how to spot a bastard by his star sign

PISCES BASTARD
To put it mildly, Pisces is a pathological liar: If you don??t believe us, try
this little quiz:
1. The Pisces bastard you love refuses to look you straight in the eye when
he answers a slightly tricky question.
True / False?
2. He tries to avoid answering tricky questions whenever humanly possible.
True / False?
3. He says he loves you madly and has done at least one thing to prove it.
True / False?
If you answered True to any of the above, you are not dating a Pisces bastard.
Either that, or you are a Pisces bastard, and you??re doing this quiz just to
prove us right.
Because he??s at the arse-end of the zodiac, Pisces is often referred to as the
astrological ???rubbish tip??. What this means is he has a little bit of all the
other star sign bastards in him, which makes him a bastard 12 times over. This
in turn means he??s obliged to tell massive fibs so you won??t find out the awful
truth.
When we first meet someone we like, its only natural to pretend to be something
we are not. Otherwise none of us would get a date. However, it??s to what extent
the truth is stretched, that separates the rest of the world from Pisces. For
instance, you might be a bus conductor, but pretend you actually drive the bus.
This is called a ???gross exaggeration??. Pisces, however, will be the bus driver,
and pretend it??s a really interesting job. This is called an ???appalling lie??.
The lies he tells to make himself look better, are not to be confused with the
little white ones he tells to protect your feelings (although how he can confuse
his arse with your feelings is a complete mystery to us).
When you accuse him of buying a house with his ex-girlfriend, he will deny it ???
even though you??re holding the deeds enclosed with his ???n?? hers names. Instead
he will say the real estate agent must have made a typing error. When you look
at him in utter disbelief he??ll say, okay then, he bought it by accident. When
you fall about laughing maniacally, he??ll whine that it wasn??t his fault ??? it
was yours ??? and, besides, she made him do it.
But it??s the pointless fib he tells which will really have you reaching for a
gun. Pisces will tell you he watched an art house film, when what he really did
was sleep through it. He??ll say he had a chicken and salad sandwich, when he
actually had a ham and salad sandwich. Why? Who the hell knows? We??re n

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