Libra is suicidal. Really need advice..

This topic was created in the Libra forum by WaterDevil on Friday, September 8, 2017 and has 18 replies.
So I hung out with the new libra last night. We laid naked in her bed for 2 hours talking. Than had some sex. But I wasn't 100 in it because I was so distracted by her mind. I loved talking to her. But I'm not sure where she was at mentally. I had a vibe maybe she didn't enjoy the sex. But I just feel like it was forced... she told me a lot of stuff about her past and talked about her ex A LOT. It felt kind of exhausting... idk

She is very suicidal though. And I don't know how I should go about this from here on knowing what I know now and sober. I just want to explain to her why i was off sexually with her without offending her.. I still want to be sexy in her eyes. But I also feel like I'm too fucked up as well and maybe no good for her.. please any help will be much appreciated..
details
Posted by WaterDevil
So I hung out with the new libra last night. We laid naked in her bed for 2 hours talking. Than had some sex. But I wasn't 100 in it because I was so distracted by her mind. I loved talking to her. But I'm not sure where she was at mentally. I had a vibe maybe she didn't enjoy the sex. But I just feel like it was forced... she told me a lot of stuff about her past and talked about her ex A LOT. It felt kind of exhausting... idk

She is very suicidal though. And I don't know how I should go about this from here on knowing what I know now and sober. I just want to explain to her why i was off sexually with her without offending her.. I still want to be sexy in her eyes. But I also feel like I'm too fucked up as well and maybe no good for her.. please any help will be much appreciated..
I think you will be the prefect disaster for each other... so you will learn a lot. Have fun... remember unsafe sex is not cool so make sure you don't have it. After 18 years being involved with a woman because of kids is what ever many dreams about.

Piscesmoon
details
Posted by piscesmoon2
Posted by WaterDevil
So I hung out with the new libra last night. We laid naked in her bed for 2 hours talking. Than had some sex. But I wasn't 100 in it because I was so distracted by her mind. I loved talking to her. But I'm not sure where she was at mentally. I had a vibe maybe she didn't enjoy the sex. But I just feel like it was forced... she told me a lot of stuff about her past and talked about her ex A LOT. It felt kind of exhausting... idk

She is very suicidal though. And I don't know how I should go about this from here on knowing what I know now and sober. I just want to explain to her why i was off sexually with her without offending her.. I still want to be sexy in her eyes. But I also feel like I'm too fucked up as well and maybe no good for her.. please any help will be much appreciated..
I think you will be the prefect disaster for each other... so you will learn a lot. Have fun... remember unsafe sex is not cool so make sure you don't have it. After 18 years being involved with a woman because of kids is what ever many dreams about.

Piscesmoon
click to expand
do you think i should say something though?.. i mean honesty is important right? and yes we were being safe..
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Posted by Shadowcat
Posted by WaterDevil
So I hung out with the new libra last night. We laid naked in her bed for 2 hours talking. Than had some sex. But I wasn't 100 in it because I was so distracted by her mind. I loved talking to her. But I'm not sure where she was at mentally. I had a vibe maybe she didn't enjoy the sex. But I just feel like it was forced... she told me a lot of stuff about her past and talked about her ex A LOT. It felt kind of exhausting... idk

She is very suicidal though. And I don't know how I should go about this from here on knowing what I know now and sober. I just want to explain to her why i was off sexually with her without offending her.. I still want to be sexy in her eyes. But I also feel like I'm too fucked up as well and maybe no good for her.. please any help will be much appreciated..
Does she have a support system?
click to expand


yeah.. its interesting. She has a great job. goes to therapy. lots of friends. loving family. But is SO depressed. And admittedly takes a lot of drugs to escape. Also is obviously VERY traumatized by her ex.nIts heartbreaking.

details
Posted by Shadowcat
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Shadowcat
Posted by WaterDevil
So I hung out with the new libra last night. We laid naked in her bed for 2 hours talking. Than had some sex. But I wasn't 100 in it because I was so distracted by her mind. I loved talking to her. But I'm not sure where she was at mentally. I had a vibe maybe she didn't enjoy the sex. But I just feel like it was forced... she told me a lot of stuff about her past and talked about her ex A LOT. It felt kind of exhausting... idk

She is very suicidal though. And I don't know how I should go about this from here on knowing what I know now and sober. I just want to explain to her why i was off sexually with her without offending her.. I still want to be sexy in her eyes. But I also feel like I'm too fucked up as well and maybe no good for her.. please any help will be much appreciated..
Does she have a support system?


yeah.. its interesting. She has a great job. goes to therapy. lots of friends. loving family. But is SO depressed. And admittedly takes a lot of drugs to escape. Also is obviously VERY traumatized by her ex.nIts heartbreaking.



