Dating after divorce

Posted by taurusgirl9000

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by taurusgirl9000
I have been divorced for nearly a year. We had no children, no house, no shared assets. I moved away from my ex and was caught up in the flurry of learning a new language, starting a new job, and navigating a new country. I didn't want to think about the divorce at the time and was able to avoid it.

A year later, I have adjusted to these changes, and the pain is starting to seep in. I have been dating someone that has fallen in love with me. But I find it hard to say that I love him back. Lately I cry over my ex and miss him and wonder why I left him.

I have told my current boyfriend that it feels like I need to be alone for a while. Unfortunately now we are living together and it would mean breaking up and moving out, an additional pain for me to deal with. He says he doesn't want to lose me, and I don't want to break up with him. I'm not sure if I want to stay with him because I actually want a long-term relationship or simply because I'm scared. It's like I don't know my own heart these days. I constantly feel confused, second-guess, and lately have been starting to feel depressed.

Part of me is terrified to be alone. The other part knows that it may be what I need to do if I ever want to have a healthy relationship again.

Are you divorced? How did you heal after yours?

Hi. Give yourself time. Stay in the relationship you are currently in. One of these days you will SNAP, turn to your bf lying in bed next to you and you will realize he's the best thing God gave you. Girl, you are LUCKY, LUCKY to have met a man (and you used the word "unfortunately" living with now); because GOOD men are SCARCE!!! I have been divorced three years; last serious relationship I had was 15 months ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have cobwebs in my "Miss Kitty" I have met a man (Taurus); you've read my posts. We, single women, have gone thru hell and back with horror "dating" stories. I, too, lived (five yrs) with a guy (Scorpio many, many moons ago); when I FINALLY was falling in love with him guess what happened? He cheated on me. Was this love lost? Not really. I just don't want this to happen to you. Again, give yourself time. You'll realize you've got a GOOD guy.

I'm confused (edited my post); the title is "Dating after divorce". You SURPASSED that (luckily, again) since you met someone so fast, so soon, so "lucky" (you should play the lottery). Eva looking puzzled

Good luck!

cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Thanks, Eva! You're very sweet. I think I said "unfortunately" because I feel badly about my confused self and the impact that confusion has on this wonderful man. Perhaps it hurts more since we live together, and I don't want to hurt him... But I guess I already have and I can only be honest with him about my feelings. I feel lucky to have found someone that understands me and is such a gentle soul, willing to stand by me through all of this.

I'm not really the "dating" type. Ha. I realize now that title is not entirely accurate. I'm a relationship girl, I always hop from one to another, have rarely been single. You're right, of course, a good man is hard to find. And maybe if I left him I would be out there alone for a long time because I am very picky about who I choose to be with. But maybe that would be good for me and would make me more capable of being in a healthy relationship.

Thanks for your perspective and hug

click to expand