I need advice on this Libra Female badly. :(

This topic was created in the Libra forum by SeeingStars721 on Friday, December 28, 2012 and has 45 replies.
ok so i have a limited amout I can type. me and a Libra have been in a relationship for little over a year. we love eachother. in mid november she moved back to LA after staying in NY (where she is from) for a couple of years. the reason she stayed longer being because she met me. for financial reasons I did not move with her right yet. the day we said goodbye she cried alot. since her move we have mostly kept in touch through txts and sending eachother pics. but one day she sent me a text a couple days after not speaking and said hope your doing good. now to me it sounded banal and insincere like she was treating me like an aquaintance so i got mad and just replied "thank you" to which she replied "lol".after that we didnt talk for a week and a half and I go to txt her and she doesnt answer. I check her FB and she deleted me as a friend. I freak out and start inquiring whats going on. no answer. I try calling her phone repeatedly and she ignores and then messages me "if you dont stop calling Im changing my number bye." im completely heart broken and confused. and she wont tell me anything. Ive sent her a ton of messages and no reply I have relaxed and stopped sending her messages the last couple of days. the only thing I think that could have prompted this was maybe she went into my email account and saw that I had messaged women looking for casual hookups. (sleezy i know) its something I did out of fear of being alone without her being around anymore. but i never went through with anything never cheated. but I cant figure out if she did see them or not. it just hurts alot cause she wont speak to me about anything I told her if she wants nothing to do with me atleast tell me so im not being strung along and shes not being annoyed with texts from me. but she doesnt say anything. i still tell her I love her. Im just really lost and I need people to shed some insight for me. I am at a loss I refuse to believe she is the type of person that can do 180 and completely sever all ties to me for no reason. if anybody can shed any light on this for me it would be greatly appreciated I really love this girl and as far as I know she loves me. she was just telling me she loves me and sending me pics 3 weeks ago. she is also a level headed woman at 33 yrs old. Im 24. our bdays are ME: 7/21/1988 syracuse, ny 10:12 am and her 10/17/1979 trumansburg, ny 12pm idk her birth time. is there a way I can post the chart?
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Posted by SeeingStars721
the only thing I think that could have prompted this was maybe she went into my email account and saw that I had messaged women looking for casual hookups. (sleezy i know) its something I did out of fear of being alone without her being around anymore. but i never went through with anything never cheated.


If this is what happened...I would say this is your answer
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If that is what made her leave, then it doesn't matter that you didn't go through with it...it was your intent and still amounts to betrayal. But honestly, what did she expect with you two being so far apart in age? No knock on you, but you handled it like a 24 year old and now its a lesson for you in the future. Me thinks she punishing you without the intent of coming back to you. She relishing I you misery as her best weapon is silence and watching you implode over her. Yes, she could simply say don't contact me anymore but she won't and its not a Libra thing. A lot people do this. Passive aggressive vindication. On a side note, the thing about that is it creates karma for her as well.
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LOL...get over the MILF syndrome. She was a 33 y.o woman with whom you had a good time, you're 24 go out and live your life. This would never have worked out anyway. Besides, you only feel bad now because you got caught trying to cheat, if she hadn't caught you she would have gone through with it. This is not going to work in your favour so move on.
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I honestly hope she saw the messages in my email it would bring relief to me cause atleast i know what set her off and that she just didnt randomly pull a psychotic i dont love this person anymore episode. I understand it probably hurt her and pissed her off but I need her to understand that although I considered cheating I never went through with anything and never messed around. Ive come to terms with how I really feel about her and I love her so much and would seriously be willing to drop everything.. sell all my shit to leave and go start again with her. but honestly I dont agree with the fact that she didnt trust me in the first place, that distrust alone is not good for a relationship. Ive always trusted her and never spied on anything of hers.
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thats not true at all though the age difference was nothing we mesh so well together and have been in a steady relationship for over a year. butter = things idk why it came up as butter..
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Posted by SeeingStars721
I understand it probably hurt her and pissed her off but I need her to understand that although I considered cheating I never went through with anything and never messed around.


