What's His Deal?
This topic was created in the Libra forum by houstonpeach74 on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 and has 20 replies.
My fiance's friend/roommate continues to treat me disrespectful. Several months ago, I've talked about how he doesn't talk to me, barely acknowledges me, has said some harsh things about me, etc. To this day, he hasn't changed. Last week, he told my fiance' "Wow, I still can't believe you are marrying her. I'm surprised you guys are still together." WOW! That floored me that this guy has something so against me that 6 months later, he's still holding onto some wicked kind of hate for me. I have never been rude or beligerant to this guy, yet he acts this way.
My sister, best friend, and mom all say that he's either 1) jealous of what I have with my fiance' and the time HE chooses to spend with me or 2) gay and acting like a vendictive girl who wants to snatch the man away from the other girl.
Ok, had to vent...
My sister, best friend, and mom all say that he's either 1) jealous of what I have with my fiance' and the time HE chooses to spend with me or 2) gay and acting like a vendictive girl who wants to snatch the man away from the other girl.
Ok, had to vent...
My fiance' asked me a month or so ago if he'd like for the roommate to move out soon and I told him that it wouldn't be fair to him to make him do that. We're getting married in December, so the roommate still has plenty of time. It's just funny that no matter how disrespectful he has been and continues to be with me, I still consider his feelings when I make decisions.
Frustrating
Some men get weird when their male friends marry off. They act like jealous girls. It is the oddest thing.
I think when they see their friends pairing off they realize they might be left behind. Instead of doing something about it, they freak on the girl. I wonder sometimes if they have Bert and Ernie fantasies about hanging out with their guy friend, drinking beer on the porch, for the rest of their days. Suddenly this girl comes in and wrecks it all.
Just rise above. It is his stuff. You just keep being you cause obviously your fiance loves you.
Did you pick a day yet?
I think when they see their friends pairing off they realize they might be left behind. Instead of doing something about it, they freak on the girl. I wonder sometimes if they have Bert and Ernie fantasies about hanging out with their guy friend, drinking beer on the porch, for the rest of their days. Suddenly this girl comes in and wrecks it all.
Just rise above. It is his stuff. You just keep being you cause obviously your fiance loves you.
Did you pick a day yet?
yes, december 6th.
this guy has been this way since i've met him. he's very jaded about women, but i guess since i have a heavy presence, i'm the one he chooses to target. he's told my fiance that he thought he could do better than me, and that he didn't see how he could be tied down to someone like me, and just recently that he was surprised that we're still together.
he's a jerk. i've bitten my tongue every time. i'm beginning to think that if he hasn't this pent up anger towards me, maybe i should give him reasons to hate me?
this guy has been this way since i've met him. he's very jaded about women, but i guess since i have a heavy presence, i'm the one he chooses to target. he's told my fiance that he thought he could do better than me, and that he didn't see how he could be tied down to someone like me, and just recently that he was surprised that we're still together.
he's a jerk. i've bitten my tongue every time. i'm beginning to think that if he hasn't this pent up anger towards me, maybe i should give him reasons to hate me?
if he has this pent...
Sounds like he is a masoginist and you are the easiest target. What does fiance say about it all.
YAY! I will send you tons of well wishes for your beautiful December wedding.
YAY! I will send you tons of well wishes for your beautiful December wedding.
no, he's not part of the wedding brigade. he will get an invitation, but that's it.
my fiance hates confrontation so he sticks his head in the sand when i start giving my evil look. (nonconfrontation is a libra trait, eh?). i think sometimes he just either wishes it will stop on its own or he is expecting a miracle to occur and this guy will wake up and realize that I'M NOT THE ANTI-CHRIST.
my fiance hates confrontation so he sticks his head in the sand when i start giving my evil look. (nonconfrontation is a libra trait, eh?). i think sometimes he just either wishes it will stop on its own or he is expecting a miracle to occur and this guy will wake up and realize that I'M NOT THE ANTI-CHRIST.
* he is expecting a miracle to occur and this guy will wake up and realize that I'M NOT THE ANTI-CHRIST.
Probably this. He just wants you all (hee hee my faux southern accent for you HP) to get along.
Probably this. He just wants you all (hee hee my faux southern accent for you HP) to get along.
Hey HP, sounds just like my ex hubby's brother (Also a libra) who was a pisces (the brother) actually unfortunately my daughter is born on the brother's b-day. I went crazy trying to keep her in while in labor just so I wouldn't have her on his b-day. I didn't tell anyone I was in labor until I just couldn't take it anymore.
Atleast your libra stood up for you or did something about it. Mine, might have mentioned something to him once or twice but sometimes he allowed him to disrespect me!
I want to move to Austin, TX next year!!! Need your help Assistance!!! I am so happy you guys are getting married. Are you still coming for the Taste???
Atleast your libra stood up for you or did something about it. Mine, might have mentioned something to him once or twice but sometimes he allowed him to disrespect me!
I want to move to Austin, TX next year!!! Need your help Assistance!!! I am so happy you guys are getting married. Are you still coming for the Taste???
