That Old Leo-Scorpio Tangled Tango
This topic was created in the Leo forum by LilliLou on Wednesday, June 12, 2013 and has 44 replies.
Long time listener, first time caller... And I think I am on the right track but need the help of you wonderfully honest Leos!
I am a scorp, and started dating a Leo a couple of months ago via a dating website and organised a date. As most people on the forum agree this whole scorp-leo dance seems fated/ ill-fated- so I fell for him.
After a week or 2 into it he had a 'friend' stay and when I vaguely questioned him he chided me for being possessive- okay- early days, I ignored it and moved on. Fine for another couple of weeks then the contact tapered off. Warning signs- if only I knew!
Of course my reaction was 'needing to know' so I asked what was going on;
Bombshell #1- he'd found out that a girl he had a fling with before me was pregnant. And he is already separated with 1 daughter. I stayed calm and gave him some room- then again a couple of weeks later 'needing to know'. Answer: you are wonderful, beautiful... XYZ... but I can't do a relationship... but would like to still see you in anyway I can.
Code: FWB/ Booty call.
Now, I was already attached so I know I should've backed away but I couldn't help myself and somehow agreed to this ridiculously painful and pointless arrangement.
Bombshell #2: He is still in love with a 20yo girl (15y his junior) who broke up with him (ouch) last year. This was a Leo-Leo thing and she ended it quite badly. He says she was his 2nd great love and he never realised until it ended. Interestingly the ex-wife must only be #3 on that list.
Still, I didn't learn and it carried on a couple more weeks (of course the sex is amazing) until here we are.
We are FB friends and I always see him & chat online- except on Monday night where except a blip before 9pm he was offline. This is his dating MO if I visit, so I think there is someone else. Brilliant! So I now feel horrible for letting this situation carry on. I am an intelligent, grounded and loving woman who really hoped for the best (maybe a little naive considering all the warnings).
Obviously he is damaged & wounded (wife leaving, girl breaking his heart, another pregnant), ego-centric; possibly to the point of no return, and he is just simply not interested -enough- in me.
So I am trying the 'No Contact' rule. Which earlier should have been the 'Running For The Hills' rule. But it is blooming hard...
I am a scorp, and started dating a Leo a couple of months ago via a dating website and organised a date. As most people on the forum agree this whole scorp-leo dance seems fated/ ill-fated- so I fell for him.
After a week or 2 into it he had a 'friend' stay and when I vaguely questioned him he chided me for being possessive- okay- early days, I ignored it and moved on. Fine for another couple of weeks then the contact tapered off. Warning signs- if only I knew!
Of course my reaction was 'needing to know' so I asked what was going on;
Bombshell #1- he'd found out that a girl he had a fling with before me was pregnant. And he is already separated with 1 daughter. I stayed calm and gave him some room- then again a couple of weeks later 'needing to know'. Answer: you are wonderful, beautiful... XYZ... but I can't do a relationship... but would like to still see you in anyway I can.
Code: FWB/ Booty call.
Now, I was already attached so I know I should've backed away but I couldn't help myself and somehow agreed to this ridiculously painful and pointless arrangement.
Bombshell #2: He is still in love with a 20yo girl (15y his junior) who broke up with him (ouch) last year. This was a Leo-Leo thing and she ended it quite badly. He says she was his 2nd great love and he never realised until it ended. Interestingly the ex-wife must only be #3 on that list.
Still, I didn't learn and it carried on a couple more weeks (of course the sex is amazing) until here we are.
We are FB friends and I always see him & chat online- except on Monday night where except a blip before 9pm he was offline. This is his dating MO if I visit, so I think there is someone else. Brilliant! So I now feel horrible for letting this situation carry on. I am an intelligent, grounded and loving woman who really hoped for the best (maybe a little naive considering all the warnings).
Obviously he is damaged & wounded (wife leaving, girl breaking his heart, another pregnant), ego-centric; possibly to the point of no return, and he is just simply not interested -enough- in me.
So I am trying the 'No Contact' rule. Which earlier should have been the 'Running For The Hills' rule. But it is blooming hard...
Jynja- thank you! You certainly made me laugh with the oar comment. 'Paddle dangerous'- hilarious!!!
And would you believe this is the 4th Leo? Absolutely inevitable.
So much of what you said is true... he is open with me about his friends, business, family but has told me that he is holding himself back as not to hurt me or himself. Another of the silly things we leo's and scorp's have in common. I guess that is the key to it all- I do care and would love to break through and heal him but he isn't there yet. And I'm risking getting hurt and like you say burnt up in the process.
I also know he is intrigued by me, my intuition, rationality and sweetness are something novel to him (he admits he has dated some rock hard b!t@hes in the past!!!). In turn I totally love his irreverent sense of humour, intelligence and the kindness that he doesn't think he shows
Would I take him back if he came...? I honestly don't know... I am 50/50... half wish it was over, and half wish that it isn't!
I'm hurt, feeling alone and doing the scorp thing by icing up when all I really want to do is cuddle up on the couch with him and just breathe.
And would you believe this is the 4th Leo? Absolutely inevitable.
So much of what you said is true... he is open with me about his friends, business, family but has told me that he is holding himself back as not to hurt me or himself. Another of the silly things we leo's and scorp's have in common. I guess that is the key to it all- I do care and would love to break through and heal him but he isn't there yet. And I'm risking getting hurt and like you say burnt up in the process.
I also know he is intrigued by me, my intuition, rationality and sweetness are something novel to him (he admits he has dated some rock hard b!t@hes in the past!!!). In turn I totally love his irreverent sense of humour, intelligence and the kindness that he doesn't think he shows
Would I take him back if he came...? I honestly don't know... I am 50/50... half wish it was over, and half wish that it isn't!
I'm hurt, feeling alone and doing the scorp thing by icing up when all I really want to do is cuddle up on the couch with him and just breathe.
Posted by LilliLou
Jynja- thank you! You certainly made me laugh with the oar comment. 'Paddle dangerous'- hilarious!!!