You didn't because you got caught.
Posted by SeeingStars721
Ive come to terms with how I really feel about her and I love her so much and would seriously be willing to drop everything.. sell all my shit to leave and go start again with her. but honestly I dont agree with the fact that she didnt trust me in the first place, that distrust alone is not good for a relationship. Ive always trusted her and never spied on anything of hers.
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And that would be epic stupidity. I could school you on the whole topic of dating and being with much older women but I am not going to, you won't understand and will keep whining here for sympathy. Get over it Cancer boy.
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no I just didnt there was no I was caught and then decided not to cheat.. I had the opportunities and decided not to and then a couple weeks later I realize she is no longer talking to me. besides Im not even 100% on the fact that she actually knows anything. she could just be mad that we hadnt spoken in almost two weeks and could be doing the same thing to me.
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Posted by SeeingStars721
no I just didnt there was no I was caught and then decided not to cheat.. I had the opportunities and decided not to and then a couple weeks later I realize she is no longer talking to me. besides Im not even 100% on the fact that she actually knows anything. she could just be mad that we hadnt spoken in almost two weeks and could be doing the same thing to me.


LOL...if the whole email thing is your imagination then the story is a lot more simpler. She either met someone who thinks is a better fit for her considering her age and circumstances or she just doesn't see a future with you. Either way she is doing you a favour.
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yea I refuse to believe that.. this is a woman who put her career on hold to be with me. A woman who loves me. who cried her eyes out when she had to leave. A woman doest love someone one minute and then decide that person is no good for them and decide to get with someone else.. and thats def. not my girl. you sir are a cynical pessimistic sob and should stop trolling on my thread.
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^^^Hahahaha....I am not the one crying here, so that would make you a whiny SOB presumably. I do feel sorry for you though, pitiable.
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And no, I am not trolling your thread but sadly you're too immature to even begin to understand.
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Posted by Goddessproxy
Incandescent : there's nothing wrong with dating an older woman, ya know'?


None at all. But having had a realistic experience over a very long period of time with different women it just doesn't work in age gaps in certain age bands. And this woman has clearly proved that by saying "I will change my number if you call me again", but no Cancer boy knows better. She truly loves him you know she just doesn't know it...lol. Perhaps an injunction order will convince him.
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^^This could very well be the case then she would be as immature as he is. Truly destiny's couple Winking
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yea except I still call her like 1-2 times a week so she can forward me to her voicemail and I can tell that she hasnt changed her phone and is indeed getting my texts.. so suck it. My guess is your a miserable cancer who got burned himself but never quite recovered. well my friend your experience isnt someone elses experience and I dont need your discouraging comments. I really dont get along with other cancers never have.. with that being said I hope you can find healing and evolve into a more jovial person smile
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Posted by SeeingStars721
My guess is your ....


Yes, it's your "guess". Please don't project when you fail to see logic.
Secondly, it's "you're".

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You sound like my ex. He was a Cancer and also thought it was ok to have the intention to cheat aslong as he didnt go through with it wtf?! Asking someone to "hook up" with you is cheating to me. I would hoewever let.the person know why I was cutting them off but they would get cut none the less.
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Also tinking back to when I was younger (16) I found some emails on a friends computer where she had been messaging my boyfriend lies about me so he would break up with me. He (a libra) broke up.with me and never told me why, we had been together from 14-15. And as soon as I found the emails I walked out my "friends" house and didnt speak to her for about 6 years. I never told her why just fully cut her and she never asked Im guessing she must have worked it out but if she had asked I wouldnt have dignified her with a response. However like I said these days I would tell.someone exactly why before cutting them.
Not to rub salt in the wounds but the fact she gave.you such a drastic cut probably means she DID really care about you. I can easily forgive people that dont matter. When people I care about hurt me I usually erase them for good. If I decide to ever let them back in its because I no longer care about them
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Posted by Goddessproxy
^^^^ excuse me but the age difference has nothing to do with it. You're trustworthy or you're not.


