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Posted by ChuckcemWe would barely fight or argue. We had a very good friienship within the relationship. Were like bestfriends.
Sounds like there is definitely another side to this story. From what you said, you needed to persuade and beg your Leo woman to have sex with you. This alone is a red flag. Yes, as relationships settle sex expectancy can decrease, but at your age a healthy sex life is very possible to maintain. Additionally, Leo's are not hard to persuade when it comes to having sex with our partners. If a Leo is rebuffing your advances, there's an underlying issue.
Your Leo lady didn't feel like you were connecting with her on an emotional level. Generally if a woman is in a romantic relationship, she will want to have that emotional connection with her partner. My question is, how often did you two argue and were HER feelings ever addressed? Arguments are a quick way to close off a woman emotionally if she doesn't feel that her partner is seeking to understand her. You said as much in your first paragraph:
"We would never fight but have arguments and she would go in another room and i would give her her space. Shed come back 20 mins later saying how she wanted me to chase her or check on her but never did. So over the years we built a strong bond. We moved out to our first appartment and brought us even closer. Use to alway hug and tell her we made it. My charisma and charm drove her nuts."
I think YOU felt that you had a strong bond, but the Leo woman was slowly being turned off. When a Leo is in a relationship, it can take us a LONG time to cool off and leave. We are very stubborn and see breakups as failures on our part. Leos give a LOT of chances to those we love. However it doesn't sound like any adjustments were made to properly understand each other, since everything went downhill.
If I had to guess, she probably thought that you only wanted her for sex after a certain point. Libras like their space, even in relationships, but a Leo desires closeness. Libras can seem detached to us if the emotional bond isn't strong. Sure we want our freedom to be ourselves, but we also want to keep our lovers close. You stated, "I have a lack expressing my emotions.", which sounds like the Leo had a hard time connecting with you on that level. If you were rebuffing her emotionally, then she was rebuffing you physically. It also sounds like you expected her to keep up the romance when you stated "We both got comfortable and she stopped doing things that made me fall for her and i started taking her for granted."
So then you broke up with her over the lack of "passion and romance". The honeymoon phase was officially over. As indicated by your woman's actions, the passion and romance had already diminished a while ago. The other thing to realize is, you barely knew this woman when you first moved in together. It takes the human brain 3 months to get accustomed to another person. By 3 months is when people start showing their "true" selves. So it sounds like there was a lot misunderstanding between you two on a deeper level.
The reason I say ALL of this is because after you broke up you found a sexual relationship to satisfy you (the rebound). Likewise she also entered into another relationship where she had no trouble getting frisky with another guy. That indicates that there was nothing wrong with her sex drive. So really the underlying issue was that the Leo woman didn't feel emotionally connected to you. This was made even worse when you started to push-pull, which is very confusing for a Leo. Leo's respect/need a more direct approach. Running hot/cold is an easy way to irritate us.
Sounds like the Leo woman still may have some emotions left over for you, but her trust in you is broken. She may try "friend zoning" you while she figure things out. Remember YOU'RE the one who broke up with her, so it's on you to get her back. I don't recommend chasing her, but you need to be willing to swallow your pride. Also know if she's telling you "maybe" that's essentially her saying "no I don't trust you yet."
Before I go into how you can get her back, my question is WHY do you want her back? Sounds like you miss having someone, but not necessarily her. You THINK you want her because your needs weren't satisfied with the rebound (which is common), but that doesn't mean you value the Leo woman. As everyone else has already said, the underlying issue is still there. What's changed that makes you think this will be better the second time around? Yes you have 5 years of familiarity, but you also have several years of not meeting each other's needs. So what's different?
She had a ton of stress going on with school and family she never addressed. The guy she slept with right out of the break up i think was to see how she would respond to see if she was "normal". Said she did it because she was hurt.
I do think we may have not been on the same level at times. She never expressed that to me about emotional disconnect. When a man has to ask, beg etc.for his woman, It does something to use inside. I do like my space but because we both had that bond we would always be together. Id want my space so id go in other room but come a commerical id go check up on her.
Her mother even told her that since we're both young to work on our sex life. Nothing changed. When we moved into our appartment, just the excitment of being out and having your own should spark something. I would just do my boyfriend touchy feely and she'd brush me off. That shit hurts!
Why do i want her back? I guess in a way it is history and famililarity and also love. She suggested classes or seek help finally when i was out the door. Im for that now but like you say, whats gonna stop that from coming back!?