And would you believe this is the 4th Leo? Absolutely inevitable.
So much of what you said is true... he is open with me about his friends, business, family but has told me that he is holding himself back as not to hurt me or himself. Another of the silly things we leo's and scorp's have in common. I guess that is the key to it all- I do care and would love to break through and heal him but he isn't there yet. And I'm risking getting hurt and like you say burnt up in the process.
I also know he is intrigued by me, my intuition, rationality and sweetness are something novel to him (he admits he has dated some rock hard b!t@hes in the past!!!). In turn I totally love his irreverent sense of humour, intelligence and the kindness that he doesn't think he shows
Would I take him back if he came...? I honestly don't know... I am 50/50... half wish it was over, and half wish that it isn't!
I'm hurt, feeling alone and doing the scorp thing by icing up when all I really want to do is cuddle up on the couch with him and just breathe.
He's on a dating site to get easy lays - aren't they breeding grounds for people who have issues? he is telling you he is holding himself back so that you will stay around giving him what he wants - and you are complying very nicely. You can't heal him, no-one can heal anybody else, you are not his nurse or his mother, you want to be his girlfriend but its too late for that if there was ever even a chance of it. In fact he's been pretty up front about what he wants and told you early on, he wants FWB, you delivered, that is all you will ever be. Move on and find someone who wants the same things as you, there is plenty of them out there, although I doubt they are trawling internet dating sites.
And if you do manage to "heal" him you will simply be healing him so that he can move on to another woman whole again.
Ouch Celticlioness... But I guess I asked for that...?!
True, I am fully aware of my own complicity in this ridiculous situation. Obviously I entertained the FWB idea as I was already attached and in all honesty I wondered if he would 'come around' given a bit of time. Foolish I guess but somehow this *Douchebag* got under my skin. He 'warned' me several times that he is 'burnt offerings' and I stupidly didn't listen. I suppose he might be fond of me, and care in his way perhaps- but that is all it is/was/will be.
Internet dating was a terrible experience in all, but I was convinced by 3 different friends with happy outcomes (2 are now married, and one with a new baby) that there are decent guys on there. I just attracted the crazies and broken ones.
And yes, I do think it is time to move on and stop obsessing over everything... Thank you for your honesty (bruises and all!)I just sincerely wish it was different and that there was a happy outcome.
True, I am fully aware of my own complicity in this ridiculous situation. Obviously I entertained the FWB idea as I was already attached and in all honesty I wondered if he would 'come around' given a bit of time. Foolish I guess but somehow this *Douchebag* got under my skin. He 'warned' me several times that he is 'burnt offerings' and I stupidly didn't listen. I suppose he might be fond of me, and care in his way perhaps- but that is all it is/was/will be.
Internet dating was a terrible experience in all, but I was convinced by 3 different friends with happy outcomes (2 are now married, and one with a new baby) that there are decent guys on there. I just attracted the crazies and broken ones.
And yes, I do think it is time to move on and stop obsessing over everything... Thank you for your honesty (bruises and all!)I just sincerely wish it was different and that there was a happy outcome.
You are not attached after 2 months. You want to be attached after 2 months. Big difference.
Why do you keep using the word honesty? I stopped counting after 3 times in a relatively short span. This situation is the opposite of honest.
The rest of the pride did a pretty awesome job of giving it to you straight with no chaser so I won't brow beat you. Seriously, move on. It was a mere 60 days of your life.
My opinion of Scorpio women is rapidly changing based on the posts here. I
Why do you keep using the word honesty? I stopped counting after 3 times in a relatively short span. This situation is the opposite of honest.
The rest of the pride did a pretty awesome job of giving it to you straight with no chaser so I won't brow beat you. Seriously, move on. It was a mere 60 days of your life.
My opinion of Scorpio women is rapidly changing based on the posts here. I
Run as fast as you can from this person. Please, he is a recipe for disaster and hurt. And do it before your feelings grow deeper.
Jynja has a great point on Scorpios with their healing powers and ability to see into a person. I was very very close friends with a Scorpio. She was the only one who could see into me and reach me in any manner. I am a very guarded person. We had a fall out and she used her stinger in a horrible way in my opinion that was not tolerated. I walked from the friendship. I do still mourn that loss to this day and it is a year later.
Jynja has a great point on Scorpios with their healing powers and ability to see into a person. I was very very close friends with a Scorpio. She was the only one who could see into me and reach me in any manner. I am a very guarded person. We had a fall out and she used her stinger in a horrible way in my opinion that was not tolerated. I walked from the friendship. I do still mourn that loss to this day and it is a year later.
Posted by LilliLou
Long time listener, first time caller... And I think I am on the right track but need the help of you wonderfully honest Leos!
I am a scorp...
Bombshell #1- he'd found out that a girl he had a fling with before me was pregnant. And he is already separated with 1 daughter. ...
This is his dating MO if I visit, so I think there is someone else...
Obviously he is damaged & wounded (wife leaving, girl breaking his heart, another pregnant), ego-centric; possibly to the point of no return, and he is just simply not interested -enough- in me.
So I am trying the 'No Contact' rule. Which earlier should have been the 'Running For The Hills' rule. But it is blooming hard...
Welcome.
Sooo-- are you prepared to share your life with four other people who are bound to this man, more or less, for life?
These two women, and the children he has "fathered" aren't going anywhere; they are fixtures/priorities.
Also-- is he still "technically" married?
Posted by celticlioness
And if you do manage to "heal" him you will simply be healing him so that he can move on to another woman whole again.click to expand
I'm with CelticLioness-- even if you do help him to heal, what is the cost going to be for you?
I don't think there is a place for altruism in this situation-- it would be good if you found a Leo who has the luxury of making you his priority; you deserve that.
Posted by LilliLou
Long time listener, ...........
Of course my reaction was 'needing to know' so I asked what was going on;
Bombshell #1- he'd found out that a girl he had a fling with before me was pregnant. And he is already separated with 1 daughter. I stayed calm and gave him some room- ..........