True age has nothing to do with trust worthiness, but I'm speaking from a/ standpoint of how he handled it. As for her, it's also about bring realistic in your expectations.when dealing with a huge age difference. But I digress...
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^^@beautifulsoul74 - This is what I have been telling that imbecile OP, she probably just got realistic.
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Posted by incandescentcancer
^^@beautifulsoul74 - This is what I have been telling that imbecile OP, she probably just got realistic.


Gotcha. But I'm tripping off the fact that I basically said the same thing and got called out for it lol. I'm 38. I could put all the trust in the world in a 24 yr old, but I'm don't expect them to act like someone with my life experiences. Evidence bears this out. Maturity and one's understanding of love go hand in hand. You hope for them to always do right and not violate your trust, but the younger they are the more likely they are to do something stupid. It's expected.
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Posted by beautifulsoul74
Gotcha. But I'm tripping off the fact that I basically said the same thing and got called out for it lol. I'm 38. I could put all the trust in the world in a 24 yr old, but I'm don't expect them to act like someone with my life experiences. Evidence bears this out. Maturity and one's understanding of love go hand in hand. You hope for them to always do right and not violate your trust, but the younger they are the more likely they are to do something stupid. It's expected.


Yes well, calling it out to him resulted in him thinking that I am some bitter old guy who hated "his happiness"..lol. Yeah, he is that immature and naive, that got me wondering how the fuck is a 33 y.o woman hanging out with a dimwit like this. The only thing I could think of was she initially took him to warm her bed, then got a bit attached and once she moved away far enough moved on. Now he is basically obsessing over her and she is being extremely realistic. No matter how wonderful it sounds a 33 y.o mature woman is unlikely to see a future with some 24 y.o boy. It works better between much older guys and younger women (greater maturity and fidelity), the other way around gets screwed because of the enormous gap in maturity.
It's possible as someone pointed out that she's just seeking attention by cutting him off, although I highly doubt it, but if that's the case then as I said earlier in terms of maturity they would truly be destiny's couple.
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Time to grow up, son. You did something incredibly stupid. Face the consequences of your actions. You did a dick thing and now karma is going to bite you. Your response of "WELL I NEVER CHEATED!!" says a lot about your maturity in the matter.
The point is that you tried. You're 24 and basically want to have your cake and eat it too. She's 33 and said "fuck this." Girls your age may put up with that shit but by the time girls hit their 30s, they're ready to grow up and move on with life and not dabble with the little dramas that plague dating in the early 20s. Bullshit like this needs to be kicked to the curb. And that's exactly what she did to you.
Consider it a life lesson and be done with it. Next time, don't be such a dipshit and have some respect for your relationship. If you loved her so much, you wouldn't have even fathomed cheating and not acted so selfishly. You have a lot of growing up to do.
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Posted by rockyroadicecream
Time to grow up, son. You did something incredibly stupid. Face the consequences of your actions. You did a dick thing and now karma is going to bite you. Your response of "WELL I NEVER CHEATED!!" says a lot about your maturity in the matter.
The point is that you tried. You're 24 and basically want to have your cake and eat it too. She's 33 and said "fuck this." Girls your age may put up with that shit but by the time girls hit their 30s, they're ready to grow up and move on with life and not dabble with the little dramas that plague dating in the early 20s. Bullshit like this needs to be kicked to the curb. And that's exactly what she did to you.
Consider it a life lesson and be done with it. Next time, don't be such a dipshit and have some respect for your relationship. If you loved her so much, you wouldn't have even fathomed cheating and not acted so selfishly. You have a lot of growing up to do.


Couldn't agree more.
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Posted by incandescentcancer
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Gotcha. But I'm tripping off the fact that I basically said the same thing and got called out for it lol. I'm 38. I could put all the trust in the world in a 24 yr old, but I'm don't expect them to act like someone with my life experiences. Evidence bears this out. Maturity and one's understanding of love go hand in hand. You hope for them to always do right and not violate your trust, but the younger they are the more likely they are to do something stupid. It's expected.


