nicodemus
@nicodemus
19 Years1,000+ PostsLibra
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oh nic...thanks for the ideas! i will do that soon. i'll have my digital camera on so i can snap a pic
***I guess by me talkign about this on here is a way for me to express how awesome it really is to have found someone like this guy...BUT yes I am insecure because of the past experiences I've had with some men.***
Mistake... Give him a chance to be him. Never compare... Everyone should get a fair chance, or you could sabotage the relationship.
***Get playful, stop worrying about keys and over discussing things that are comming naturally and focus on pulling his pants down around his ankles and running out of the bathroom giggling while he is standing there brushing his teeth or trying to put his contacts in.**
Yeah baby!!! Now that is good stuff.
Mistake... Give him a chance to be him. Never compare... Everyone should get a fair chance, or you could sabotage the relationship.
***Get playful, stop worrying about keys and over discussing things that are comming naturally and focus on pulling his pants down around his ankles and running out of the bathroom giggling while he is standing there brushing his teeth or trying to put his contacts in.**
Yeah baby!!! Now that is good stuff.
Oh, and an FYI, I have recently learned that talking about a past partner could make a libra think you are comparing them, even when you don't mean to. 😉
oh, i don't compare my ex with him at all. we promised each other not to do that.
but yeah, i am doing it behind his back aren't I?
shame HP shame
but yeah, i am doing it behind his back aren't I?
shame HP shame
I don't think I do, but I mad the mistake of bringing up the ex and the "libra friend" just comparing Libran behaviors and yeah, I guess I was comparing. Didn't mean it though.
Oh and I say "you libras" a lot. Bad QS bad girl... I'm learning too.
I think I am the only guy on the planet who actually likes when girls talk about their x. I don't get insecure about it or feel like i am being compared at all, it is a good source of subtle, between the lines information on who you are with.
Though I do try and limmit how much I talk about mine as not a lot of people take it the way I do. It is hard not to sometimes because I am still friends with a few of them so they come up in normal conversations or stories.
Though I do try and limmit how much I talk about mine as not a lot of people take it the way I do. It is hard not to sometimes because I am still friends with a few of them so they come up in normal conversations or stories.
Nicodemus ... you mature, beyond your years!!
Yes he is.
"Nicodemus ... you mature, beyond your years!!"
"Yes he is."
Thank you both. I guess this is a good thing since I seem to have a thing for amazing older women. lol.
"Yes he is."
Thank you both. I guess this is a good thing since I seem to have a thing for amazing older women. lol.
so much information for someone so young!! The older women no doubt enjoy the younger, more mature man 😉
My boyfriend and I have been spending a lot of time together. Each time we say "OK, tonight we need sleep so we have to sleep at our houses", he ends up calling me wanting to see me. I give in of course because I like being near him, too.
I guess as an Earth sign, I'm feeling cramped right now. Not sure if all Earth signs feel this way, but I get claustrophobic but I can't seem to find the courage to tell my boyfriend this. We jumped into this really hard and fast and it's been a whirlwind.
I thought Libras were about "fly by the seat of your pants"...this guy is hooked on me, I know this and I like it. Should I go with it or should I tell him that we need to chill off? If I tell him we need to chill, how, as a Libra will he take it?
I guess as an Earth sign, I'm feeling cramped right now. Not sure if all Earth signs feel this way, but I get claustrophobic but I can't seem to find the courage to tell my boyfriend this. We jumped into this really hard and fast and it's been a whirlwind.
I thought Libras were about "fly by the seat of your pants"...this guy is hooked on me, I know this and I like it. Should I go with it or should I tell him that we need to chill off? If I tell him we need to chill, how, as a Libra will he take it?
sounds like i'm complaining over this. i finally have a man who calls me before i call him, wants to see me everyday, and obviously thinks and cares about me daily.
i guess i still think in the back of my mind that the guy is blow torching.
i guess i still think in the back of my mind that the guy is blow torching.
"Should I go with it or should I tell him that we need to chill off?"