Stopped reading after this crap right here. This man is married, with a kid; which means he is irresponsible and a cheater. And he has spilled seed with a random woman, which means he has no respect for himself. How is this guy appealing? Sounds like an all around loser.
The sex must be great. At least let him be rich. Please don't tell me this fool is broke too?
And the big kicker of it all is that he has told you he's not into you.
Just because you strongly desire something doesn't mean you are meant to have it.
'It's just the way they tend to see into a person and get the person to face his/her inner self. If a person is open to it, some Scorpios can heal and transform others'
Sorry if this all gets scrambled- newbie- attempted to quote Jynga; The first part scares him, and the second part, well...?
As to being attached- after 3 months- yes. Absolutely. If I get attached it is hard and fast. Or not at all. It seems to be a scorpio thing, but I don't think having fixed moon & ascendant helps either (thanks cosmos?!) not that I know too much about all this yet. There is a certain amount of pride involved too. But trying to understand the complexities of the attachment is like trying to just get one strand of spaghetti on a fork- impossible!
Of course timing played a part. I'm from Christchurch, NZ and aside from the major earthquakes of the past nearly 3 years I've had a few upheavals- new job, buying a (now broken) house, last relationship ending just under a year ago- and I think my force field was down and/ or malfunctioning
Then in strolls a confident, intelligent and charming alpha male... inevitable I guess?
Sorry if this all gets scrambled- newbie- attempted to quote Jynga; The first part scares him, and the second part, well...?
As to being attached- after 3 months- yes. Absolutely. If I get attached it is hard and fast. Or not at all. It seems to be a scorpio thing, but I don't think having fixed moon & ascendant helps either (thanks cosmos?!) not that I know too much about all this yet. There is a certain amount of pride involved too. But trying to understand the complexities of the attachment is like trying to just get one strand of spaghetti on a fork- impossible!
Of course timing played a part. I'm from Christchurch, NZ and aside from the major earthquakes of the past nearly 3 years I've had a few upheavals- new job, buying a (now broken) house, last relationship ending just under a year ago- and I think my force field was down and/ or malfunctioning
Then in strolls a confident, intelligent and charming alpha male... inevitable I guess?
And he is 18 months separated which I knew. The new baby was a major bombshell to him as well, he is quite devastated and openly admitted he was going through a self destructive stage. Perhaps this is my fatalistic/ destructive/ masochistic period?? Of course I found out about that after everything started, but quite rightly if one of my girlfriends was going through this I would kidnap her until she was thinking straight again. I am being ridiculous.
The fact that he has children I don't have a problem with, he is incredibly proud and protective of his daughter and that is a plus in my eyes.
But I do totally agree that it would be nice to meet a Leo who was on the same page and put me first! Egocentric little thing that I am
I definitely needed to get a leo perspective. He is the only one in my life (aquas, librans and taurus I have heaps of?!) and I am super pleased none of this angst will ever be revealed to him... Although maybe I should have asked for the Well-Fed-Domestic-Kitty-Advice-Starter-Pack rather than Savage-Savannah-Lions-No-Holds-Barred-Approach??
But I am learning & enlightened- ta all
The fact that he has children I don't have a problem with, he is incredibly proud and protective of his daughter and that is a plus in my eyes.
But I do totally agree that it would be nice to meet a Leo who was on the same page and put me first! Egocentric little thing that I am
I definitely needed to get a leo perspective. He is the only one in my life (aquas, librans and taurus I have heaps of?!) and I am super pleased none of this angst will ever be revealed to him... Although maybe I should have asked for the Well-Fed-Domestic-Kitty-Advice-Starter-Pack rather than Savage-Savannah-Lions-No-Holds-Barred-Approach??
But I am learning & enlightened- ta all
Jeepers Jynga- you are pretty blooming amazing!!! I couldn't even put it that succinctly in my head let alone in writing...
I don't seem to have a lot of sting- well, not the wounding type- and all too easily identified with what I thought he might be going through. Like I said, I fall pretty hard and once that bond is there it takes all my willpower to 'let go'.
It is bittersweet when I think back to the beginning- he looked at me with so much incredible intensity- I could almost hear the gears grinding as he tried to figure me out!
But alas, I cannot ignore the fact that he has chosen to go his way and I really have to move on and carry on with life. And remind the naughty side of me that I shouldn't attempt to get him out of my system in quite the same manner. Luckily I am pretty good at presenting my telfon coated side to the general public, and I have amazing friends and family who will distract me until this is a little less painful! Thank goodness for inherent regenerative super powers and your compassion.
P.S. There is no way on earth that there is a 'timeframe' to become attached or fall in or out of love- too many variables- but isn't that all part of the pleasure and pain...?
I don't seem to have a lot of sting- well, not the wounding type- and all too easily identified with what I thought he might be going through. Like I said, I fall pretty hard and once that bond is there it takes all my willpower to 'let go'.
It is bittersweet when I think back to the beginning- he looked at me with so much incredible intensity- I could almost hear the gears grinding as he tried to figure me out!
But alas, I cannot ignore the fact that he has chosen to go his way and I really have to move on and carry on with life. And remind the naughty side of me that I shouldn't attempt to get him out of my system in quite the same manner. Luckily I am pretty good at presenting my telfon coated side to the general public, and I have amazing friends and family who will distract me until this is a little less painful! Thank goodness for inherent regenerative super powers
and your compassion.P.S. There is no way on earth that there is a 'timeframe' to become attached or fall in or out of love- too many variables- but isn't that all part of the pleasure and pain...?
Posted by Jynja
I'm just curious, because I fell for my partner in less than 6 weeks, how long it should take for a person to become attached?
Can there really be a timeline? My exhusband said he was in love with me at first sight...he married me so I guess he wasn't lying. I think that falling for someone is really dependent on a lot of factors and there are some "connections" that are stronger then others between people.
