Arm's Length
This topic was created in the Libra forum by Atom on Tuesday, September 4, 2007 and has 32 replies.
That's what I MEANT the title to be!
Anyway, why does it seem we (other signs, that is) must keep Libras at Arm's Length before they really show any interest in us? The more I play hard-to-get and let more time pass by the more hot and heavy Libra Girl seems to get. Geeesh, I was almost at the stage of completely walking out of her life and suddenly she's interested in me---right when, in my mind, it's almost over, like forever over.
Anyway, why does it seem we (other signs, that is) must keep Libras at Arm's Length before they really show any interest in us? The more I play hard-to-get and let more time pass by the more hot and heavy Libra Girl seems to get. Geeesh, I was almost at the stage of completely walking out of her life and suddenly she's interested in me---right when, in my mind, it's almost over, like forever over.
She's showing interest because she can't fathom being alone...you're better off without the head games...
Because she isn't in love with you. If she were in love with you, it would be different.
The chances of her falling in love with you after a year .... slim to none.
Let it go and accept her friendship.
The chances of her falling in love with you after a year .... slim to none.
Let it go and accept her friendship.
She just wants to prove to herself that she can get you..even if she doesnt necesarily want you (in that romantic/physical sense). Sorry.
Yow. All good answers. Thanks.
Maybe it isn't game playing like everyone suggests. Maybe she likes having you around as a friend and since you backed off a little she thinks that you understand that better now.
* Maybe she likes having you around as a friend and since you backed off a little she thinks that you understand that better now.
I don't see this as a game. I totally believe she sees him as a dear, valued friend.
I don't see this as a game. I totally believe she sees him as a dear, valued friend.
why don't the two of you have some great sex and call it an afternoon?
Friendship = sexzz buddieZ.
Go aHead and ask her for some sexual intimacy - be direct, tell her you wan't it - you want some. Plan something with her. You an Aries?
hot and heavy? yeah right pal. cerebrotronic Airgiants.
kg, I think that's what I'm experiencing now----even as others on this Board continue to harp the "just friends" tune. Libra Girl is making herself MUCH more available, wanting much more time with me and closing the personal space much more and more frequently---very different than she's been up to this point.
***Not saying this is the same in any way, but I am a testimony to pushing someone away big time and finding that he was indeed the right man for me. And a Scorpio to boot. I thought they held grudges. See they can rise above all that to be completely sweet little poison scorpians!!
**
Thank you KG, we can be sweet (sometimes). LOL!!!
**Thank you KG, we can be sweet (sometimes). LOL!!!
Atom, we don't really know if she only wants your friendship or if she is ready and see you differently. Ask her.
IMO, after a year. I don't see it more than a friendship sweety. She could easily miss your company. Librans Luuuurvvvee their friends.
IMO, after a year. I don't see it more than a friendship sweety. She could easily miss your company. Librans Luuuurvvvee their friends.
Atom, you have gone BACK AND FORTH with this "girl". No woman treats someone they are interested in the way you've described her doing to you.
I do truly believe it's time for you to move on and find a woman who respects you because, based on the many frustrations you've posted, this is just another one of her games.
I do truly believe it's time for you to move on and find a woman who respects you because, based on the many frustrations you've posted, this is just another one of her games.
Thanks for your feedback, HP. I AM rather suspicious and taking my time and *tada* dating some other girls---*whew* some beauties---*wow*---so I'm staying arm's length and doing my best not to be gullible or deceived. It's just rather odd behavior on her part "suddenly"---I'm not sure if "the nickle dropped" and she is smitten, or just wants to be closer (but not romantically) BUT I don't think it's a game---cuz I would be so resentful then and I think she knows it. I'm actually talking less (suspicious of different behavior) and she's talking / sharing a lot more.
But. all, I'm HEALTHY enjoying various women right now. Yah, my heart's pretty much taken by Libra Girl still, but these others are proving to be VERY interesting---AND I have no commitment (!) to Libra Girl.
But. all, I'm HEALTHY enjoying various women right now. Yah, my heart's pretty much taken by Libra Girl still, but these others are proving to be VERY interesting---AND I have no commitment (!) to Libra Girl.
I really don't think this is playing games. I really believe this is who she is and she sees Atom as a very valued and loved friend.
Atom you have done as much and MORE than any man should have to go through. If I understand your posts, she knows you have romantic feelings for her and want to move onto the next level. I think the next move HAS to be hers.
