The creepiest moon around
Ha! People wish I cared that much.
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Posted by Jade_AlexanderThat's a lot of violence and struggling to survive.Posted by Lostthoughts
The process is:
Remembering
Which causes the emotions attached to them to be Reexperinced. Hopefully getting them out in a healthy way to drain some of the emotional power out of it to reprocess the experience. The anger shame sadness. A big part of trauma childhood truama is understanding it was never about you but the adult. Then the anger from that. Every emotions needs to be understood with onesself.
Then comes understanding and acceptance of what happened in the past. The memory remains but it's a lot lighter after that. Just another memory from the past. This is the natural process.
Usually if after all of that you feel something about it, then it relates to something import to you and then you take it as a learning experience of whst not to do or do differently yourself. With this Most tend to find ways in the world to stop it from happening to others or be there for other victims. Activism. Honestly reminds me of chiron in astrology.
Niw about you,
Well, you have a general idea what you need to do yourself to be emotionally stable. If he is upsetting you too it can cause a nasty feedback loop, reinforcing and feeding his own negative feelings with his past. So Your health is even more important now.
Thats what trauma is about, not the memories themselves but the emotions and feelings attached to them. It's why something will effect one person but do nothing to another.
It's ok not to be able to handle his state ALL the time. Give him space while letting him know you are still there and will be there. You yourself have to be stable.
Mind share what the trauma is and how he is acting out because of it?
Let summarize his childhood this way, his brother is brain damaged and lives at home due to the physical abuse from his father. He grew up in a very rough neighborhood and has held stab victims together when he was 10.
His last relationship ended when his wife had an affair.
So the man has endured a lot, which is why his nervous system is struggling atm. It’s trying to protect him so desperately and unfortunately it creates disruption in us. He feels anxiety about me leaving, or cheating. But it can be very intense at times. It’s not abusive, but it’s disruptive as my bandwidth is limited and I don’t handle the emotional chaos well. I have to keep my life really stable or my body struggles to manage the stress.click to expand
Huh... he doesn't need any of those skill sets with you.
Let me put it this way, with you, He doesn't have to be that way, watching out for shit like that to survive.
A part of his identity thats wants resolved because he now has space to and doesn't match his reality anymore.
hey remember that song " Video killed the radio star"?
People fought tooth and nail until they adapted to the new change. Adapted to TV.
All you got to do is continue to be TV, your vibe without you rejecting his, he is doing that himself, it will take time. Hold your energy while he is processing his energy and changing it over.
Does that make sense?
P.S. He is and will pick up on your energy. You got to be able to read people in order to survive the childhood he did. So don't deny how you are feeling just describe what it means for you and how you are handling it to him. That will keep the trauma from being reinforced, trust and safety is at the heart of his truama. Show him that.
That's why holding your vibe and convictions with him are important. As well as your own welbing and vibe🙂
I pray he comes out of this transition better for it and repurposes this part of him.
Posted by MyStarsShineThis is true I agree but when you are a water type Gemini I think they can be nurturing. I as a Gemini has drops of water here and there and I can be nurturing until I say enough is enough. I just got through doing this Gemini guy chart who used to work under me (he's retired now) because he has lots of kids. Small kids when in reality at his age he should have grown kids my age and older. Well anyway out of curiosity I ran his chart and he's an earthy Gemini. Only water he got is Pluto in cancer. The rest is all earth and fire. He was a busy man in bed who apparently started very late.Posted by Jumpin_JupiterPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by Jumpin_JupiterPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by Jumpin_JupiterPosted by MyStarsShine
I was more bored as a teen
Since being a mum, I’ve never felt bored even now he’s an adult and left home
There’s so much in life to do…..no
need to be bored, it’s just a state of mind.
It's sort of like the opposite of me. My teen years was fun and was never bored. Except for the bullying part where I was teased and bullied. But my life as a teen was still thrilling. Had girls and all. I'm a father and grandfather and right now my life is pretty dull. Being a father is only exciting when the baby arrive and after that it's no longer exciting. At least not for me. The work from there has only begun. I don't ever talk about this type stuff because, well, I feel like it's just not for men to talk about. That's a womanly thing to talk about their kids online.
