Shouting In Silence
Intensity, passion, kindness....just a little of what I see when you write, you have a lot to give
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Oh wow, then why are you asking IS she's lying? Shes OBVIOUSLY lyning. lol I agree with epitet. Dont leave her any wiggle room if she does it again.
Ok everyone...any time I need to get some advice on something astrology related, I always read the posts here. So, now that I have my own personal predicament, I decided it was time to post my own story.
I went out on my birthday this year (may 30) and met this girl. She was a waitress at the club I went to. I'm 24 years old and have never been in love, but when I saw her...man, I just knew she was going to be in my life in some way. So, I get her number, and we flirt the rest of the night. That Sunday, she came to my birthday party and met my family. Everyone adored her. She is one of the most real people I've ever met. No bull. I just knew she was honest. I'm a Gemini so I can tell most things about people before they even tell me. Anyway, we had a great time. We had a lot of deep conversations about relationships etc. I found out later that she talked to my sister about me...what type of person I was...how many relationships and how long etc. Well a few days later, she text me saying she really didn't have time and she didn't want a relationship. Apparently, she was talking to another girl as well and was going to tell her the same thing when she got off the phone with me. I handled it well. I had no reason to be upset. We weren't dating. We weren't committed. So, I simply said I'd still like to be friends, and I'd be wrong not to understand her point of view. Needless to say, the other girl didn't take it as well as I did. I talked to her about it the next day, and she said she really appreciated me being so understanding, and at the very least, she knew she'd made an awesome friend. We continued to talk, but it was like she was contradicting herself. She just said she didn't want anything, but she kept flirting. So, you know, I'm a Gemini - I just go with the flow. So, I invited her the next Sunday to come back to my house for a cookout and to go swimming. Well, she brought her daughter. She didn't tell me she was bringing her, and I certainly didn't mind. But, I'm not good with children, so I didn't do a very good job. Some of the things I did were quite comical, but I'm not going to expound. Overall, it was a fun day...with many interesting, funny "mess ups" on my part. She gave me a hug (which incidently, she gives the most amazing hugs), her daughter gave me a hug and said, "lu uuuuu" and she was impressed, and she left.
Still after that, she was pretty adament that she didn't want anything.
I went out on my birthday this year (may 30) and met this girl. She was a waitress at the club I went to. I'm 24 years old and have never been in love, but when I saw her...man, I just knew she was going to be in my life in some way. So, I get her number, and we flirt the rest of the night. That Sunday, she came to my birthday party and met my family. Everyone adored her. She is one of the most real people I've ever met. No bull. I just knew she was honest. I'm a Gemini so I can tell most things about people before they even tell me. Anyway, we had a great time. We had a lot of deep conversations about relationships etc. I found out later that she talked to my sister about me...what type of person I was...how many relationships and how long etc. Well a few days later, she text me saying she really didn't have time and she didn't want a relationship. Apparently, she was talking to another girl as well and was going to tell her the same thing when she got off the phone with me. I handled it well. I had no reason to be upset. We weren't dating. We weren't committed. So, I simply said I'd still like to be friends, and I'd be wrong not to understand her point of view. Needless to say, the other girl didn't take it as well as I did. I talked to her about it the next day, and she said she really appreciated me being so understanding, and at the very least, she knew she'd made an awesome friend. We continued to talk, but it was like she was contradicting herself. She just said she didn't want anything, but she kept flirting. So, you know, I'm a Gemini - I just go with the flow. So, I invited her the next Sunday to come back to my house for a cookout and to go swimming. Well, she brought her daughter. She didn't tell me she was bringing her, and I certainly didn't mind. But, I'm not good with children, so I didn't do a very good job. Some of the things I did were quite comical, but I'm not going to expound. Overall, it was a fun day...with many interesting, funny "mess ups" on my part. She gave me a hug (which incidently, she gives the most amazing hugs), her daughter gave me a hug and said, "lu uuuuu" and she was impressed, and she left.
