Should I just move on? Gemini w/2 kids by Virgo
Next week it will be a month of him not living here.
I'm concerned he's getting comfortable in his new environment.
And his staying with his family, who are enabling him.
He's in his late 30's. He's not put in 1 job application since he's been gone.
Not that he has to. He's being treated there like he's 15.
His family just bought him new clothes and got his hair cut.
On top of this, I'm sure his girl"friends" are enabling him too.
All this can cloud his judgement. I already know he's dazed by a new iphone he got.
I can't compete on that level nor do I want to, nor should I have to.
Actually, on that topic- I often wonder what I have to offer him in this relationship since I am compared to the combined effort and resources of a dozen people- minus the strings.
However, to digress... how LONG from coming home is "too long" to wait before I should just "get the hint" that he's not coming back?
He wants to move out of state. I think this may help him control his behavior, at least initially since access to the exes is impossible. But what would keep him from simply making NEW relationships in this new place. Last thing I want is to leave my home area to a new state and be played there, to be stuck in nowhereville... Still, it's worth getting closer to risk it. But, we can't financially make it happen fast enough apparently.
He's very "instant gratification"...
Do you think marriage might change his mindset some? Or will I just be married to the drama?
I understad love vs. in love. I don't know where he and I are. Sometimes it's like love. Sometimes he's all super duh and lusty. Then it's goes back and forth. Blech. Wish I knew... if I ask, he acts insulted. Hmph.
The novelties, I think he used them with someone else and that's why they were opened. I'm not in the least bit threatened by anything sexual. In fact, I often have to approach it carefully because I know he's a freak but I don't want him to judge me as lacking dignity. But I'll be frank with you, I'm a freak. He knows this. So no reason to hide the stuff unless it was "evidence."
You may have something when you say, "He blames yu because its his way of not coming to turns with the fact that he's done
something wrong. Guilt is a hard pill for us to swallow so try not to take it personally."
Still, he did many things wrong. If I did that to him, he'd probably kill himself.
How much room is TOO Much ROOM?
I'm concerned he's getting comfortable in his new environment.
And his staying with his family, who are enabling him.
He's in his late 30's. He's not put in 1 job application since he's been gone.
Not that he has to. He's being treated there like he's 15.
His family just bought him new clothes and got his hair cut.
On top of this, I'm sure his girl"friends" are enabling him too.
All this can cloud his judgement. I already know he's dazed by a new iphone he got.
I can't compete on that level nor do I want to, nor should I have to.
Actually, on that topic- I often wonder what I have to offer him in this relationship since I am compared to the combined effort and resources of a dozen people- minus the strings.
However, to digress... how LONG from coming home is "too long" to wait before I should just "get the hint" that he's not coming back?
He wants to move out of state. I think this may help him control his behavior, at least initially since access to the exes is impossible. But what would keep him from simply making NEW relationships in this new place. Last thing I want is to leave my home area to a new state and be played there, to be stuck in nowhereville... Still, it's worth getting closer to risk it. But, we can't financially make it happen fast enough apparently.
He's very "instant gratification"...
Do you think marriage might change his mindset some? Or will I just be married to the drama?
I understad love vs. in love. I don't know where he and I are. Sometimes it's like love. Sometimes he's all super duh and lusty. Then it's goes back and forth. Blech. Wish I knew... if I ask, he acts insulted. Hmph.
The novelties, I think he used them with someone else and that's why they were opened. I'm not in the least bit threatened by anything sexual. In fact, I often have to approach it carefully because I know he's a freak but I don't want him to judge me as lacking dignity. But I'll be frank with you, I'm a freak. He knows this. So no reason to hide the stuff unless it was "evidence."
You may have something when you say, "He blames yu because its his way of not coming to turns with the fact that he's done
something wrong. Guilt is a hard pill for us to swallow so try not to take it personally."
Still, he did many things wrong. If I did that to him, he'd probably kill himself.
How much room is TOO Much ROOM?