Should I give up on this Leo man?
This topic was created in the Leo forum by Scorpiogrl62 on Thursday, February 28, 2013 and has 8 replies.
Alright here's the situation. I met this Leo guy about a month and a half ago. He contacted me and we had some pretty amazing conversations (pretty **** long chunks of text) online before I agreed to meet him in person. We went on a picnic and had a splendid time. A couple of days later he came over to watch a movie and ended up spending the night. We had sex (A big error with Leo's apparently as I gave in too quickly, but I liked him and I like sex). Things rocked on nicely for about two weeks, we'd talk, hang, out and cuddle/have sex. I was trying to treat things pretty lightly and casually since I don't like to dive into situations too quickly and I had just recently gotten out of a relationship.
I won't lie though, I was quickly becoming infatuated with him.
So about two weeks in we're hanging out, both aggitated for different reasons and he just comes out with the fact that he's still totally in love with his ex-girlfriend (whom he broke up with) and that I apparently vaguely (having seen her myself) resemble her. Understandably I reacted rather badly to this news. In short I was pissed. So he left, we continued talking during the next couple of days. Against my friends and I's better judgement I ended up going over to his place. We had a long discussion and I ended up staying the night. I asked him why he felt the need to tell me what he had and he said that it seemed like he was using me. I plain out asked him if he was and he said no. I chose to believe him, but warned him that I was developing feelings for him. He said that we could continue to cuddle and sleep together so long as I understood that his feelings were platonic and physical. I said that was fine, but that we might have to discuss it again should my feelings change.
So more time rocked on and the situation steadily become worse. He wanted to talk about her, and I couls see him straining to please her and get back into her good graces. He'd alternate between saying that he wanted to get back with her and that he just wished that he could forget about her. He told me that it felt like she was stringing him along (she's dating another guy now). I told him that as his friend I would listen to him talk about it if he felt like he needed to but he should understand that it hurt me.
I won't lie though, I was quickly becoming infatuated with him.
So about two weeks in we're hanging out, both aggitated for different reasons and he just comes out with the fact that he's still totally in love with his ex-girlfriend (whom he broke up with) and that I apparently vaguely (having seen her myself) resemble her. Understandably I reacted rather badly to this news. In short I was pissed. So he left, we continued talking during the next couple of days. Against my friends and I's better judgement I ended up going over to his place. We had a long discussion and I ended up staying the night. I asked him why he felt the need to tell me what he had and he said that it seemed like he was using me. I plain out asked him if he was and he said no. I chose to believe him, but warned him that I was developing feelings for him. He said that we could continue to cuddle and sleep together so long as I understood that his feelings were platonic and physical. I said that was fine, but that we might have to discuss it again should my feelings change.
So more time rocked on and the situation steadily become worse. He wanted to talk about her, and I couls see him straining to please her and get back into her good graces. He'd alternate between saying that he wanted to get back with her and that he just wished that he could forget about her. He told me that it felt like she was stringing him along (she's dating another guy now). I told him that as his friend I would listen to him talk about it if he felt like he needed to but he should understand that it hurt me.
So more time rocked on and the situation steadily become worse. He wanted to talk about her, and I could see him straining to please her and get back into her good graces. He'd alternate between saying that he wanted to get back with her and that he just wished that he could forget about her. He told me that it felt like she was stringing him along (she's dating another guy now). I told him that as his friend I would listen to him talk about it if he felt like he needed to but he should understand that it hurt me.
I ended up going home for a week (telling him that I wasn't sure I could do it anymore but I wanted some time away from him to think things over). The morning after I got home I recieved a rather frantic text from him explaining that he just didn't know what to do anymore. That they had spent the night together (cuddling and fooling around, but no sex) and that he could "see the love in her eyes and it was killing him, but he just couldn't exist at her whims." He wanted to know what he should do.
Additional Details
I called him an *******. Then told him I was the worst person to ask and the best I could say was to do as I was and take some me-time to figure out what he wanted and was he was willing to sacrifice. We didn't talk the next day and the day after was really overcast. He hates the rain, so I sent him a picture message with some bright yellow flowers and a cheer-up message. (I'm weak, I know. Can't hold my ground with this guy to save my life). We ended up texting all day long, and it was almost like how it was at the very beginning. He was sweet, fliratious, and playful. Apparently he was in a much better mood due to Vitamin D or some such. He signed off that night with a goodnight sexy, something he'd never done before.
I ended up going home for a week (telling him that I wasn't sure I could do it anymore but I wanted some time away from him to think things over). The morning after I got home I recieved a rather frantic text from him explaining that he just didn't know what to do anymore. That they had spent the night together (cuddling and fooling around, but no sex) and that he could "see the love in her eyes and it was killing him, but he just couldn't exist at her whims." He wanted to know what he should do.
Additional Details
I called him an *******. Then told him I was the worst person to ask and the best I could say was to do as I was and take some me-time to figure out what he wanted and was he was willing to sacrifice. We didn't talk the next day and the day after was really overcast. He hates the rain, so I sent him a picture message with some bright yellow flowers and a cheer-up message. (I'm weak, I know. Can't hold my ground with this guy to save my life). We ended up texting all day long, and it was almost like how it was at the very beginning. He was sweet, fliratious, and playful. Apparently he was in a much better mood due to Vitamin D or some such. He signed off that night with a goodnight sexy, something he'd never done before.