Still after that, she was pretty adament that she didn't want anything.
(part 2)
I was just waiting it out...trying to prove to her I was different. I'm not your typical Gemini. I'm honest, loyal, and loving. I want commitment (even though it terrifies me). I knew from the moment I met her that she was an honest soul, but that she had been hurt. She'd listened to the lies said about her and started to believe they were true. I've always said that if I was the stepping stone to helping her realize she's amazing, that would be fine - even if I got my heart broke.
So, about a week went by, and I needed to see her. So, I got the group together and we went to the club where she worked. That morning I'd been introduced to a lesbian. So, I invited her and her girlfriend to come. Well, she ended up showing up without her girlfriend. This girl flung herself at me...to say the least. All my friends were like talk to this new girl...the other is just stringing you along. Well, the Cancer was jealous to say the least but she said things like, "What? Do you feel like you're cheating on me or something?" or "go ahead...might as well get a few drinks out of it." Well, I was trashed, and the other girl (Aquarius) grabbed my face and started making out with me right as Cancer walked by. I felt horrible. A few minutes went by and I couldn't see Cancer anymore. So, I walked outside with Aquarius, and I saw Cancer sitting in her car. I left Aquarius (who was furious) and went to talk to Cancer. I asked what was wrong, and she just said that she was quitting because she didn't make enough. Still to this day I think it was because of what happened. Anyway, I was talking to her and I told her "You're killing me...do you know that?" and to that she said "No, I'm saving you. Don't fall for me. I'll only hurt you." and she left.
Later that night, I was wasted and she was wasted. She sent me a lot of crazy texts...basically she said, "I should have just kissed you. I really like you. But I don't want to hurt you. If it was anyone else, I wouldn't care, but you're different."
So that was that. I didn't see her for a few weeks. The texts we sent in that gap were very sexual...very flirty. I told her I was sprung and the day after she asked me if I meant it. She ended up having some financial troubles, and she let me help her. So, I had to go meet her after work. We talked for about an hour in the car and she told me she'd told her cousin what I said, and her cousin saw that she was sprung too. It was overall
I was just waiting it out...trying to prove to her I was different. I'm not your typical Gemini. I'm honest, loyal, and loving. I want commitment (even though it terrifies me). I knew from the moment I met her that she was an honest soul, but that she had been hurt. She'd listened to the lies said about her and started to believe they were true. I've always said that if I was the stepping stone to helping her realize she's amazing, that would be fine - even if I got my heart broke.
So, about a week went by, and I needed to see her. So, I got the group together and we went to the club where she worked. That morning I'd been introduced to a lesbian. So, I invited her and her girlfriend to come. Well, she ended up showing up without her girlfriend. This girl flung herself at me...to say the least. All my friends were like talk to this new girl...the other is just stringing you along. Well, the Cancer was jealous to say the least but she said things like, "What? Do you feel like you're cheating on me or something?" or "go ahead...might as well get a few drinks out of it." Well, I was trashed, and the other girl (Aquarius) grabbed my face and started making out with me right as Cancer walked by. I felt horrible. A few minutes went by and I couldn't see Cancer anymore. So, I walked outside with Aquarius, and I saw Cancer sitting in her car. I left Aquarius (who was furious) and went to talk to Cancer. I asked what was wrong, and she just said that she was quitting because she didn't make enough. Still to this day I think it was because of what happened. Anyway, I was talking to her and I told her "You're killing me...do you know that?" and to that she said "No, I'm saving you. Don't fall for me. I'll only hurt you." and she left.
Later that night, I was wasted and she was wasted. She sent me a lot of crazy texts...basically she said, "I should have just kissed you. I really like you. But I don't want to hurt you. If it was anyone else, I wouldn't care, but you're different."
