Several beers.....
Posted by LucriuPosted by aquapiscescusp
Don't drink and DXP
Yeah....still trying to find out how to erase posts ^.^
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So, I'm not sure there is a question or an answer here, but I'd like to get some objective perspective. Hopefully that'll give me the closure to move on and not make the same mistakes or run into the same problems.
My friend NG introduced us during our first yr law school. I was still reeling from a tough divorce with a 4yr old child, so I was closed off to anyone at that point, much less a guy 8 yrs younger than me. He hung around like a sweet happy puppy, and was so persistent I couldn't help noticing all of his great qualities and it took him 6 months to convince me (he said) to sleep with him. It was quick and awkward, but I had come to care for him a lot and didn't want to mess up that friendship I was starting to rely on.
A couple of months later, I stopped resisting. Law school being a den of gossips I wanted to keep us secret until I could figure out all the confusing emotions. For a while we had fun with this secret affair until he declared his love for me and I felt the same, but we talked and I think I convinced him it wouldn't likely work (stupid me).
We made an arrangement to see each other until one of us dated, but promised to always be in each others lives no matter what happened, and if when we were old and unmarried, we could marry then. I didn't want to see him waste his youth on me as I'd done on my ex. ONLY two rules had to be followed. (1) NEVER have sex with me if he's dating and having sex with another woman. I don't share well (Aries, ). (2) He must tell me the instant he meets a woman he wants to date, when its getting serious (he wants sex) and the whole truth even if it might hurt.
He invited me to hang out with his friends and family and I met his mother, reluctantly bc I had an idea what that might mean, but soon he stopped asking me out and we only spent time around my friends, pretending to be friends in public and lovers in private. We went on this way for a couple of years. He flew through a couple of girls, but always came back asking why I wouldn't be his girlfriend, getting angrier and angrier each time. I didn't know why not anymore. I grew so deeply in love with him that I found it harder and hader to push him away. I had him over to every family event (I had only ever introduced my ex husband to my family before - not even friends). I even had him come on my family vacation with us to the UK. My family loved him too and I felt safer slowly as he became a part of my family so that I kept getting badgered
My friend NG introduced us during our first yr law school. I was still reeling from a tough divorce with a 4yr old child, so I was closed off to anyone at that point, much less a guy 8 yrs younger than me. He hung around like a sweet happy puppy, and was so persistent I couldn't help noticing all of his great qualities and it took him 6 months to convince me (he said) to sleep with him. It was quick and awkward, but I had come to care for him a lot and didn't want to mess up that friendship I was starting to rely on.
A couple of months later, I stopped resisting. Law school being a den of gossips I wanted to keep us secret until I could figure out all the confusing emotions. For a while we had fun with this secret affair until he declared his love for me and I felt the same, but we talked and I think I convinced him it wouldn't likely work (stupid me).
We made an arrangement to see each other until one of us dated, but promised to always be in each others lives no matter what happened, and if when we were old and unmarried, we could marry then. I didn't want to see him waste his youth on me as I'd done on my ex. ONLY two rules had to be followed. (1) NEVER have sex with me if he's dating and having sex with another woman. I don't share well (Aries, ). (2) He must tell me the instant he meets a woman he wants to date, when its getting serious (he wants sex) and the whole truth even if it might hurt.
