Cancer husband being inappropriate with coworker
he's a little too comfortable and intimate with his co-worker...he needs to back up and show some respect for himself and his wife, he's asking for trouble
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you know...if you are truly a mom who wants to do the right thing by her kids...why in the world would you ever introduce a bf to your children and involve them in his life BEFORE SIX MONTHS!!
you're right... i was just so sure of this... he isn't the first bf i've had since my separation and i did not introduce anyone else to my children. i'm very heartbroken. i thought if i explained the situation between my ex and myself to my bf from the beginning there would be no doubts about it. he seemed very supportive about it and really seemed to respect it at the beginning. i will be way more cautious next time around.
second...maybe you should take the dad to court fr child support. that would be fair to your children.
I did take him to court... but he is unemployed so all they did was give him a court order that he has to tell them within 10 days of starting a job so they can calculate child support. I did what I could. I need the money, but the children need their father in their lives regardless. He is not abusive to them or me, he's just broke.
you're right... i was just so sure of this... he isn't the first bf i've had since my separation and i did not introduce anyone else to my children. i'm very heartbroken. i thought if i explained the situation between my ex and myself to my bf from the beginning there would be no doubts about it. he seemed very supportive about it and really seemed to respect it at the beginning. i will be way more cautious next time around.
second...maybe you should take the dad to court fr child support. that would be fair to your children.
I did take him to court... but he is unemployed so all they did was give him a court order that he has to tell them within 10 days of starting a job so they can calculate child support. I did what I could. I need the money, but the children need their father in their lives regardless. He is not abusive to them or me, he's just broke.
The user who posted this message has hidden it.
why is that so odd? the only reason i haven't "made a comeback", so to speak, is because i find it annoying when all of someone's posts disappear, and so would not want to wreak havoc upon the nerves of others. i kind of like the idea of just disappearing whenever i please.
Well said wheel homies =)
Well said wheel homies =)
^^^LOL.
5 K, DAYUM, someone owes me $ 70 dollars and I am on the WAR path about it and I want it TODAY!!
My life is not on hold for any body.
My patience however is in short supply, he makes these suggestions on the onset and then does the opposite. I'm told cancer needs a LOT of reassurance.
so do I.
My patience however is in short supply, he makes these suggestions on the onset and then does the opposite. I'm told cancer needs a LOT of reassurance.
so do I.
Ha Krobe03!
Ya...I got majorly sucked in.
Sis saw me coming and knows I make money.
If her brother was not in the mix at that point...I would have never had let myself be suckered into that. Her "invite for drinks and check out the rugs" happen to be a week after me and cancer first met on TDay...hmm...ironic.
I had SUCKER written all over my head I guess.
Ya...I got majorly sucked in.
Sis saw me coming and knows I make money.
If her brother was not in the mix at that point...I would have never had let myself be suckered into that. Her "invite for drinks and check out the rugs" happen to be a week after me and cancer first met on TDay...hmm...ironic.
I had SUCKER written all over my head I guess.
I've got a question about Pisces and the expression of their feelings that I hope the fabulous collective here might be able to help me with. I know that Pisces are incredibly feeling and empathetic and the rest - that I've got no issue with. What prompts them to shut down their expression of those feelings, though?
The Pisces I'm thinking of is an all-around wonderful person. He's also very shy (when it comes to revealing things about his inner workings), intensely private, and has this tendency to go completely cold when I'm expressing my feelings. The shyness and the privacy I get - when you're that nice of a person, you have to keep some things to yourself or else things simply become overwhelming. What I'd like to understand better is this shutting down aspect.
Example... I am saying goodbye to my Pisces after not having seen him for months. I'm sure we'll see each other again, but have no idea when. I start crying when I say goodbye and he just stands there and does nothing.
It's not a big deal in the greater scheme of things, but I don't really understand this back and forth. At times he can be very open and share quite a bit, other times he completely pulls away and rejects any form of intimacy. He's always kind, but when I'm expressing something I feel deeply he shuts down.
[And no, I don't express my feelings in the sort of "do this/change yourself/give me this"-way. I'm really good about keeping things to "I will miss you" or "I'm sad" and make sure there's no sort of blame or guilt involved.]
I really have no doubt about his affection for me (whether he sees me as a friend or whatever there's definitely some form of caring there). It's taken a while, but there's no longer any doubt in my mind that when he goes away he always comes back (he disappeared for 5 weeks over the holidays and when he resurfaced I acted like we had spoken the day before - that seems to have completely changed the depth of our conversations for the better). All that is well and good. Now I'm just trying to understand this aspect of his personality that I've never really been able to wrap my head around.
The Pisces I'm thinking of is an all-around wonderful person. He's also very shy (when it comes to revealing things about his inner workings), intensely private, and has this tendency to go completely cold when I'm expressing my feelings. The shyness and the privacy I get - when you're that nice of a person, you have to keep some things to yourself or else things simply become overwhelming. What I'd like to understand better is this shutting down aspect.