If you need space, I would tell him. One, if you don't, your cramped feelings will begin to multiple and will cause discomfort (and possibly resentment at some point) on your part towards the relationship. Two, being a Libra, he is going to pick up on your discomfort, and I think it is better that you explain to him why now before he jumps to incorrect conclusions.
I can't tell you how he will take it, but I believe that if you rationally explain it to him as you explained it to us, then he should understand and respect your honesty to him. Personally, I think that unknowns in relationships can be far more detrimental than most knowns ever could be...
"i guess i still think in the back of my mind that the guy is blow torching"
I have never really seen the "blow torching" thing in my experiences with men, so I can't help you here. But, he is a Cardinal sign, and once they are fixed on something, they just go...
If you need space, I would tell him. One, if you don't, your cramped feelings will begin to multiple and will cause discomfort (and possibly resentment at some point) on your part towards the relationship. Two, being a Libra, he is going to pick up on your discomfort, and I think it is better that you explain to him why now before he jumps to incorrect conclusions.
I can't tell you how he will take it, but I believe that if you rationally explain it to him as you explained it to us, then he should understand and respect your honesty to him. Personally, I think that unknowns in relationships can be far more detrimental than most knowns ever could be...
"i guess i still think in the back of my mind that the guy is blow torching"
I have never really seen the "blow torching" thing in my experiences with men, so I can't help you here. But, he is a Cardinal sign, and once they are fixed on something, they just go...
Who cares how he will handle it? Do what is right for you. Deep down, if he is a good guy, he wants you to be happy.
I care, LS.
The guy just wants you to be happy. Make yourself happy. That is your responsibility not his.
🙂
🙂
Oh I'm happy; didn't mean to imply I wasn't.
"Make yourself happy. That is your responsibility not his."
I believe that she is just hoping that there is a solution that makes them both happy.
I believe that she is just hoping that there is a solution that makes them both happy.
It seems like you are asking if it is okay to look after yourself.
Ok, then I didn't convey my question properly.
No. You did. You just don't realize what you are really asking.
You feel cramped. You need space. But you are asking for permission (how will he react) to take the space/time you need to be happy and well balanced.
You feel cramped. You need space. But you are asking for permission (how will he react) to take the space/time you need to be happy and well balanced.
You need to realize that your happiness and mental health are important to both of you.
And if it isn't .... you have a much bigger problem.
"But you are asking for permission (how will he react) to take the space/time you need to be happy and well balanced."
I don't know. I see lots of possiblities...
1) She is feeling cramped and is hoping for others to reassure her that it is okay to assert herself in the relationship. Doesn't exactly fit the standard Taurus profile, though.
2) She is feeling cramped, but isn't sure if it should be seen as that big of a deal and is wanting others opinions on that before she asserts herself over something possibly minuscule. Pick your battles kind of thing...
3) She is feeling cramped, intends on asserting herself, and is hoping for advice from other Libras as to how best to broach the subject so that her Libra man does not get the wrong idea and think that she is putting on the brake and going in reverse.
4) She is not really feeling all that cramped, and this is merely a manifestion of her attempts to find something wrong with the relationship before the "other shoe drops".
I don't know. I see lots of possiblities...
1) She is feeling cramped and is hoping for others to reassure her that it is okay to assert herself in the relationship. Doesn't exactly fit the standard Taurus profile, though.
2) She is feeling cramped, but isn't sure if it should be seen as that big of a deal and is wanting others opinions on that before she asserts herself over something possibly minuscule. Pick your battles kind of thing...
3) She is feeling cramped, intends on asserting herself, and is hoping for advice from other Libras as to how best to broach the subject so that her Libra man does not get the wrong idea and think that she is putting on the brake and going in reverse.
4) She is not really feeling all that cramped, and this is merely a manifestion of her attempts to find something wrong with the relationship before the "other shoe drops".
The top three are all asking for permission to take care of herself. Assurance that it is okay. Even number three is still asking for permission, asking for it to be okay.
Number four is a possibility but I sense she actually needs a breather.
