So I met a girl...
Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
Go against your nature of talking the talk way too much and trying to see the sides of everything before doing anything (Mars in Gem, moon in Libra) and take action, be a man.
I agree, if you want that, go get it!!!
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Posted by complicatedpisces
I have known him for a year but we both were seeing other people. We both were single at the sametime and agreed we'd always felt an attraction so we went for it. I do admit being friends and being together is totally different. I want the baby because i really do love him. I don't doubt that he loves me too. I also know that love is not eough to make a relationship last. So now im torn because of how he responded, and if i can stay with him when he acted so mean about me being pregnant but when we were treetrunking i didnt hear any protests. im grown i knew what the chances were and so did he.
I think it's time to start thinking about yourself and the baby, he's flaking out so you can't depend on him, so if you choose to have this baby you have to prepare yourself to raise this baby alone, anything he does will be a bonus but you can't depend on him or anyone else to help you, be there for you, he said he doesn't want a baby I think it would be in your best interest to believe him. So now you have to decide if you are really prepared to do this alone, not impossible but unless you have your degree and some money saved up your decision is going to be a hard one to live with, many women choose to be single and have babies so you can do it but you really have to force yourself to get your head out of the clouds and be realistic. I can understand why others say he's a virgo be patient but that baby isn't going to wait on anyone so now you have to decide to do this alone and hope he decides to at least participate beyond paying child support. He's avoiding you, not a good sign but until then give him some space, stop calling and reaching out to him, if you push it will only make matters worse, let him decide to come to you and let him decide to stay on his own.
i call da cheetz
CapGal,
Okay, so you're saying you interperet it as she feels she is an uncommitted relationship and her effort and emotional attachment are no longer worth the effort. I understand. With this being said, if the guy truly wanted to be committed and be with you would you expect him to call you? Within what timeframe? Should he respect your space and let you call him, because you said you would call in 3 weeks? I really do want her in my life, and I want to prove to her that I am completely committed to her. How could I guy reassure of this, in your eyes? Thanks.
Okay, so you're saying you interperet it as she feels she is an uncommitted relationship and her effort and emotional attachment are no longer worth the effort. I understand. With this being said, if the guy truly wanted to be committed and be with you would you expect him to call you? Within what timeframe? Should he respect your space and let you call him, because you said you would call in 3 weeks? I really do want her in my life, and I want to prove to her that I am completely committed to her. How could I guy reassure of this, in your eyes? Thanks.
Posted by USCTaurusGal
Agreed Trifles! I've surveyed all my guy friends about the "disappearing act / not calling.They all said they didn't want to look like the "bad guy" plus if they ever were lonely (I.e.desperate) they could get these women back by making up some sort of b.s. story. They basically didn't want to tell the women they weren't feeling them, so they could always have the potential fall back. *smh*
There are some things that call for communication and clarification, but this disappearing act, non-responsiveness... basic failure in comms points to disinterest and is clear enough communication to me. Anyone would try to make it happen if they really wanted it to happen... men and women. So I just DONT understand why women have to wonder so much when a guy is that distant. And a few guys have done that to me... 'disappeared' because they werent that interested... THEN tried to come back at me months later all flirty and shit. HA! Makes me laugh. Sorry! No love
Any man that comes off confused about what he wants isn't man enough for me.
pursuing vs not pursuing.
Posted by pinkberry1122
But Im pretty sure she wouldnt swim away over this. She may get realllllly upset and hurt from what u did but its not going to make her run unless she wasnt too attached. And we're verrrrrry forgiving so Im sure she would have forgiven u pretty fast.
I'm feeling a pressing need to respond to this, so forgive me for singling you out pinkberry, especially if I make you feel bad for what I'm about to say.
BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!! BULLLLLLSHIIIIITTTT!!
I'm BEYOND "pretty sure" that his lil Pisces girl WILL swim away over shit like this. I am 110% POSITIVE she will.. and it has NOTHING to do with how "attached" she is or isn't. It's about INVADING OUR PRIVACY, something we greatly value! YES, we are forgiving - that's definitely Pisces nature. BUT.. some things we simply cannot KEEP forgiving. Mozart here has said he KEEPS doing this, that she KEEPS getting mad, upset, crying, telling him NOT to do this anymore! THAT is the "forgiving" and "patient" part of a Pisces! But if he KEEPS doing this, despite her telling him over and over NOT to... she WILL feel disrespected, insulted, hurt beyond words, distrusted, angry... and Pisces can take A LOT.. but when enough is enough - IT'S ENOUGH!
Mozart... she's telling you what she wants, needs, expects from you. You HAVE to respect her privacy or you will LOSE her! Yes, she may be "flattered" that you WANT to see inside her, but feeling flattered does not automatically translate to us letting you in. That comes with TIME, and every single time you poke around in her stuff, you are setting her back to Square One... and it will be longer before she DOES let you in!
crazy_lost_cappy:
Good point, and I agree. At the same time I don't want to come across as a desperate, obsessed, weak man in her eyes. What is the optimal way to balance this? Wait 3 weeks for her to call and possibly give the impression that I am perfectly fine without her? Call 2 days later and come across as someone who doesn't understand that I really do need to change certain things in my life if I want her in it? Very thin line to balance in my point of view, no?