I don’t know how anyone can be bored as a parent lol ~ children change everything
Well...you know the time will come where you'll wanna be alone. Kids and woman free. I thank God my kids are grown except for one. And not even that one live with me anymore. She wants to stay with her mom and that's completely fine by me. No going to court for child custody. I don't swing that way. But I'm still supporting her and still in her life. Lord knows if I were to have small kids right now living with me I'll blow up. Can't handle it no more. Done had my days of that.
I’ve met a few Gemini people who didn’t seem
keen on being a parent?
Actually you don't see many Gemini parents. I can't actually think off head many Gemini parents I know of in my personal real life besides me, my sister and this other Gemini lady I know. I think the real reason for Geminis not keen on being parents is because like Scorpio Geminis are after money. Their businessmen and women with careers.
I don’t think Gemini has a very nurturing energy where’s some water signs do. Air isn’t always emotionally engaging which you need to be when parenting.click to expand
Posted by CAPZPRIMEThey're the ones enjoying themselves tho and you're sitting around bored?
"video games so great, what a beautiful invention" shut yo ass
You find your passions and desires. You go do and learn about whatever those are.
Thats what I'm trying to do. Right now, I'm behind on financial and environmental stabilty. Cash flow is....ok. I work a lot. But missing that income translating to a stable life and environment for the freedom to do and be myself in.
Thats what I'm trying to do. Right now, I'm behind on financial and environmental stabilty. Cash flow is....ok. I work a lot. But missing that income translating to a stable life and environment for the freedom to do and be myself in.
Posted by LostthoughtsHe’s been through so much and is such a loving and giving person. I just keep trying to stay calm and stable through it until his nervous system can feel safe.Posted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by Lostthoughts
The process is:
Remembering
Which causes the emotions attached to them to be Reexperinced. Hopefully getting them out in a healthy way to drain some of the emotional power out of it to reprocess the experience. The anger shame sadness. A big part of trauma childhood truama is understanding it was never about you but the adult. Then the anger from that. Every emotions needs to be understood with onesself.
Then comes understanding and acceptance of what happened in the past. The memory remains but it's a lot lighter after that. Just another memory from the past. This is the natural process.
Usually if after all of that you feel something about it, then it relates to something import to you and then you take it as a learning experience of whst not to do or do differently yourself. With this Most tend to find ways in the world to stop it from happening to others or be there for other victims. Activism. Honestly reminds me of chiron in astrology.
Niw about you,
Well, you have a general idea what you need to do yourself to be emotionally stable. If he is upsetting you too it can cause a nasty feedback loop, reinforcing and feeding his own negative feelings with his past. So Your health is even more important now.
Thats what trauma is about, not the memories themselves but the emotions and feelings attached to them. It's why something will effect one person but do nothing to another.
It's ok not to be able to handle his state ALL the time. Give him space while letting him know you are still there and will be there. You yourself have to be stable.
Mind share what the trauma is and how he is acting out because of it?
Let summarize his childhood this way, his brother is brain damaged and lives at home due to the physical abuse from his father. He grew up in a very rough neighborhood and has held stab victims together when he was 10.
His last relationship ended when his wife had an affair.
So the man has endured a lot, which is why his nervous system is struggling atm. It’s trying to protect him so desperately and unfortunately it creates disruption in us. He feels anxiety about me leaving, or cheating. But it can be very intense at times. It’s not abusive, but it’s disruptive as my bandwidth is limited and I don’t handle the emotional chaos well. I have to keep my life really stable or my body struggles to manage the stress.
That's a lot of violence and struggling to survive.
Huh... he doesn't need any of those skill sets with you.
Let me put it this way, with you, He doesn't have to be that way, watching out for shit like that to survive.
A part of his identity thats wants resolved because he now has space to and doesn't match his reality anymore.
hey remember that song " Video killed the radio star"?
People fought tooth and nail until they adapted to the new change. Adapted to TV.
All you got to do is continue to be TV, your vibe without you rejecting his, he is doing that himself, it will take time. Hold your energy while he is processing his energy and changing it over.
