Will I ever hear from my gem guy again?
This topic was created in the Gemini forum by taurus/gemBabe on Saturday, June 14, 2014 and has 21 replies.
Hi I'm a Taurus/Gem cusper in love with a Gem guy. Please give me some insight on my situation.
I met this guy at a dating site a couple of months ago. I was not really into him at first but slowly it becomes more and more serious. It was hard to meet. He had a crazy work schedule. It's long and he doesn't get day off much. Finally, we meet at 10pm near his work place, had a nice dinner and made out at a park. The chemistry was off the chart. He invited me to his place(he's French) but I declined. After that his text and call becomes less and less. He warned me that he will get really busy during the holiday. He's a manager at a 5 star hotel. But after he didnt text me back after 5 days. I was truly hurt so I decided to move on and blocked him. I did it so I can move on.
After a month it was his birthday, I was a little drunk, texted him happy birthday and we got back together. He said he was really sad that I stopped communicating with him, said he was busy etc. well he was still busy but kept calling and texting. Finally found a day to meet. We were really looking forward to it. We said we like each other and was going to sleep together at his place. But he fell sick but still met me. He said he has to work tomorrow too so would not like me to stay the night cuz he said he doesn't want to infect me. I was really bummed. We fooled around. I gave him bj whatnot. After he came I asked if I could sleep on the sofa cuz it was late and pouring outside. He didnt say anything so I sadly put on my clothes and left.
We didnt contact each other for 2 days then I felt I was wrong too because I insist to stay even after he said he was sick and would not like me to stay the night. So I texted and apologize. I said when he is jot mad at me and the situation anymore, I will be here. I tried to call once too. And that was it. I haven't heard from him for a week now. Will I ever hear from him? Was i so wrong? What happened to the guy who told me he really really like me?
I met this guy at a dating site a couple of months ago. I was not really into him at first but slowly it becomes more and more serious. It was hard to meet. He had a crazy work schedule. It's long and he doesn't get day off much. Finally, we meet at 10pm near his work place, had a nice dinner and made out at a park. The chemistry was off the chart. He invited me to his place(he's French) but I declined. After that his text and call becomes less and less. He warned me that he will get really busy during the holiday. He's a manager at a 5 star hotel. But after he didnt text me back after 5 days. I was truly hurt so I decided to move on and blocked him. I did it so I can move on.
After a month it was his birthday, I was a little drunk, texted him happy birthday and we got back together. He said he was really sad that I stopped communicating with him, said he was busy etc. well he was still busy but kept calling and texting. Finally found a day to meet. We were really looking forward to it. We said we like each other and was going to sleep together at his place. But he fell sick but still met me. He said he has to work tomorrow too so would not like me to stay the night cuz he said he doesn't want to infect me. I was really bummed. We fooled around. I gave him bj whatnot. After he came I asked if I could sleep on the sofa cuz it was late and pouring outside. He didnt say anything so I sadly put on my clothes and left.
We didnt contact each other for 2 days then I felt I was wrong too because I insist to stay even after he said he was sick and would not like me to stay the night. So I texted and apologize. I said when he is jot mad at me and the situation anymore, I will be here. I tried to call once too. And that was it. I haven't heard from him for a week now. Will I ever hear from him? Was i so wrong? What happened to the guy who told me he really really like me?
It really does seem like a typical "he was only after 1 thing" scenario.. Of course, he would say nice things.. words are cheap and easy to get what he wants.
He does not seem to imply any long term prospects and seems to be after a bit of a fling/fun and he may have just seen you as easy "bait".
Though, be assured, there's nothing inadequate/wrong with you, just that he probably wasn't looking for anything serious with anyone probably..so even if the most perfect person came along, he'd probably still behave the same..
The busy thing seems a polite excuse to tell you that he didn't want anything long-term.
Sorry to have to say this but your situation does seem to imply that and you may be better off moving on IF you want something serious.
Hope that helps
He does not seem to imply any long term prospects and seems to be after a bit of a fling/fun and he may have just seen you as easy "bait".
Though, be assured, there's nothing inadequate/wrong with you, just that he probably wasn't looking for anything serious with anyone probably..so even if the most perfect person came along, he'd probably still behave the same..