Does her therapist know about the drugs?
click to expand
yeah. she just told her about her cocain use.

details
Posted by Shadowcat
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Shadowcat
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Shadowcat
Posted by WaterDevil
So I hung out with the new libra last night. We laid naked in her bed for 2 hours talking. Than had some sex. But I wasn't 100 in it because I was so distracted by her mind. I loved talking to her. But I'm not sure where she was at mentally. I had a vibe maybe she didn't enjoy the sex. But I just feel like it was forced... she told me a lot of stuff about her past and talked about her ex A LOT. It felt kind of exhausting... idk

She is very suicidal though. And I don't know how I should go about this from here on knowing what I know now and sober. I just want to explain to her why i was off sexually with her without offending her.. I still want to be sexy in her eyes. But I also feel like I'm too fucked up as well and maybe no good for her.. please any help will be much appreciated..
Does she have a support system?


yeah.. its interesting. She has a great job. goes to therapy. lots of friends. loving family. But is SO depressed. And admittedly takes a lot of drugs to escape. Also is obviously VERY traumatized by her ex.nIts heartbreaking.



Does her therapist know about the drugs?
yeah. she just told her about her cocain use.



The best thing that you can do is convince her to continue getting treatment. Maybe ask her to ask her therapist for CBT, if that's not what she's already getting.

click to expand
what is that?
details
She's not over her ex. I would stop having sex with her and take her out. Introduce her into new things. If you are invested in her. If not, It will take time for her to heal and don't bother with her.

I'm on a similar path but I'm not abused by drugs. Love sucks big time. Unless you're someone that can change that for her, I suggest you stop having sex with her.

details
Posted by Shadowcat
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Shadowcat
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Shadowcat
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Shadowcat
Posted by WaterDevil
So I hung out with the new libra last night. We laid naked in her bed for 2 hours talking. Than had some sex. But I wasn't 100 in it because I was so distracted by her mind. I loved talking to her. But I'm not sure where she was at mentally. I had a vibe maybe she didn't enjoy the sex. But I just feel like it was forced... she told me a lot of stuff about her past and talked about her ex A LOT. It felt kind of exhausting... idk

She is very suicidal though. And I don't know how I should go about this from here on knowing what I know now and sober. I just want to explain to her why i was off sexually with her without offending her.. I still want to be sexy in her eyes. But I also feel like I'm too fucked up as well and maybe no good for her.. please any help will be much appreciated..
Does she have a support system?


yeah.. its interesting. She has a great job. goes to therapy. lots of friends. loving family. But is SO depressed. And admittedly takes a lot of drugs to escape. Also is obviously VERY traumatized by her ex.nIts heartbreaking.



Does her therapist know about the drugs?
yeah. she just told her about her cocain use.



The best thing that you can do is convince her to continue getting treatment. Maybe ask her to ask her therapist for CBT, if that's not what she's already getting.

what is that?
Cognitive behavioral therapy
click to expand
oh she does do that

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Posted by LibraJackson
She's not over her ex. I would stop having sex with her and take her out. Introduce her into new things. If you are invested in her. If not, It will take time for her to heal and don't bother with her.

I'm on a similar path but I'm not abused by drugs. Love sucks big time. Unless you're someone that can change that for her, I suggest you stop having sex with her.

I actually really like that idea.. there is something about our connection. We talked naked in her place for 3 hours. just talking and kissing before the sex. But i did text her from work that i'd like to chat. she's gonna try and see if she can make time for me when im done work. if so ill suggest that. thank you
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Posted by Rozaeon
Posted by Impulsv
Posted by piscesmoon2
Posted by WaterDevil
So I hung out with the new libra last night. We laid naked in her bed for 2 hours talking. Than had some sex. But I wasn't 100 in it because I was so distracted by her mind. I loved talking to her. But I'm not sure where she was at mentally. I had a vibe maybe she didn't enjoy the sex. But I just feel like it was forced... she told me a lot of stuff about her past and talked about her ex A LOT. It felt kind of exhausting... idk

She is very suicidal though. And I don't know how I should go about this from here on knowing what I know now and sober. I just want to explain to her why i was off sexually with her without offending her.. I still want to be sexy in her eyes. But I also feel like I'm too fucked up as well and maybe no good for her.. please any help will be much appreciated..
I think you will be the prefect disaster for each other... so you will learn a lot. Have fun... remember unsafe sex is not cool so make sure you don't have it. After 18 years being involved with a woman because of kids is what ever many dreams about.