Of course now I am just dying to know if there is someone else... The itch to ask is driving me (even more) bonkers; cue soundtrack- Elvis; Suspicious Minds
But, after reading a fews Leo threads;
- he will feel cornered and if there is someone guilty and I don't want/need the backlash
- could feed his already inflated ego
- won't make me feel any better if I know there is someone else
- will make me appear clingy and desperate (yuck!)
- as my gorgeous flatmate pointed out "That's good- for you! Bad- for her..."
And this would involve initiating conversation- thereby breaking the first rule of fight club- no communication!
Am I possibly getting the hang of this?
But, after reading a fews Leo threads;
- he will feel cornered and if there is someone guilty and I don't want/need the backlash
- could feed his already inflated ego
- won't make me feel any better if I know there is someone else
- will make me appear clingy and desperate (yuck!)
- as my gorgeous flatmate pointed out "That's good- for you! Bad- for her..."
And this would involve initiating conversation- thereby breaking the first rule of fight club- no communication!
Am I possibly getting the hang of this?
Posted by Jynja
Forgive me, I'm super sleepy now so I'll likely hide this message tomorrow.
You just remind me of a lady I threatened to beat up with an oar. She's my friend now - even though I'm still a bit paddle-dangerous, she's cool with me.
It was a very scary oar threat too. Major
Posted by LilliLou
Of course now I am just dying to know if there is someone else... The itch to ask is driving me (even more) bonkers; cue soundtrack- Elvis; Suspicious Minds
But, after reading a fews Leo threads;
- he will feel cornered and if there is someone guilty and I don't want/need the backlash
- could feed his already inflated ego
- won't make me feel any better if I know there is someone else
- will make me appear clingy and desperate (yuck!)
- as my gorgeous flatmate pointed out "That's good- for you! Bad- for her..."
And this would involve initiating conversation- thereby breaking the first rule of fight club- no communication!
Am I possibly getting the hang of this?
There is no exclusivity, though-- correct?
it's very hard to date a wounded Leo. I dated a Leo when he was just 6 months after his divorce. didn't work out. it takes a long time for them to heal and be able to love again.
- I actually wonder if this one ever will, he is still so messed up BUT of course his behaviour is compounding the problem! With a little time and space I hope he will... I see many great (if currently well hidden) qualities in him and he really makes me laugh! I'm in a reflective mood this afternoon and would like to think he'll get through this without too many more hiccups!
I suggest a serious sit down discussion. Find out where you stand and then take a couple of days to decide if it's worth it to stick around.
- Sadly Scorpiogrl I do know where I stand. I've only recently accepted that though. We have had some seriously deep chats and he has really opened up, been vulnerable, human and admitted many flaws. I will try to be friends with him in a little bit (without the benefits this time) although he has also said he doesn't have 'female' friends so we will see how that goes. So the action plan is to to stay the current course and just fade away- let him be.
But it is 'oar'some that you and your leo have worked it all out! I like to think that these two quite humbly fabulous signs can work it out!
- I actually wonder if this one ever will, he is still so messed up BUT of course his behaviour is compounding the problem! With a little time and space I hope he will... I see many great (if currently well hidden) qualities in him and he really makes me laugh! I'm in a reflective mood this afternoon and would like to think he'll get through this without too many more hiccups!
I suggest a serious sit down discussion. Find out where you stand and then take a couple of days to decide if it's worth it to stick around.
- Sadly Scorpiogrl I do know where I stand. I've only recently accepted that though. We have had some seriously deep chats and he has really opened up, been vulnerable, human and admitted many flaws. I will try to be friends with him in a little bit (without the benefits this time) although he has also said he doesn't have 'female' friends so we will see how that goes. So the action plan is to to stay the current course and just fade away- let him be.
But it is 'oar'some
that you and your leo have worked it all out! I like to think that these two quite humbly fabulous signs can work it out!Posted by MontgomeryPosted by LilliLou
Of course now I am just dying to know if there is someone else... The itch to ask is driving me (even more) bonkers; cue soundtrack- Elvis; Suspicious Minds
But, after reading a fews Leo threads;
- he will feel cornered and if there is someone guilty and I don't want/need the backlash
- could feed his already inflated ego
- won't make me feel any better if I know there is someone else
- will make me appear clingy and desperate (yuck!)
- as my gorgeous flatmate pointed out "That's good- for you! Bad- for her..."
And this would involve initiating conversation- thereby breaking the first rule of fight club- no communication!
Am I possibly getting the hang of this?
There is no exclusivity, though-- correct?click to expand
No, he asked for friends in whatever way I could manage.
I've reassessed that previous post
I know I don't have a right to the info, but that he is pretty honest and upfront with me if I actually ask a question of this man (that I really don't want to know the answer) I'll get it!
To paraphrase the great Jack Nicholson at the moment my emotional wellbeing "can't handle the truth"
Oh, and as I mentioned we are in a small city in which the CBD has been 50% demolished by earthquakes so I am bound to run into him- we only live 5 minutes away from each other and have bumped into him in the regular watering holes 4 times in the last 6 months.
So my aim is to be gracious and dignified when that next happens. Be able to hold my head up high and know I handled this well... I'm pretty sure he knows I'm amazing but the reminder won't hurt even if there is someone else!
So my aim is to be gracious and dignified when that next happens. Be able to hold my head up high and know I handled this well... I'm pretty sure he knows I'm amazing but the reminder won't hurt
even if there is someone else!Posted by kalin
if you have the patience, like years of patience, maybe you can win his heart...but only if you are willing to wait for that long.
my most recent Leo ex was very heartbroken over the gf he had before me. it took him about 2.5-3 years to get over her. he was Not completely over her the whole time we were dating. I was depressed the whole time and ended up seeing a therapist.
As a scorpio, I'm very possessive. It's never easy for me to share my guy with anyone. Even if the guy just has someone else on his mind, it kills me. But if you are OK with sharing the guy and you can accept that it may never change and you have the patience, go for it.
I have the patience but perhaps not the confidence. Once a guy has implied that you are not quite it/ enough (Leo's seem to love the Queen analogy). It has eaten away at me and I am actually a pretty confident, beautiful, strong woman.