Does that make sense?
P.S. He is and will pick up on your energy. You got to be able to read people in order to survive the childhood he did. So don't deny how you are feeling just describe what it means for you and how you are handling it to him. That will keep the trauma from being reinforced, trust and safety is at the heart of his truama. Show him that.
That's why holding your vibe and convictions with him are important. As well as your own welbing and vibe🙂
I pray he comes out of this transition better for it and repurposes this part of him.click to expand
Posted by xkachiWhich I told him. He felt he was ready when he met me, and his kids are doing amazing. But he’s still processing A LOT.Posted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by xkachiPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by xkachi
Dealing with trauma is a never ending process, if he's only dealing with it now in couples therapy and not as an individuals then he's not doing it for himself... So is it really working for him?
He and I both are in our own individual sessions and he’s been going for over a year, myself 6 years.
We are just proactively asking for couples as we both came from long term and toxic marriages.
How recent were the divorce?
That's good you're both attending individual counseling.
His was just under a year when he met me. Whereas I’ve been on my own for years.
I’m the first relationship since he was a teenager.
"His was just under a year when he met me"
I'm not an expert but maybe he needs more time?click to expand
Posted by MyStarsShineHe was a teen parent and married the baby mama in Mid 20’s.Posted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by xkachiPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by xkachi
Dealing with trauma is a never ending process, if he's only dealing with it now in couples therapy and not as an individuals then he's not doing it for himself... So is it really working for him?
He and I both are in our own individual sessions and he’s been going for over a year, myself 6 years.
We are just proactively asking for couples as we both came from long term and toxic marriages.
How recent were the divorce?
That's good you're both attending individual counseling.
click to expand
His was just under a year when he met me. Whereas I’ve been on my own for years.
I’m the first relationship since he was a teenager.
He was married in his teens?click to expand
Posted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by LostthoughtsPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by Lostthoughts
The process is:
Remembering
Which causes the emotions attached to them to be Reexperinced. Hopefully getting them out in a healthy way to drain some of the emotional power out of it to reprocess the experience. The anger shame sadness. A big part of trauma childhood truama is understanding it was never about you but the adult. Then the anger from that. Every emotions needs to be understood with onesself.
Then comes understanding and acceptance of what happened in the past. The memory remains but it's a lot lighter after that. Just another memory from the past. This is the natural process.
Usually if after all of that you feel something about it, then it relates to something import to you and then you take it as a learning experience of whst not to do or do differently yourself. With this Most tend to find ways in the world to stop it from happening to others or be there for other victims. Activism. Honestly reminds me of chiron in astrology.
Niw about you,
Well, you have a general idea what you need to do yourself to be emotionally stable. If he is upsetting you too it can cause a nasty feedback loop, reinforcing and feeding his own negative feelings with his past. So Your health is even more important now.
Thats what trauma is about, not the memories themselves but the emotions and feelings attached to them. It's why something will effect one person but do nothing to another.
It's ok not to be able to handle his state ALL the time. Give him space while letting him know you are still there and will be there. You yourself have to be stable.
Mind share what the trauma is and how he is acting out because of it?
Let summarize his childhood this way, his brother is brain damaged and lives at home due to the physical abuse from his father. He grew up in a very rough neighborhood and has held stab victims together when he was 10.
His last relationship ended when his wife had an affair.
So the man has endured a lot, which is why his nervous system is struggling atm. It’s trying to protect him so desperately and unfortunately it creates disruption in us. He feels anxiety about me leaving, or cheating. But it can be very intense at times. It’s not abusive, but it’s disruptive as my bandwidth is limited and I don’t handle the emotional chaos well. I have to keep my life really stable or my body struggles to manage the stress.
That's a lot of violence and struggling to survive.
Huh... he doesn't need any of those skill sets with you.
Let me put it this way, with you, He doesn't have to be that way, watching out for shit like that to survive.
A part of his identity thats wants resolved because he now has space to and doesn't match his reality anymore.
hey remember that song " Video killed the radio star"?