As much as id hate for us not to reunite and address and iron out issues, i believe our time has come. My emotions have settled and looking at the BIG picture. Did we make eack other better for the next, time will tell. With the help on here and answering my own questions i see it for what its worth. Just relationships ending suck and hurt. Being tjis is also my first real relationship as a adult. My brother just mentioned to me about the 3 loves we get. Well im feeling this is my 2nd love.
Posted by andswho#triggeredPosted by firebunnyGo back to your cubicle firebunnyPosted by andswhoYou're dumb
You know what I was gonna make a thread about why everyone on dxp is calling me narcissistic I'm like how did that even happenclick to expand
This is CC's fault.
@CaramelizedCoffee
@CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by andswhoI pity you.Posted by firebunnyOk if you say so #supertriggeredPosted by andswho#triggeredPosted by firebunnyGo back to your cubicle firebunnyPosted by andswhoYou're dumb
You know what I was gonna make a thread about why everyone on dxp is calling me narcissistic I'm like how did that even happenclick to expand
Posted by susuI believe i am, someone else has her attention right now and think thats whats shes persuing at the moment. I bought her flowers and got 2 tickets to a show. She said she will let me know about the show. Has never told me no but then states she doesnt want to lead me on. The chase is what i see she wsnts from me. Im just going to do no contact and see what happens
you hurt her and a leo female obviously has pride..she will make you work for it if you're still in her heart.
If she gave up, it's too late to get her back. Time to move on
Posted by LadyNeptuneWe would seek outside help and id be more attentive to her emotuons amd feelings. Also it is a 2 way street so id hope she would work just as hard.
So if she comes back and you win her how will that solve any of your original problems in the relationship? It won't.
all this has already been done probably several times
Posted by BreezeInteresting, well in that case, sounds like she has some underlying issues that she needs to address. When it comes to Leos and Libras relationships, we tend to blow past the deeper issues in an effort to keep things positive. Quality communication can get brushed under the rug as a result. Until she does that, there isn't much you can do. It's best to take what lessons you can from the relationship and move forward. My suggestion would be to leave her alone and find someone more compatible.
We would barely fight or argue. We had a very good friienship within the relationship. Were like bestfriends.
She had a ton of stress going on with school and family she never addressed. The guy she slept with right out of the break up i think was to see how she would respond to see if she was "normal". Said she did it because she was hurt.
I do think we may have not been on the same level at times. She never expressed that to me about emotional disconnect. When a man has to ask, beg etc.for his woman, It does something to use inside. I do like my space but because we both had that bond we would always be together. Id want my space so id go in other room but come a commerical id go check up on her.
Her mother even told her that since we're both young to work on our sex life. Nothing changed. When we moved into our appartment, just the excitment of being out and having your own should spark something. I would just do my boyfriend touchy feely and she'd brush me off. That shit hurts!
Why do i want her back? I guess in a way it is history and famililarity and also love. She suggested classes or seek help finally when i was out the door. Im for that now but like you say, whats gonna stop that from coming back!?
As much as id hate for us not to reunite and address and iron out issues, i believe our time has come. My emotions have settled and looking at the BIG picture. Did we make eack other better for the next, time will tell. With the help on here and answering my own questions i see it for what its worth. Just relationships ending suck and hurt. Being tjis is also my first real relationship as a adult. My brother just mentioned to me about the 3 loves we get. Well im feeling this is my 2nd love.
Posted by DannyMCHey, not knocking. Just saying what I think. Work and work and work and career career career and..... boring boring boring. I was that way myself years ago. Yuck! Now I work my ass off 9 months or so a year then relax the rest of the time. I could do more and make more money, but hey, I can't take anything with me when I'm dead. I'd rather enjoy my money and spoil myself and husband. And work till I'm dead!
PS: What Tom said makes sense, just don't be a douche to the girl, man.. don't pay attention to 81gems either.. his/her kids will inherit a rented trailer and credit card debt and take care of many.. idk.. maybe some goldfish.. and hopefully their kids.. J/k gems.. but don't knock peoples ambition
Anyway, I think the OP is being too hasty, but if his career is THAT important to him, and his time is too precious to invest in things like a relationship with someone he's interested in, that's on him.
He should realize Virgo is like Capricorn in some ways. They both see the meaning in working, keeping "busy," being resourceful, using things/people to their advantage, and money. If he can remember this it'll help him avoid frustration in the future.
Posted by firebunnyw o u l d y o u b e t h e r a p i s t f o r a n d s ?
I think Ands needs a therapy.