Sarcastic ways to say no to non-smokers
I wrote these this morning after searching through my head's dictionary of sarcasm. This is dedicated to all the smokers here. Enjoy.
Smoking's bad for your health!
"So is the stress you're causing me."
You need to quit now because it polutes the air.
"Okay fine but only after you buy an electric car."
Did you know it causes cancer?
"Sorry, I couldn't hear you. I was chewing my juicy half-cooked steak."
Cloves make an annoying crackling sound and it's too loud.
"So is your tie die shirt."
Next time you want a smoke just have a piece of gum instead!
"Next time you want to eat just drink water."
Smoking is disgusting and makes you look older.
"Really? You seem to have mastered that naturally!"
The next time you buy a pack I'm going to throw it out.
"The next time you talk I'm going to chop off your tongue."
Kissing you is like kissing an ash tray.
"At least I've never practiced kissing an ash tray."
Did you know there's fiberglass in menthols?
"Did you know there's lead in Chinese toys?"
Every cigarette you smoke takes 15 seconds from your life.
"Every word you speak takes 40 from mine."
No, I'm sorry but I don't date smokers.
"That's okay. Now that I think of it, I don't date ugly."
Smoking's bad for your health!
"So is the stress you're causing me."
You need to quit now because it polutes the air.
"Okay fine but only after you buy an electric car."
Did you know it causes cancer?
"Sorry, I couldn't hear you. I was chewing my juicy half-cooked steak."
Cloves make an annoying crackling sound and it's too loud.
"So is your tie die shirt."
Next time you want a smoke just have a piece of gum instead!
"Next time you want to eat just drink water."
Smoking is disgusting and makes you look older.
"Really? You seem to have mastered that naturally!"
The next time you buy a pack I'm going to throw it out.
"The next time you talk I'm going to chop off your tongue."
Kissing you is like kissing an ash tray.
"At least I've never practiced kissing an ash tray."
Did you know there's fiberglass in menthols?
"Did you know there's lead in Chinese toys?"
Every cigarette you smoke takes 15 seconds from your life.
"Every word you speak takes 40 from mine."
No, I'm sorry but I don't date smokers.
"That's okay. Now that I think of it, I don't date ugly."
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thats most men
yay, QS....so your divorce is finally final?
"krobe03--->Southren how old is this guy? If he is a younger Cancer male, yes, he will hang on but once he finds someone he plans on being loyal to, he will let go. He may not be emotionally mature yet."
He's 28. He called and texted me the other day for Christmas. Saying "Just wanted to call you and tell you that I love you. And I can't help but think about you during the holidays because we spent sooo much time together. Mama says hello my brother say's hello and everybody else. I love you baby and I hope you enjoy the season"
I even talked to his mom on x-mas day and she laughed and told me that she still has my framed pictures up in her house. And that she doesnt have any pictures up of his current girl who has his child. And she said to me "yeah he mentioned you the other day and said that that the two of you had been talking" and I said "yeah we have, and I don't know if that's a good idea or not" and she said "well you never know what can happen. Never know what fate has in store and right now, he really needs your friendship" (I guess with him being a new father now and with him having alot of internal battles within himself)
He's 28. He called and texted me the other day for Christmas. Saying "Just wanted to call you and tell you that I love you. And I can't help but think about you during the holidays because we spent sooo much time together. Mama says hello my brother say's hello and everybody else. I love you baby and I hope you enjoy the season"
I even talked to his mom on x-mas day and she laughed and told me that she still has my framed pictures up in her house. And that she doesnt have any pictures up of his current girl who has his child. And she said to me "yeah he mentioned you the other day and said that that the two of you had been talking" and I said "yeah we have, and I don't know if that's a good idea or not" and she said "well you never know what can happen. Never know what fate has in store and right now, he really needs your friendship" (I guess with him being a new father now and with him having alot of internal battles within himself)
unfortunately, a mutual friend opened her big mouth before I had the chance to tell her myself & my virgo is totally ignoring me. she said it made her feel unconfortable but that I didn't do anything bad but she said she would come around. she has said in the past mixed signals for sure. there is an obvious connexion. she has said she considered me her partner. she also has mentioned to another mutual friend that there was chemistry between us. now this. oh well. I heard in regards to virgo females, this is good? since she has not told me she doesn't have feelings for me. that most fem virgos hide feelings when they have them. that if she didn't she would come straight out and say it.
no what?
no what?