I am glad you are interested in other women. Fingers crossed.
Atom you have done as much and MORE than any man should have to go through. If I understand your posts, she knows you have romantic feelings for her and want to move onto the next level. I think the next move HAS to be hers.
I am glad you are interested in other women. Fingers crossed.
Atom, you deserve the best, and by the sounds of things that's yet to come. Look forward and enjoy what's coming to you!
Thanks, LS! Thanks, Sola! And, Chatzy, 'haven't been able to e-mail you a PM because of the funky computer I've been using---thanks for your thoughts too!
Even if she cannot have you and that is why she wants you, this does not mean that she cannot really REALLY fall in love after that. The mind is a wondeful thing...
Think with your head, but guide it with your heart, and you will find the right answer for you, aTom. I wish you the best of luck in whatever outcome you choose to persue. You have a heart-of-gold, and you deserve someone who can truly see and appreciate that.
ok its been a week Atom....what's going on??? hmmmm????
Silence can mean lots of things and the mind boggles!!! BIG TIME
Silence can mean lots of things and the mind boggles!!! BIG TIME
LOL! Gotta report in to Chatz, et al:
(Bullet Points to make it easier):
-Decided I wasn't going to call her. She would have to call me before I'd talk to her. (That whole freedom and space and timing thing). So she has called and only then do we do anything together. If she e-mails something specific to me, my answers are very short. (I am busy, y'know!).
-I've taken her shopping to buy sandals she needed (You really get to know someone better shopping).
-We've had several lunches and dinners. Usually go out. I've cooked a few times. She's cooked a few times. We have the same tastes and both talk and talk and talk.
-She asks me a LOT about business decisions and for my opinion on everything that's going on in her life. Interesting.
-She bought a house (even though she already owns three---another story). So I helped her with the transaction. Yes, SHE bought the house strictly on what she wanted---which I encouraged. Afterward, she felt overwhelmed. I helped her through that.
-Then she was in Libra Limbo not knowing how to move her stuff to the new house. I lined up some movers and helped her plan (after she asked, of course). She was relieved and the move went well.
-The movers only moved the heaviest stuff so she and I moved everything else. (You really get to know someone better when you're moving things together----casual clothes, sweat, grunt work, bossy stuff---FUN!).
-We're better friends than ever, know each other better than ever, she seems to see me in a different light now. REALLY wants me around a lot.
-She made the mistake of asking me what I thought. I warned her I'd really tell her. So I told her I want to be with her for a very, very, very long time. How deeply I feel about her. AND if another guy walked into her life and she decided she wanted to be with him I'd be gone. 'Cause that's the way I would handle it. She needed to know that. It told her not to take me for granted.
-And she said her feelings for me have not changed (in other words, not romantic) but really likes the way things are and are going and taking it just a day at a time and she really doesn't know the future but things may change. (This tells me to give her even MORE space and space and space).
-That's the update, Chatz and rest. Comments, rotten tomatoes, slings and arrows, accolades, snide remarks, kudos, whimsical ditties all welcome.
(Bullet Points to make it easier):
-Decided I wasn't going to call her. She would have to call me before I'd talk to her. (That whole freedom and space and timing thing). So she has called and only then do we do anything together. If she e-mails something specific to me, my answers are very short. (I am busy, y'know!).
-I've taken her shopping to buy sandals she needed (You really get to know someone better shopping).
-We've had several lunches and dinners. Usually go out. I've cooked a few times. She's cooked a few times. We have the same tastes and both talk and talk and talk.
-She asks me a LOT about business decisions and for my opinion on everything that's going on in her life. Interesting.
-She bought a house (even though she already owns three---another story). So I helped her with the transaction. Yes, SHE bought the house strictly on what she wanted---which I encouraged. Afterward, she felt overwhelmed. I helped her through that.
-Then she was in Libra Limbo not knowing how to move her stuff to the new house. I lined up some movers and helped her plan (after she asked, of course). She was relieved and the move went well.
-The movers only moved the heaviest stuff so she and I moved everything else. (You really get to know someone better when you're moving things together----casual clothes, sweat, grunt work, bossy stuff---FUN!).
-We're better friends than ever, know each other better than ever, she seems to see me in a different light now. REALLY wants me around a lot.
