Dumped by Aquarius man?

Posted by clarra

Posted by SassyKiwi
These days most modern arranged marriages actually allow both a period of time getting to know each other or courtship. It’s rare to not get to know the other prior to the wedding to figure out if there’s a troubling past or serious character flaws, etc because your exact situation is so common. There are also many times people get blinded by the other family’s wealth/social status or something superficial to not do the best due diligence on the other person. Did you not get to know him prior to the wedding? Did your family/relatives not know much about him through grapevine?
I remember I had a friend’s sister who had an arranged marriage with a guy who was a distant relative of theirs who ended up lying about his age, education and occupation because none of their relatives actually cared to verify anything (they’re all now completely cut off from their lives in hindsight). He just looked tall and handsome? He ended up smooching off her family. The whole ordeal traumatized the other sisters and relatives. Everyone has these cautionary tales in arranged marriage communities one way or another for it to not repeat often. It’s also actually common for players/cheaters agreeing to marry someone from back in their countries (especially for second marriages) because they’re often blindly allured by western citizenships. Once they come here they reap what a shit person they are or divorce them after getting a citizenship and bring their own lover over from back home. These tales are as old as time. Honestly not much room for naivety these days.

I didn't know before marriage. We didn't have a lot of time to get to know each other but he was quite nice. He pretended to be happy with it. I found out later. It seems to me now that he was in denial all this time. He cares a lot about putting a happy couple image in front of the world when the reality is opposite. When we are with people he completely switches his personality. Our backgrounds are similar but he thinks we’re very incompatible.

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Posted by clarra

Posted by BadderBunny

Posted by MyStarsShine
His parents chose you for him
He didn’t have freewill
I’m wondering whether that could work between ye?

It feels like one of those Princess Diana and Prince Charles situations (he's also ironically a scorpio), where the guy was forced to marry someone his family found proper despite him already being in love with someone else. Its very unfair to the OP, as some women don't have much say when it comes to these arranged marriages. Her family has essentially signed her up to be in a loveless marriage, and if she's from a culture where divorce is out of the question, its for life. She is making an effort to love him, but he isn't interested in moving on from his ex and is being quite disrespectful about it in my opinion.
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Yes it's very similar. The difference is that he's turning into Joe from You. It hurts to see him hurting for her. All this obsessive behavior is unhealthy and I don't know where it will lead him. He's sacrificing his sleep to stalk her socials at night when he has a very demanding job. It's affecting his health. He chose to leave her and marry me then i don't understand why he can't move on?

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Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by clarra

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by clarra

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.

What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.

I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.

Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?

It's been three years going on four and he still calls her (anonymously, cause she won't answer but she knows its him), offers her money, begs, cries, pleads and everything. Scorpios like to offer an effortless life and he has done that too. Just like a Scorpio I dated offered me. She has tried everything to include being very mean, honest... she's mean in general... and telling him that she is not the same girl he fell in love with. She isn't. My little Pisces used to be a sweet little mouse. Now, she's an ethereal beautiful highly irritable goddess hiding a sword and asexual ta' boot.


I think it's my fault as I told her that as a Pisces, she needed to experience a Scorpio cause they are obsessed with Pisces.


You didn't answer my question of when you fell in love with him, and why? You don't have to, of course. But, I need to know in order to help you.

It was when I lost my dad, the same year we got married. He was there for me and was kind and caring. He helped me through that pain and I fell for him. But for him it was not love. He takes my responsibility, provides for me financially but he doesn’t love me back. He also tried to move abroad without me for work but his family stopped him.
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What you are describing is kinda normal not a thing that people fall in love for. That's love - a good dose of shallow and a good bit of caring depth that usually goes above and beyond normal expectations or actions. Why wouldn't a person be kind and caring? He supposed to be financially responsible.
That's the problem with not dating - seeing the norm as something extra-ordinary.
Don't try to convince yourself that you are in love. Give it a different more realistic spin in your head. You are comfortable with his basic decency.... something like that. Or, he is a good friend.... or, you are fond of him...
Don't make yourself fall in love due to his obsession either. That's another mindfuck to avoid. Detach from the situation a bit. Live your life as a single person (minus sex and dating) and use the opportunity of partnership to support your dreams, individualism, and growing your child into a wonderful human being.
The thing is... you're not in love with each other. No matter how much you try to tell yourself that. You have more capacity for delusion in this way. His delusions is in another way. You're both deluded. He knows that you are not in love with each other. He knows that you are not in love with him. Being in love with him may not change things either. But, he knows, even if you don't. See you went in with good intentions ready to fall in love. That's why you are so eager to claim that you are. But, you're not really there yet. He went in with a former lover and regrets so it's going to take him longer.
Can he obsess and fantasize his whole life, sure. But, have a little darkness about it. Turn whatever feelings you have about it into an enjoyment of him giving himself his own hell that he will inevitably deserve. This type of egotistic, self -inflicted pain may be difficult for innocent naive people to watch but I promise you that after a few years of this, your darkside will grow and grow to enjoy it. Probably to orgasmic proportions even.
You can give yourself a bit of fantasy as well... this is no different than an obsession with a movie star. Tell yourself that. And, always remember that you are not in love either. Don't force it, outpace him. Yes, you were prepared to fall in love to make this arranged marriage more palatable but, this obsession of his makes your good, open intentions detrimental.
Stop tracking his moves with her so closely if at all. You will also grow an obsession mistaken for love out of his obsession with her. It will not be love either. It will be gross envy, jealousy, or covetousness (like that of the other woman).... you'll swear it's love. But, it's not. Trust me.
Think of yourself as co-parenting with a sperm donor that you are fond of... something ultra modern.
Have a little pity for him. Could you imagine going into this thing with a former love and being forced to give him up? Dreaming of the life you could had. You had more of an advantage... No palatable pain.
So you can pity him as a peer in this you know. Maybe friendship and compassion could grow to love. Live in a partnership of two people bound together.

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Posted by clarra

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.

What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
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I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?

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