So that was that. I didn't see her for a few weeks. The texts we sent in that gap were very sexual...very flirty. I told her I was sprung and the day after she asked me if I meant it. She ended up having some financial troubles, and she let me help her. So, I had to go meet her after work. We talked for about an hour in the car and she told me she'd told her cousin what I said, and her cousin saw that she was sprung too. It was overall
(part 3)
a good conversation, and I left very hopeful. she opened up to feelings she didn't want and this is the first point where she began pushing me away - - Backtrack...I forgot something. Before I helped her with money, we had gone out to a club together. Very flirty...she was telling people she was with "her girl" and my sister and her boyfriend even thought something was up. Anyway, she totally kissed me...multiple times...but kept saying, "too much...I don't want you to get attached." we had many very good convos but she always went back to..don't fall for me...i'll only hurt you. The next morning we talked for like 3 hours and she asked me questions like "can you be in an open relationship, and...people have said i'm a player...would that be a problem?"
Ok so back on track - after I helped her financially - she went on vacation. We talked for the first few days...she bought me a gift just because. But then I was drunk, and I was texting a little provactively...nothing we hadn't done before. And she got a little upset. She told me not to text like that until I was sober - that she like being talked to like that but not if i was drunk. So, i was like okay. She didn't text very much after that. I then went on vacation, and everything was fine, but then she dropped off the face of the earth for like a week. At this point, I was like alright. After multiple messages, I was not going to put myself out there like that anymore. So, I sent her a polite but firm text saying I wasn't going to put myself out there like that anymore...if she didn't want to see me, she should tell me...and she knew where i lived if she wanted to talk. A few days went by, and i felt bad, so I sent her another text basically calling her bluff. I told her what i'd wanted to say for so long, but i thought she wasn't ready to hear. I hadn't wanted to push her. But i told her she was better than what people had said. she was a great person who had just been hurt. basically i told her that in order to be happy, she was going to have to start believing in herself. The next day, she finally responded saying she had had a lot on her plate, and just didn't want to talk to anyone. But she thanked me for saying what I did and that not too many people would have said it.
We picked up where we'd left off.
A few weeks later, I met up with her for pedicures. She gave me the gift she'd gotten for me on vacation. We went to eat, and we talked
a good conversation, and I left very hopeful. she opened up to feelings she didn't want and this is the first point where she began pushing me away - - Backtrack...I forgot something. Before I helped her with money, we had gone out to a club together. Very flirty...she was telling people she was with "her girl" and my sister and her boyfriend even thought something was up. Anyway, she totally kissed me...multiple times...but kept saying, "too much...I don't want you to get attached." we had many very good convos but she always went back to..don't fall for me...i'll only hurt you. The next morning we talked for like 3 hours and she asked me questions like "can you be in an open relationship, and...people have said i'm a player...would that be a problem?"
Ok so back on track - after I helped her financially - she went on vacation. We talked for the first few days...she bought me a gift just because. But then I was drunk, and I was texting a little provactively...nothing we hadn't done before. And she got a little upset. She told me not to text like that until I was sober - that she like being talked to like that but not if i was drunk. So, i was like okay. She didn't text very much after that. I then went on vacation, and everything was fine, but then she dropped off the face of the earth for like a week. At this point, I was like alright. After multiple messages, I was not going to put myself out there like that anymore. So, I sent her a polite but firm text saying I wasn't going to put myself out there like that anymore...if she didn't want to see me, she should tell me...and she knew where i lived if she wanted to talk. A few days went by, and i felt bad, so I sent her another text basically calling her bluff. I told her what i'd wanted to say for so long, but i thought she wasn't ready to hear. I hadn't wanted to push her. But i told her she was better than what people had said. she was a great person who had just been hurt. basically i told her that in order to be happy, she was going to have to start believing in herself. The next day, she finally responded saying she had had a lot on her plate, and just didn't want to talk to anyone. But she thanked me for saying what I did and that not too many people would have said it.
We picked up where we'd left off.