Good point, and I agree. At the same time I don't want to come across as a desperate, obsessed, weak man in her eyes. What is the optimal way to balance this? Wait 3 weeks for her to call and possibly give the impression that I am perfectly fine without her? Call 2 days later and come across as someone who doesn't understand that I really do need to change certain things in my life if I want her in it? Very thin line to balance in my point of view, no?
I didn't really want to mention the realities of the situation, because although I feel I am now on the outside looking in, I still find myself in denial that any of the abuse was real. By the time I left, I was hollow and believed I was everything he said I was (and wasn't). The reason I was so scared, aside from the obvious, was because I was terrified of losing myself again.
His parents aren't separated. In fact, they've been married for over 30 years. His father treats his mother with little respect, though, and after seeing all that, I realize where he gets SOME of the behaviors from. I know he feels terribly for what he's done, and I know he loves me. I think he's one of those who never really wanted to hurt me, but did anyway, and for reasons unknown to me. He is, deep down, a very passionate person in every sense, and I think maybe that is the problem.. if a person feels love with such an unyielding passion, what's to stop them from feeling hate or anger in the same way? How much of him begging for me back was because he loved me, and how much was because he felt he lost control?
The damage IS done, I just wasn't sure if it was irreparable, and I still don't, but as with everything in this situation, there is a double meaning or standard and I am left lost and confused. I wouldn't wish any of these feelings and experiences on our child, and if she were in this situation, I'd do the same thing my mother did..help her get out of it, and help her STAY out of it.
Sufficed to say, I think the biggest part of me is saying to stay away and to move on. I feel like I need to release myself from this man, and be an individual again. The hardest part is leaving with the knowledge that I spent so much of my life, a lot of it during a period where people learn and grow so much, with someone and now I have to let it go. All I can do is hope that he treats this other woman better. If not, I can only pray she leaves before I did.
His parents aren't separated. In fact, they've been married for over 30 years. His father treats his mother with little respect, though, and after seeing all that, I realize where he gets SOME of the behaviors from. I know he feels terribly for what he's done, and I know he loves me. I think he's one of those who never really wanted to hurt me, but did anyway, and for reasons unknown to me. He is, deep down, a very passionate person in every sense, and I think maybe that is the problem.. if a person feels love with such an unyielding passion, what's to stop them from feeling hate or anger in the same way? How much of him begging for me back was because he loved me, and how much was because he felt he lost control?
The damage IS done, I just wasn't sure if it was irreparable, and I still don't, but as with everything in this situation, there is a double meaning or standard and I am left lost and confused. I wouldn't wish any of these feelings and experiences on our child, and if she were in this situation, I'd do the same thing my mother did..help her get out of it, and help her STAY out of it.
Sufficed to say, I think the biggest part of me is saying to stay away and to move on. I feel like I need to release myself from this man, and be an individual again. The hardest part is leaving with the knowledge that I spent so much of my life, a lot of it during a period where people learn and grow so much, with someone and now I have to let it go. All I can do is hope that he treats this other woman better. If not, I can only pray she leaves before I did.
UGH "...keeping our partners at bay, and WANTING more."
you bulls are professionals at this!!!! Drives me insane. i realize this is what keeps me so focused on him. most know its challenging to keep a gemini focused on anything for too long. But my bull has managed to keep me DEAD focused on him. They make the strongest most stubborn minds conform to their seductive ways. I fight it, i love the challenge, but (i dont tell him this) is of no use. i lose evey time. he keeps enough so im still always guessing. this routine they say about you guys so doesn't apply in the bed room boom. and even if he did, i could handle THAT kinda routine!!
he kills me, i LOVE LOVE LOVE kisses. and he knows how addicted to his i am. SO he rations them out!!!!!! WTH??? now, i get pecks ALL the time but true passionate kisses he saves and that drives me insane. I want them and i want them NOW! haha
you bulls are professionals at this!!!! Drives me insane. i realize this is what keeps me so focused on him. most know its challenging to keep a gemini focused on anything for too long. But my bull has managed to keep me DEAD focused on him. They make the strongest most stubborn minds conform to their seductive ways. I fight it, i love the challenge, but (i dont tell him this) is of no use. i lose evey time. he keeps enough so im still always guessing. this routine they say about you guys so doesn't apply in the bed room boom.
and even if he did, i could handle THAT kinda routine!! he kills me, i LOVE LOVE LOVE kisses. and he knows how addicted to his i am. SO he rations them out!!!!!! WTH??? now, i get pecks ALL the time but true passionate kisses he saves and that drives me insane. I want them and i want them NOW! haha
I hear ya Creepypants , but you would be surprised how many women will go back over and over again to "lukewarm" men! I want him hot for me, none of this bs hot & cold. Recent example - met this guy. He asked me out to dinner. Called me once and said he would connect to set a date & time. I didn't hear from him for 2 weeks. He left me a msg saying he lost his phone, but refound it. He could be telling the truth, but I deleted his msg & #. I have no time for games. Period.