LEO Disappeared.Is it over,Do they ever come back?

This topic was created in the Leo forum by Babykaykesiam on Saturday, March 20, 2010 and has 11 replies.
As you recall, he disappeared on me once over a misunderstanding created by anither girl. He left for 2 months, and came back telling e he was in deep depression over the split.
We started back u dating first week of december last year, been seeing each other every week. He even told me as back as end of Jan that he needed to see me at least 2 times or once a week for him to be happy. That made me happy. He has always been the one initiating dates, saying "I love you", and making love and intimacy. Yet I am always open to his advances, and happy and cheerful when we are together.
On Feb 14, he was quiet, and wished me a Happy Sunday instead of Valentines Day.. Yet he stil asked to see me. He told me he didnt believe in valentine's day as people should love each other every day. I told him I still would have loved a Happy Valentine's day greeting or somehing special. Anyway , that night was the first time I spent the night (normally I leave at stroke of midnight). He held my hand all night long in his sleep. Net morning he was fine and cheerful, yet joking how irritating that I woke him several times at night. But I left his place on cheerful terms.
Next week after, I mentioned something how I could help him in his career, and sent him an email I sent an acqaintane about him. OMG LEO blew up, and yelled at me after seeing the email, stating I put him down and insulted him by writing a vague description of him, not outlining his real talents. He said "is that what you think of me??? I am greatly disappointed in you. Stop being on my case and try to help me all the time! If I fail in my career, it will be of my own accord!" Anyway I profusely apologized, stating I will respect my boundaries and never try to help again, and that I truly DID admire him. He calmed down the next day, and said Ok please dont do that again. All seemed fine, yet he didnt see me for 2 weeks (I saw him on March 1)... AND that was the last time I saw him. He seemed a little aloof last visit with me, yet we still made love. He normlly is aggressive with me, yet he was cool and slow to make moves. Weird.
I mentioned he seemed aloof, and he said he has been very stressed and loses interest in sex when he is stressed (Mars in Aquarius?). I said "well you can still call me if you want to talk." He says "Well you should call me too. Dont you women believe in equal opportunity?.
Anyway so next week I call him, he picks up the phone in 30 seconds excited to hear from me. I said just che
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I tell him I am checking in to see how he is. he says "Much better! I want to see you on friday or saturday okay? Big kiss!"
So that was a wednesday.. On thursday, I go to a friend's event, and by mistake my phone dials Leo at 11 pm. I reealized the phone was on for 8 minutes (either it was picked up on VM or he was on phone listening the whole time). I know there was noise, but I was meeting lots of people and guys were flirting wth me (innocently). Now I am not sure what LEO heard, but come Friday and Sat, I don't hear from him. So on Sunday I say I was disappointed we didn't do anything. he texts me "Oh baby I forgot to tell u I booked a couple of projects and I had to prepare! I am so sorry!".
OKAYYYY now that was 3 weeks ago! All week he has been saying, Ive been VER busy with the projects, I hope u are well. Lately I have been going through health issues with a family memeber, and he has been texting me every day last week to see how they are and being supportive, yet he never called me once. Last text was on Monday and I have not heard from him since then, nor have I tried to contact him.
I am just leaving him alone.
Do you think this is his way of ending it with me? Has he found someone else you think? Is work really keeping him that busy?
I am sad as I don't know what to do. There felt like a quiet supportive love happening between us. I loved hanging out with him... we eeven worked on some of his creative projects together at his place. I am very supportive of his dreams and ambitions. Don't know how to turn it around, or if there is any hope now? I am confused.
He is Leo Sun, Scorpio Moon, Cancer Venus, Aqua Mars, And Virgo Rising. Very eclectic group of signs and planets.
Thanks for any kind help.
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Posted by CancerLeoCam
Texting is a bad sole choice of communication if you're involved with someone IMO. Initiate, try the phone and ask him point blank what's going on because you feel you deserve some info and care about the relationship and where it's at-which is puzzling to you right now. I know guys can be quiet but you sound like you've been given enough silent treatment to let yourself be overtly concerned and be drug through more. IMHO. Gluck.