HP just tell him you have plans one night and that you will see him the next day. It will be fine.
Number four is a possibility but I sense she actually needs a breather.
HP just tell him you have plans one night and that you will see him the next day. It will be fine.
"Even number three is still asking for permission, asking for it to be okay."
No, I take as asking how to make it okay. Asserting yourself and taking care of yourself in a relationship is one thing, but if you care about the other person, then their feelings should be taken into account, too.
For example, you are telling her to assert herself... On one hand, she can make a big dramatic, emotional scene saying that he is crowding her and freaking her out. On the other, she could speak objectively and to the point. If she should not take into account his feelings and responses, then either option should be just as correct. But, it isn't, is it? Atleast not for a Libra... 😉
No, I take as asking how to make it okay. Asserting yourself and taking care of yourself in a relationship is one thing, but if you care about the other person, then their feelings should be taken into account, too.
For example, you are telling her to assert herself... On one hand, she can make a big dramatic, emotional scene saying that he is crowding her and freaking her out. On the other, she could speak objectively and to the point. If she should not take into account his feelings and responses, then either option should be just as correct. But, it isn't, is it? Atleast not for a Libra... 😉
***I thought Libras were about "fly by the seat of your pants"...this guy is hooked on me, I know this and I like it. ***
They are until they fall deep in love with you, then not as much.
***You feel cramped. You need space. But you are asking for permission (how will he react) to take the space/time you need to be happy and well balanced.***
Hmmm, LS I sort of get your point but I don't think HP is looking for permission in this situation per se. I just think she is considering how to tell her mate, whom she feels so deeply for, in a way that he will understand exactly where she is coming from.
I do agree that if she has other plans and he calls she should tell him what they are and ask him if he doesn't mind getting together the following day. Space is required for a healthy relationship. I myself MUST have my space from time to time.
They are until they fall deep in love with you, then not as much.
***You feel cramped. You need space. But you are asking for permission (how will he react) to take the space/time you need to be happy and well balanced.***
Hmmm, LS I sort of get your point but I don't think HP is looking for permission in this situation per se. I just think she is considering how to tell her mate, whom she feels so deeply for, in a way that he will understand exactly where she is coming from.
I do agree that if she has other plans and he calls she should tell him what they are and ask him if he doesn't mind getting together the following day. Space is required for a healthy relationship. I myself MUST have my space from time to time.
***No, I take as asking how to make it okay. Asserting yourself and taking care of yourself in a relationship is one thing, but if you care about the other person, then their feelings should be taken into account, too.***
Couldn't agree more. Well said.
Couldn't agree more. Well said.
You are splitting hairs. It is the same thing. The base is the same.
What she is saying is: I need to look after myself ... how do I make that okay, how do I get his permission to do so? Both come from a place of insecurity, that if she asks for her needs to be met, she will be left. I can go deeper into it but out of respect for HP's privacy, I won't.
Taking one day out of a relationship is not a big deal. It shouldn't be a big deal.
I am actually saying choose option C. Tell him you have plans for a night and that you will see him the next night. If he ask, assure him that you care but you will see him the next night, you just have stuff to do. Usually if you say I will see you tomorrow ... it doesn't make it a big deal. People generally don't expect you to be available 24/7.
What she is saying is: I need to look after myself ... how do I make that okay, how do I get his permission to do so? Both come from a place of insecurity, that if she asks for her needs to be met, she will be left. I can go deeper into it but out of respect for HP's privacy, I won't.
Taking one day out of a relationship is not a big deal. It shouldn't be a big deal.
I am actually saying choose option C. Tell him you have plans for a night and that you will see him the next night. If he ask, assure him that you care but you will see him the next night, you just have stuff to do. Usually if you say I will see you tomorrow ... it doesn't make it a big deal. People generally don't expect you to be available 24/7.
Insecurity? I feel is more like consideration.
BTW ... I am not saying that this is a "bad" thing .. just something to be aware of. We all have stuff lurking in the undergrounds of our minds.