I'm 21 people think I'm 19 most of the time
"I only feel guilty later because I end up getting my feelings hurt..and sense its happened before I feel I shouldve known better and shouldve seen this coming.."
If you attempted to use even a smidgeon of sense, you'd have realized the first time that you should know better beforehand, rather than doing it anyway and then feeling guilty about it.
Sounds to me that you like being a slut .. you have knowledge, you have experience, you have the ability of forsight .. yet, fuck yourself up anyway ..
If you attempted to use even a smidgeon of sense, you'd have realized the first time that you should know better beforehand, rather than doing it anyway and then feeling guilty about it.
Sounds to me that you like being a slut .. you have knowledge, you have experience, you have the ability of forsight .. yet, fuck yourself up anyway ..
I was just fucking with her, SF, for her saying I was attacking her, when in fact, I did no such thing .. kind of like ..
.. Careful what you ask for, or accuse somebody of .. because I can indeed attack .. so, if she gets her panties in a wad, then she has nobody to blame except herself for having no forsight.
.. Careful what you ask for, or accuse somebody of .. because I can indeed attack .. so, if she gets her panties in a wad, then she has nobody to blame except herself for having no forsight.
"I usually date for a minimum of two to three months before even thinking about anything intimate. The longer you leave before bumping uglies, the more of a person's character you will uncover. In fact, with many men .. leave it three and they will be gone already, or sleeping with someone else."
Totally agree with DC's advice here. It's right on and works like a charm. There are other ways to express love besides sex. When I really like a guy, I actually cook for him. Like all non-microwavable stuff, too!
Totally agree with DC's advice here. It's right on and works like a charm. There are other ways to express love besides sex. When I really like a guy, I actually cook for him. Like all non-microwavable stuff, too!
If you want him to change you have to show him how to change, if he cares he will make an effort for a short time but eventually you have to get used to what he is all about. You cant change anyone only yourself. Dont play around with peoples feelings how would you feel if someone was doing it to you? Think about that first.
Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you play with his heart then you are not worth the effort. If you are stright up honest with him then you are worth the effort. Relationships are not about games. They are about 2 people trying to join lives with one another. If you cant handle his after sex habbits then go elsewhere he is not the one for you. Scorps are all about passions and sexual emotion they are not like that all the time. If a person was that passionate all the time they would make people sick..(no effence scorpios just trying to make a point). That why they are so passionate during love making cause they are untrusting of everyone. But if he is making love to you it means something to him. If you want a cuddle bear guy who you have to baby 24-7 then date a cancer male.
As for your scopio stop plsying games with him. He does not deserve that shit. No one does..
If he not for you leave him alone let him heel himself. Dont F% $ #ing drag him along. If you do drag him along your a bigger piece of shit then his getting dressed will ever be.
If you want him get used to it. Its not a big deal if he is busy. Think of it this way. He is taking time out of his busy schedual to please your ass and spend time with you. That says something..
If he only comes around to get a peice then thats your fault for giving it to him..
Dont be so selfish. Think about him too.
Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you play with his heart then you are not worth the effort. If you are stright up honest with him then you are worth the effort. Relationships are not about games. They are about 2 people trying to join lives with one another. If you cant handle his after sex habbits then go elsewhere he is not the one for you. Scorps are all about passions and sexual emotion they are not like that all the time. If a person was that passionate all the time they would make people sick..(no effence scorpios just trying to make a point). That why they are so passionate during love making cause they are untrusting of everyone. But if he is making love to you it means something to him. If you want a cuddle bear guy who you have to baby 24-7 then date a cancer male.
As for your scopio stop plsying games with him. He does not deserve that shit. No one does..
If he not for you leave him alone let him heel himself. Dont F% $ #ing drag him along. If you do drag him along your a bigger piece of shit then his getting dressed will ever be.
If you want him get used to it. Its not a big deal if he is busy. Think of it this way. He is taking time out of his busy schedual to please your ass and spend time with you. That says something..
If he only comes around to get a peice then thats your fault for giving it to him..
Dont be so selfish. Think about him too.
"Indeed...they are SHMOOOOKIN. The TRUE scorpios, that is. Not the wannabes."
I think the true ones should be all be forced to hang out in one spot. And then we get a map...with a great big X on it.
I think the true ones should be all be forced to hang out in one spot. And then we get a map...with a great big X on it.