Piscesmoon
Everyone is fucked up for each other

No one is oerfrct
I kind of agree with this to some extent but the thing is that some people think they have the strength to handle people that have these type of issues ( or even more serious type of mental disorder ) but it always end up by a failure because it's really hard to do so, it's not a joke. And i honestly don't think that OP can handle that
click to expand
No, I mean I knew she was getting treatment before we hung out. But last night she was drunk and i was drinking too granted, but she got in her issues real deep with me. I can handle a distant relationship rn, or a good friendship. But I cant be physically involved with all that is going on with her.. She said I can come over after work. we both will have things to do later so Ill have about an hour to chat so Ill express to her that I felt after knowing she is still in love with her ex and to what extent, and everything she is going through Iv decided that I would like to not have sex for now until we create an emotional bond. That I would really like to connect with her so we can have great sex in the future. I want her to want me not need me as a distraction. That's really my fear. She seems strong. But Im not strong enough to carry her. I want to walk beside her and her beside me.
details
Posted by Rozaeon
Posted by Impulsv
Posted by piscesmoon2
Posted by WaterDevil
So I hung out with the new libra last night. We laid naked in her bed for 2 hours talking. Than had some sex. But I wasn't 100 in it because I was so distracted by her mind. I loved talking to her. But I'm not sure where she was at mentally. I had a vibe maybe she didn't enjoy the sex. But I just feel like it was forced... she told me a lot of stuff about her past and talked about her ex A LOT. It felt kind of exhausting... idk

She is very suicidal though. And I don't know how I should go about this from here on knowing what I know now and sober. I just want to explain to her why i was off sexually with her without offending her.. I still want to be sexy in her eyes. But I also feel like I'm too fucked up as well and maybe no good for her.. please any help will be much appreciated..
I think you will be the prefect disaster for each other... so you will learn a lot. Have fun... remember unsafe sex is not cool so make sure you don't have it. After 18 years being involved with a woman because of kids is what ever many dreams about.

Piscesmoon
Everyone is fucked up for each other

No one is oerfrct
I kind of agree with this to some extent but the thing is that some people think they have the strength to handle people that have these type of issues ( or even more serious type of mental disorder ) but it always end up by a failure because it's really hard to do so, it's not a joke. And i honestly don't think that OP can handle that
click to expand
No, I mean I knew she was getting treatment before we hung out. But last night she was drunk and i was drinking too granted, but she got in her issues real deep with me. I can handle a distant relationship rn, or a good friendship. But I cant be physically involved with all that is going on with her.. She said I can come over after work. we both will have things to do later so Ill have about an hour to chat so Ill express to her that I felt after knowing she is still in love with her ex and to what extent, and everything she is going through Iv decided that I would like to not have sex for now until we create an emotional bond. That I would really like to connect with her so we can have great sex in the future. I want her to want me not need me as a distraction. That's really my fear. She seems strong. But Im not strong enough to carry her. I want to walk beside her and her beside me.
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Posted by Fun4Life
You HAVE to support her and insist that she kicks the cocaine habit.

Coke is very, very bad to detox from and quitting is a mental strain to begin with, let alone for someone that's suicidal. Very serious stuff. Awful, awful drug that's much worse than you realize.
It really is awful.

But she can only encourage... she can't force

her to do anything.

OP's got the right idea, already.


Oddly, all the numbing of the emotional pain

keeps the wound from ever healing.

The cocaine, the booze... it's like mental and

emotional formaldehyde-- it preserves it.

:/


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Posted by Fun4Life
You HAVE to support her and insist that she kicks the cocaine habit.

Coke is very, very bad to detox from and quitting is a mental strain to begin with, let alone for someone that's suicidal. Very serious stuff. Awful, awful drug that's much worse than you realize.
I understand. But I JUST met her. And this is too much for me right now. Im the kind of person that gets invested easily and I want to save people. But that is toxic for me.. If she was someone close sure. But I don't want to get in it like that if it's gonna damage me.
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Posted by GC02
Wow these are all read flags that she is not ready to go further in a relationship.

-abusing hard drugs

-emotionally unstable

-still has feelings for her ex

Don't worry so much about the next time you have sex with her, you should be more worried about helping her grow as an individual. If you are not prepared to do so then I suggest you walk away because you'll probably only make things worse.
I went over her place last night after work for 20 minutes to chat about it. I DO want that for her. So I chatted and basically expressed that I don't want to be someone she uses for an escape. I want to be that instead. I want to energize her and show her some fun. So I expressed we shouldn't have sex for now, and that, basically i'd like to take her out instead and have fun. I want her to be happy. I can't make her be.. But the least I can do is try to show her some fun and keep it lite. We had a really good chat about it. And so long as we dont have sex for now I can keep it fun and a bit detached on my end. I dont want to soak her burden like a sponge, thats no good for me, but so long as I stick to my boundaries.
details
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by GC02
Wow these are all read flags that she is not ready to go further in a relationship.

