Pls help me - Male Cancer disappearing act

Thank you. This blowing off led me to be 95% fed-up... I know that I would take him back, but I cannot stand to have that happen again.. that I have to draw the line and walk if he did that again.
I've been torn b/c from what I've read and what others have said, this can be typical Cancerian behaviour... and that I need to be patient and give him space etc. I 'get' the whole giving space thing, but I do not get being stood up.. I find it disrespectful. When I brought it up before he didn't seem to understand why I'd be so upset.
We're both in our 30s. He was never into marriage before, whereas I made it clear from the beginning that I am into marriage. Even though he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, for me, it's not real until we see each other in-person, discuss it, there's a ring and a date. We did say we'd have to see each other in-person and discuss this.
I appreciate the question: "Why isn't he wracking his brains, scared out of his mind (like you are) that you'll hate him for cancelling so many times?" ... because that's what I have wondered as well. My question has been: "if it is that not following through on phone-calls, if it is that disappearing is typical Cancerian behaviour, then how could you do that if you love the other person?? Wouldn't you be worried that they'd leave you?".
So there you go I guess.
Thanks.