Children vs Significant Others
Wow, CL1975 thank you for sharing. That's exactly the story I was thinking about when I made this thread. Your story is not unique and yes I am glad you walked away from that experience with heightened values.
I realize that a lot of people discount what their children's opinions are. I noted mine each time. It wasn't until I saw how my son thought old boy didn't show up to my invite because of him that I realized his processing this from the first day when old boy didn't speak to him in the car. My trying to have something with this guy was affecting my son. The crazy part is that if my son had no wind of this guy I probably would still be putting up with his BS. At least a little while longer.
This guy pretty much just did the regular jerky stuff, not showing up to my three invites (dinner, family cookout, and beach outing with my sister and her fiance and my son). The one time we were at the beach he showed up and only stayed about 20mins and didn't wear beach gear. Which I understood because he wasn't invited but decided to come hang for a minute. I agree that he should have spoken the first day when my son was in the car. And, at this point, he's done enough unacceptable stuff in my son's eyes that being with him will definitely send my son the wrong message.
Children do come first, I have no schedule of when to introduce my children to someone. I usually don't if I can get away with it but sometimes circumstances catch you off guard. Children do listen and they're not as naive as we would like to believe. I have never dated anyone abusive of vices or domestically and would never subject my son to someone who I felt unworthy. This guy had none of those problems, he just wasn't interested in a relationship with me is the bottom line. I should have just kept us as friends the way I intended us to be and never bought into the smooth talk.
I realize that a lot of people discount what their children's opinions are. I noted mine each time. It wasn't until I saw how my son thought old boy didn't show up to my invite because of him that I realized his processing this from the first day when old boy didn't speak to him in the car. My trying to have something with this guy was affecting my son. The crazy part is that if my son had no wind of this guy I probably would still be putting up with his BS. At least a little while longer.
This guy pretty much just did the regular jerky stuff, not showing up to my three invites (dinner, family cookout, and beach outing with my sister and her fiance and my son). The one time we were at the beach he showed up and only stayed about 20mins and didn't wear beach gear. Which I understood because he wasn't invited but decided to come hang for a minute. I agree that he should have spoken the first day when my son was in the car. And, at this point, he's done enough unacceptable stuff in my son's eyes that being with him will definitely send my son the wrong message.
Children do come first, I have no schedule of when to introduce my children to someone. I usually don't if I can get away with it but sometimes circumstances catch you off guard. Children do listen and they're not as naive as we would like to believe. I have never dated anyone abusive of vices or domestically and would never subject my son to someone who I felt unworthy. This guy had none of those problems, he just wasn't interested in a relationship with me is the bottom line. I should have just kept us as friends the way I intended us to be and never bought into the smooth talk.