VDay roll call

Hey... let's all log in AFTER tomorrow w/ what transpires with your Cap. on VDay!<BR> <BR> Not a competition, by any means, just to give us all a comparison of our respective BEASTS! LOL ; )<BR> <BR>...

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by CapGirl on Monday, February 13, 2006 and has 73 replies.
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pathfinder, yes i did really love him and went through almost 4 years of the back and forth stuff, in which time i went through the MOST anxiety and stress i've EVER been through, and i would shut the door, and re-open it so many times it was like one of those revolving doors...but finally reached a point of no return, just couldn't do it anymore, i had cut myself off from just about everyone, and ended up feeling so empty and rag-dollish. he eventually moved far away...and since then i've spent a year rebounding so to speak...it's interesting that they can basically ruin you for someone else, i guess that's why i speak so strongly about not taking it anymore. yes i was unbelievably hurt...and all my friends would just look at me funny because they just couldn't get why i was so upset...THEY did not see him as i did..but i've read it here how many of them are wounded so deeply themselves, i know i'm rambling but it's early and i have to get to work, interesting though that now i've got some self esteem and self respect back i'm able to be so available and competent, not waiting around for "the master" to summon me. In a nutshell, i think i've come to accept that "true love DOES NOT conquer all" sometimes it's just not meant to be
well here is my update on last night, he did cancel because he had to study for a test which i didnt belive. the funny thing though is that he kept calling me every 1/2 hour until we both went to bed. what is that all about... I dont know, I dont get them and im not going to try because if i do i will go insane lol.
but if any one knows whats up with this attitude please let me know
APW, you have been through alot, I see, you were really in love with him. Did his moving far away help your resolve to leave him alone? Would you be this strong if he was still in the same location he was when you were dealing with him? I ask b/c when I was through with someone, I'm pretty much indifferent about them. They can't arouse any emotion in me, not hurt, anger, love, nothing. I guess I'm just amazed that you can still talk about him so much, for me, that would keep him on mind and it would be hard to move on. BTW, I believe that true love does conquer all, unfortunately it doesn't compel people to love us back the same way we love them. I think it helps us to accept their choice, don't hate, and let them go.
yes it helped him moving away but he continued to call for months and months...and no, i seem to be incapable of becoming indifferent...yet.. and i say yet because i will get there, he had a HUGE impact on my life obviously...i had more fun with him than anyone ever, and as we all have said here, when he was with me he was totally with me, and when everything was the BEST that it could be he would run like hell. I am not like that, when things are good I can't understand the need to flee, and the reason i talk about him so much is because if you read the old posts i recently started seeing another cap man back in oct for 3 months and after all the wining dining and wooing the same crap started once he knew he HAD me...and i cut it off, not willing to go through months years whatever of the same old stuff, learn from our mistakes right? i just couldn't do it to myself again, which is when i found this board, cap men sucks. because i was really starting to like this new guy, but found out pretty quickly that it would be the same old routine, history repeating itself.
and if the old guy was still around me, i hate to admit it but i would probably still be doing the dance, that's why i had to end it with the new guy, these kinds of guys are as addictive and dangerous to me as heroin
APW~
I relate... I tried to physically get away from my Cap. First, I changed parking spaces, bc. we parked side-by-side in the basement garage and I knew when he was home or gone and I also had a clear view right inside his car in getting in and out of mine every day (his was to the left of mine). Then, I moved out of that apt. bldg. a few months later, which was only in small part due to the Cap. Next, I changed my cell number (ruined that though myself later).
I won't change cities over the b'tard, but telling him I'm dating on match.com or even now engaged would be something I'd consider next. But... I think I'm really getting over him!!!!
yes me too although it does take time and...as much as I really really really hate to admit it, the best way still to get over someone IS to have someone new. for me...sad but true
Virgo1881,
I don't know what to tell you about his games, but I hope you didn't answer the phone.
Virgo1881-- My only advice would be that if you're going to hang in there w/ him, don't give up the sex until he shows reliability and true interest, or else you're in deeper and he's got nothing to work for.
My update - really depressing V-Day...
After leavin a message 1 1/2 ago and getting no response. I see him on the dating site and Messenger shortly after. So he's out chasing...I really don't understand why he called me and then does not return my call. Especially since he knows I don't want anything serious right now.
With me losing my job this week...I wished I had not seen him online last night...it really put my spirit on the floor.
I know...I need to put my energy on finding a new job...
