with him on the regular like that....tbh i'm just excited to move the hell on...what do you think will happen now that i've decided to move on, deleted his number as well as him being on my fb?



What will happen? Are you seriously asking that? It doesn't matter what he does or doesn't do anymore. He's gone.
What will happen is you will move on and find someone else who does feel it for you.
details
ok truecap
details
Posted by libra24
@rockyroadicecream...i guess you're right...i mean when i first started talking to him....after sex i did catch feelings, i should've walked away... (hard headed)..guess i had to learn the hard way...cause i'm back on this site again....you mentioned that
What is that all about? It's like you are incapable of learning and just keep going back for more, expecting a different outcome. You do realize that's the definition of insanity, right?
you are right doesn't matter what i do the outcome still remains the fact that he doesn't see me that way...but the thing is ..is that i don't sleep with him on the regular like that....tbh i'm just excited to move the hell on...what do you think will happen now that i've decided to move on, deleted his number as well as him being on my fb?



What will happen?
You will feel amazing that you got rid of such a leech in your life and that you can move on, that's what will happen.
I had a Cap FWB a few years ago who was just a douche and I was over it. When I cut that asshole free, I felt amazing. Such a freeing feeling to get rid of such a toxic person. You should try it sometime. ...Sometime being now, really.
details
WOW ROCKROADICECREAM....WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? AND GOOD FOR YOU THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO MOVE ON...IT IS A DAY BY PROCESS... BUT IT'S NOT A HARD TASK AS I DID'NT THINK I CAN ERASE HIM OUT OF MY MEMORY....BUT THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL OF YOUR INPUT. AND SUGARFOOT...STICKING TO MY GUNS IS NOT EVEN A QUESTION....YET I FEEL LIKE HE WILL REALIZE THAT I'M NOT TEXTING HIM...HOW DO I DEAL WHEN THAT TIME COMES. I MEAN DO I RESPOND AND BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT THE SITUATION OR DO I IGNORE BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T WANNA DEAL WITH HIM?
details
@SUGARFOOT ABSOLUTELY RIGHT
details
it's been 2 weeks today i haven't contacted him and he sure has not contacted me....why does it take you guys (caps) along time to reach out or is it because i'm not important...just curious to know.
details
Posted by libra24
it's been 2 weeks today i haven't contacted him and he sure has not contacted me....why does it take you guys (caps) along time to reach out or is it because i'm not important...just curious to know.


Please don't take this as if I'm being mean. I'm just being honest.
In a dating situation, if I'm not reaching out to you, you're not that important to me. I take time for people I'm interested in.
Now, I will say this, too, though. If I made myself vulnerable to you, opened up or shared something personal, I'll wait on you to see what you do with it. Or if I think you're not interested, I'll back off. Otherwise, it's not that important.
details
From one gal to another: When I was dating, two weeks without contact was my cut off, a deal breaker, so to speak. So, if they contact me after that time frame, I would be friendly, but I didn't take them seriously. I'd already moved on mentally.
details
Hello everyone ok Capricorn guy just text me approximately at 9:30 p.m. his words were In a text.. you doing alright friend, now it's actually been two weeks and 3 days as of today so that will make it 17 days in total I don't know why this seems to be a pattern but I'm sticking to my gunz...@ rockyroadicecream and @ truecap what do i do? I want his respect...any advice?
details
@erin358 thanks and i won't
details
libra24 sorry to hear about your experiences with this Cap.
I think the best thing you can do is to stop responding to him at this point and move on!
Do not be a placeholder for this guy because you could be waiting forever for very little if any returns. He either loves you or he doesn't, and if he didn't reply when you said you did then he doesn't. Sorry!
I've heard my Cap talk about girls in the past that he was not serious about - it was just for fun, not serious and he let it be known, and not consistent contact. His ex whom he was with for 8 years did and does a lot for him, and he still never loved her.
My suggestion is to take your lovely Libra self out somewhere, and turn on that charm for a better guy smile

details
Thanks sunmoonstars i agree. .. somethings and people aren't meant to be..lesson learned. ..but i feel good lol
details
Erin358 thanks for the advice will keep that definitely in mind....(libra)
details
Posted by libra24
Hello everyone ok Capricorn guy just text me approximately at 9:30 p.m. his words were In a text.. you doing alright friend, now it's actually been two weeks and 3 days as of today so that will make it 17 days in total I don't know why this seems to be a pattern but I'm sticking to my gunz...@ rockyroadicecream and @ truecap what do i do? I want his respect...any advice?