People fought tooth and nail until they adapted to the new change. Adapted to TV.
All you got to do is continue to be TV, your vibe without you rejecting his, he is doing that himself, it will take time. Hold your energy while he is processing his energy and changing it over.
Does that make sense?
P.S. He is and will pick up on your energy. You got to be able to read people in order to survive the childhood he did. So don't deny how you are feeling just describe what it means for you and how you are handling it to him. That will keep the trauma from being reinforced, trust and safety is at the heart of his truama. Show him that.
That's why holding your vibe and convictions with him are important. As well as your own welbing and vibe🙂
I pray he comes out of this transition better for it and repurposes this part of him.
He’s been through so much and is such a loving and giving person. I just keep trying to stay calm and stable through it until his nervous system can feel safe.click to expand
A sensitive guy🙂
Body mind spirit. He will get through the process and better for it.
As will you.
Posted by LostthoughtsMost men are sensitive, they just need to feel safe and loved enough to lean into it.Posted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by LostthoughtsPosted by Jade_AlexanderPosted by Lostthoughts
The process is:
Remembering
Which causes the emotions attached to them to be Reexperinced. Hopefully getting them out in a healthy way to drain some of the emotional power out of it to reprocess the experience. The anger shame sadness. A big part of trauma childhood truama is understanding it was never about you but the adult. Then the anger from that. Every emotions needs to be understood with onesself.
Then comes understanding and acceptance of what happened in the past. The memory remains but it's a lot lighter after that. Just another memory from the past. This is the natural process.
Usually if after all of that you feel something about it, then it relates to something import to you and then you take it as a learning experience of whst not to do or do differently yourself. With this Most tend to find ways in the world to stop it from happening to others or be there for other victims. Activism. Honestly reminds me of chiron in astrology.
Niw about you,
Well, you have a general idea what you need to do yourself to be emotionally stable. If he is upsetting you too it can cause a nasty feedback loop, reinforcing and feeding his own negative feelings with his past. So Your health is even more important now.
Thats what trauma is about, not the memories themselves but the emotions and feelings attached to them. It's why something will effect one person but do nothing to another.
It's ok not to be able to handle his state ALL the time. Give him space while letting him know you are still there and will be there. You yourself have to be stable.
Mind share what the trauma is and how he is acting out because of it?
Let summarize his childhood this way, his brother is brain damaged and lives at home due to the physical abuse from his father. He grew up in a very rough neighborhood and has held stab victims together when he was 10.
His last relationship ended when his wife had an affair.
So the man has endured a lot, which is why his nervous system is struggling atm. It’s trying to protect him so desperately and unfortunately it creates disruption in us. He feels anxiety about me leaving, or cheating. But it can be very intense at times. It’s not abusive, but it’s disruptive as my bandwidth is limited and I don’t handle the emotional chaos well. I have to keep my life really stable or my body struggles to manage the stress.
That's a lot of violence and struggling to survive.
Huh... he doesn't need any of those skill sets with you.
Let me put it this way, with you, He doesn't have to be that way, watching out for shit like that to survive.
A part of his identity thats wants resolved because he now has space to and doesn't match his reality anymore.
hey remember that song " Video killed the radio star"?
People fought tooth and nail until they adapted to the new change. Adapted to TV.
All you got to do is continue to be TV, your vibe without you rejecting his, he is doing that himself, it will take time. Hold your energy while he is processing his energy and changing it over.
Does that make sense?
P.S. He is and will pick up on your energy. You got to be able to read people in order to survive the childhood he did. So don't deny how you are feeling just describe what it means for you and how you are handling it to him. That will keep the trauma from being reinforced, trust and safety is at the heart of his truama. Show him that.
That's why holding your vibe and convictions with him are important. As well as your own welbing and vibe🙂
I pray he comes out of this transition better for it and repurposes this part of him.
He’s been through so much and is such a loving and giving person. I just keep trying to stay calm and stable through it until his nervous system can feel safe.
A sensitive guy🙂
Body mind spirit. He will get through the process and better for it.
As will you.click to expand
How does one get bored!? I mean really.... there's sooo much to do in life!