mcshaker, wondering if we were dating the same man?...he just LOVES the dating site, like a kid in a candy store, soooooooooooo many women, not enough time... i'd see him on there all the time, that's what made me end it, knowing he was not going to "settle" for just one, and as i told him, in this day and age it's not only degrading to be sleeping around but dangerous, his angry retort was that after the intial wooing things naturally calmed down and yes, he goes out with a lot of women. i stated i did not want to be just another name on his list, but i have a name for these guys on the dating sites, "trollers" they throw in the lines and see how many they can catch.
Hey APW, I'm wondering if after him being on the site for awhile and going after so many women, he will wind up being alone anyway? Sooner or later, the women will get wise to him and he will be labeled "LOSER!" Yes, even the "loose chicks" will get tired of his "played" a/s/s, unless he is dishing out some cash! LOL! What do you think?
LOL pathfinder, one can only hope, oh believe me i've had those thoughts myself many times, i'm not wishing any REAL harm on him but i believe our own karma catches up to us, and his is getting pretty bad, yeah...there's real possibilities here for someone to let's say, end up pregnant and sue for child support, when he's already paying out the nose to his ex-wife who he thinks is a real b---ch because she divorced him after finding out he cheated on her for over a year, and she doesn't like him much and he can't figure it out LOL
APW, he is definitely a LOSER! Good riddance!!!
No S----T, that's why sometimes i just laugh at myself if i'm not too angry at myself, but they can sweet talk you soooooooooo well, you're the best, you mean so much to me, i love being with you, i've never felt this way, and then they look deep into your eyes so soulfully as they make love to you making you feel like you're the most special thing on the planet.
i think that's why i said what i said to geg, as i said not being mean, but at any age, some of these guys(NOT ALL) let me stress that so i don't step on anyone's toes, are real good con-artists, whether they're 20 or 100, they've got a line of bull that can really get you. they wouldn't be good at it if they were obvious
and yes i'm glad i recognized his crap within 3 months instead of 3-4 years like my old cap
thanks for the advice, I actually havent done anything with him, He is taking really slow so he has not tried and I have not tried either. Its been 2 months and the most we have done is kiss,he is introducing me to his family and friends and those close to him faster then trying to be intimate... which is different to me i guess
I'm laughting at your guys' talk about the dating sites. I have guy friends that are on Match.com and they call it Snatch.com and they are on there saying they want serious relationships when all they are really trying to do is get as much bootie as they can.
you said it in a nutshell gslove, no pun intended. that's a great name for it, and oh so true, they all have these long soulful profiles, "looking for that one special woman" soulmate, and on and on...it's hysterical, and then as you said, they just troll away. I read an article recently saying that very same thing, but of course not as bluntly as you put it, but most women on those ARE looking for one guy, and most men are looking for MANY MANY MANY women, like i said, kids in a candy store, i can almost picture them with lists checking them off like santa claus seeing who's naughty or nice
Oh pish-posh! I know there's serial daters on there, but to be deliberately seeking strictly sexual encounters thru that site, I don't think that's the majority of men on there. It's far easier to hit the bars and prey on loose, drunk women than to spend time emailing, and dating a woman looking for love/relationship. I have put "No casual daters please" at the end of my profile. I steer clear of the jocks, too goodlooking ones, never married and over 35, and I'm focusing on the geekier, intellectual dudes. Lol. Haven't run across one Cap. yet! Hurrah. Leos, Pisces, Aquaruis (ick), seem to be the frequent ones for me so far. ???
I did hear that there are more men on those dating sites than women. I'm inclined to believe that. I go to singles events and there weren't that many older men there UNTIL a website was developed, then they started coming out by the droves. They saw the women on the site, exchanged emails or phone numbers, and started showing up for events. I go on the site now, and there are so many people on it, it is really something.
And I'm sorry, but alot of those guys are looking for "booty" and this is just a "new" and better way of doing it w/o going to bars. Men know that most of the "good" women are not hanging out at bars, so they go to these websites. What's $ 25-40 bucks a month? He spends more than that on dinners and/or drinks in one date. On these websites, there are more women at their fingertips than at ANY bar, therefore: they [men] can check out her boobs, butt, smile and whatever else she chooses to show on the website. Plus, she tells a little story about herself, so if the guy reads her bio, he doesn't have to use a "line" while getting to know her and she may think he is really interested in her.
With that in mind, a woman should be pretty savvy dealing with the guys who contact her. Separating the frogs from the prince! CapGirl, your approach sounds good. I am surprised you haven't met a cappy yet, though ... this seems like a venue they would love.
Online dating sites could be the new concept of "Ladies Night" at night clubs. You know, they charge women less or no charge up to a certain time, to lure the men out. Men spend money at bars, women don't. Men will spend money to meet women, and I'll bet these sites are making a megabucks.
************ THREAD CLOSED/ Resume disc. in "POST HERE" thread ********************
CapGirl, what are you doing? Talk about CONTROLLLLL!!! How are you going to close a thread? I am sssssooo scared of you..... LOL!
************* BOOOOOO!!! POST HERE again & I'll get ya!! ****************
Tongue

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