I agree, I hate the texting part. But I called once, and he still has been texting. When he knew about my family crisis, that was the time to actualy call me. Instead he texted me everyday, 10 texts between us asking about me.
Good that he asked about me oof course (when none of my own friends even followed up to even ask me), but not good he couldnt even call me.
So at this point I don't feel like calling him now.
He has been quiet since monday. So I suppose he has suddenly lost interest? Or maybe he met someone on his project? That makes me sad, but what can I do. Maybe he wasn't a nice guy after all.
Thanks for the good luck. I appreciate it so much, and I really need it Sad
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Anyway, I don't even know a way to communicate in such a way as to get him to open up to me as to why the disappearance.
Last time I saw him I mentioned that I would like to keep it on track at once a week, and he explained that he was stressed and not wanting company due to his moodiness when stressed.
But now that he has got a job now, hiw stress would be lessened. Now he says he is very very busy.
Like that book says, He is Not that Into You... as job business is no excuse when a man wants to see you.. It has been 3 weeks. I must move on.
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CancerLeoCam gave some insightful advice...
BK only you know what you deserve when it comes to how a man should treat you...It's not so much as is he done with you...The question is...Is he treating you the way you want to be treated and if he's not then why are you in his life? 3 weeks no verbal communication which includes no physical contact is very questionable, I wouldn't consider this a real relationship due to the lack of physical contact, no one can say if he has found someone else but the many excuses proves that there is a loss of interest on his part.
I don't see how you can really call this a real relationship if he's not available and when he is in contact with you he's irritable...I wouldn't make a decision about him right now...Try going out and enjoying your life, shift the focus back onto you and let him figure it all out...Doesn't seem like your doing anything wrong for the exception of attempting to help him get his career in order, yeah don't do that even if they ask for help, let him be responsible for his life and his failures but for the most part you seem to be handling things fine...He sounds like a douchebag but hey that's just my opinion. Stop nagging him about what you want, he know what Valentines day and all the other holidays mean, if he's not happy to share those days with you and making up excuses why he doesn't celebrate then most likely he doesn't want to get heavy into the relationship with you...He treats you pretty casual, if that's not what you want then maybe you should reconsider investing so much of your emotions into this man...He can and will hurt you if you continue to invest in this casual situation with him...He needs to be the one investing or there really is no relationship...He has to feel the same way you feel or more or it won't work...You will be the one treating him like a boyfriend which you are he will be the one treating you like a friend which he is.
The more he see you care and invest yourself emotionally the more he's going to back off...less availability may help this situation, that means no more text messaging, tell him you can't text to either call or you can speak on the phone later...You have power...use it...stop doing things on his terms, do what makes you happy, if texting doesn't make you happy then don't text, tell him to call you.
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Posted by tiki33
He treats you pretty casual, if that's not what you want then maybe you should reconsider investing so much of your emotions into this man...He can and will hurt you if you continue to invest in this casual situation with him...He needs to be the one investing or there really is no relationship...He has to feel the same way you feel or more or it won't work...You will be the one treating him like a boyfriend which you are he will be the one treating you like a friend which he is.
The more he see you care and invest yourself emotionally the more he's going to back off...less availability may help this situation, that means no more text messaging, tell him you can't text to either call or you can speak on the phone later...You have power...use it...stop doing things on his terms, do what makes you happy, if texting doesn't make you happy then don't text, tell him to call you.


Great advice as always Tiki. You need to get a book deal fast, and help millons out there. For real!
I have begun the process of backing off truly, not as games but sincerely I am losing interest. Yes I do want more than casual dating that goes nowhere.
I just don't want to demand anything as men will do what they want to do anyway. They have to feel it from within. And if he isnt showing me he feels it, then I dont want to be there.
Ironically I have kept my distance, and not a peep from me. He texted me a ton of compiments and asked to see me. I happened to be unavailable today due to circumstances, and turned down a date for the first time with him. He got quiet. But nothing I could do. So I am not sure how our schedules will fit. I got a new project at work.
I do want him to call me rather than just text.. I will try the methods Tiki mentioned. I will be starightforward and ask him to call me. We shall see.
Everyone should see Tiki's site about commitmentphobes. They attracy women with low self esteem and give them morsels. I have learned a lot and don't want to be in the catgory of women with low self esteem who thinks that the man is the be all and end all of her life. I want to be cherished, appreciated and loved by a man, as I have so mch to give back.
Sad that A LEO with a VENUS IN CANCER couldnt understand that. Plus he has a Moon in Scorp, he should intuit that too LOL. Winking
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"IMHO, Lack of communication is always a deal breaker for me. Texting is the worst form to communicate. Email a close second. The energy required and the cost to pick up the phone for a minute out of the day is a pittance (versus the other methods) to be able to "connect." It is so important within a relationship to maintain and keep the connection fluid and strong AND... you'll do it if you feel the relationship is worth it. When there's no worth/value the phone doesn't ring and vice versa. It's a tell. You don't have to call every other hour, be ultra clingy, etc. but if you get that minute or two to hear each other's voice and appreciate one another in just that small moment it's a beautiful day throughout."
I could not agree more.
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Posted by GeorgiaPeach
"IMHO, Lack of communication is always a deal breaker for me. Texting is the worst form to communicate. Email a close second. The energy required and the cost to pick up the phone for a minute out of the day is a pittance (versus the other methods) to be able to "connect." It is so important within a relationship to maintain and keep the connection fluid and strong AND... you'll do it if you feel the relationship is worth it. When there's no worth/value the phone doesn't ring and vice versa. It's a tell. You don't have to call every other hour, be ultra clingy, etc. but if you get that minute or two to hear each other's voice and appreciate one another in just that small moment it's a beautiful day throughout."
I could not agree more.