The busy thing seems a polite excuse to tell you that he didn't want anything long-term.
Sorry to have to say this but your situation does seem to imply that and you may be better off moving on IF you want something serious.
Hope that helps
he will be back.. for another bj
he will be back.. for another bj
Thank you all...you're really helping me.
Aj123 - everyone who works in hospitality tells me that he is telling the truth that it can get really busy. He tried to explain to me about hiw busy his work is, how he wishes for a day off that he didn't even have time to contact his family. He said sorry many times. Maybe I'm the one who is not understanding him. When I met him he looked really tired.
Foxglove - thank you for telling me I didn't do anything wrong. I really needed to hear that. I think the fact that I ignored the fact that he doesn't want me to stay made him mad and I asked to stay right after BJ made it seems like manipulation.
Crabberies
Aj123 - everyone who works in hospitality tells me that he is telling the truth that it can get really busy. He tried to explain to me about hiw busy his work is, how he wishes for a day off that he didn't even have time to contact his family. He said sorry many times. Maybe I'm the one who is not understanding him. When I met him he looked really tired.
Foxglove - thank you for telling me I didn't do anything wrong. I really needed to hear that. I think the fact that I ignored the fact that he doesn't want me to stay made him mad and I asked to stay right after BJ made it seems like manipulation.
Crabberies
Crabberies - BJ is nothing, we didn't even have sex. Why would he leave after a BJ? That's not even the best part. Did I mentioned I swallowed?
well.. in my experience and what I observed about gemini men , they prefer the challenge to be the chaser.. keep it friendly.. they want what we called trill? yes i believe, ima gemini cusper too. Hope you be fine. So better luck with next gem ps. Dont bj too soon LoL ... if u are looking for somethin serious
Wow you must be a new breed of 3itch, lust. Cuz I've never seen the like of you. Your bf is right to tell you to go easy cuz your 3itchness is off the charts.
First of all, "i" have not decided to make him my bf or not. I don't give BJ after a measured time for the purpose of making him my bf. In fact, it might not make sense to someone of your capacity but I'm doing it because I love doing it. I fantasize giving him a BJ.
I'm a very sexual woman, and I don't follow any stupid rule. I'm not sure about him thinking I was easy because we were chatting and texting for sometime and talk about all our fantasies. He was just as sexual. In fact he said he loved that I was a sensual woman. I don't think it's an issue of me being easy. But if he does think that than he is not the one for me. I'm just really bummed. I thought I'm meeting a guy who is on my level.
And yes ofc I posted here for honest opinion not 3itchiness is not welcomed. Surely someone thought you to convey opinion without being rude.
First of all, "i" have not decided to make him my bf or not. I don't give BJ after a measured time for the purpose of making him my bf. In fact, it might not make sense to someone of your capacity but I'm doing it because I love doing it. I fantasize giving him a BJ.
I'm a very sexual woman, and I don't follow any stupid rule. I'm not sure about him thinking I was easy because we were chatting and texting for sometime and talk about all our fantasies. He was just as sexual. In fact he said he loved that I was a sensual woman. I don't think it's an issue of me being easy. But if he does think that than he is not the one for me. I'm just really bummed. I thought I'm meeting a guy who is on my level.
And yes ofc I posted here for honest opinion not 3itchiness is not welcomed. Surely someone thought you to convey opinion without being rude.
Foxglove - I also think the "You gave it up too easily" is really stupid. I'm glad you understood where I'm coming from. Anyway, he's French so I believe they're more open minded and understands women sexuality.
Answer to your question, he did try to pleasure me while I gave him BJ. He didn't ask me to leave after BJ. He told he I shouldn't stay the night because he's dick and when he's sick he feels uncomfortable sleeping with someone. So I felt I was wrong to press the issue.
He also wanted me to stay and go out the next morning together. He told me so before he got sick...
Answer to your question, he did try to pleasure me while I gave him BJ. He didn't ask me to leave after BJ. He told he I shouldn't stay the night because he's dick and when he's sick he feels uncomfortable sleeping with someone. So I felt I was wrong to press the issue.
