How do I play it???
You know what?
Maybe after talking to you he thought about the conversation and freaked out a little because he bared his soul. When you called back to tell him when you could go to see him, he probably reacted strange because he felt as if he told you "too much" in the previous conversation and placed the ball back in your court by doing so.
Now the "control" shifted to you.
My Cancer is a control freak. He absolutely HAS to have the upper hand in every situation. This ranges from where we will go to dinner to which type of room deodorizer to use.
You see, they have to THINK that they are in control. Learn his ways a little better and you will know how to deal with him in such a manner that he THINKS he's in control but in reality, you have a role in decisions as well.
NO, it's not being sneaky. It's called keeping the peace. You are not harming him or the relationship, you are just using different tactics that do not make him feel threatened.
They can feel threatened even if they are not being threatened. It's in their nasty little twisted minds.
It takes a lot of strategy to handle these creatures. Don't be your bull-self and fly off off the handle too often. Just save it for special occasions, hehehehehe (wicked snicker).
Maybe after talking to you he thought about the conversation and freaked out a little because he bared his soul. When you called back to tell him when you could go to see him, he probably reacted strange because he felt as if he told you "too much" in the previous conversation and placed the ball back in your court by doing so.
Now the "control" shifted to you.
My Cancer is a control freak. He absolutely HAS to have the upper hand in every situation. This ranges from where we will go to dinner to which type of room deodorizer to use.
You see, they have to THINK that they are in control. Learn his ways a little better and you will know how to deal with him in such a manner that he THINKS he's in control but in reality, you have a role in decisions as well.
NO, it's not being sneaky. It's called keeping the peace. You are not harming him or the relationship, you are just using different tactics that do not make him feel threatened.
They can feel threatened even if they are not being threatened. It's in their nasty little twisted minds.
It takes a lot of strategy to handle these creatures. Don't be your bull-self and fly off off the handle too often. Just save it for special occasions, hehehehehe (wicked snicker).
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Share your ideas! BUT I need gift ideas... things you BUY type deal ok?
I didn't mean ideas... I meant what is a good gift to BUY your lover?
Gifts? What? I'm clueless!
Oh, I see. But still, who would actually sit there and waste their time being two people?? Lol, if you think about it, it's pointless.
For V-Day?
No, for D-Day.
What about no lifers?
CapGirl,
I meant tues not wed. For some reason I was thinking that v-day was on wed. So what should I do for him? Any suggestions? I will definetely keep the ILY out of it. I just wonder if he'll do anything tho? Last Monday when I was at his place a commercial came on for jewelry for v-day and he just kind of looked at me out of the corner of his eye, and said hmmm...I just smiled. I don't know if he's even thought about it.
pathfinder,
thanks for being blunt. The truth of the matter is that I'm learning as I go with this. Sometimes i get really confused on what "I" really want out of this. Yes I do somewhat have the power now, but just as you said he did eventually get what he wanted. I do need to differentiate between friend and boyfriend. They r two different things, and he doesn't deserve what I do give him now. And ur exactly right with the "Why buy the cow when u can get the milk free." Nothing is really different when we were exclusive than what we r doing now. See when we became exclusive a couple weeks ago, that was the first time in 8 mos that we have. So I think it kind of freaked me out, as well as him probably, and I guess I just expected more from him, knowing that his time is limited, etc. Which Im ok with. I guess I just freaked out and expected him to then see me everyday and call me all day, everyday. My expectations went so high, I ruined the exclusiveness by expecting those things and I guess it was just too overwhelming for him. Now if I was just like I am now when we were exclusive a couple weeks ago, everything would be fine. But as I said, I realized after he said it wouldn't work what I did wrong in it. I do need to have a talk w/him now about what we r. I don't want to keep seeing him like this and him stringing me along without a commitment again for another 8 mos. I'm not scared of his answer. I believe he does have strong feelings for me, that's why he's still around. I don't think he'd put up with my crap if he didn't have to. If he just wanted sex he could get that anywhere. He's friends with a lot of girls, but he doesn't see those girls as much as he does me. He actually doesn't spend anytime w/them. I just wish that one day he'd call and tell me how he truly felt about me without me having to get it out of him. But if he continues to call and do what he's been doing this past week, we will have to have another talk about what we r. Right now it's not really bothering me because I am truly going w/the flow of things. I will probably get tired of that soon not knowing what we r tho. And I guess I'm just scared to get hurt by him again, and if I continue seeing him that may be what I get again. That's why I'm not trying to let myself get too involved in him again. Yes, I am seeing him, but I'm still keeping my emotions in check.
I meant tues not wed. For some reason I was thinking that v-day was on wed. So what should I do for him? Any suggestions? I will definetely keep the ILY out of it. I just wonder if he'll do anything tho? Last Monday when I was at his place a commercial came on for jewelry for v-day and he just kind of looked at me out of the corner of his eye, and said hmmm...I just smiled. I don't know if he's even thought about it.
pathfinder,
thanks for being blunt. The truth of the matter is that I'm learning as I go with this. Sometimes i get really confused on what "I" really want out of this. Yes I do somewhat have the power now, but just as you said he did eventually get what he wanted. I do need to differentiate between friend and boyfriend. They r two different things, and he doesn't deserve what I do give him now. And ur exactly right with the "Why buy the cow when u can get the milk free." Nothing is really different when we were exclusive than what we r doing now. See when we became exclusive a couple weeks ago, that was the first time in 8 mos that we have. So I think it kind of freaked me out, as well as him probably, and I guess I just expected more from him, knowing that his time is limited, etc. Which Im ok with. I guess I just freaked out and expected him to then see me everyday and call me all day, everyday. My expectations went so high, I ruined the exclusiveness by expecting those things and I guess it was just too overwhelming for him. Now if I was just like I am now when we were exclusive a couple weeks ago, everything would be fine. But as I said, I realized after he said it wouldn't work what I did wrong in it. I do need to have a talk w/him now about what we r. I don't want to keep seeing him like this and him stringing me along without a commitment again for another 8 mos. I'm not scared of his answer. I believe he does have strong feelings for me, that's why he's still around. I don't think he'd put up with my crap if he didn't have to. If he just wanted sex he could get that anywhere. He's friends with a lot of girls, but he doesn't see those girls as much as he does me. He actually doesn't spend anytime w/them. I just wish that one day he'd call and tell me how he truly felt about me without me having to get it out of him. But if he continues to call and do what he's been doing this past week, we will have to have another talk about what we r. Right now it's not really bothering me because I am truly going w/the flow of things. I will probably get tired of that soon not knowing what we r tho. And I guess I'm just scared to get hurt by him again, and if I continue seeing him that may be what I get again. That's why I'm not trying to let myself get too involved in him again. Yes, I am seeing him, but I'm still keeping my emotions in check.
I'm sorry he didn't return your call. I know how u feel tho, I wouldn't consider doing it now if he hadn't returned my call either. Good luck on the match.com, are you sure ur ready to start dating tho? I don't think ur truly over your cap. Is it best to move on like that, or should u take some time out first? Just suggestions! Good luck w/whatever you choose tho!
Oh yes... Valentines 