Example... I am saying goodbye to my Pisces after not having seen him for months. I'm sure we'll see each other again, but have no idea when. I start crying when I say goodbye and he just stands there and does nothing.
It's not a big deal in the greater scheme of things, but I don't really understand this back and forth. At times he can be very open and share quite a bit, other times he completely pulls away and rejects any form of intimacy. He's always kind, but when I'm expressing something I feel deeply he shuts down.
[And no, I don't express my feelings in the sort of "do this/change yourself/give me this"-way. I'm really good about keeping things to "I will miss you" or "I'm sad" and make sure there's no sort of blame or guilt involved.]
I really have no doubt about his affection for me (whether he sees me as a friend or whatever there's definitely some form of caring there). It's taken a while, but there's no longer any doubt in my mind that when he goes away he always comes back (he disappeared for 5 weeks over the holidays and when he resurfaced I acted like we had spoken the day before - that seems to have completely changed the depth of our conversations for the better). All that is well and good. Now I'm just trying to understand this aspect of his personality that I've never really been able to wrap my head around.
"Can you not remain emotionally composed once these things have been revealed?"
thought about it more ... I can but only if she doesn't get close to me and caress me, if she does then I will well up, I know that much because I dealt with all those issues on a rational level but never on an emotional one and she can arouse that in me
I am not afraid of this except that I have this inner feeling like she is trying to break me then leave once she gets into that inner me and sees a child desperate to be loved
you women can be very cruel sometimes and it's almost instinctive, you can't help it, but the strength of a real woman is her ability to fight past that instinctive tendency
men do that but it is more about the physical for them, once you get sexual with a woman and you start seeing her without her physical mask she sometimes starts looking ugly in your eyes and the challenge is to step back from this instinctive reaction and focus on other things or go away for a while and come back later, or in my case stay around and fight through it
"Don't treetrunking laugh because I'm laughing .... ONLY, ONLY laugh if YOU think it's funny. >>>> he'll still only embrace it IF I am,"
in fairness to your virgo P, this is a sign of a virgo who cares about you very much but unfortunately he is doing it in his own virgoan way by "setting the scene" and letting you have fun doing what you want without making you feel like he is left out which he knows will spoil your fun
you might do this to him too on some level by pretending to be fascinated by his stories or laugh at his jokes even though he knows it and he sometimes get frustrated by this too, he doesn't show his frustrations like you don't show yours
in my case my girl realises this and she either tells me before hand that "I don't have to do this" be it going shopping with her or calling her every night when I was away a month ago
this somehow helped me a lot in relieving the "pressure" I felt sometimes and definitely helped me sort out the wheat from the fluff when it comes to taking care of her, still a long way to go though
" and will reveal no passion or emotions that are his own."
for me this is because I don't like to be a burden on her, and because also it is hard for virgo to do so in the first place unless there is a 110% non judgemental person on the other side which of course we all know a pisces is to some level but you come and tell us this at the heat of the moment
thought about it more ... I can but only if she doesn't get close to me and caress me, if she does then I will well up, I know that much because I dealt with all those issues on a rational level but never on an emotional one and she can arouse that in me
I am not afraid of this except that I have this inner feeling like she is trying to break me then leave once she gets into that inner me and sees a child desperate to be loved
you women can be very cruel sometimes and it's almost instinctive, you can't help it, but the strength of a real woman is her ability to fight past that instinctive tendency
men do that but it is more about the physical for them, once you get sexual with a woman and you start seeing her without her physical mask she sometimes starts looking ugly in your eyes and the challenge is to step back from this instinctive reaction and focus on other things or go away for a while and come back later, or in my case stay around and fight through it
"Don't treetrunking laugh because I'm laughing .... ONLY, ONLY laugh if YOU think it's funny. >>>> he'll still only embrace it IF I am,"
in fairness to your virgo P, this is a sign of a virgo who cares about you very much but unfortunately he is doing it in his own virgoan way by "setting the scene" and letting you have fun doing what you want without making you feel like he is left out which he knows will spoil your fun
you might do this to him too on some level by pretending to be fascinated by his stories or laugh at his jokes even though he knows it and he sometimes get frustrated by this too, he doesn't show his frustrations like you don't show yours
in my case my girl realises this and she either tells me before hand that "I don't have to do this" be it going shopping with her or calling her every night when I was away a month ago
this somehow helped me a lot in relieving the "pressure" I felt sometimes and definitely helped me sort out the wheat from the fluff when it comes to taking care of her, still a long way to go though
" and will reveal no passion or emotions that are his own."
for me this is because I don't like to be a burden on her, and because also it is hard for virgo to do so in the first place unless there is a 110% non judgemental person on the other side which of course we all know a pisces is to some level but you come and tell us this at the heat of the moment