Notice how he made a point to say "friend"? You doing alright friend,? rather than just you doing alright? He didn't want you to misinterpret anything by his contact.
I agree, don't sleep with him anymore. He only sees you as a friend.
It's okay to be friendly when he texts you. Just don't make him a serious option. He could end up being a really good friend though, if you can handle that.
details
Posted by erins358
I guess you cant swear on here lol, because butter was not the work I used


You have to turn on the option to be able to see those words. I think they change them because not everyone wants to read them. DXP gives you a choice, which is nice, I think. Can't remember where the option is, though. Maybe in settings on your page?
details
@TRUECAP YEA HE MOSTLY EMPHASISE FRIEND AT THE END OF THE SENTENCE....AT FIRST I THOUGHT HE WAS BEING FUNNY...BUT LIKE YOU SAID HE COULD'VE SAID HOW YOU DOING. I CAN'T HANDLE JUST BEING HIS FRIEND SO I DON'T WANNA STICK AROUND FOR THAT....IF HE DON'T SEE MORE AS A FRIEND AFTER 2 YEARS NOW ....THEN HE JUST DON'T...BUT I'VE MADE UP MY MIND TO JUST MOVE ON....SO I'M NOT GONNA ANSWER ANY OF HIS TEXT OR PHONE CALLS...I'VE ALREADY BLOCKED HIM FROM MY FACEBOOK..IS THAT RUDE? TRUECAP WHAT DO CAPS PREFER TO BE HONEST AND TELL HIM I CAN'T BE HIS FRIEND, OR IGNORE AND MOVE ON WILL BE THE BETTER SOLUTION.
details
Posted by libra24
@TRUECAP YEA HE MOSTLY EMPHASISE FRIEND AT THE END OF THE SENTENCE....AT FIRST I THOUGHT HE WAS BEING FUNNY...BUT LIKE YOU SAID HE COULD'VE SAID HOW YOU DOING. I CAN'T HANDLE JUST BEING HIS FRIEND SO I DON'T WANNA STICK AROUND FOR THAT....IF HE DON'T SEE MORE AS A FRIEND AFTER 2 YEARS NOW ....THEN HE JUST DON'T...BUT I'VE MADE UP MY MIND TO JUST MOVE ON....SO I'M NOT GONNA ANSWER ANY OF HIS TEXT OR PHONE CALLS...I'VE ALREADY BLOCKED HIM FROM MY FACEBOOK..IS THAT RUDE? TRUECAP WHAT DO CAPS PREFER TO BE HONEST AND TELL HIM I CAN'T BE HIS FRIEND, OR IGNORE AND MOVE ON WILL BE THE BETTER SOLUTION.


I can't speak for all the caps, but I would prefer the honesty.
details
ok well said
details
lol @thinktoomuch thanks for your advice...well if that's all the kitty is willing to give me then i don't want the kitty.....
details
Are u guys sure it will get better....i still think about him...me and my sister was talking today and she told me that it won't get better. ..if it hasn't in 2 years....so what now ...i mean i been occupied. .but still sometimes. ..i think...any how after today is finished....it will be 4 days i haven't contacted or responded to him....the process ...
details
Posted by libra24
Are u guys sure it will get better....i still think about him...me and my sister was talking today and she told me that it won't get better. ..if it hasn't in 2 years....so what now ...i mean i been occupied. .but still sometimes. ..i think...any how after today is finished....it will be 4 days i haven't contacted or responded to him....the process ...


FFS girl...
It's only been 4 days. Of course it's hard. That feeling won't disappear for at least a few months.
But there is one thing that I can tell you: HE. WON'T. CHANGE.
If he wanted to leave his wife for you he already would have. You have just been a tasty snack on the side because you allowed him to. Caps have a tendency to take what they can if nobody stops them.
You didn't stop him.
Then there is this:
Posted by libra24
@rockyroadicecream...i guess you're right...i mean when i first started talking to him....after sex i did catch feelings, i should've walked away... (hard headed)..guess i had to learn the hard way

