Dominant or Submissive? (Page 2)

" I know what you mean. Aquas are the same, we are just undercover with ours as to dissillusion our prey, catch him off guard. We love to spend our work days daydreaming of ways to blow his mind and then we go home and act it out!"


Correct.


Wow, ytou speak the truth nicodemus.

Queen,

Take my previous message to heart. This very topic was the undoing of my Scorpio ex and I. She fell in love with the bad boy, musician, artist outrunning the cops every weekend. My "F*** you this is my life" world outlook, when I started to become more "normal", which happened because of my love for her and my desire to protect, and take care of her, she got really confused. She started to feel like she didn't know me anymore, I was changing because I wanted to make life better for her...but she still wanted a bad boy. Strange. We are still good friends and I know that she has a hard time understanding how Libra men can be so many people, how we can just take interrest in something and become it. I think it makes Scorpios in general make us seem like "pretenders" when in reality, we are the product of our own design, no matter how many times that design changes.

poor thing...

"What power? What is this power you speak of?"

The power of charm I guess, I dunno, someone other than a Libra could probably describe it best. Thank you Venus.

Nic.. thank you for your clarifying this for me. Then, I am on the right track bc I was going to write him and reassure him that I know what I am doing here. Have thought about it at great length and am sure of my position. I know what you mean too about the "spell".. I am under it, bc I talk about him, think about him, worry about him, love him all so much, but it is all in my mind. The reality is very different as we have not been able to spend much time together bc of distance and other issues. When he is actually mine 100% I think I may hit that brick wall of reality. And sometimes I feel myself creeping up on it, bc we are so different. But I keep coming back to the fact that I love him and no matter what happens that will never change. I look at how he has treated me for the past 7 years without even kissing me and I can't deny that no one else has ever loved me this patiently before. I just want to thank him by loving him every way possible, physically... mentally... spiritually. I just don't think that will ever change and I want him to know that.

You all give me great ideas on new ways to love him and ways to express myself. It is almost scary for me to know that he and I would not be at this point without DXP and you great people. I'm just shaking my head in awe! I just want to give you all a big hug..

"I love him and no matter what happens that will never change. "

Those are magic words, one that a Libra NEEDS to hear, and hear over and over. We truely believe that love conquers all, and that "all you need is love". A lot of the torment we go through with the ones we fall for is the because of the rational, logical approach to love that a lot of people take. We belive that it is irrational, a force with a life of it's own and their is no point in conditionalizing or rationalizing it. Fall back. Let go. Give in. That is how it works with us, our reluctance to it comes from our skepticism that of others and their capacity to understand this.

My definition of love:
A genuine appreciation for another human being.

It is that simple for us.

Nic - that is funny you say that because by all outward appearances, Libras approach love very rationally and logically. We who are with them struggle to see that simplistic feeling that you speak of. I think it's there, in the subtext. I guess we just have to learn how to read and appreciate that part of you.

We don't want people to see the hopless romantics that we are. We see it as vulnerability. There are two levels of love for the Libra. One where we are in love with you, we do all of the things that someone in love does. And the other one where it completely takes over, it is the driving force in everything we do and say, even when we are at this point, we mask it. Sometimes it slips though, we can't always hide it. There are several signs, one of the most obvious is the sigh...ever been cuddling with a Libra guy and in the silence they let out this big breathy sigh, they don't realize they just did it....it's cuz were slipping. Don't ask what is wrong, everyone asks what's wrong, nothings wrong, were just falling for you 😉

Hey Nic,

I notice when I'm with my Libra, sometimes he will just lay back with his eyes closed. At first it bothered me a little because I thought he really wasn't into it. I asked him what he was thinking, and he would say "just enjoying it."

Now I realize that is exactly what he is doing. There's no hidden agenda or anything. He really is just laying back and enjoying what I'm doing at the time. I'm not sure if I ever heard him sigh, but I would think this comes close.

Nico, I just read your message to me on here and if I was on this thread a couple of years earlier, maybe my marriage could have been saved. However this will help with one of the many libras I am running into. Especially the one of interest... You are life saver. Liras are so insightful and intelligent at an early age. My younger brother is that way...