And I do want the fairytale, not the nightmare... I could wait for him, but like so many of these feisty Leo's keep alluding to- he hasn't asked me to do that so why would I?
Posted by LilliLouPosted by MontgomeryPosted by LilliLou
Of course now I am just dying to know if there is someone else... The itch to ask is driving me (even more) bonkers; cue soundtrack- Elvis; Suspicious Minds
But, after reading a fews Leo threads;
- he will feel cornered and if there is someone guilty and I don't want/need the backlash
- could feed his already inflated ego
- won't make me feel any better if I know there is someone else
- will make me appear clingy and desperate (yuck!)
- as my gorgeous flatmate pointed out "That's good- for you! Bad- for her..."
And this would involve initiating conversation- thereby breaking the first rule of fight club- no communication!
Am I possibly getting the hang of this?
There is no exclusivity, though-- correct?
No, he asked for friends in whatever way I could manage.
I've reassessed that previous post
I know I don't have a right to the info, but that he is pretty honest and upfront with me if I actually ask a question of this man (that I really don't want to know the answer) I'll get it!
To paraphrase the great Jack Nicholson at the moment my emotional wellbeing "can't handle the truth"click to expand
I hear you.
I do think you have a right to ask, if you want to know, though-- divulging information of that nature is common courtesy, from both parties, IMO.
But "can't handle the truth"-- we've all been there; no one wants that kind of confirmation.
But you seem to have a grasp of the situation-- so be good to yourself.
What else can I say?
Posted by kalin
PS. my most recent Leo ex had other women on the side as well, because he was unable to love when we met. he told me he liked me very much, but he was just too broken to love anyone. now it's 3 years later, one of the women who overlapped with me sticked around for long enough, and they were talking about getting married.
we are talking again and he has been telling me, many times now, (i didn't ask for it. he just kept bringing it up, maybe he has regrets too, not sure), if i didn't pressure him to make a choice, if i didn't insist to be me during the difficult time, he'd have given me the kind of commitment i wanted... Anyways, based on my experience, it's possible for the wounded Leo to love again. if you think he's worth it and you think you've got time, then go for it and don't just give up like i did.
How bittersweet is hindsight?
Are we scorpio's our own worst enemies? Perhaps fodder for the scorp forum!
Thanks Montgomery... I'm really loving this forum- it is helping me stay the course, reaffirming my thoughts and understanding Leo motivations.
I have moved on to dreaming up witty repartee and planning my party outfits for the next 6 months or so... just in case you know- not that I'm an OCD, control freak scorp or anything
What is it with the SCORPIO - LEO tangle...?
Another one in my past told me that he wasn't over his ex but confided to a mutual friend that he had never met anyone who understood him like I did. This one is not an issue as he lives overseas , so it was never a possibility but do Leo's tailor the message for the audience to keep their distance/ save themselves from being hurt? Similar to a scorpio except that the scorp would probably keep that to themselves, secretive little serpents.
I have moved on to dreaming up witty repartee and planning my party outfits for the next 6 months or so... just in case you know- not that I'm an OCD, control freak scorp or anything
What is it with the SCORPIO - LEO tangle...?
Another one in my past told me that he wasn't over his ex but confided to a mutual friend that he had never met anyone who understood him like I did. This one is not an issue as he lives overseas , so it was never a possibility but do Leo's tailor the message for the audience to keep their distance/ save themselves from being hurt? Similar to a scorpio except that the scorp would probably keep that to themselves, secretive little serpents.
Posted by Jynja
ladies, what is the ultimate you're hoping for?
a wedding
a marriage
a family
what?
I have 3 adorable little nieces and I would love to have my own children grow up with them! Wedding, its just a day, but would love to wear a totally amazing wedding dress and have the best shindig, but marriage I'm more than a little gun shy of. I'd just love to be loved that much that someone would ask
*ahem, tiny pity party; aisle 3*
But what I would like is to build a home with someone, choose schools, go to family Christmases with the man of my dreams, grow old together... sigh...
Posted by kalinPosted by LilliLouPosted by kalin
PS. my most recent Leo ex had other women on the side as well, because he was unable to love when we met. he told me he liked me very much, but he was just too broken to love anyone. now it's 3 years later, one of the women who overlapped with me sticked around for long enough, and they were talking about getting married.
we are talking again and he has been telling me, many times now, (i didn't ask for it. he just kept bringing it up, maybe he has regrets too, not sure), if i didn't pressure him to make a choice, if i didn't insist to be me during the difficult time, he'd have given me the kind of commitment i wanted... Anyways, based on my experience, it's possible for the wounded Leo to love again. if you think he's worth it and you think you've got time, then go for it and don't just give up like i did.
How bittersweet is hindsight?
Are we scorpio's our own worst enemies? Perhaps fodder for the scorp forum!
Yes, we are LOL
We push the guy away and then want to win the guy back, and we are obsessed with guys who wronged us. Crazy, huh?click to expand
Totally bonkers even!
And boy, does this sound like my broken Leo to a tee??!?
Waiting does seem futile, what might I miss out on if I do/ what 'Might Have Been' if I don't.
Crystal ball gazing aside, I am striving for a peaceful resolution and ultimately love for us both but I think I need to leave sleeping lions be in the meantime.
Leos- would having this conversation have driven you absolutely nuts or would you secretly love the drama??
Jynga- nailed it... have the first ever voice message "hey, sorry I vanished off the face of the planet, have been incredibly stresses, sorry, hope everything is good with you... catch up soon".
EVERYTHING else has been texts, chats or me calling him...
Am not sure what to do, help! Damn international time zones.
And yes, I know I should just ignore him but how can I without feeling like a total b!t@h?????????
EVERYTHING else has been texts, chats or me calling him...
Am not sure what to do, help! Damn international time zones.
And yes, I know I should just ignore him but how can I without feeling like a total b!t@h?????????
Posted by LilliLou
Jynga- nailed it... have the first ever voice message "hey, sorry I vanished off the face of the planet, have been incredibly stresses, sorry, hope everything is good with you... catch up soon".