click to expand


That is anything but hard headed. That's being weak. Being too forgiving.
My Libra sister did a similar thing.
She is still with the guy that once threatened to kill himself if she left him and that he "would see her in hell".
But as she told me recently, she still feels deeply in love with the guy even though he is a manipulative user. Still is.
Must be a Libra thing.
I would have told him to go ahead and not feel the least bit sorry if he went through with it.
It would have even strengthened my conviction of ditching someone. Must be a Cap thing.
Stop grasping at every single glimmer of hope that he might change.
Men (and people in general) won't change unless they want to. And he has given you nothing that can be taken as an indication that he will.
Ditch him, close off all contact and forcefully keep him out of your life.
In the end it will get better. Better for you.
details
Tigercap nice to have a cap guy's response...wow i hope your sister gets the courage to move on....i do know in any situation not only with caps that their is a healing process...i acknowledge my problem and situation....that's why i decided to share and start moving on....he is not married it's his baby mom who he was with for 6 years....not together for 3 years now...and yes i know it will it's just the process...i mean i date guys in stuff....but he be in the back of my mind....like i wish he we step it up...now i know it's not going to happen. ..so i have to do whats best for me...i do have enough self dignity to know god will send me someone in due time, when the time is right...but hey if i didn't make this mistake i won't k ow what s real man will feel like....experience. .live and learn from them...just glad i have the strength to move on...thanks tigercap..next tome i will make sure i read the signs and know when a man say he Don't want a relationship he doesn't...a choice to leave or stay..I'm putting myself first.....i 'll get there things take time. .
details
SO I WAS IN MY FEELINGS AND I DECIDED TO SEND THIS TO CAP A FEW HOURS AGO.....I THINK HONESTY IS BETTER AM I WRONG FOR SENDING?......Never mind don't worry about it..i ll just let you be.....it's all good...so i ll just tell you how i feel since honesty is always best....you sex me then disappear......yea 17 days. .....i guess i mean NOTHING to you...i accept that....you don't call you hardly text, i expressed to you how i feel you disappear...but hey you have no ties with me...so i guess u feel it's kool...yea you HURT me.... ....Just so you know ...but it's kool.. ....your prerogative. ...i can't just be your friend, friends don't make love to each other. ...every time i invite you some where you always make up an excuse on why you can't, you wanna play games...I'm not trying to play with you....it's clear that you don't wanna be bothered. .....I'm gonna be woman enough to let you do you....you're still in love with her and even if you're not your action is clear to me....thanks for showing me what a real man is about......you're right you're no good for me...I'm tired of the lies...you can't even be man enough to tell me you're not into me.... i get it...i 'll stay out of your life....just had to get this off my chest...I'm not GONNA give you 100% why you're giving 10% not gonna happen....yes i did tell you i loved you....that's what i meant...you obviously don't feel the same...it's kool it be like that sometimes. ..IF YOU WAS A REAL ASS dude YOU WOULD'VE SAID SOMETHING. .....
details
Lol yea i had to get that off my chest..i feel a lot better...so true nasha82
details
I can't imagine letting someone like him know he hurt me that bad. I'd rather let someone who disappeared think they didn't leave much power or left that much of an impact on me because obviously they doesn't care how he made you feel. Ehh, but that's me.
I'm glad you feel better and hope you got some closure from it.
details
@truecap yea sometimes. ...in this situation. ..i felt like just be honest..once i sent him the text message he never responded back so i left it alone. ..how did i end up in this situation. ..i mean why can't he just say I'm not into you? Thought caps were honest straight forward people.
details
Posted by nasha82
@Truecap sometimes not letting some one know when they have pushed your buttons like hurting you etc just makes them push it twice as hard next time, its better to release how you feel than to bottle it up because burns deep inside you and makes project your dark and bitter feelings onto the next person, but thats just my opinion


I get that, if it is a current relationship...you hurt me because. BUT if someone had little respect for me and disappeared on me for 17+ days?? I don't want them to know they pushed my buttons. Oh, I'd make one attempt, only one, to approach them, but if they don't respond, there's NO WAY I'd let them know they hurt me like that. It gives them power they don't deserve.
details
Posted by libra24
@truecap yea sometimes. ...in this situation. ..i felt like just be honest..once i sent him the text message he never responded back so i left it alone. ..how did i end up in this situation. ..i mean why can't he just say I'm not into you? Thought caps were honest straight forward people.


When I was younger, I would just drift off and eventually disappear. Caps are straight forward, but some caps want to avoid a confrontation. I know there's no excuse in that and I feel bad for how I acted when I was young. I think the directness comes more with practice and age.
details
Home Astrology Comments Forums Images Search

©1997-2025 dxpnet.com. All Rights Reserved.
Advertising Contact Terms of Use Privacy Policy