Wow, poor Gems. We are not having a good time...
I'm having a shit night. Absolute shit! Idk why I always have to ruin things when they seem to be going so well. A man wants to show me his love and make me happy and I have to find an excuse to not accept it. I was hoping I lost the habit but it showed its ugly head yet again..
nobody is perfect...nobody.
Well since I have no one else to talk about it with right now, here goes
Yesterday my Aqua guy revealed some things about his ex and their relationship even though we AGREED to not open up the EX files anymore and it hurt my feelings. He was trying to explain that I have nothing to worry about and why he;d never go back with her but it turned out to work against him.. without realizing he told me about all the things he did for her and bought her and she took them for granted bla bla.. but now all I can think about is how un-special (is there a term for that? like worse than ordinary) I feel knowing he's done the same exact things for someone else before while all along I felt like he did them because I inspired him .. It just completely killed the mood and ruined my day but I didn;t let him know because I didn;t want to upset him. All day today I was thinking about it and what do u know she came up AGAIN in a conversation about a rare skin condition she has, and he made the mistake of repeating to me two times how beautiful she was regardless ..... ugh. I've seen her pictures on fb but he doesn't it.. believe me she's got nothing on me and I'm very confident in myself. But that irritated me so badly. Like adding insult to injury. We were on the phone so I made my exit as soon as I could and he noticed my tone of voice and seemed worried but clueless.. I don't know what I hate more; the fact that he was stupid enough to go into such details about his previous relationship or the fact that I feel like a selfish immature and jealous child who must have all the attention to myself (which I do have all his attention right now) but for reason I can't any sleep now over it.. Did I finally find smth to pick at and try to run away because its been so good so soon? Do I have a valid concern ? Is it okay that I don't feel so special anymore? I guess we all know that our partners have had other lovers before us just like we did but it's different when you actually hear in detail the things that they and did and felt for others.. Do I even know what I'm talking about? Im just so tired. But i can't sleep. I feel like giving him back all his presents because it pisses me off knowing she has almost the same things... ughhhh. What;s the cure for disappointment, anyone?
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Nov 11, 2012Comments: 1 · Posts: 1534 · Topics: 3
This guy is 41, and I've been trying to get his azz in gear about trusting people, and giving that girl a chance, it's just funny how he wants something from her, but yet can't commit, or do what he says he is going to do with this girl, i told him he has to prove himself to her, can't expect her to agree to a threesome if u keep f******* up right?
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Dec 20, 2011Comments: 362 · Posts: 10167 · Topics: 100
I really call it a blessing in disguise! Though people might not readily see me as mature I won't deny the fact I am still childish and it helps me to bring out the fun in people!