EVERYTHING else has been texts, chats or me calling him...
Am not sure what to do, help! Damn international time zones.
And yes, I know I should just ignore him but how can I without feeling like a total b!t@h?????????
Why does "ignore" = "total bitch"?
Also-- have you mentioned any of this over here-- SCORPIO?
They may not "understand him"-- but they will understand YOU, the most important part of the equation.
Posted by LilliLou
I'm pretty sure he knows I'm amazing...click to expand
^ This.
And you need them-- I don't think this side, alone, can give you all you need; seriously.
There are some really good people in there, too, that can offer some balance/perspective on this thing.
Posted by Jynja
Don't play games. Not with this pairing.
If you want to answer the phone, answer it, but cut off the sexual ties.
Tell him to sort his shit out first and be brutally honest about what's up.
Don't fear him or cower to him, he called back because he knows you don't take bull. So serve up a helping of no nonsense and take it from there.
Don't forget to pat his head and soothe his fears intermittently though. Life's whooping his ass like crazy
Oh, and please be careful. If he says all he wants is pussy, cut him off fast and order a bottle of champagne to kill any hurt nerves.
Be careful
So... I returned the call after 'the booty call' window and chatted for a bit. He yawned for most of the conversation and then told me he is going away for the weekend to de-stress. When I asked why he was so stressed he just answered that it was work. I know he is a bit useless over the phone so I didn't expect too much.
I am going to try sticking to my guns and give him the space he needs, but pop up when I can and 'pat him on the head'.
And unless I actually see him should I have 'the conversation' with him? Is it not a bit harsh via email/ message? Will he think I am over-reacting?
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by LilliLou
Jynga- nailed it... have the first ever voice message "hey, sorry I vanished off the face of the planet, have been incredibly stresses, sorry, hope everything is good with you... catch up soon".
EVERYTHING else has been texts, chats or me calling him...
Am not sure what to do, help! Damn international time zones.
And yes, I know I should just ignore him but how can I without feeling like a total b!t@h?????????
Why does "ignore" = "total bitch"?
Also-- have you mentioned any of this over here-- SCORPIO?
They may not "understand him"-- but they will understand YOU, the most important part of the equation.
Posted by LilliLou
I'm pretty sure he knows I'm amazing...
^ This.
And you need them-- I don't think this side, alone, can give you all you need; seriously.
There are some really good people in there, too, that can offer some balance/perspective on this thing.click to expand
Have looked on the scorp side and there does seem to be some very cool people, will divulge and see what they think but was initially looking to understand the Leo as I just don't know any except him... It has been eye opening! But those lady Leo's can be a bit fierce
Aah! I remember reading this thread, LilliLou.
At the time, I didn't have anything to say other than seeing your LEO man being involved in different angles.
About the 15 year his junior girl he says he is in love with, I believe nothing will happen with that. He may not forget her, but some ladies in here commented that you will have to live with Leo's exes in his mind. Some men may not kiss and tell. Leo man tells.
The pregnant woman is a problem, however, keeping friendship is the best way to winning Leo man (if you can handle staying neutral).
If I have feelings for a man, it becomes very hard for me to stay neutral. Since I didn't develop feelings for Mr. Leo at start-up, I was able to listen to his stories for hours. He used to call me from overseas for 1 to 1 1/2 hours of conversations.
There were times when we had our fall-outs,... like the second year when he was overseas, he invited his wife he was separated from....
He shared a photo with him and her. I was disgusted and stopped our conversations. We didn't talk for 10 months.
Then he contacted me again after he came back to CA. I had a big heartbreak by some Virgo at the time when he contacted me. I accepted to meet him in person. So we stayed friends for the next while. This is the time he was going through huge stress with wife. Again, hours on phone spent.
I avoided to meet him. Sometimes months past by and he used to say he misses me, we should meet. I used to think.. yeah .. yeah.. yeah... No way!
Then last year, he went into depression. We didn't talk for 4 months. He quit his high paying job to start up his own. In the meantime, he got caught up in playing online casino and the stock market.
There he was again after 4 months.
Even this year, around end of January, he said to me, "I will not be calling you for 3 months. I won't be even checking my email, because I have to totally concentrate on my business.
I responded, OK... {thinks, WHATEVER!}
In the meantime he kept telling how much he missed me. BLAH! I just brushed it off.
So this April he started texting and messaging me on MSN. I deleted him there. Then Mr.Leo started calling again.
This time we started working on common projects. I started up a complete new business and he came with the idea of joining me. Therefore we started seeing each other about 2-3 times a week and it has gotten this far.
I'm just saying, it hasn't been a st
At the time, I didn't have anything to say other than seeing your LEO man being involved in different angles.
About the 15 year his junior girl he says he is in love with, I believe nothing will happen with that. He may not forget her, but some ladies in here commented that you will have to live with Leo's exes in his mind. Some men may not kiss and tell. Leo man tells.
The pregnant woman is a problem, however, keeping friendship is the best way to winning Leo man (if you can handle staying neutral).
If I have feelings for a man, it becomes very hard for me to stay neutral. Since I didn't develop feelings for Mr. Leo at start-up, I was able to listen to his stories for hours. He used to call me from overseas for 1 to 1 1/2 hours of conversations.
There were times when we had our fall-outs,... like the second year when he was overseas, he invited his wife he was separated from....
He shared a photo with him and her. I was disgusted and stopped our conversations. We didn't talk for 10 months.
Then he contacted me again after he came back to CA. I had a big heartbreak by some Virgo at the time when he contacted me. I accepted to meet him in person. So we stayed friends for the next while. This is the time he was going through huge stress with wife. Again, hours on phone spent.
I avoided to meet him. Sometimes months past by and he used to say he misses me, we should meet. I used to think.. yeah .. yeah.. yeah... No way!
Then last year, he went into depression. We didn't talk for 4 months. He quit his high paying job to start up his own. In the meantime, he got caught up in playing online casino and the stock market.