He invited me to hang out with his friends and family and I met his mother, reluctantly bc I had an idea what that might mean, but soon he stopped asking me out and we only spent time around my friends, pretending to be friends in public and lovers in private. We went on this way for a couple of years. He flew through a couple of girls, but always came back asking why I wouldn't be his girlfriend, getting angrier and angrier each time. I didn't know why not anymore. I grew so deeply in love with him that I found it harder and hader to push him away. I had him over to every family event (I had only ever introduced my ex husband to my family before - not even friends). I even had him come on my family vacation with us to the UK. My family loved him too and I felt safer slowly as he became a part of my family so that I kept getting badgered
I'm a Taurus, my lover is a Leo. We had been together for about two years. And we love each other for a very long time, and we've spent so much time together, all the wonderful times, and we treasure each other... In these two years, we've met complicated problems and had broken up two times, but because we both miss each other so much when we broke up, so we get together again every time we broke up, its like a miracle when we get back to each other and our relationship get better as we knew we need each other. We try to solve all the problems which come in our way and we remain together and things was good. But lately, my lover get busy and join some activities or part time work of creating a big event. We've lose contact when she's busy preparing for her work far away from her home, and I've miss her so much. But we still contact each other once in a week during her busy times. And lately, she told me she has fell in love with someone else, and said she love him and want to live with him, she wants my opinion about it, saying she still love me, and I'm heartbroken... It has been so long time, living everyday with her on my mind, and I just can't spend one day without her, and now she's leaving me for someone else, and she wants my wishes for her, saying I mean a lot to her and she loves me. I know she's the one who I want to be with this whole life, the one I have love today, tomorrow, and always until forever, and forever... What should I do..? I'm lost, and do not know what to do to ease the pain inside me, its killing me and tearing me apart, its like living without a soul, soul that lost his heart, and everyday pass, and I still yearn for her love, the days, the memories are killing me. I miss her badly, I love her so much, but...I can't do anything, I only wish for her happiness, and waits for her to return to me, or should I believe in miracles again? She means so much to me, and even though now she think of me as her best friend, I still want to be with her, I want to be beside her, to live with her, and to love her more than anyone else, until forever. She's my forever love. No matter whatever happen in the future, I'll be her guardian angel, still watch over her, care about her for the rest of my lifetime. I know whats my problem, though its hurting me, I just can't stop loving her. And it goes on forever. For me, love means forever. And I'll always love her.
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My family loved him too and I felt safer slowly as he became a part of my family so that I kept getting badgered about not marrying him already.
Back from the trip I wanted to ask him to stop dating other women, but I was scared. The following weekends we spent together, including my son and it was great like a little family. My 9yr son even called him to hang out together on their own at a movie (son had never done that before, even to my own brother). Wow I was smitten! Then I found out I was pregnant and we had talked about it before. He says he's catholic and doesn't believe in abortion. I don't want an abortion, but he's given me so much hot and cold and emotional withdrawal that I don't know what to do. I keep trying to get him to talk to me and maybe help me with my fears so I would feel comfortable with the idea, but he only repeats he'll do the right thing and we'll keep it and we'll figure it out, but it's my body, my decision. Augh.. Our affair was secret so I couldn't talk to anyone and he though there physically for the next three weeks was completely silent most of the time.
I decided I'd rather deal with the pain of abortion than to marry a man who might not love me as more than his baby's mama (confused and hormonal). It was horrible and he was mean to me when I was going through it. We had our first real angry hurtful argument then, but we seemed to talk someof it out and we were lovingly together for another couple of months up until about 5 weeks ago.
NG introduced him to another friend of hers. My age with a 14yr old daughter, attorney and hispanic like him (i stopped halfway through school bc of ex and child issues). We got into a horrible fight two days after they met bc I still hadn't declared my status to my family at my son's bday party and I didn't even know he still felt that way. He apologized, but I ignored him for 3 days. then drama ensued at my house and he came by later that night to console me but he was so distant and he said he really liked the girl. I said this is weird, it feels like we're breaking up, he shrugged.
A week later he was supposed to go camping with us, but backed out, so I stopped by for a drink after his work before we left and we went back to his place. We flirted a bit on that following weekend and I'd noticed he'd stopped texting me every morning. We grabbed drinks and began to talk. I was devastated when he talked about wanting to try and make it work with her. I pretended to be ok with it,
Back from the trip I wanted to ask him to stop dating other women, but I was scared. The following weekends we spent together, including my son and it was great like a little family. My 9yr son even called him to hang out together on their own at a movie (son had never done that before, even to my own brother). Wow I was smitten! Then I found out I was pregnant and we had talked about it before. He says he's catholic and doesn't believe in abortion. I don't want an abortion, but he's given me so much hot and cold and emotional withdrawal that I don't know what to do. I keep trying to get him to talk to me and maybe help me with my fears so I would feel comfortable with the idea, but he only repeats he'll do the right thing and we'll keep it and we'll figure it out, but it's my body, my decision. Augh.. Our affair was secret so I couldn't talk to anyone and he though there physically for the next three weeks was completely silent most of the time.
