Posted by TheApparitionThis was well said. Thank you for that. I need to plaster this on a poster somewhere lmao. And yeah he’s the same kind of person that wants to do everything solo etc. so I always have to empathize that I’m here lol. I definitely try to give him his space as well.Posted by Cg2016
My love’s mom has stage 3 cancer. We’re far away from each other now. I have to work in nyc and he and his family lives in miami. A similar situation happened to me when I was 18 with another cancer moon guy. His mom ended up passing away. He shut me out and I was sad and upset but I obviously wouldn’t get upset this time around (10 years later). I mean I’ll keep the faith for her recovery of course, I wish nothing more. But my question to you all is how can I be a support to him at this time? What would you guys want?
"... How can I be a support to him at this time?"
• Make yourself available.
• Reinforce and understanding that your offer to be available is genuine and not simply an offer of obligation.
• Be diligent on checking in with them if an appropriate amount of time has passed and they have not checked in with you.
• Each time you speak with them ask at the beginning of the conversation if your role is to listen, to support, to advise, or to motivate.
• Validate their feelings with your own.
• Acknowledge their views, thoughts, or beliefs as they were conveyed to you before you add your own views thoughts, or beliefs.
• Know your limits and be realistic about them
• Support their hopes, and help them to understand their own limit. Do not set them for them.
In short... Just be yourself, lol. being there for somebody shouldn't be any different than any other day really. Reason you're both friends is because of who you are not who you try to be in a situation just because it's in that situation. You know what that looks like I'm sure."What would you guys want?"
Kind of sort of all of the things I said above, BUT I, myself, tend to be hyper self-reliant and typically don't like too much involvement from others. I don't like to inconvenience people with my own crap and a lot of times, if I'm pushed to include them in my crap, people tend to respond by trying to do too much. When that happens then I'm placed in an awkward position of trying not to upset them or be rude while I'm trying to get all this other stuff done so then it's an unnecessary additional pressure. I prefer to fly solo, but a large part of that has to do with the fact that I had to be self-reliant growing up out of necessity. It's just who I am now. Most people like the whole squishy help me smother me 'stuff', lol. 🤮click to expand
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