He also wanted me to stay and go out the next morning together. He told me so before he got sick...
*i meant he's sick lol
ok., but aren't u afraid of std's
Erm ... Please do t go off topic and ask 5tupid question. Everyone is afraid of std. And most of us take precaution but not to the extend of not having sex. Why am I even answering this...
@taurus/gembabe: gems arent bad ppl but if you give us what we want w/o us having to say anything you WILL BE taken for granted (esp. men regardless of their sign). You gave him a bj (fine) but do you realize how sad it is tht when you asked him if you can sleep on the COUCH he didnt say anything? Wht he shouldve said, along the lines of "with me ofc after cuddling" did he? NO. Trust me when i say YOU DONT MEAN ANYTHING TO HIM.
Gemlove: what you said, it hurts so much. I've never experienced something so humiliating. And I know it's the truth, that I don't mean a thing to him. It's over a week since that night. A week since I last tried to contact him...
I'm also half gemini born may 21st. My fault is I forgive too easily. Right now, if he contacts me, I'm afraid id run back to him and I know I shouldn't. I read back things that I wrote that night. I wrote, "I want to die." I'll read it over and over again to remember the pain he caused me.
Sometimes I feel he is getting back at me for leaving him the first time. Maybe I was easy.. I donno but whatever I was...I was me and it wasn't good enough for him
I'm also half gemini born may 21st. My fault is I forgive too easily. Right now, if he contacts me, I'm afraid id run back to him and I know I shouldn't. I read back things that I wrote that night. I wrote, "I want to die." I'll read it over and over again to remember the pain he caused me.
Sometimes I feel he is getting back at me for leaving him the first time. Maybe I was easy.. I donno but whatever I was...I was me and it wasn't good enough for him
@taurus/gembabe: im not trying to hurt you but i wanted you to come back to reality. YES its unfair how ppl/guys judge us girls for bring comfortable with our sexuality. Then we get blamed for "giving up the goods". Unless the guy has made it official and he showers ONLY YOU with affection, stays loyal to you and anything else in between. Only then you should let your gaurd no matter how much you like him.
I sound old school and conservative, im srry but thts an effective way of weeding out a $ $ holes like tht gem guy (atleast for me)
but thts an effective way of weeding out a $ $ holes like tht gem guy (atleast for me)Geminilove: Thank you for the shock. I really needed that. I need to get out of hoping that he will contact me again and see him for who he really is. A user and a monster. I'm slowly learning to let go.
Foxglove: You have no idea how I feel better when I hear your story. I feel that I'm not alone. That many women face this magnitude of hurt. Of letting your guard down and being used by someone you wouldn't believe would do that to you. I don't think it's an issue of how long you waited before sex. A user is a user.
Your story is also very eye opening. I think this guy could also have a gf. He said he had a gf who lived with him when he was in Singapore before he moved to Tokyo. I haven't found out what happened to her. They might be still together. He might be having a long distance relationship with her and he only needed me because he was physically lonely. Maybe he felt bad. I wish they would be honest and tell us truthfully. It would help us, keep us from blaming ourselves.
I'm really afraid to date again right now. Truthfully this guy makes me feel afraid to let my guard down. I have turned down some date invites, stop texting some guys that's pursuing me. I keep imagining this will happen again and if it does, I will really die...
Foxglove: You have no idea how I feel better when I hear your story. I feel that I'm not alone. That many women face this magnitude of hurt. Of letting your guard down and being used by someone you wouldn't believe would do that to you. I don't think it's an issue of how long you waited before sex. A user is a user.
Your story is also very eye opening. I think this guy could also have a gf. He said he had a gf who lived with him when he was in Singapore before he moved to Tokyo. I haven't found out what happened to her. They might be still together. He might be having a long distance relationship with her and he only needed me because he was physically lonely. Maybe he felt bad. I wish they would be honest and tell us truthfully. It would help us, keep us from blaming ourselves.
I'm really afraid to date again right now. Truthfully this guy makes me feel afraid to let my guard down. I have turned down some date invites, stop texting some guys that's pursuing me. I keep imagining this will happen again and if it does, I will really die...