Me three... Well said Cam!
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Posted by CancerLeoCam

To another topic...I also find plenty of people I've met in life (both men and women) are commitment phobes about one thing or another (I'm guilty as charged) so don't think that men are alone in this area. When it comes to relationships though I wish people would have some consideration for the person they're getting involved with because the minute that the emotional floodgates open... what you have is vulnerability which is scary and can cause turmoil. If said guy/ gal isn't interested then don't string the other one along. They need to just move on and get an ego stroked elsewhere. Energy vampires.
I'm a Venus in Cancer and when I am interested in someone it is impossible to think otherwise. Maybe it's his Scoprio moon that is holding him back. I dunno.
Best wishes Baby, Cam


Thnks Cam. Very sweet Venus in Cancers are supposed to be. I think ur right his Scorpio moon makes him clam up and keep secrets. His FB has tons of female girls asking when he wants to see him, so I now assume he may be seeing a bunch?
He texted me yesterday to see me, prob bc I am not pining after him. Or maybe he needs some variet again, who knows.
But I was seeing him every week sometimes more for 3 moinths. The 3 week absence makes me think he must have found new girls or distractions.
With all that water one would think he would be emotional about me. Who kbew?
I guess Mars in Aqua does not help. They tend to be unpredictable and detached. My last 2 BF were Aqua Sun with Mars Aqua and Gemini Sun with Mars Aqua. None of them had water.
Damn... wake up Leo with Venus in cancer and be true to ur venus hahaha
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Posted by CancerLeoCam
Thanks Tiki. Winking
I would add that in this day and age it confounds me why people cannot just be adults and have some empathy. I mean, what good is it going to bring by keeping you in the dark with his intentions. If he is uncomfortable about telling you he's not into you ..well, he's not doing you any favors by just disappearing.
IMHO, Lack of communication is always a deal breaker for me. Texting is the worst form to communicate. Email a close second. The energy required and the cost to pick up the phone for a minute out of the day is a pittance (versus the other methods) to be able to "connect." It is so important within a relationship to maintain and keep the connection fluid and strong AND... you'll do it if you feel the relationship is worth it. When there's no worth/value the phone doesn't ring and vice versa. It's a tell. You don't have to call every other hour, be ultra clingy, etc. but if you get that minute or two to hear each other's voice and appreciate one another in just that small moment it's a beautiful day throughout. Smiles. smile

To another topic...I also find plenty of people I've met in life (both men and women) are commitment phobes about one thing or another (I'm guilty as charged) so don't think that men are alone in this area. When it comes to relationships though I wish people would have some consideration for the person they're getting involved with because the minute that the emotional floodgates open... what you have is vulnerability which is scary and can cause turmoil. If said guy/ gal isn't interested then don't string the other one along. They need to just move on and get an ego stroked elsewhere. Energy vampires.
I'm a Venus in Cancer and when I am interested in someone it is impossible to think otherwise. Maybe it's his Scoprio moon that is holding him back. I dunno.
Best wishes Baby, Cam


The best most well thought out advice from a DXP male I have heard since I been here and I have been here for a couple years now....Energy vampires is exactly what we call people that take and take and take and never give back.
And yes commitment phobes can be male and/or female...It's just not cool to string others along period....Thanks Cam, I couldn't have said better.
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He texted me yesterday to see me, prob bc I am not pining after him. Or maybe he needs some variet again, who knows.
But I was seeing him every week sometimes more for 3 moinths. The 3 week absence makes me think he must have found new girls or distractions.
With all that water one would think he would be emotional about me. Who kbew?
I guess Mars in Aqua does not help. They tend to be unpredictable and detached. My last 2 BF were Aqua Sun with Mars Aqua and Gemini Sun with Mars Aqua. None of them had water.
Damn... wake up Leo with Venus in cancer and be true to ur venus hahaha

Girl, dont be too quick to write this man off!!! I thik you ought to explore other possibilities to his recent quiteness.... Dont always assume it's due to another women!
Did you not just finish telling us he was recently down due to work? Despite the fact he has another job and project's going on, dont assume other issues are not plauging his thoughts!!! If the relationship is fresh, he may not feel confident enough to reveal his fears to you at this point, so when you do see him he may just put upa front aas to his happiness (no one wants to display thier inner turmiol to a potential partner too soon) He may be just sticking to text bcos he does not want you to hear how low he may be feeling!!!
Bottom line, think outside the box! However I'm not suggesting you ignore signs that suggest he is up to no good, but you have to be logical. Do you think all men have time to be putting it about? We give men too much of a bad rap sometimes (me included)
You may have to be the bigger person and speak your truth, if you think the guy that you were getting to know is worth it. Dont allow that crap FB (that allows pple to inflate their ego's) to make up your mind withough getting the facts about his recent change.
Speak to the man; sincerely!!!
Good luck.
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