Yes well, calling it out to him resulted in him thinking that I am some bitter old guy who hated "his happiness"..lol. Yeah, he is that immature and naive, that got me wondering how the fuck is a 33 y.o woman hanging out with a dimwit like this. The only thing I could think of was she initially took him to warm her bed, then got a bit attached and once she moved away far enough moved on. Now he is basically obsessing over her and she is being extremely realistic. No matter how wonderful it sounds a 33 y.o mature woman is unlikely to see a future with some 24 y.o boy. It works better between much older guys and younger women (greater maturity and fidelity), the other way around gets screwed because of the enormous gap in maturity.
It's possible as someone pointed out that she's just seeking attention by cutting him off, although I highly doubt it, but if that's the case then as I said earlier in terms of maturity they would truly be destiny's couple.
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I got that impression too. These young guys not wanting o learn from the "old" tigers lol. I wondering if she got access to his emails...did he give her his password or did she hack it? As for her hanging with him, she loved him and probably still does. Nothing wrong with that. I personally believe love makes you stronger. As in her case, she left because of that strength. She told him not to contact her, but to him it just meant not calling. Logical reasoning would tell you not to text either lol. He just misses what he had.
Lets play out the other scenario where she just up and left. The text "I hope you are doing good" etc was probably her guilt for splitting on him. His response astounded her and basically left her speechless because he didn't show anger. Hence, she's off the hook and doesn't expect contact even a
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Got cut off lol
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I have failed to portray this relationship accurately in my posts. She didnt take me in thinking I was temporary or something young to mess around with. the relationship wasnt like that at all. This Woman was preparing to leave a few days after we had our first date and she ended up staying. At this point in my heart I feel she still loves me but is very angry/hurt. I initially freaked out after she sent the message about changing her number but now I have calmed down and remembered exactly what we had and have regained my faith. wether she forgives me or not is up to her I will accept her decision either way and will move from there. If she wanted to cut me off completely she would have changed her phone number.. she only threatened that because I was pissed and calling her phone repeatedly to see what was going on. the fact that she hasnt changed it and has still recieved the texts I sent, I think says something. As of now I'm just giving her space and not contacting her at all for a few weeks to let her and myself think things through and evaluate how we trully feel. At which point sometime in the future I'll contact her with a clear head and let her know exactly all my thoughts and feelings and hope that she will give me the same. In one of the texts earlier this week I asked her what she wanted me to do.. and I told her that if she wanted me to move on and forget about her she just had to tell me, and that I wouldnt give up on us until she told me it was over and she had no desire to be with me.
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Posted by SeeingStars721
I initially freaked out after she sent the message about changing her number but now I have calmed down and remembered exactly what we had and have regained my faith. wether she forgives me or not is up to her I will accept her decision either way and will move from there.


You're hiding something. Your guilt clearly outweighs your estimation that she MAY have read some emails. RRI in the previous post was correct, you got a life lesson here because you got too smart. You got comfortable with this woman and took her for granted.
Posted by SeeingStars721
If she wanted to cut me off completely she would have changed her phone number.. she only threatened that because I was pissed and calling her phone repeatedly to see what was going on. the fact that she hasnt changed it and has still recieved the texts I sent, I think says something.


She hasn't changed her number because you haven't become a sufficient annoyance to change her number for all her contacts YET. Keep this up and she will change it, if you think that her not changing it is an expression of love you're delusional. The fact she gets the texts says nothing, it's like random advertisers send text messages to me and imagine that I like their product because I didn't change my number. There is a thin line between optimism and delusion.
Posted by SeeingStars721
As of now I'm just giving her space and not contacting her at all for a few weeks to let her and myself think things through and evaluate how we trully feel. At which point sometime in the future I'll contact her with a clear head and let her know exactly all my thoughts and feelings and hope that she will give me the same.


