What signs will power struggle with each other?
It's more like one of you is an actual asshole thing.
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Posted by ArieseiraGirlll do not feel ashamed for anything, what you went through it's very tough and these reactions are all part of the abuse. Unfortunately by the time our friends or family realise they're no good, we've already been heavily trauma bonded with the abuser. It's really brainwashing us.Posted by Libra_galYou described it perfectly and see clearly what Ive been afraid to admit to myself, although knowing already its abusive. Ive hidden things from him so he doesnt criticize me (like buying things and literally stuffing in a bag so he does not know), not telling of whom I met, what I ate and.. fuck, skipping gym a few times cause that would make me non-dedicated in life in general. Wow, ashamed to even tell it here.Posted by ArieseiraOh dear, Arielle83 is so very right. This is emotional abuse and I am afraid it might be more serious than you even realise. You were preyed upon, you have been love-bombed and then devalued/discarded. Now the problem is not what happened to you emotionally as with every normal relationship, but what happened to your brain and self-esteem.
Sorry, took a while. Past week has been a rollercoaster of me loosing dignity and trying to find last bits of common sense of his acts. Long story short- we broke up. Or.. he broke up with me.
I invited him to an event I waited for for MONTHS!! Took him to dinner before, and there he goes, and I quote "do we have to be here? Im bored, I dont feel like you are smart enough to talk to. All you talk about is b***t." At this point Im completely shocked of how DARE he act like that when I plan the whole day and the next for both of us! I asked him wheher he even wants to go (being completely ready to walk out the rstaurant myself) and all he says"well I have to..." Then I asked him if he is even into me anymore? He asks where the bathroom is and walks out the restaurant. Im like... what. Did. Just. Happen.
I drove back to his home, waited for him for explanation and all he says-" lets quit it. Its not you, its me (reeaaaallyyyy.?.). Lets stay in touch later, we are too emotional to talk right now."
I came home to discover im blocked on w/up.
A couple of days ago I asked himwhy is he so distant, to which he said its all fine, it comes in waves and it will pass.
So.. yeah. My mind is completely aware of this mess and I honestly cannot believe I wasnt the one to end this. Like sadly laughung about myself of this turn of events.
One thing i NEED to understand- WILL he contact me soon or not? I need my answers. Cause I know ill be the one calli g in a week to check up on him.. pls help..?
The abusive cycle is an addictive one for you both. In first stages, when everything is going great, your brain will get flooded with the feeling good neurotransmitters as dopamine, oxytocin, etc. However, the abusers need your emotional distress to make themselves feel powerful so when they start treating you like shit FOR NO REAL REASON, your brain will get flooded with bad neurotransmitters as cortisol and adrenaline. You do not understand what happened, but you do try to get things back to where they were in the beginning. In reality, in those moments, what happens is that our brains will seek the good hormones again and so we will try harder and harder to get back to that state much to the satisfaction of the abuser. It is pure addiction. There will come again a time when they'll give some attention or so, but just to keep you in their game, to see if they still hold power on you. It is called intermittent reinforcing.
You need to stop this story with this guy at this very moment! It is very serious. Block him ASAP. If he comes back, the abuse, these bad feelings you have, will only escalate. You need to understand what is happening to you, you need to rebuild your self esteem and grow strong boundaries to keep these creatures away. It's a lot of work to do and you need to start now. Please look for more info about emotional abuse narcissistic personality disorder.
And yes, everytime he made future plans, hugged me, said smth good I did notice getting the posotive adrenaline rush solely because I made HIM feel good about us.
I cannot thank you all enough to spotting all this so perfectly. Even few of my friends to whom I told this, ALL have described him as a psycho. One guy even said hes a peace of s*** for leaving a womam paying for events.
And as it is typical to emotionally abused- I feel like I see through his bs- hes a kind, voulnurable person who himself needs reassurance, attention and papmering. When he is like that, its what I actually fell for and missed in the latest times..click to expand
What they say about that vulnerable person you sometimes miss, is that it's not real. Nothing was. It was all a persona created to seduce and lure you in, to make you miss it when it's gone without realising that what you miss is poison. Truly is, for your mind, soul and body. They do have a broken core, but it cannot be healed by other humans, no matter the amount of love. I am sorry if it sounds tough, but it's the truth.
You really need to look for info about NPD disorder, the understanding of what happened will stop the cravings. You feel drained, you need to take care of yourself. Take the focus off of him and put it on you. You're a strong aries, you've got this! Wishing you all the best!
Virgos don’t like to give second chances BUT there are some exceptions.
Give her space. She is thinking. I think she will come around. You are making effort into changing and she will take notice of your effort. Hang in there.
Give her space. She is thinking. I think she will come around. You are making effort into changing and she will take notice of your effort. Hang in there.
We have tattoos 😂😂😂😂
Posted by tink999I've been in two LDR but the crucial detail with both is that I'd met them prior to it becoming an LDR. You don't need to have personally experienced an LDR in order to offer useful information. But since that appears to be your criterion I shall answer.
No, not yet. And please... I know what you’ll say. But that’s not the issue. I know we haven’t met yet. Some people don’t have the money to do so. Some couples don’t meet for awhile. He and I have discussed this already. Unless you’ve been in a long distance relationship, you’ll never understand. All i wasn’t to know is if you think he has feelings based on walhat I mentioned.
No. I don't think he does have real feelings for you. How can he? He doesn't know you, he has never met you, and there doesn't appear to have been a plan in order to meet you therefore how can you possibly develop genuinely credible and sustainable feelings for another person.
There's only so much text, phone calls, and Skype you can do and it is certainly no substitute for having someone available within a reasonable distance.
There's a reason you haven't met. If that's due to a lack of money then I can assure you that this LDR is not going to get off the ground, ever. Even if you saved enough for one trip, what then? What does this future hold? Why bother to put yourselves through this only to meet once and then have no plan of how you will continue to meet or to sustain a relationship.
This is a lost cause. He probably killed some time talking with you. Now he's got other shit to do. You can't just pop over to him for a cup of tea. It has run its course. There's 8 billion people on this planet. Find someone closer to home because this one has run out of legs.
Was in a relationship with a cancer. It was great until it suddenly ended and I was pretty head over in heels and became quite numb after the break up. It was a great relationship looking back, one that I learned a lot from.
I don’t think I do well with fellow water signs. The relationship becomes too unbalanced imo. Earth signs suit me better.
I don’t think I do well with fellow water signs. The relationship becomes too unbalanced imo. Earth signs suit me better.
They most definitely are FALSE God's 🤦
@Effortless: "Greetings, Trash."
Posted by tizianiYeah that's what we'll do, a lot of replies here are making me or her seem worse than we are I think, this is just my side of the story she would tell it differently for sure.
Just meet up. That's common sense.
We're just people after all, a lot of the criticism I see here of me is certainly warranted but even more seem to just be people taking a side based on their own grievances and fighting over those based on who (me or her) they identify with more.
@Duncan : SHOW ME THE RECEIPTS!!! ☠️
In my experience, they initiate when they have something to say. Never a test. They like some space instead of ultimate clinginess. But not too much. I’ve always preferred conversations on the phone or in person rather than texts with an aqua.