A few weeks later, I met up with her for pedicures. She gave me the gift she'd gotten for me on vacation. We went to eat, and we talked
part 4)
about what had happened over the past few weeks. She seemed to be upset that I'd gone to those lengths, but i told her to put herself in my shoes, and she said, "i would have shown up at your door if you ignored my texts."
So, after that she got distant again, but I was learning to give her space. I just hated not understanding why she needed space. I hadn't done anything wrong I didn't think. Well, I tried out for American Idol this year in Pittsburgh. The whole first few days, she was very distant. The day of the audition, she was fine. I ended up not making it, and she called and helped me through. It was a really good bonding experience.
Still, she was pretty adament she didn't want anything, but kept up the flirting etc. I met some girls at AI and they became really good friends. One of the girls introduced me to her sister, who was a lesbian. Cancer knew I was getting to know this girl...all she said was "You deserve to be happy. You've put up with my shi* long enough." But she got way more flirty...called all the time...agreed to think about going on a date with me and being in an open relationship (which i wouldn't do on my part, but i was okay with that if it meant i could be with her). Anyway, the other girl and I ended up having an insane connection. It hurt really bad, but somehow I knew Cancer wouldnt turn into anything, so I told her I was going to pursue this other girl. She was fine she said. But she persisted with the very sexual texting - to the point that i had to tell her I couldn't talk like that anymore.
Well, a week went by and the other girl went back to her ex. Now, Cancer and I were still friends, so I told her about it. When I did, she said she couldn't talk because she was in the shower with another girl. I obviously got insanely jealous, and i thought for a brief moment that no one would text another girl while they were in the shower with another girl, but cancer had never lied to me, so i believed her. The next day, I texted her about it, and she said she'd had sex with her - a few times - and I'd fuc* her too. At this point, she knew I was jealous, but i was trying to be cool about it. She had said the night before that she didnt have sex with her, so the next day i was like wtf? And she said she didn't know what to say the night before. Anway, I asked if she was going to see this other girl again, and she said "I don't know. we haven't talked about it." to that I said, "Oh
about what had happened over the past few weeks. She seemed to be upset that I'd gone to those lengths, but i told her to put herself in my shoes, and she said, "i would have shown up at your door if you ignored my texts."
So, after that she got distant again, but I was learning to give her space. I just hated not understanding why she needed space. I hadn't done anything wrong I didn't think. Well, I tried out for American Idol this year in Pittsburgh. The whole first few days, she was very distant. The day of the audition, she was fine. I ended up not making it, and she called and helped me through. It was a really good bonding experience.
Still, she was pretty adament she didn't want anything, but kept up the flirting etc. I met some girls at AI and they became really good friends. One of the girls introduced me to her sister, who was a lesbian. Cancer knew I was getting to know this girl...all she said was "You deserve to be happy. You've put up with my shi* long enough." But she got way more flirty...called all the time...agreed to think about going on a date with me and being in an open relationship (which i wouldn't do on my part, but i was okay with that if it meant i could be with her). Anyway, the other girl and I ended up having an insane connection. It hurt really bad, but somehow I knew Cancer wouldnt turn into anything, so I told her I was going to pursue this other girl. She was fine she said. But she persisted with the very sexual texting - to the point that i had to tell her I couldn't talk like that anymore.
Well, a week went by and the other girl went back to her ex. Now, Cancer and I were still friends, so I told her about it. When I did, she said she couldn't talk because she was in the shower with another girl. I obviously got insanely jealous, and i thought for a brief moment that no one would text another girl while they were in the shower with another girl, but cancer had never lied to me, so i believed her. The next day, I texted her about it, and she said she'd had sex with her - a few times - and I'd fuc* her too. At this point, she knew I was jealous, but i was trying to be cool about it. She had said the night before that she didnt have sex with her, so the next day i was like wtf? And she said she didn't know what to say the night before. Anway, I asked if she was going to see this other girl again, and she said "I don't know. we haven't talked about it." to that I said, "Oh
(part 5)
so it wasn't that you didn't want a relationship...it was just that you didn't want one with me?" to that she said, "why do you always jump to conclusions?" and i said, "why do you never say what you feel/mean?" well she basically said after that that is was BS and that from day 1 she felt like i was just pushing her and that people always try to force their way into her life, and it should just happen naturally. I just told her i was sorry she felt that way. I didn't text back for like a month.