"how do I make that okay, how do I get his permission to do so? Both come from a place of insecurity, that if she asks for her needs to be met, she will be left."
I disagree with your conclusion. Asking "how to make it okay" is not the same as how do I get his permission. It is "how do I do what I am going to do and hurt him the least". Or, in a way that Libras can understand 😉, "disappoint him the least". It does not come from a place of insecurity, but a place of caring.
A relationship is made of two people and for it to be balanced, you should care about your own needs and feelings, but you should also care about your partners needs and feeling, as well. There are ways to achieve your own needs and feelings and still see that you do not step on your partners needs and feelings. And, whenever possible, those ways should be used over the alternatives.
I do not think that you truly disagree with me, as your posts regularly talk about making things light for the other person and not emotionally burdening them. This concept is no different. As you know, some ways of doing things are better than others, and this case would merely be acknowledging that fact.
I disagree with your conclusion. Asking "how to make it okay" is not the same as how do I get his permission. It is "how do I do what I am going to do and hurt him the least". Or, in a way that Libras can understand 😉, "disappoint him the least". It does not come from a place of insecurity, but a place of caring.
A relationship is made of two people and for it to be balanced, you should care about your own needs and feelings, but you should also care about your partners needs and feeling, as well. There are ways to achieve your own needs and feelings and still see that you do not step on your partners needs and feelings. And, whenever possible, those ways should be used over the alternatives.
I do not think that you truly disagree with me, as your posts regularly talk about making things light for the other person and not emotionally burdening them. This concept is no different. As you know, some ways of doing things are better than others, and this case would merely be acknowledging that fact.
If it were consideration, she would just do it. The fact that she is posting for backup is betraying her underlying fears.
* I get claustrophobic but I can't seem to find the courage to tell my boyfriend this.
* i guess i still think in the back of my mind that the guy is blow torching.
The bottom line is, if he is a good guy, he wants her to be happy and take care of herself. He might fuss a little but underneathe ... he wants her to be happy. (If he is a good guy and he seems to be.)
* I get claustrophobic but I can't seem to find the courage to tell my boyfriend this.
* i guess i still think in the back of my mind that the guy is blow torching.
The bottom line is, if he is a good guy, he wants her to be happy and take care of herself. He might fuss a little but underneathe ... he wants her to be happy. (If he is a good guy and he seems to be.)
Get your point LS, I can see some of that. I just don't think that it is completely that. Some consideration is there. My opinion.
Which is why I am saying tell him that you will be back and the exact date you will be back.
I am not saying HP is bad or doomed to fail or anything like that ... just suggesting she look at why she doesn't feel okay about taking time off from the relationship and gives in when she wants something else.
* Each time we say "OK, tonight we need sleep so we have to sleep at our houses", he ends up calling me wanting to see me. I give in of course because I like being near him, too.
I think if she knew deep down that it was okay to say no (which is the number one problem MOST women have IMO) and that he would still love her, if not love her more, then she would have no problem with taking a bit of me time.
* Each time we say "OK, tonight we need sleep so we have to sleep at our houses", he ends up calling me wanting to see me. I give in of course because I like being near him, too.
I think if she knew deep down that it was okay to say no (which is the number one problem MOST women have IMO) and that he would still love her, if not love her more, then she would have no problem with taking a bit of me time.
Oh, sorry! My stuff about consideration was just speaking objectively about the option I put up. LOL!
Alcheme, you're right, it doesn't fit a Taurus profile. I have asserted myself and am perfectly OK with telling him I need space and I have done it, but the little voice in my head sometimes tells me that I am not allowing enough space.
I'm not asking for permission, although it does appear that way. We're all here (most of us anyway) for advice on how Libras tick. Taurus have a certain way of approaching things (sometimes "in your face") and before I did it (and I plan to, permission or not), I wanted to know what I'm in for.
I'm not asking for permission, although it does appear that way. We're all here (most of us anyway) for advice on how Libras tick. Taurus have a certain way of approaching things (sometimes "in your face") and before I did it (and I plan to, permission or not), I wanted to know what I'm in for.