-She made the mistake of asking me what I thought. I warned her I'd really tell her. So I told her I want to be with her for a very, very, very long time. How deeply I feel about her. AND if another guy walked into her life and she decided she wanted to be with him I'd be gone. 'Cause that's the way I would handle it. She needed to know that. It told her not to take me for granted.
-And she said her feelings for me have not changed (in other words, not romantic) but really likes the way things are and are going and taking it just a day at a time and she really doesn't know the future but things may change. (This tells me to give her even MORE space and space and space).
-That's the update, Chatz and rest. Comments, rotten tomatoes, slings and arrows, accolades, snide remarks, kudos, whimsical ditties all welcome.
kg (cagey), 'May not go anywhere but it's what I got for now! I'm not in pursuit mode for anyone else---even though I prefer to be in a romantic relationship with the person I feel closest too. How did I feel about her answer? Glad---simply because I want to KNOW what's going on inside that brain and heart of hers. Honesty. IF it's only friendship forever on her part then that's it. She'll miss me---because I would like "some day" to have a true partner, companion, best friend on EVERY level. And everything will then be focused on her. (I'm a one woman guy who gives his all).
I understand how you can walk away with this with a positive feeling. It may not be what you desire to here from her but it is the truth and were she stands so you can do what you need to do without having to wrack your brain trying to figure it out.
"Honesty. IF it's only friendship forever on her part then that's it. She'll miss me---because I would like "some day" to have a true partner, companion, best friend on EVERY level. And everything will then be focused on her. (I'm a one woman guy who gives his all)."
It is a shame she feels this way because eventually she is going to get to this point to. It just happens to be that you are at this point before she is in her life. I know what you mean about the one woman man thing. I have a lot of female friends, close female friends as it just seems more natural to me to be buddy buddy with girls than guys. It is more fulfilling, more balanced. however, no matter how much time I spend talking to or hanging out with girls, when I am in a real relationship that gets peeled back to occasional conversations to check up on them as the person I am with becomes my closest friend and I not only feel it right, but desire them to be the number one person in my life on both a friendship and companion level.
"Honesty. IF it's only friendship forever on her part then that's it. She'll miss me---because I would like "some day" to have a true partner, companion, best friend on EVERY level. And everything will then be focused on her. (I'm a one woman guy who gives his all)."
It is a shame she feels this way because eventually she is going to get to this point to. It just happens to be that you are at this point before she is in her life. I know what you mean about the one woman man thing. I have a lot of female friends, close female friends as it just seems more natural to me to be buddy buddy with girls than guys. It is more fulfilling, more balanced. however, no matter how much time I spend talking to or hanging out with girls, when I am in a real relationship that gets peeled back to occasional conversations to check up on them as the person I am with becomes my closest friend and I not only feel it right, but desire them to be the number one person in my life on both a friendship and companion level.
LOL, cagey girl! Pull my hair out??? Oh my, oh my! THAT's why I pour myself into my piano music (HARD stuff, like Chopin Ballades and Liszt and my buddy Beethoven's sonatas). And work all the time. Yes. It is frustrating---but a lot of things in life are frustrating. And I'm patient. And the relationship with her IS that important to me.
BUT when / if it's off, it's really off. I try not to think about that.
BUT when / if it's off, it's really off. I try not to think about that.
Liszt is intense and gorgeous and challenging. And ALL of you know I like challenges! Ha!
I think we've gotten wind that you like your challenges LOL....I do hope that one day she really does see what you've put out there for her.
Maybe one day we'll read on here about the greatest love story of all time hehehehehe
Maybe one day we'll read on here about the greatest love story of all time hehehehehe
Thank you, kg. I'm into great love stories. My other favorite is the one about the Adamant Aries who dove into the Atlantic to swim to Aussie land and grab the Lovely Leo in the mermaid outfit. (Heck, it may STILL come to pass!).
We need some unenlightened Libras to WAKE UP. (NOT referring to anyone on this Board).
We need some unenlightened Libras to WAKE UP. (NOT referring to anyone on this Board).
"We need some unenlightened Libras to WAKE UP"
Now Now Atom, didnt you know that its
ALL IN GOOD TIME!!!!!!! *giggles*
Now Now Atom, didnt you know that its
ALL IN GOOD TIME!!!!!!! *giggles*
er, is it possibly TOO MUCH time????
"F D u are crude rude and a Scorp rising like me.....
Take the day off."
whoa, venus in scorpio too. too freaky
Take the day off."
whoa, venus in scorpio too. too freaky
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