I decided I'd rather deal with the pain of abortion than to marry a man who might not love me as more than his baby's mama (confused and hormonal). It was horrible and he was mean to me when I was going through it. We had our first real angry hurtful argument then, but we seemed to talk someof it out and we were lovingly together for another couple of months up until about 5 weeks ago.
NG introduced him to another friend of hers. My age with a 14yr old daughter, attorney and hispanic like him (i stopped halfway through school bc of ex and child issues). We got into a horrible fight two days after they met bc I still hadn't declared my status to my family at my son's bday party and I didn't even know he still felt that way. He apologized, but I ignored him for 3 days. then drama ensued at my house and he came by later that night to console me but he was so distant and he said he really liked the girl. I said this is weird, it feels like we're breaking up, he shrugged.
A week later he was supposed to go camping with us, but backed out, so I stopped by for a drink after his work before we left and we went back to his place. We flirted a bit on that following weekend and I'd noticed he'd stopped texting me every morning. We grabbed drinks and began to talk. I was devastated when he talked about wanting to try and make it work with her. I pretended to be ok with it,
I pretended to be ok with it, but I wanted to run away and cry. He apparently was supposed to see her that night and was late, only it turned out he'd been spending nights at her house and hadn't told her he was grabbing a drink with me to talk platonically at that point. He'd somehow lied to her about where he was and didn't respond to me the whole wknd even thou he was supposed to come with me to my brother's baby shower/ my entire family summer get together. Everyone kept asking me where he was (they treated us like we were already married, including his and my mutual friends who were there). I was in shock and had told him I needed him there bc I was still hurting about us not keeping it (I regretted it badly) since my bro's baby and mine had due dates about 1.5 wk apart.
I'd needed to get books for a class and had told him I'd need them by this wknd svrl wks in a row. I was on my way home, had to pass by his house and texted him I was stopping by there to get my stuff. He chose her (after 2.5 wks?!) and I didnt want to be just his friend anymore. Mad and hurt I demanded he tell his mother to let me get his stuff from his upstairs apt (I helped decorate) or I would (reasurring him I'd never do or say anything to let her know there was something wrong). He said he was still at her place, but called as asked. I like her, we'd had a number of conversations. His dad had met my family at the airport. He'd talked about having them over to our house for dinner one day. I would never have said anything to her anyway. She let me up and told me to lock up behind me and stop by before I left. My son had left toys and we kept forgetting to pick them up. I got all of my stuff (none of the gifts I'd left him over the yrs).
I sobbed the hour ride home as if someone had died. He was my best friend and constant companion for the last 4+ yrs. He didn't call as promised when he got home but left a vmail the next night which I was afraid to return, knowing he was going to rejct me. I wrote him a letter saying I loved him to much to be his friend anymore and that I really hoped she made him happy (meh- i also said some admonishing things about not lying to people in the future and to communicate better so she'd trust better) and left it in his mailbox a couple of days later (I didn't say it quite right after I reread what I wrote). No response by Friday, I finally broke down and told my parents everything. Dad told me to demand he tell me we were through face to fac
I'd needed to get books for a class and had told him I'd need them by this wknd svrl wks in a row. I was on my way home, had to pass by his house and texted him I was stopping by there to get my stuff. He chose her (after 2.5 wks?!) and I didnt want to be just his friend anymore. Mad and hurt I demanded he tell his mother to let me get his stuff from his upstairs apt (I helped decorate) or I would (reasurring him I'd never do or say anything to let her know there was something wrong). He said he was still at her place, but called as asked. I like her, we'd had a number of conversations. His dad had met my family at the airport. He'd talked about having them over to our house for dinner one day. I would never have said anything to her anyway. She let me up and told me to lock up behind me and stop by before I left. My son had left toys and we kept forgetting to pick them up. I got all of my stuff (none of the gifts I'd left him over the yrs).