There he was again after 4 months.
Even this year, around end of January, he said to me, "I will not be calling you for 3 months. I won't be even checking my email, because I have to totally concentrate on my business.
I responded, OK... {thinks, WHATEVER!}
In the meantime he kept telling how much he missed me. BLAH! I just brushed it off.
So this April he started texting and messaging me on MSN. I deleted him there. Then Mr.Leo started calling again.
This time we started working on common projects. I started up a complete new business and he came with the idea of joining me. Therefore we started seeing each other about 2-3 times a week and it has gotten this far.
I'm just saying, it hasn't been a st
... straight line, LillyLou. Honestly, I didn't care to have romantic interest in Mr. Leo. It's been a zig zag all the way.
Now I am developing feelings for him. He has never given up on me. What does that tell anyway?
So I guess it is up to your LEO man to keep in touch with you. Your decision on pulling yourself away is the best one, Sweetheart.
Now I am developing feelings for him. He has never given up on me. What does that tell anyway?
So I guess it is up to your LEO man to keep in touch with you. Your decision on pulling yourself away is the best one, Sweetheart.
Mr. Leo was in love with a married woman, 20-something years ago. She was 20+ years older than him. The affair continued for several years. Although married, he wanted to introduce her to his family.
She refused.
Then something happened (can't tell here) in between them and she cut contact with him.
He was broken.
Within a year he meets his current wife (10 years younger) and gets married to her, just to forget about his ex love.
Still he wonders how she is.
So here I am.
She refused.
Then something happened (can't tell here) in between them and she cut contact with him.
He was broken.
Within a year he meets his current wife (10 years younger) and gets married to her, just to forget about his ex love.
Still he wonders how she is.
So here I am.
Posted by LilliLou
Long time listener, first time caller... And I think I am on the right track but need the help of you wonderfully honest Leos!
Bombshell #2: He is still in love with a 20yo girl (15y his junior) who broke up with him (ouch) last year. This was a Leo-Leo thing and she ended it quite badly.
Obviously he is damaged & wounded...
Haven't read every post yet but had to respond. Bombs going off sll over the place here!
Girl he is NOT a victim, but the perpetrator of all that has gone wrong! Sounds like a cheater and he's getting a kick out of the fact that he even got a Scorpio breaking her own rules. We all makes mistakes, but pleassssse..
You are better than this and you know it.
His Leo girl won't share him PERIOD nor will she allow herself to be in second place. She dumped him the first time she got whiff of it! And you should too!
Posted by celticlioness
And if you do manage to "heal" him you will simply be healing him so that he can move on to another woman whole again.
+1
Posted by Jynja
Actually, Scorpios heal.
Scorpio moms' tears alone can be healing for a sick child. No, I'm not crazy, but such passion sent into the universe has gotta shake it up. My mom's tears are very rare, and the few occasions I've seen them have impacted me and many people around us to this very day.
My partner - aside being in the healing profession, has really healed me, friends (We ALWAYS have people over on the weekend - if he's at home, it seems inevitable) seeking advice or some form of understanding for their pain.
It's just the way they tend to see into a person and get the person to face his/her inner self. If a person is open to it, some Scorpios can heal and transform others.
+1
Just wanted to say...we Leo's never really get over past loves, atleast I don't. I just carry them around in my heart as the weight of them get heavier and heavier over time. Three years out from my divorce (which I filed btw) and I still reflect on the good from time to time. Oh I will NEVER take him back, but still love him although not in love with him!
Posted by TheLioness79
Run as fast as you can from this person. Please, he is a recipe for disaster and hurt. And do it before your feelings grow deeper.
Jynja has a great point on Scorpios with their healing powers and ability to see into a person. I was very very close friends with a Scorpio. She was the only one who could see into me and reach me in any manner. I am a very guarded person. We had a fall out and she used her stinger in a horrible way in my opinion that was not tolerated. I walked from the friendship. I do still mourn that loss to this day and it is a year later.
Sometimes L79 when I read some of your posts I swear we're living parallel lives. Lol. Same happened to me. And I miss my friend.
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by LilliLou
Long time listener, first time caller... And I think I am on the right track but need the help of you wonderfully honest Leos!
I am a scorp...
Bombshell #1- he'd found out that a girl he had a fling with before me was pregnant. And he is already separated with 1 daughter. ...
This is his dating MO if I visit, so I think there is someone else...
Obviously he is damaged & wounded (wife leaving, girl breaking his heart, another pregnant), ego-centric; possibly to the point of no return, and he is just simply not interested -enough- in me.
So I am trying the 'No Contact' rule. Which earlier should have been the 'Running For The Hills' rule. But it is blooming hard...
Welcome.
Sooo-- are you prepared to share your life with four other people who are bound to this man, more or less, for life?
These two women, and the children he has "fathered" aren't going anywhere; they are fixtures/priorities.
Also-- is he still "technically" married?
Posted by celticlioness
And if you do manage to "heal" him you will simply be healing him so that he can move on to another woman whole again.
I'm with CelticLioness-- even if you do help him to heal, what is the cost going to be for you?
I don't think there is a place for altruism in this situation-- it would be good if you found a Leo who has the luxury of making you his priority; you deserve that.
click to expand
+100
Posted by Jynja
I don't think you did anything wrong - however, I am intimate with someone with your placements, except for ascendant (My mom's is in Scorpio) and I know you're probably blaming yourself for going with the flow. You shouldn't. All the angst is towards the Leo for making you a part of this. He should be more responsible than that - but then again, they say love is blind.
*Hugs*
WELL SAID!
Life happens. What's bothering me about this guy is that he seemed to be full of excuses and not taking much ownership.
We ALL make mistakes, hope for the best, etc. but there are times when the truth is staring us in the face. Sometimes the heart confuses facts, but stepping back helps us to see the bigger picture.
To be fair he is well aware that he's been a right mess, and takes responsibility for what happened in his self destructive phase. He also warned me off - calls himself broken- and told me he didn't want a relationship (good call, he'll likely stuff up anyway... ) so can't fault him there.