-abusing hard drugs

-emotionally unstable

-still has feelings for her ex

Don't worry so much about the next time you have sex with her, you should be more worried about helping her grow as an individual. If you are not prepared to do so then I suggest you walk away because you'll probably only make things worse.
I went over her place last night after work for 20 minutes to chat about it. I DO want that for her. So I chatted and basically expressed that I don't want to be someone she uses for an escape. I want to be that instead. I want to energize her and show her some fun. So I expressed we shouldn't have sex for now, and that, basically i'd like to take her out instead and have fun. I want her to be happy. I can't make her be.. But the least I can do is try to show her some fun and keep it lite. We had a really good chat about it. And so long as we dont have sex for now I can keep it fun and a bit detached on my end. I dont want to soak her burden like a sponge, thats no good for me, but so long as I stick to my boundaries.
click to expand
@tizani

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Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by GC02
Wow these are all read flags that she is not ready to go further in a relationship.

-abusing hard drugs

-emotionally unstable

-still has feelings for her ex

Don't worry so much about the next time you have sex with her, you should be more worried about helping her grow as an individual. If you are not prepared to do so then I suggest you walk away because you'll probably only make things worse.
I went over her place last night after work for 20 minutes to chat about it. I DO want that for her. So I chatted and basically expressed that I don't want to be someone she uses for an escape. I want to be that instead. I want to energize her and show her some fun. So I expressed we shouldn't have sex for now, and that, basically i'd like to take her out instead and have fun. I want her to be happy. I can't make her be.. But the least I can do is try to show her some fun and keep it lite. We had a really good chat about it. And so long as we dont have sex for now I can keep it fun and a bit detached on my end. I dont want to soak her burden like a sponge, thats no good for me, but so long as I stick to my boundaries.
click to expand
@tiziani
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Posted by tiziani
Although the person I was dealing with wasn't doing CBT when she was aware she could have been doing it.
Yeah she's doing what she needs to, but she does need to listen to her therapist who told her not to do coke anymore.
details
Posted by Rozaeon
Posted by WaterDevil
Posted by Rozaeon
Posted by Impulsv
Posted by piscesmoon2
Posted by WaterDevil
So I hung out with the new libra last night. We laid naked in her bed for 2 hours talking. Than had some sex. But I wasn't 100 in it because I was so distracted by her mind. I loved talking to her. But I'm not sure where she was at mentally. I had a vibe maybe she didn't enjoy the sex. But I just feel like it was forced... she told me a lot of stuff about her past and talked about her ex A LOT. It felt kind of exhausting... idk

She is very suicidal though. And I don't know how I should go about this from here on knowing what I know now and sober. I just want to explain to her why i was off sexually with her without offending her.. I still want to be sexy in her eyes. But I also feel like I'm too fucked up as well and maybe no good for her.. please any help will be much appreciated..
I think you will be the prefect disaster for each other... so you will learn a lot. Have fun... remember unsafe sex is not cool so make sure you don't have it. After 18 years being involved with a woman because of kids is what ever many dreams about.

Piscesmoon
Everyone is fucked up for each other

No one is oerfrct
I kind of agree with this to some extent but the thing is that some people think they have the strength to handle people that have these type of issues ( or even more serious type of mental disorder ) but it always end up by a failure because it's really hard to do so, it's not a joke. And i honestly don't think that OP can handle that
No, I mean I knew she was getting treatment before we hung out. But last night she was drunk and i was drinking too granted, but she got in her issues real deep with me. I can handle a distant relationship rn, or a good friendship. But I cant be physically involved with all that is going on with her.. She said I can come over after work. we both will have things to do later so Ill have about an hour to chat so Ill express to her that I felt after knowing she is still in love with her ex and to what extent, and everything she is going through Iv decided that I would like to not have sex for now until we create an emotional bond. That I would really like to connect with her so we can have great sex in the future. I want her to want me not need me as a distraction. That's really my fear. She seems strong. But Im not strong enough to carry her. I want to walk beside her and her beside me.
Hmm ok that's sweet of you to think that way but i'll be honest, i'm really skeptical and i feel that you are doing that out of egoïsm ( since the first thing that worried you is to still look sexy in her eyes -_- ). Also, you said in another post about Libras that you already knew us, that we are " players " and " users " so that add more to my skepticism and i feel that in a couple days you'll make another thread trashing this girl or this sun sign because it didn't work out

Don't tell that we didn't warn you

But maybe i'll be wrong so i still wish you good luck
click to expand


You arnt far off. I am skeptical and Iv said that to her. But that doesn't mean I don't care about doing the right thing. I'm not perfect.

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