Well as a Libra he will always keep you first..I believe that his friend is very jealous of you and afraid his friend won't be spending as much time.You are doing right by being the bigger person trustme.When you two get married i'm sure he'll be TRULY HATIN,LOL!
The roomie is pisces. Austin is where I grew up and still have family. You will love it there.
This is how I see it.
The roomie may be protective of your libra like any sibling would be. No one would be good enough for my sisters or brother. Not to mention that he is now out of house and home since you two are getting married.
You know why he's mean to you. He doesnt think your good enough for the guy. simple. Its just a good thing his opinion doesnt matter to your guy on the subject.
The roomie may be protective of your libra like any sibling would be. No one would be good enough for my sisters or brother. Not to mention that he is now out of house and home since you two are getting married.
You know why he's mean to you. He doesnt think your good enough for the guy. simple. Its just a good thing his opinion doesnt matter to your guy on the subject.
he was a tool prior to the engagement.
HP, could be you're just not his TYPE---so he doesn't understand your fiance's attraction to you. AND he's just a jerk.
So I get this email from the roommate yesterday requesting that he and I talk. Turns out that he hates the fact that I help myself to walking through my fiance's front door instead of knocking. My fiance' knows when I'm coming over; I didn't realize I had to clear it with the roommate. Also turns out that he will "accommodate" me when I am at my roommate's house. WTF...accommodate? I have spent the last 9 months accepting and respecing him despite him being a total asshole to me and I'm so lucky as to get accommodate...His tone was so condescending and hateful. It was one thing for me to gripe about him and not understand why he hated me before, but he's now dead to me. I know that sounds harsh, but I've tried very hard in the last several months to try to include him in things we do and include him with dinner, etc. I'm done trying after our discussing. My fiance' asked him to try to find a resolution in our tension; he instead too the opportunity to point a lot of fingers at me for things I had no knowledge of. His intent was not to resolve, but rather to accuse.
**Stepping down from Soap Box**
**Stepping down from Soap Box**
typo:
I meant to type will "accommodate" me when I am at my fiance's house."
I meant to type will "accommodate" me when I am at my fiance's house."
Oh! I get what is upseting him. Duh on me that I didn't see it earlier.
It is the roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend is always there dilemna. I totally get that. Basically what is wrong is that you guys hang out in the house. Coming in without knocking, probably eating stuff, using stuff. To you, you don't see the big deal but to him, you are invading his privacy. It oftens happens in roommate situations.
In a way, living with a roommate is really stressful. You get so little alone time to begin with then coming home to a houseful of people, it really grates.
Imagine that you come home after a long day and someone else who you don't particularly like is always there. It would start to grate. I know you probably don't spend all of your time there but to him, it seems like it.
Just hang out more at your place. I am suprised that your fiance and roommate don't have a structure to handle this situation to begin with. This is one of the biggest conflicts between roommates. Well ... that and leaving messes everywhere.
Me and my roommate have a "No Shagging In Earshot" policy. We only have other people over VERY occassionally and always let the other person know in advance. (Maybe once every 3 or 4 months.) We also have a lot of the same friends so it is more enjoyable when someone is there. The other thing is me and my roomie are always on the go so usually we are only home together one night a week.
It is the roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend is always there dilemna. I totally get that. Basically what is wrong is that you guys hang out in the house. Coming in without knocking, probably eating stuff, using stuff. To you, you don't see the big deal but to him, you are invading his privacy. It oftens happens in roommate situations.
In a way, living with a roommate is really stressful. You get so little alone time to begin with then coming home to a houseful of people, it really grates.
Imagine that you come home after a long day and someone else who you don't particularly like is always there. It would start to grate. I know you probably don't spend all of your time there but to him, it seems like it.
Just hang out more at your place. I am suprised that your fiance and roommate don't have a structure to handle this situation to begin with. This is one of the biggest conflicts between roommates. Well ... that and leaving messes everywhere.
Me and my roommate have a "No Shagging In Earshot" policy. We only have other people over VERY occassionally and always let the other person know in advance. (Maybe once every 3 or 4 months.) We also have a lot of the same friends so it is more enjoyable when someone is there. The other thing is me and my roomie are always on the go so usually we are only home together one night a week.
HP,
I really think you are misunderstanding. He is bringing up what has been bothering him since the get go so you guys can resolve it.
I really think if you ask him if he would prefer if your fiance and him hang out less there, he will say yes and tensions will ease. You may also want to say you had no idea that this was bothering him so much. It really was an oversight.
I really think you are misunderstanding. He is bringing up what has been bothering him since the get go so you guys can resolve it.
I really think if you ask him if he would prefer if your fiance and him hang out less there, he will say yes and tensions will ease. You may also want to say you had no idea that this was bothering him so much. It really was an oversight.
Other things were mentioned besides the boy knocking thing. I see your point...but I can't fix something he doesn't like if he forfby say something. It took him nearly a year to say this, that's not my problem. But like I said he said some other hurtful things to me , of which I'm still analyzing. The guy isn't invited to the wedding ...some of the things he said to me pissed off my fiance that he told him that he wanted him moved out by end of August...the original plan was early November.
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