What is it Like to Be You?

I am honeest with myself, aware of most of my issues, and I don't like to explain myself. Stick around and see why I am the way I am, if I am actually that way all the time. My actions speak louder than my words. I give people the benefit of the doubt, I really hate it when others don't do the same for me.

Are you regimented? If I have found a project I can commit myself too and see being succesful, I can be very regimented. If I am depressed from a failure or working on projects I don't see a ton of promise in, I might fall off the band wagon and become a total meess.
Do you prefer disorganization or organization? I definitely prefer to be organized. Sometimes I am too distracted by a project to take care of the minor details and stay organized. But I definitely feel better in a clean environment.
Do you feel people misinterpret your intentions or do you feel mostly understood? I am constantly misunderstood. It doesn't bother me because I know if I keep being me, eventually they will see who I a really am. My closest friends all have. The problem is when someone stops paying attention to me, stops trying to figure me out, when I know they have the wrong idea. That is when I get very anxious and feel like I missed an oppurtunity with someone who could have been a close friend. That anxiety usually just drives me to act LESS like myself. I work hard to avoid it by being detatched from people I don't know well or distracting myself with other people / projects when I care too much about a stranger. Sometimees nothing can change how I feel about a person. I know why I like them. I am quick to decide if I disliike or like a new person (but my opinions on anyone and everything can change rapidly with new information).
Do you seem to attract/be attracted to certain types of people? And if so, who? I attract abusers and maniupalaturs. This is because I like to be open, honest and accepted for who I am. I open myself up to these people very quickly. They spot my weaknesses and use them against me. I also don't like to give up at things until I have a good reason too, which makes it hard for me to walk away from someone after spotting red flags. However, the more it happens the easier it is for me to cut them out early on. I have seen the results (I only try things once, twice... rarely three times Winking).
Do you have parts about yourself you'd like to change? I really wish I could be dishonest. It seems liike most people have two versions of themselves, the one they present to the world so they can easily make any situation work or work with people they don't like. Then the person who they really are that they only show to closest friends and family. I feel like only the latter part of me exists. I don't know how to be when I have to hold back or hide my true feelings for the good of the situatiion, even if I know it is best.
Do you put up guards or do you consider yourself to be quite open? I have to put up a guard at first so I can see if I can t