She has already done her thinking, this time is really for you to start doing so.
Posted by SeeingStars721
In one of the texts earlier this week I asked her what she wanted me to do.. and I told her that if she wanted me to move on and forget about her she just had to tell me, and that I wouldnt give up on us until she told me it was over and she had no desire to be with me.
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DUDE, she already told you that she is moving on, wake up!! Secondly, I
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Secondly, I am guessing she didn't respond to your texts, did she?
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Ummm, I can see clear as day why she stopped talking to you. In the mind of a Libra woman, coming from a Libra woman, your first mistake was NOT going to LA with her. She took it as abandonment and you not giving as much as she has given you... as u stated. But the Libra in her was trying to be understanding of you, even though she was hurt.
Second mistake, she was crying hard when she left.. you still didn't join her, ONLY now u have hurt her really bad... and she immediately started to doubt your loyalty. Once we start 'doubting' you love, your loyalty, you are on your way out of our lives for good. We have enough friends, but we need one true love in our lives. Once she moved to another city without you, she immediately started to emotionally detach herself from you to deal with it...a text is just a text to us.. it doesn't mean u are a part of our lives anymore.. it's almost as if you have dropped in the food chain for her.
Last mistake was the emails... and God only knows what else she thinks.. or saw.. or found.. as she was feeling betrayed anyway. Since you had hurt her so badly and she feels a sense of betrayal from you, she wrote you off, as you are no longer part of her immediate world. Once we write someone off and no longer see a future with you, we feel we don't owe you any explanations, as we start to question whether there was ever a REAL friendship in the first place. After all, you lost those rights the minute changed the pace... now she's leaving u to deal with it. In the mind of a Libra woman, if can let her go to a diff city, then you suddenly are no longer the ONE...ijs
I'm not saying she was completely justified.. but if you want to know why.. now u do.. because it could be forever and never before she tells you
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Update: Unfortunately I have bad news. Things turned out to be way worse and I was in for a surprise. The whole time I was freaking out and thinking I could fix it with time, a few days after I decided I would give her the few weeks to think I looked into her facebook profile and sometime during that week when she saw the emails and we werent talking she got with what appears to be one of her ex's out there. Cause now her profile picture is with another guy and her cover photo of him kissing her cheek. I was so hurt and shocked when I saw this. to me its blatantly her trying to get back at me and trying to run to someone else for comfort. I just never thought a 33 year old woman could be so immature. and although it really hurt me to my core Im finding each day being easier to cope which raises questions in my mind of wether I really loved her or not. and at this point I really do not know. I have ceased trying to contact her. i sent her one last message and voicemail the day I found out. Im really lost right now. I dont know if I even know what love is or if I just get attached to any hot girl that I get along good with. I suppose if its meant to be then it will. I told her I wished the best for her,, I still hope she contacts me someday so we can get some sort of closure. At this point Im already looking at different girls and looking forward to a new relationship in the future which surprises me so soon after this. (my first heartbreak took me two years to get over). I really dont know if Im actually getting over her this quickly or if Im just stuffing it away in my sub-conscious. I really hope the former I'd rather not have all that inside me just waiting to rear its head one day. But I still do think about it and it does bother me deeply but I guess I just try to stay positive and get over it. to all you who supported and gave advice and input on the subject thank you!
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Wow... this is not a happy ending after all
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You're still young and although it was a tough lesson and one that you have learnt from two sides, it'll make you stronger and a better person when the next true love comes around. Don't be jaded either by her, but learn from how you felt when you were left thinking it was because of your discrepancy that you may have lost out...
Live and learn as the saying goes.
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Whew, just reading this pissed me off. LOL I am not going to put you on blast but I hope you learned a very important lesson from this and remember not to take the woman that you love and you claim to love back for granted.
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I am a Libra female and also in a LDR, communication is very important, I am trying to put myself in her shoes, she didn't hear from you for 2 days, if that was my bf of over a year I would be very apprehensive to say the least, after 2 days she sends a text trying to reconnect with you and for some reason you thought it was insincere and responded "thanks"!!!!!???? Her asnwer "LOL" was a last attempt to see if you reacted the way she was hoping you would, guess you didn't and now she is done. I guess you were either very busy or extremely distracted while pursuing casual hookups online to stop talking to your girlfriend of over a year for 2 days...