I had a 9 year relationship with a Gemini and he was on it like white on rice from the beginning. He did chase me but he didn't have to chase long. When a man's hot to trot for you, you'll know. I've never had success with the online dating and agree (minus the heavy judgement) that you had sex - yes a BJ is sex - too soon. Having sex escalates the emotional attachment and you have no solid relationship and now you're invested in something that was never solid. It does sound like regardless of the sex issue, he's not that interested. When a man is interested he's never too busy. He makes the time to be with you cuz he can't get you out of his mind. This has only been 2 months and there's little to no steam here. Sorry but you need to cut bait & swim. There are other fish in the sea. Choose the man whose motivated to be with you. Not the man whose asking why you didn't call him. That's a load of bull. Men chase after what they want.
@taurusGem: Nahh, np 
taurus/gemBabe
Sometimes you have to step aside from yourself and your emotions to look at things from a different angle. Think like this: You do not really know this guy, he could look at kiddie porn on the computer for all you know, there may be so many bad things about him that would disgust you if you really got to know him. Take your ego out of it, there is nothing wrong with you, so maybe there is something wrong with him.
I think you did give bj too soon, but at the same time if all a guy wants is sex from you, he could wait two months and still do the same thing. You are a woman of value and you enjoy exploring your sexuality, own it, don't let emotions over run you because they are sending you false messages, they are creating a picture of a perfect man, that has rejected you. This is not true, you know your perfect man would have loved to have you stay the night and take care of him, that's the one a woman of value is looking for, if you don't find it in him, move on, his loss, not yours.
Sometimes you have to step aside from yourself and your emotions to look at things from a different angle. Think like this: You do not really know this guy, he could look at kiddie porn on the computer for all you know, there may be so many bad things about him that would disgust you if you really got to know him. Take your ego out of it, there is nothing wrong with you, so maybe there is something wrong with him.
I think you did give bj too soon, but at the same time if all a guy wants is sex from you, he could wait two months and still do the same thing. You are a woman of value and you enjoy exploring your sexuality, own it, don't let emotions over run you because they are sending you false messages, they are creating a picture of a perfect man, that has rejected you. This is not true, you know your perfect man would have loved to have you stay the night and take care of him, that's the one a woman of value is looking for, if you don't find it in him, move on, his loss, not yours.
I agree with what Este8 is saying.
@taurus/gem babe if you are reacting this way with such attachment for a man you may want to rethink if having sex whenever you feel like it is the best option. I am coming from experience here because I have been in similar situations and I am a very sexual person. Believe me, it sucks to not get a response after, but some guys are just jerks. I eventually had to learn to curb my sexual appetite until I was in the actual relationship. And oh boy does it make the sex that much better. It's amazing the build up that happens when you wait for so long and have so much mental foreplay going on. Oh man it's delightful.
Anywho, interesting story. I was with a gem guy once ("too soon") and I wanted something more with him. He said "hey let's see this out on a friend level first". So I said okay and was happy to enjoy his company, didn't freak out or try to keep asking. Wasn't too long before he was asking to be my boyfriend, but by then I had already moved past it and was just cool with it being casual. Found out later he wasn't considering it casual (oops). And this was a GEM! So you just never know... A decent guy will try to keep you in his life
@taurus/gem babe if you are reacting this way with such attachment for a man you may want to rethink if having sex whenever you feel like it is the best option. I am coming from experience here because I have been in similar situations and I am a very sexual person. Believe me, it sucks to not get a response after, but some guys are just jerks. I eventually had to learn to curb my sexual appetite until I was in the actual relationship. And oh boy does it make the sex that much better. It's amazing the build up that happens when you wait for so long and have so much mental foreplay going on. Oh man it's delightful.
Anywho, interesting story. I was with a gem guy once ("too soon") and I wanted something more with him. He said "hey let's see this out on a friend level first". So I said okay and was happy to enjoy his company, didn't freak out or try to keep asking. Wasn't too long before he was asking to be my boyfriend, but by then I had already moved past it and was just cool with it being casual. Found out later he wasn't considering it casual (oops). And this was a GEM! So you just never know... A decent guy will try to keep you in his life
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