Be emotional or be aloof. The big dilemma.

Posted by Europesaggy

My question: how to strike a balance between getting emotionally attached and keeping your cool,. How to deal with such stuff when it happens. What are your experiences? Is this more a female thing or do males experience the same?


How? Well you have to 1st ask yourself WHY you feel the need to attach so quickly
Is it b/c internal psychological issues encourage you to atleast be attached to SOMETHING/SOMEONE at all times?
Or is it b/c that person has actually told you, shown you & proven to you that they are worthy of such a great attachment so soon?
In other words, is that person really THAT great or is it that you have your "expectations meter" set to TOO HIGH in the beginning, thus that explains why falling easily for everybody (as opposed to that rare 1 or 2 people) is so easy?
Maybe you need to adjust that meter
What helped me was learning not to give someone credit for something unless I had proof that it was real!
For example, if a guy tells me he's faithful, nice, honest, trustworthy, fun, funny, etc. it may sound good BUT unless I've seen it for myself CONSISTENTLY, I don't allow myself to emotionally/psychologically believe it.
Only once I've seen it for myself CONSISTENTLY (keyword) will I allow my emotions to give someone credit for something.
It takes great mind control & discipline but it can work

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