You guys on this thread make life so much easier. I never knew how these chat sigts could help a person...

***Libras are so insightful***

Oh, Nico, so that is what the sigh is... I always wondered about that. Out of nowhere just a sigh....

wow nico, you really need to write a book 🙂

You said there were many signs, however, we struggle to find them....the sigh? yes, that makes sense LOL...would you mind sharing any other "many signs" LOL?

again, you really need to write that book - you have been incredibly helpful

**aqua sighs too*** WOW! Me and libra had a bad day kinda... almost could have been an argument due to his inability to say "NO" to a damsel in distress last night. I knew something was going to happen.. I can feel his vibes now. All day yesterday I knew something was going to happen. Then he calls me today telling me he met this chic at the bar who was sooo drunk she could not make it home and he was going to take her to his house,(so she could sleep the alcohol off) but he lives 20 minutes away so he took her to a hotel then left and went home.. OK.. Yeh and I am stupid just like he just tried to played me.. I said "you should have taken her to your house you could have got some, since you tell me you haven't had any in a while". I am sure he probably did score. Then I quickly changed the subject bc I could feel myself going into rage mode and he kept bringing it up. He said, "Well what what I supposed to do? What did I do wrong here?" I said "Nothing, your a grown man and are capable of making sound decisions for yourself, if that is what you decided to do than obviously that is what was right for you". Then I changed the subject again quickly, and he brought it up AGAIN!!!! He said "Well I didn't know what to do." I said, "WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS!!" and changed the subject again. I could tell it bothered him, but I said I would call him later, but I am not going to. Gotta do some more thinking. This may be too much for me. There is always going to be some chic in distress that he feels he has to save (HP74.. I remember you going through this with your libra!!) I am not sure I can compete from 200 miles away.

How come nothing ever turns out good?

I'm sorry for putting you all through my emotional rollercoaster, but someone has to witness this insanity with me..

Nic.. what you wrote about love was beautiful and warm. I will always love him, just not sure if I can handle him..

Aqua,

Whoa, whoa calm down there. The reason it is bothering him so much is because you are assuming he did wrong by you, when in reality you were not there and you have no idea what happened. This turns us inside out, when we feel like we have to live up to someone elses perception of right and wrong, when we feel like we are being judged. There is the possibility that someithing could have happened between the two of them but the reality is you weren't there and you have no idea. He is probably really confused, especially if he was just looking out for someone. He was probably struggling with himself in weather or not to help this girl out and take a risk in your being upset with him, or to leave her without without any help and to make you happy.

"you should have taken her to your house you could have got some, since you tell me you haven't had any in a while".

Be careful with stuff like this, it will put anyone on the defense, especially a Libra. All he is hearing is your assumption that he is only motivated by sex. Like when I was with that girl last week, I was upset because she was trying to catagorize me with every other guy, implying that all I want is a piece of ass, she made a similar comment like "If you want sex so bad I can find you sex." Stuff like this cuts pretty deep.

"I will always love him, just not sure if I can handle him"

No one can "handle" a Libra because Libras won't stand to be handled. Trust blindly, no matter how hard it is you have to trust blindly, everyone does. You don't know the whole story. Maybe she came on to him and kissed him or tried to or whatever and he pushed her away. Did you ever think of that? I am not saying he did but with the amount of information you have it is only fair to consider this just as likely as the opposite.

I am not saying you have to shelve your emotions, your insicurities. The best way to handle that situation is be reasonable and handle it as if it is a third party situation. Your quotes were assumptive and condescending, they were passively accusitory and I am not trying to make you feel bad, it was an emotional reaction, but remember it was an emotional reaction. I think you should call him back and tell him you are sorry for assuming the worst, and re-bring up your concerns. But be more rational, and sensitive.

Tell him "Look, hearing about your helping that girl made me suspicious. I am afraid that you would have done something with her, or you will do something with someone and I will be hurt."

"My feelings are really strong about you and It makes me feel vulnerable."

These are truths, so they are a lot more warrented than the things you said about it. The things you said were you putting up walls because you are afraid of getting hurt, afraid of being vulnerable. Remember how I was talking about all Libras fearing the other shoe to drop when someone comes to the realization that they have been under a spell, well what is going on appears like this could be the case for you.

