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Posted by Dafna79Posted by MissD312
Im still learning honestly. It is very hard to do bit I read inspirational quotes on pinterest a lot and focus on the the things I have that are blessings. I myself use to be very negative. But I got tired of feeling down. I will put on a funny video on YouTube. Look at sum standup comedy anything that makes me feel better and laughter is always the key.
Sounds like you have a pretty good understanding of how to manage your thoughts and feelings and stay positive; use those skills and don't let her negativity bring you down, separate yourself from that energy. You can still be supportive but right now she is not going to welcome you telling her to stay positive, understand where she is coming from, keep telling yourself that she is doing the best she can with the knowledge and experience she has, you cannot make her want to be positive like you, those changes come when the individual is ready like you did.
When my Cancer used to get super negative I just kept saying "I understand, it sucks you are feeling thtat way" I never offered advice unless he asked me, never criticized his negativity, and then I would change the subject or read a book and let him be miserable and negative, to be honest I just ignored him lol. I was still there with him, I was still my positive happy self, I just ignored the negativity and complaining and if it got too bad I would just let him be for a while.click to expand
Posted by djbuck1
It's not just Cancer women. Cancer men can be real downers, too. I had a Cancer roommate for two years in college. I loved the guy like a bro, but man could he get negative. I'd usually make one (1) effort to bring him around, but if he was determined to do the sand-burrowing thing I'd just say, "Okay. Burrow `til you hit bottom, then if you want to talk about it, let me know."
Of course, being a Pisces I'm not always a ray of sunshine either.
Posted by Vero23
Wow. I wouldn't stereotype. I'm more so of a positive optimistic person. I do have a "happy " personality. Ive been through hell & bck so now that I'm free, I have no reason to live negative life.
I do notice unhappy Cancers & that's so sad. Life is a work of art. It's whatever you mke it. I choose nothing less than greatness.
Posted by GemStar05
Sounds like you tried to be her friend on more than one occasion by pointing out how negative she is. I'd steer clear of this one--misery loves company. She'll drain you.
Posted by GemStar05
I had a friend like that always whining and complaining. I listened to her at first and then I noticed she seemed to be loving being miserable and I ditched her. I'm a happy, positive person; I don't have time for those who want to dwell in misery. My motto is, for everything that happens to you even if it's bad--find something good in it! It works!
Posted by incandescentcancerPosted by MissD312
She complained about EVERYTHING! The drinks weren't good, the waitress was slow, blah.. blah.. blah.. It got so bad that I couldn't wait to take her back home. The time before this I sent her the video of the Secret. I thought maybe she would understand that the negativity she puts out into the Universe is the same negativity she is receiving. Nevertheless I tried to tell her that her negativity was bringing me down. I told her to focus on her blessings instead. She got so upset and said I was being all high and mighty and she start bringing up my failed relationships. I don't understand. Where did I go wrong?
You did a very pisces thing to try and hep out someone in pain. Very appreciable effort on your part. She is the one completely in the wrong here, so don't internalize her ungracious behaviour as if it has something to do with you. Some cancers can be whiny cunts like that. Go Fishies!!!click to expand
Posted by ChrisNews
Not all cancer women are negative. I can't stand it. My mom and brothers can be negative and carry a "woe is I" attitude. It gets on my nerves
But yet I can be moody. And when I am , I want to get away from myself. I feel moody. I am grumpy and I want it to stop but I can't. Then I get more annnoyed - and with myself but my kids are near they annoy me.
I find it best to just be alone and let the mood ride out. I am also sarcastic -- moody or not and when I am am in a grumpy mood, that sarcasm is lethal. In a normal mood it is humorous.
Sometimes people are negative - it is they way they are raised. I've seen it in families. I once said hello to a young kid about 19 I knew his family. After saying hi, in the same sentence he gave me every health issue he had. lol then when i walked up to his house, and said hello to his dad, same thing and then the mom, same thing -except she could wait a few lines in the conversation to list out all the problems she had.
Funny thing was - they were the same problems 7 years prior. Just now the kids were doing the same thing.
I wanted to say, ah quit whining, it feeds the negative spirit.
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