I was the one who didn't listen and started getting attached but I'm on the way out as we speak. And feeling much better for the distance.
He is actually quite a lovely man deep down and I hope he comes through it eventually!
However I do think he got a bit of a kick/ ego boost having me at his back and call for as long as he did, but I'm sure he'll cope relatively well without me!!!
I was the one who didn't listen and started getting attached but I'm on the way out as we speak. And feeling much better for the distance.
He is actually quite a lovely man deep down and I hope he comes through it eventually!
However I do think he got a bit of a kick/ ego boost having me at his back and call for as long as he did, but I'm sure he'll cope relatively well without me!!!
Posted by Sweeetface
He does sound broken and its something that he needs to deal with before trying to be involved in relationships thinking its a good way to soothe his problems. I wouldn't even bother with him.
Yeah! I absolutely agree... I'm coming up to the 2 weeks non-contact mark and have been shopping to take my mind off it, win-win!
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. I knew a long time ago that I needed to walk away, but unfortunately it took a while to put the plan in action.
I guess we are all human, and I certainly managed to muck things up nicely, but you just have to move on.
Still, gives me plenty of ammunition about what I don't want next time round
All about learning to play the game!!!
Hey Kalin! 1 month?!
I can imagine this is getting tough for you. Especially if he is becoming distant.
Strategies;
- keep SUPER busy!! Shopping, catching up with friends & family, book a massage, the gym, work
- tough love! Reinforce the reasons why you are not with him and be totally blunt about it. Luckily mine provided plenty of ammo in this regard. None of this 'he is amazing crap' but the stuff that is actually important (big deep breath) 'he has a girlfriend' and 'if he wanted to be with me he would'. Mine are worse if that helps (ex wife, daughter, someone else pregnant)!?
- silver lining; there will be someone else- I'm sure you are a great catch which is part of the reason your ex is still hanging around. You're moving to a new place and you are bound to meet someone new soon- but you need to get the ex out of the way and truly mean it to have a hope for future relationships.
- avoid temptation... leave your phone at home if you are heading out for a couple of drinks, stay offline for as much as you can, avoid places where you might bump into him. I'm getting better, but still know there is a little part of me that wants to reach out to him and stay a part of his life, but know this is a bad idea!
I do all kinds of other crazy things which you may not wish to incorporate; write text messages that explain how I'm feeling, but just don't send them! plan which totally amazing outfit I'll be wearing next time I do bump into him with my new amazing bf beside me, have a rewards system; when I get to 2 weeks no contact I will buy that leather jacket I had my eye on!!! write a pro's and con's list... (that might be some of the libra influence)... Save a horrible photo of him to my desk top!
As you might've gathered I'm a little crazy- but in a good way!
I can imagine this is getting tough for you. Especially if he is becoming distant.
Strategies;
- keep SUPER busy!! Shopping, catching up with friends & family, book a massage, the gym, work
- tough love! Reinforce the reasons why you are not with him and be totally blunt about it. Luckily mine provided plenty of ammo in this regard. None of this 'he is amazing crap' but the stuff that is actually important (big deep breath) 'he has a girlfriend' and 'if he wanted to be with me he would'. Mine are worse if that helps (ex wife, daughter, someone else pregnant)!?
- silver lining; there will be someone else- I'm sure you are a great catch which is part of the reason your ex is still hanging around. You're moving to a new place and you are bound to meet someone new soon- but you need to get the ex out of the way and truly mean it to have a hope for future relationships.
- avoid temptation... leave your phone at home if you are heading out for a couple of drinks, stay offline for as much as you can, avoid places where you might bump into him. I'm getting better, but still know there is a little part of me that wants to reach out to him and stay a part of his life, but know this is a bad idea!
I do all kinds of other crazy things which you may not wish to incorporate; write text messages that explain how I'm feeling, but just don't send them! plan which totally amazing outfit I'll be wearing next time I do bump into him with my new amazing bf beside me, have a rewards system; when I get to 2 weeks no contact I will buy that leather jacket I had my eye on!!! write a pro's and con's list... (that might be some of the libra influence)... Save a horrible photo of him to my desk top!
As you might've gathered I'm a little crazy- but in a good way!
Posted by Grey
There is no tango. if you are a smart leo you will date a earth sign not water. we are already far too emotional(embrassing) and we certainly don't need any watery person to further irritate us.
what every leo needs is a through understanding of the earth and how to operate successfully on this earth plane.
leo is a very spiritual sign and we perceive evrything from the heart and higher dimesnion of joy and light. the world needs us but we also need to realize the world is finite and be dwon to earth and use our power effectively.
Air is also a very powerful advisor and ally that should be respected and develop a friendship with.
Pft!! There is so a tango... how many threads are about the Leo- Scorp thing? I know I attract Leo men like a bee to honey and vice-versa...
I think there was one thread that called it the Clash of the Titans with Obama and Hilary Clinton (alpha male leo vs. alpha female scorp) or something like that???
Unfortunately on a personal level, so far there hasn't been a good/ lasting outcome, but I'm learning and each time it gets better... A whole lot better!!!
And it can work- look at Jynga and her scorp. Have you dated a scorp? Or always earth signs?
And of course there is a whole lot more to the dynamics of dating including the Venus/Mars aspect, but purely on suns this combo creates a lot of press.
But each to their own Mr Grey...
i don't know. water is not my thing. not only are we cats but we are fire so as far as i am concenrned water signs are probably hated/disliked the most by leos.
plus we are not humble and "sweet" or whatever water signs are always bragging about so you should find us repulsive etc.
Well, if we are being literal there isn't a creature alive that can survive without water...
Also, Leos like it steamy as much as we do: Water + fire = Steam
Ignoring the watery element though, it is a fixed thing. We recognize the strength in one another, which is also why you're likely to be more drawn to Taurus or Aquarius.
And I used to tease my Leo all the time about how 'humble' and 'modest' he was, so perhaps anyone saying that is pulling your tail?! As you are totally correct ^
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