Look at it rationally. What if he slept with her? What does that really change? You two are not together, not commited to each other. It doesn't change how he feels about you.....change anything he has said to you about how he feels....that is the reality of the situation. But assuming anything is not fair to him.

" I knew something was going to happen.."

You are letting your insecurities get to you, once you have this frame of mind SOMETHING WILL happen. It is kind of like jealousy, if you look for something hard enough, you will find it. You were expecting something bad to happen, because you were looking for it, you made what could be a completely innocent situation into that thing you were fearing.

Just take a step back and calm down. Stop assuming and communicate.

I honestly agree with Nic...to be honest I think if he had done the wrong thing he'd not have told you any of it in the first place....why would he want to intentionally hurt you when you are only days away from seeing one another and experiencing what you have written to us??

It makes no sense no matter how vulnerable he and/or she may have been...give him the benefit of the doubt 🙂

Nic and Chatz.. OK. I am just hurt bc I know this will happen again and later down the line I may not be able to control my emotions the way I did. I am raging inside and have cried a bit, but I have been reviewing the facts in my mind and he is NOT committed to anyone so he can sleep with whomever he pleases. It just won't be me, if that is the type of life style he wants to lead. I'm not into the sharing thing and have already expressed that to him several times. With any other guy, if I was just starting to date him and he told me that, that would have been a deal breaker for me. I would instantly pull back my feelings and when I do this they rarely return. But with him I can't. I'm not even a cryer, but with him I feel more frustrated than anything, bc things will be going well and I get comfortable with the thought of us being more serious and then something like this happens and it throws me off. I almost feel like he may be just charming me and not really interested. Because com'mon, if the roles were reversed and I would have said I was going to have some dude spend the night at my house, I would imagine he would be pissy too, and if not then we really don't have anything more than a friendship.

I did not call tonight, but I did text him after he was at work. I asked him to please be good tonight and he texted back "I Will", then I texted that I love him and he texted he did too. That helped me tonight but I don't want him thinking I am a drama queen bc I am not, but for some reason he can hurt my feelings very easily. I know I will have to get over it, especially if I hope to keep him around, I just question, if the shoe were on the other foot, how would he feel...

Nic have you heard from your girl? How do you feel about the situation now? What if she does want to see you more seriously but is just scared?

"but I have been reviewing the facts in my mind and he is NOT committed to anyone so he can sleep with whomever he pleases. It just won't be me, if that is the type of life style he wants to lead."

Alright, I'm gonna have to put on the tough love pants for this one. Hey....I'm up here. Sorry they are kinda tight. Thank you.

Stop worrying. Now. Your done worrying. This attitude is going to get you nowhere but the both of you hurt. Remember when I was talking about my Libra girl and I was describing how people create their own realities by acting a cirtian way and then saying HA! see I told you you were like that! ? Like she did with leading into sex, pulling away and then going into how all guys just want to get laid. I was like well yeah you appear to be making that a truth, for comfort so that you can be right. That is exactly what you are doing here.

Stop being silly. You know his life style , you said yourself you are fine with his life style , you are getting scared because you have allowed yourself to be vulnerable and now your ego is trying to paint him as the bad guy so you can say hey look, your screwing this up, to save yourself from maybe screwing up later.

Just chill. You still have no idea what went on, all you really know is that this guy, whom you are head over heals over really, really likes you. That is all you can be sure of, so take comfort in that and stop trying to ruin it to save yourself from the very thing you want.

It's not going to be easy. LET GO.

yeah I agree aqua....just enjoy the ride for the time being. We understand how you feel, believe me, I do but you've given such great advice to me on here and in those private messages - now its your turn to take your own advice...stop worrying, keep busy and things will be ok 🙂

Will write to you soon xx

Chatz, where you been? you ditched us in the other board where I was telling funny stories. Even posted a link to a pic for you and here you are.......so dissapointed.

Nic I had to do some stuff but Im back!!!! I saw the pic and can only say wooooohooooo!!!!! Big gun you got there 😛

Im just catching up on your last story - sheesh!!!...oh and thinking up some other naughty questions - you seem to be loving em and man can you type!!!!