I sobbed the hour ride home as if someone had died. He was my best friend and constant companion for the last 4+ yrs. He didn't call as promised when he got home but left a vmail the next night which I was afraid to return, knowing he was going to rejct me. I wrote him a letter saying I loved him to much to be his friend anymore and that I really hoped she made him happy (meh- i also said some admonishing things about not lying to people in the future and to communicate better so she'd trust better) and left it in his mailbox a couple of days later (I didn't say it quite right after I reread what I wrote). No response by Friday, I finally broke down and told my parents everything. Dad told me to demand he tell me we were through face to fac
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Posted by David13
Dear TheCharmer8...
Doing the math... I guess you are approaching 8 weeks now. I think it time to change your game... what you are doing is not working.
You lived together because of HER family problems... I will come back to that.
Let me show you some things that you might be doing wrong... I say 'might' because it is merely my speculation from what I have read.
Your breaking point to send her an sms is 5 days... THIS is not long enough... she broke with you... which says that she needs time alone... this mostly means WITHOUT YOU. She comes over... you talk together... you want her to miss you... but how can she miss you when you are always there ?
I am not sure of the circumstances of her coming over at all... perhaps you make her feel guilty in some way... perhaps it is that she feels pity for you... Taurus can be made to feel weak when it comes to another's suffering. But THIS is not what you WANT ! You want her to WANT to come to you !
YOU have been HER addiction too... but allowing her to see you so readily gives her 'the fix' that she needs. Taurus cannot quit 'cold-turkey' they find it best to ween themselves... nice and slow... which is giving HER the time SHE needs to get over you. Consequently... that leaves you in the same place you have been for almost two months.
I am sure that you will see her again... but decide now that THAT will be the last time... that you will NOT follow up with an sms saying 'thanks for coming over'... 'I have missed you'... et cetera et cetera. The NEXT time... DO NOT CRACK ! This will start the cogs rolling in her head... wondering what YOU are doing and WHY you haven't contacted her. She can wait a long time... but NO ONE can wait forever.
As for her problems with her family... those problems will return. Have you ever seen anyone trying to stop smoking by chance ? The longer they go... the more irritable they become... let here keep that irritability on her family front... without YOU being her escape.
I am sorry for all of this... it is NEVER easy. You have probably heard this before, but you need to do YOU now. YOU is all that you can do. Right now, you are trying to prove that you 'have changed'... but whenever a man changes for a woman... the changes are almost never what the woman actually wanted. IF you change... you must only change for YOU ! The man you were when you met her... THAT is th
i kinda just want to stop texting her cold turkey and see what she thinks if i do that... maybe she'll wonder about me or maybe not... maybe that other guy will occupy her or maybe not... i want to leave her alone and see if she misses me but at the same time... i feel if i do that, it;ll just give her time and she'll cling on to the next guy and not worry about me anymore.. idk what to do
Posted by CluelessCancer
He's a racist. What else is there to say?
Can you tell me what makes him racist?
Can I still point out that you were snooping when you went through his history? Then looked up the websites? Went through the trouble of looking at his twitter? And finding out he is actually spending his money on porn? (P.s. Are you sure he is spending money on it? Most porn is free.)
You found something you didn't like. Confront him with it and talk about it.
Before you found out, did you ever feel like he might cheat on you? Would you trust him if you didn't know?
Trying to explain why you like a certain kind of porn is hard enough but it usually leads to some funny stories.
You found something you didn't like. Confront him with it and talk about it.
Before you found out, did you ever feel like he might cheat on you? Would you trust him if you didn't know?
Trying to explain why you like a certain kind of porn is hard enough but it usually leads to some funny stories.