"Alcheme, you're right, it doesn't fit a Taurus profile. I have asserted myself and am perfectly OK with telling him I need space and I have done it"
Yeah, considering we are generally both on the speak your mind band wagon, I didn't really figure that you would have a problem with that. My choices were more objective, impersonal ones considering the situation, not the person. I veered more towards the "best way to brooch the subject" option, but to be honest, part of me says the last one might be a slight possibility, or atleast somewhere in your mind (given your comment about the "blow torching" and your apparent hesitation to get too excited about the speed at which it is progressing).
"Taurus have a certain way of approaching things (sometimes "in your face") "
No?!? Really? 😉
"I wanted to know what I'm in for."
Being prepared for someone's reaction is always a good thing! Nothing like a response out freaking left field to ruin a nicely thought out discussion (and not to mention what could have been a good day). 🙂
Yeah, considering we are generally both on the speak your mind band wagon, I didn't really figure that you would have a problem with that. My choices were more objective, impersonal ones considering the situation, not the person. I veered more towards the "best way to brooch the subject" option, but to be honest, part of me says the last one might be a slight possibility, or atleast somewhere in your mind (given your comment about the "blow torching" and your apparent hesitation to get too excited about the speed at which it is progressing).
"Taurus have a certain way of approaching things (sometimes "in your face") "
No?!? Really? 😉
"I wanted to know what I'm in for."
Being prepared for someone's reaction is always a good thing! Nothing like a response out freaking left field to ruin a nicely thought out discussion (and not to mention what could have been a good day). 🙂
fo' sho'
Maybe I'm too considerate of his feelings. What causes that? The Moon? If that's the case, I have a Leo moon and that shouldn't fit me. LOL but I have a Pisces Venus, so I'm a walking contradiction...
crap
Maybe I'm too considerate of his feelings. What causes that? The Moon? If that's the case, I have a Leo moon and that shouldn't fit me. LOL but I have a Pisces Venus, so I'm a walking contradiction...
crap
"Maybe I'm too considerate of his feelings. What causes that?"
I don't know, but it could be just that your a female. That sounds horrible, I know. But, women generally tend to be more emotional and intuitive and therefore I believe try to be more considerate of other people's emotions in general than most men.
"Moon? If that's the case, I have a Leo moon and that shouldn't fit me. LOL "
Actually, I wouldn't necessarily agree with that. From what I have read, Leo's when pushed will become firey and perhaps tend to disregard others feelings (even those they love, but when in love they tend to go to great lengths to try and make their partners happy. Just look at our endearing Chatz... 🙂
"but I have a Pisces Venus"
That would probably help a lot, too. I think that Venus is how you react in love or relationships (and your concept of and reaction to "beauty").
"so I'm a walking contradiction...crap"
LOL! I know how you feel... Haha!
I don't know, but it could be just that your a female. That sounds horrible, I know. But, women generally tend to be more emotional and intuitive and therefore I believe try to be more considerate of other people's emotions in general than most men.
"Moon? If that's the case, I have a Leo moon and that shouldn't fit me. LOL "
Actually, I wouldn't necessarily agree with that. From what I have read, Leo's when pushed will become firey and perhaps tend to disregard others feelings (even those they love, but when in love they tend to go to great lengths to try and make their partners happy. Just look at our endearing Chatz... 🙂
"but I have a Pisces Venus"
That would probably help a lot, too. I think that Venus is how you react in love or relationships (and your concept of and reaction to "beauty").
"so I'm a walking contradiction...crap"
LOL! I know how you feel... Haha!
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Your not bugging me at all, I am just trying to remind you to keep it light hearted and to let the small problems be small problems. Your both insecure about past relationships, but everything is going to work out and you just need to remind yourself that he has nothing to do with your past and vice versa.
Get playful, stop worrying about keys and over discussing things that are comming naturally and focus on pulling his pants down around his ankles and running out of the bathroom giggling while he is standing there brushing his teeth or trying to put his contacts in.