We have this thing we do...out of the blue, i'll text "Marco?" and she'll text back "HOMO!" So, i sent a simple text saying marco! and she replied back "BIG HUGE SMILE ON MY FACE...HOMO!" we started talking again and she said to forget what happened...that she was just glad i texted and that she'd really missed me. Which doesn't mean much to most - but she NEVER admits how she feels, so it meant a lot to me.
We got together a week later for the weekend. she came to hear me perform - i played the song i wrote for her as a surprise - later she'd said she'd known it was her song from the first lyric. Later that night, we drank and danced and played games. She kissed me again - longer than she'd allowed herself to before. Got much more physical if you know what i mean - but said the same thing.."I can't...I don't want to hurt you." At this point, that was getting old, but I was like whatever. Anyway, we ended up going to the back room and I gave her a massage. Well, she ended up passing out completely...like I couldn't wake her up at all. So, i just laid down with her. A few minutes into it, and i heard these strange noises...like she was spitting up. Well, she was getting sick in her sleep. So, I turned on the lights, and it was like seriously constricting her airways. So, i got my sisters boyfriend, and he helped me get her under the covers, and I cleaned her up. I ended up staying up all night making sure she was okay and cleaning her up when she got sick. Something happened in that moment. I was seriously scared because i couldn't wake her up, and i realized in that moment that i loved her...24 years of waiting and this gemini was in love. I knew it because all of a sudden, i had to think about something bad happening...and i didn't know what i'd do if anything happened to her. suddenly, i couldn't remember life before and i couldn't bare to picture life without her in it. i couldn't tell her though.
so it wasn't that you didn't want a relationship...it was just that you didn't want one with me?" to that she said, "why do you always jump to conclusions?" and i said, "why do you never say what you feel/mean?" well she basically said after that that is was BS and that from day 1 she felt like i was just pushing her and that people always try to force their way into her life, and it should just happen naturally. I just told her i was sorry she felt that way. I didn't text back for like a month.
We have this thing we do...out of the blue, i'll text "Marco?" and she'll text back "HOMO!" So, i sent a simple text saying marco! and she replied back "BIG HUGE SMILE ON MY FACE...HOMO!" we started talking again and she said to forget what happened...that she was just glad i texted and that she'd really missed me. Which doesn't mean much to most - but she NEVER admits how she feels, so it meant a lot to me.
We got together a week later for the weekend. she came to hear me perform - i played the song i wrote for her as a surprise - later she'd said she'd known it was her song from the first lyric. Later that night, we drank and danced and played games. She kissed me again - longer than she'd allowed herself to before. Got much more physical if you know what i mean - but said the same thing.."I can't...I don't want to hurt you." At this point, that was getting old, but I was like whatever. Anyway, we ended up going to the back room and I gave her a massage. Well, she ended up passing out completely...like I couldn't wake her up at all. So, i just laid down with her. A few minutes into it, and i heard these strange noises...like she was spitting up. Well, she was getting sick in her sleep. So, I turned on the lights, and it was like seriously constricting her airways. So, i got my sisters boyfriend, and he helped me get her under the covers, and I cleaned her up. I ended up staying up all night making sure she was okay and cleaning her up when she got sick. Something happened in that moment. I was seriously scared because i couldn't wake her up, and i realized in that moment that i loved her...24 years of waiting and this gemini was in love. I knew it because all of a sudden, i had to think about something bad happening...and i didn't know what i'd do if anything happened to her. suddenly, i couldn't remember life before and i couldn't bare to picture life without her in it. i couldn't tell her though.