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Lesson learned. A libra woman never misses a beat. We pretend that we do until we've ultimately made our decision. So if you're with us, be with us and don't eff round. If you're not and then change your mind, you're done.
Only one indecisive person in a relationship! And especially if you're a cancer, you needed to come with that A game in order to even have a chance...
But I am with one of the other posters, you are a hottie and I'm sure you'll have an easy time to move on. GL.
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Update: I haven't tried contacting her since the beginning of January. I still have not heard from her and have been moving on with life. I still ocassionally think about her from time to time. She had my phone number and my facebook blocked, just the other night I'm on facebook and I go to search for a friend and I start typing and her profile pops up in the search results. I click on it to see if its right and it was, for some reason she unblocked me. I clicked on her profile and it took me to her page and she didnt have the pics of the her and the guy up anymore. I didnt stick around and haven't gone back since. The problem is now I'm sitting here and after almost 5 months she's back on my mind and I don't want her to be. my mind is automatically jumping to wishful thinking that maybe she's slowly coming around and then I tell myself no and get angry and fearfull of getting hurt even more. I don't want to be jumping to any conclusions but I dont understand why she would go and unblock me??? is she checking on me? I refuse to message her out of fear of being ignored yet again. and a part of my ego just doesn't feel I should be the one to reach out. right now im trying to stop wondering why and I'm 50% set on blocking her instead so she cant see my profile and continue moving on. What do you guys think about this?
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I think its way to early to even think about any of that. Assuming she was even willing to make contact with me then I suppose I would like to just try talking. Im confused, I just want to know why she unblocked me, cause if it was just to unblock for no reason or without the thought of catching up with me then I would rather just block her and continue to move on with my life. we have mutual friends and I dont want to be seeing anything about her on my news feed to remind me of that heartbreak. I could say I still have feelings for her but I just don't know if they're true, I mentally and emotionally prepared myself to never hear from her again and told myself I would just have to forget about all the unanswered questions I had. Its hard to think about it all but I think I would like to just casually talk with her and tell her whats new.
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I did move on.. and yes its even more difficult when I find out she decided to take a break from hating me and checks on me..
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Just continue doing you...you have been through too much mental torcher to go back now and second guess everything. She might have unblocked you only because she isn't running from you anymore BUT she hasn't reached out and contacted you so that says more than just deciding to unblock.
I have in the past blocked someone because I was sick of them constantly talking to me, another I blocked because I wasn't ready to delete...eventually when I was ready to deal with both these people one was unblocked and one was deleted.
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She might of unblocked you because she thought that enough time has passed and shes fully over you and that you are fully over her. I would not think to much into it. Don`t let her mind fuck you, we are pretty dam good at that....
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yea that occured to me. I just dont understand how that could be the case though, with all the unanswered questions.. if it is then apparently we didnt know eachother at all.. cause I wouldnt expect her to think like that and she would know that I would only try reaching out to her again..
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I've come to the conclusion that this is not some casual unblocking, considering the fact our relationship has a very strong plutonian presence. Venus-Pluto both ways conjunction and Trine. Mercury-Pluto both ways square and conjunction. not to mention moon conjunct pluto and Mars square pluto. anybody who knows anything about astrology knows that with these type of aspects its either love or hate theres no lukewarm.. either way I'll find out in time when I message her..
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Well it's good to see a male over-thinking things for once..thought it was just the woman that got carried away and created situations in their heads when they lose a lover...guess we are all human after all~
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Libras get bored easily! We are some what of free spirits! I have been known to just "disappear!" Libras don't like to hurt other people's feelings ( but trust me if we have to we will) so rather then being honest with what is really going on, I will just ignore you! Your a Cancer, most cancer's are kinda clingy and possessive which is a big turn off! Honestly, leave her alone, stop texting her she has moved on. The Libra in me feels bad for you and hate that you got your heart broken! Sorry kid!
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