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Oct 03, 2007Comments: 0 · Posts: 1887 · Topics: 46
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Oct 03, 2007Comments: 0 · Posts: 1887 · Topics: 46
I know. I'm always right.
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Apr 13, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
"I ran into him at a shopping center. We hug and greet. Start talking and he says "I wish I had somebody to cook for me" "
Bingo .... my original thoughts come full circle ..
"he laughs and says "i was telling a friend the other day that I dont think I'll be able to have a girl friend for 2 or 3 years because nobody can handle my work schedule""
Southern .. I am uncertain why you then blurted out about being on the same page. By him saying the above is in essence saying, he does NOT want to have a girlfriend for several years.
:: pulls out club ::
"and said "so what your saying is that you dont want a girlfriend right now" (I clearly gave him the chance to say "no I'm not looking for anything like that right now") he said "NO, that's not what I'm saying""
Yet, that's exactly what he meant, Southern .. he's playing you ..
Bail .. now, while you still have your dignity in tact.
"I said "well, you cant necassarily make that assumption about somebody not being able to handle your schedule without being willin to at least discuss it" he says "yeah well. Man, I dont know"......"
This sounds desperate ... he makes the suggestion that he's NOT interested in a relationship, while jokingly making the comment that he's wanting a woman to cook for him ... and you respond by giving the impression that this is acceptable to you, and you will cater to him anyway ...
You're gonna get so fucked ... swim, now !!!!!!!!!!!
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Oct 03, 2007Comments: 0 · Posts: 1887 · Topics: 46
Let her decide what to do. I think you should bail too but your feelings might get in the way of your most practicle outcome.
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Apr 13, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
Which is why I've gone above and beyond with him, from day one, and will doso until I die .... for it's quite common to treat our children the way we were treated by our parents.
I refuse to ignore this .... he knows it was fucked up, and I don't ever ignore what he did to him as a boy .. we discuss it frequently.
We went to counseling ever since he was 10 years old, until he became an adult .. and the counselors always got on my ass about reminding the boy about what he endured and said I was causing emotional scars and that he cannot mend until I let it go .. I disagree, and still disagree with this assessment ... ignorance breeds ignorance.
My brother and father had a horrible Father/Son relationship and so I imagine this is where most of it came from. From my brothers perspective, my father treated him like crap .. from my fathers perspective, my brother was disobediant and got what he deserved.
The circle has ended ...... and my son knows full well that if I ever find out that he's abusing my grandchildren .. I WILL protect them, no matter what.
He won't though .. he's a great father. He's the complete opposite than how he was treated as a child .. even to the point of overcompensating and being too giving .. creating brats, lol
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Apr 13, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
lol, we all make our own choices, Scorpius .. if a person asks other people what they think about something .. this doesn't mean that the other person is making their life-decisions for them, lol.
The way I read into everything ... he's playing her.
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Sep 13, 2007Comments: 0 · Posts: 455 · Topics: 31
"Let her decide what to do. I think you should bail too but your feelings might get in the way of your most practicle outcome."
That's one thing about Virgo's. Even though I feel like crying right now, my logic overshadows that feeling. I don't have anything else to say to him at this point.
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Apr 13, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
"I think you should bail too but your feelings might get in the way of your most practicle outcome."
You don't know me very well, then ... a person can say anything they like about me, to me, around me .. it's a rare day that I allow other people to effect my feelings .. how I choose to feel belongs to me, not another person.
You're absolutely right .. I should bail, and have been saying this for quite some time now. What's holding me back is the fact that he doesn't get it yet, no matter how I express myself to him, the light hasn't gone off in his head yet that we're not happy.
That's why I cut him off ....
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Apr 13, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
Southern ... can I ask you something? You said that he was the man of your dreams. How is this so?
What does he do that makes him fit this bill?
Does he actually DO something that makes him your dream man?
Do your dreams of the perfect include one who isn't forthcoming with how he feels about you? Do they include having to feel miserable because there are other women you have to compete with to win him?
I'm just curious about this .... if he makes you feel so horrible with his treatment of you .. then how have you made this into him being the man of your dreams?
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Sep 13, 2007Comments: 0 · Posts: 455 · Topics: 31
him....(and I'm looking at the things about him that would compliment and fit into MY life)
1) He doesnt drink or smoke. Which is VERY rare to find these days. And I'm not knocking anybody who does, I just have a personal preference to date somebody who doesnt. To me that's just one less obstacle down the road of many obstacles to come in a normal longterm relationship.
2) We are both in the same place spiritualy. Which is something I take seriously. Neither one of us are saints but we both make conscious efforts. (and we are both the same age)
3) We come from the same financial and economic backgrounds and were both raised in two parent homes.
4) He has a loving and respectful relationship with both his mother and father. And the relationship that a man has with his mother is very important to me and should be to any woman.
5) He has clear set career and financial goals.
6) and most importantly to me....I can be myself and be real around him. There is no facade or "uneasy" feeling around him. Everything feels natural and right without having to force anything or put any effort into it. It just flows.
7) We have the same temperments. (just from what I've seen so far. I know that I have alot to learn about him still...I'm not being naive in this category)
My only legitimate complaint right now about him is that he does not communicate well. (in my opinion) And it may be that he has a problem with that himself or it might be the fact that he's a man and I'm a woman and communcation is going to be different and difficult anyways. Now, the things that I have listed about him may not be important factors to everybody else to look at in regards to a relationship, but they are simply the things that are important to me.