Cancer man issues, from hot sex and dating to friends???
Posted by GenerousLeeb31So, this is quite the update in answer to your questions.
That's the first time I hear a man withdrawing sex to establish a friendship first, why not both at the same time?
- maybe you haven't quite opened up as he's expecting you to and he thinks you're using him? As a Libra we might be perceived as superficial by water signs.
- maybe he has some problems down there or he just can't keep up with all that sex, he's 52 after all. He need a break.
- maybe he's traditional or religious and want to do it the old/right way, I don't know, it's mind boggling!
We spent several hours together this past Saturday evening because I needed his help with some work stuff. It was by far some of the most fun we’ve had, and it was a real breakthrough in our relationship.
The night before, I went out with some friends, one of whom happens to be a mutual friend close to both of us. He was able to explain so much that I didn’t know, particularly about how his ex-wife had really messed him up. It seems he feels some guilt about getting into a new relationship because he fears his sons might think he’s betraying their mom, even after all this time. he’s also stuck in the past, framing future relationships around the expectation that other women will eventually drain him emotionally like his ex-wife did. He knows in his head that’s not the case, but he needs to work that out and believe it.
He spoke very freely and opened up to me about some things on Saturday that I totally didn’t expect. We both own the same type of business, and he chatted on forever about that, then stopped himself saying he didn’t have anybody else he could talk to about that. That’s what I told him, THIS IS WHAT FRIENDS DO. I used that opportunity to clear up, if we’re gonna work on the friendship, then I need it to be 50-50 and I need him to put in the effort. I need him to ask me out to things like movies, ice cream, karaoke, Home Depot, whatever. We need to talk, confide in each other, trust each other when that feels right. He agreed 100% . He reiterated that he just wasn’t emotionally there YET as far as giving me what I need in a committed relationship. This was really the most profound time we’ve spent together, so I told him I would stick with it as long as he could show me that he deserved my friendship.
As for the physical stuff, no, we’re not going to have sex but we still couldn’t keep our hands off each other, lol. So, the making out will continue LOL.. but I will say what was really fun and interesting is that we flirted the whole time, lots of innuendo, and just lots of giggles and sexy luxe. It was a totally different dynamic knowing that we still really want each other but that sex is off the table to focus on deepening the friendship. I’m still wary and I’m waiting to see if he does step up, but I feel OK giving him the opportunity to do that. I’ve just never been in a relationship where establishing a strong friendship is in the priority first, so it automatically led me to be skeptical. I’m still not 100% sold, but I’m willing to see where this goes.
As for the other physical stuff you asked about, he has the stamina of a 25 year old. We literally are in bed for HOURS. We usually both come twice (he ALWAYS makes sure I’m first), and he stays hard for a little bit after he’s done. I’ve never seen anything like it, I don’t even get me started on the kissing and the oral, lol. Why do you think it’s so hard for me to walk away?
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She thinks you are a coward and that she dodged a bullet.
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She thinks you are a coward and that she dodged a bullet.
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