I made it through most of the next day without texting him, but broke that night when I got bored. He just straight up told me that he was about to make a store run with the ex, they were making bread. I was a bit shocked (he's always been more subt
2 days ago
(he's always been more subtle about not mentioning her to me since I told him it hurt me) and quickly tried to exit the conversation in a friendly manner. Didn't work very well as he keot texting me. Flirty messages about how he wanted to join me in the bath. Then he told me that he missed me. I was blown out of the water, he'd certainly never said anything like that before and now that he had it was in this whole conversation about making bread and stuff with his beloved ex. Again I'm weak and we ended up exchanging flirty and sexy texts late into the night. He maintained great apparent excitement for my return the next day throught that convo and the subsequent one the next morning. We had plans to hang out and cuddle that night. (I had told him that I'd decided that I was taking things too heavily and shouldn't worry so much).
2 days ago
(he's always been more subtle about not mentioning her to me since I told him it hurt me) and quickly tried to exit the conversation in a friendly manner. Didn't work very well as he keot texting me. Flirty messages about how he wanted to join me in the bath. Then he told me that he missed me. I was blown out of the water, he'd certainly never said anything like that before and now that he had it was in this whole conversation about making bread and stuff with his beloved ex. Again I'm weak and we ended up exchanging flirty and sexy texts late into the night. He maintained great apparent excitement for my return the next day throught that convo and the subsequent one the next morning. We had plans to hang out and cuddle that night. (I had told him that I'd decided that I was taking things too heavily and shouldn't worry so much).
He came over, lingering greeting kiss and some fooling around before we went out to dinner where he texted her, basically told my friend that he was trying to break the ex and her new bf up, while having his hand teasing my leg. Then he had to leave for a couple of hours to attend to an "emergency" It was obvious that it was something to do with her. Since I was still playing for casual I shrugged it off and let him go on his merry way. He returned around midnight, cue the kissing, cuddling, and sex.
We've spent nearly this entire past week together and he's spent every night but tonight with me. However he's been texting her pretty non-stop as well. Not sure about what as I am not the kind to read the messages over his shoulder. I did learn that the reason he broke up with her was because she was too closed off with her feelings and he didn't know for sure how she felt for him until after they broke up.
Misc. Info. - I'm a 23 y/o scorpio. We're both in college. He's "given up" sex for Lent, something that he's broken several times with me. He also has trouble ejaculating, something he is frustrated with and said that the ex made him feel "fixed" because he could "finish" regularily with her.
I'm just so twisted up in the situation that I can't trust my own feelings regarding the matter, so any help would be much appreciated. Also welcome is advice, suggestions, critism, or personal experiences.
We've spent nearly this entire past week together and he's spent every night but tonight with me. However he's been texting her pretty non-stop as well. Not sure about what as I am not the kind to read the messages over his shoulder. I did learn that the reason he broke up with her was because she was too closed off with her feelings and he didn't know for sure how she felt for him until after they broke up.
Misc. Info. - I'm a 23 y/o scorpio. We're both in college. He's "given up" sex for Lent, something that he's broken several times with me. He also has trouble ejaculating, something he is frustrated with and said that the ex made him feel "fixed" because he could "finish" regularily with her.
I'm just so twisted up in the situation that I can't trust my own feelings regarding the matter, so any help would be much appreciated. Also welcome is advice, suggestions, critism, or personal experiences.
Thank you both very much for the fantastic replies!
A lot of what you said is true, I have thought about most of those things and I do feel that way sometimes.
I actually tried once to get myself away from the situation and still remain friends with him. Barely made it a couple of days though. I have sufficient willpower to do it, but I apparently lack the desire. Even when I tell myself that it's what I need to do.
I think a lot of it has to do with this "gut feeling" that I should stick this out. It's part of the reason that I'm confused as well. I normally do very well following my intuition but what if this is false and not my gut at all?
Anyway, little things have pointed to him moving away from her (though I might just be seeing them that way) and he's supposed to come back over tonight. I don't want to cling to something that is never going to happen but I don't want to feel like I threw in the towel too early either.
Hah! Literally as I typed this reply I got a text from him. Damn my weakness!
A lot of what you said is true, I have thought about most of those things and I do feel that way sometimes.
I actually tried once to get myself away from the situation and still remain friends with him. Barely made it a couple of days though. I have sufficient willpower to do it, but I apparently lack the desire. Even when I tell myself that it's what I need to do.
I think a lot of it has to do with this "gut feeling" that I should stick this out. It's part of the reason that I'm confused as well. I normally do very well following my intuition but what if this is false and not my gut at all?
Anyway, little things have pointed to him moving away from her (though I might just be seeing them that way) and he's supposed to come back over tonight. I don't want to cling to something that is never going to happen but I don't want to feel like I threw in the towel too early either.
Hah! Literally as I typed this reply I got a text from him. Damn my weakness!
Seriously? This man is doing nothing "to her" except for picking up the plate, walking over to her and showing her exactly what is on it. You are doing all of this to yourself. Pick up your self worth Scorpy and exit the banquet stage left. No more analysis or pondering is required, he wants pussy and company and you're providing it, licking the paupers plate clean of scraps each time. And you ask should you give up on him? Better question to ask is why you've given up on yourself.
all of the above plus a squillion!!!
fact is people want what they can't have. it therefore makes logical sense that if you want someone to want you, make it known they aren't gonna get you.....not until they've served themselves up to you as a dish you find appetizing at least!
fact is people want what they can't have. it therefore makes logical sense that if you want someone to want you, make it known they aren't gonna get you.....not until they've served themselves up to you as a dish you find appetizing at least!
Haha! Thanks guys really, you're actually helping to bolster me a bunch. Trust me, this situation actually hurts my scorpio pride. So far I don't have the strength (or legitimate desire, or whatever you want to call it to just walk away cold. But I'm keeping my options open as far as other guys go, so I'm not just tying myself to this one fellow. Baby steps I guess.
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