Why are relationships like this??
Posted by hydorahYou would know wouldn’t you? Lmao
the things you described are not real "relationships", just pepole profiting of the other or trying to make the other their bitch
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Posted by AerialViewWe are
Are fishes that great?
cyber hugs! Love,
Eva
Signed Up: Jul 28, 2016
Comments: 4222 · Posts: 6474 · Topics: 83
Comments: 4222 · Posts: 6474 · Topics: 83
Posted by Totiwrong
Hi everyone. My best friend who recently got married (she is 38) and just came from her fairytale honeymoon (destination wise) just asked me what I think of the fact that her husband didn't post any photo of thebtwo of them together on IG, but he did post photos of himself laying on the bed and several photos of the scenery and his breakfast plate. I answered her not to be bothered and not to think about it. But I'm intrigued why would a 43year old man post his naked legs but not his wife? Thanks for the replies!
Posted by Seleukosyeah tell me more about my motivations and how I feel/what I want. Even though you were bitching about me making assumptions about your motivations/feelings. Hypocrite much?Posted by LadyNeptuneYes, but it can be linked to higher cause that is still within in the egos selfinterest. It's just smarter because it take more people into account.Posted by SeleukosPlot twist: ego is the cause for every behavior. duh.Posted by LadyNeptuneWhich makes the ego as the cause for your behaviour the most likely reason which is disheartening.Posted by Seleukos0 interest in arguing with you or being understood by you. ByeeeeeeeeeePosted by LadyNeptuneNo, that's not what I meant and you know it.Posted by SeleukosDefeating myself? This isn't a competition to me. Glad to know your here to win...not sure what the prize is. Good luckPosted by LadyNeptuneOkay, so instead of sticking with rational arguments you try to do the same thing I already told it wouldn't work?Posted by SeleukosPosted by LadyNeptuneAnd yet to felt the need to hijack this thread in most toxic way possible.Posted by SeleukosI've said several times that men should talk about their problems with a professional. And guess what...earning 30% more means they have more access to those resources.Posted by LadyNeptuneYeah, letsgo with personal attacks. That always makes things better right?Posted by SeleukosMoney means everything.
The point is that money means nothing if there are other more grave problems that needs to solved in the areas of equality.
To claim it doesn't means either you've never had to go without...or your country has excellent free healthcare.
In order to get help with depression or suicidal ideation (to use your example) you need professional care. Professional care cost $ $ $ . If your earning 30% more than half of the population you have more opportunities to obtain said care.
So to reiterate, cry about it in therapy.
Money doesn't mean everything. It is important sure but you can have all the money you want and still be depressed and end up killing yourself. That was the point of my statement regarding your first.
Accusing me of not understanding the importance of money due to a possible background is pointless because it' meaningless. It adds nothing to the discussion nor does refute one of my points.
Why not working together instead of fighting about something that we at it's base level agree upon.
Women should have equal pay. No one is denying that.
But men also should be allowed to talk about their problems without being attacked for a problem they man not even be personally responible for.
What do you hope to gain by that? Is it a ego thing?
Personal attack? Wow so emotional.
My question remains: Why?
Noting that you clumsily tried to attack me on an emotiona/personal level either in argument or use of language doesn't mean I'm personally offendend.
Insinuating I would be is a age old rhetorical trick. Nothing more.
Standig up for mens need to talk or other needs is good and I thank you for that.
This however isn't invalidating my points.
Assuming the behaviour you are showing here would be the general reaction men had to face whenever they open up about one of their personal problems, do you think any amount of therapy would prevent them from suicide if they had to face this everyday without any emotional support in form of family etc. ?
Would it be okay if a man would burt into a discussion about rape and the ensuing traumata women have to deal with only to point at a different problem?
No matter how important that problem may be it would still, in the best case, hurt a couple of people and, in the worst case, turn all those people against you.
All you achieve by acting the way you do is damaging the cause you are fighting for because you're alienating other people and turn them against it.
Not because you're cause is wrong or anything. You're achieving all of that by simply not acting with common sense.
Youn can't want that if you were trully for pay equality. That's why I asked if this is an ego thing.
Uggghhhh.
If you think I'm toxic fine. But to say I hijack the thread, have ego, am attacking you, blah blah blah. You sought me out. You replied to my comment...repeatedly. If you don't like what I have to say, block me, don't engage with me, whatever.
I'm not going to censor my opinion cause you have hurt feels. Get over yourself.
Great, you are basically defeating yourself here.
For the record:
I'm, apparently, the one that is fighting for gender equality while you prefer to try to hurt someones feelings.
Thank you, for clarifying what your motivation is here.
It is not gender equality. You, accoring the behaviour you are showing here, don't even care the slightest about the wellbeing of you gender or fellow human being in general.
The cheap ego boost by being "edgy" has more value to you than those things.
Youn can also block me or stop responding to me if you find me as annoying as you try to pretend.
It's just another cheap trick and no real argument.
I meant, just be clear, that your actions damage the course you are claiming to fight for.
That's the definition of selfdefeating behaviour.
This is also why I asked multiple times why you are acting the way you do because it isn't helping you or your cause at all.
That's what I'm trying to understand here. Nothing else.
Although it was to be expected.
By reffering to you ego as the cause I was excluding the possibilty of you really caring about the pay gap.
You acted the way you did to feel great for youself and not because you actually want equal payment for both genders. That's the thing you instantly droped in the discussion to draw into a swamp of personal attack attempts.
You can try playing with semantics if you want but they are not going to help you if your actions don't support it or even, like in this case, speak against it.
I hope you improve on your debating skills if wou plan on taking this fight into reality at one day because I would really like to see the same payment for both genders.click to expand
Posted by RooSagicornPosted by UnicornSagLol. My Cap asked me why I raised my voice once.. I was just getting a bit excited talking about something.. but it’s not like he doesn’t lmao.. all you can do is be yourself. It either works or it doesn't.Posted by RooSagicornPosted by UnicornSagWell it could be the Sag too. I get fired up & go off. Then once I calm down and I’m fine. In those times, he won’t talk to me til I’ve calmed down. Maybe earth sign thing.Posted by miriyahhhAh believe me I know what you're talking about...had very similar situation with mine, he literally retreated completely after something I did...that was my Aries Moon in action! lol once I get to calm that jerk down I start thinking more reasonable and realize where I went wrong but it annoys me you have to walk on eggshells around them to not make them run away! I mean I get them, ti's fine the way they are but I can't change myself to adjust to them either...Somehow I finally got to control my Moon but seriously it's really hard, I can only imagine how it can be for Aries sun...anyway, once you get to calm down there's some possibility to make it work again but the more you push them the worse it getsPosted by UnicornSagPosted by miriyahhhjust let him do it in his own pace...the more you push them the more they will start retreating lolPosted by RooSagicornThis is why me and my cap go through hard times. Because even though I know he has deep feelings he keeps the tough guy bravado face. I need him to open up. I guess I over did it lolPosted by miriyahhhSo sensitive seriously! It is beautiful though
Caps just have good control of emotions bcz they are earthy grounded. Which is cool but then when they have emotions they run deep. It's beautiful yet mildly irritating.
I've heard one express some feelings to his gf lately! Rare situations! lol
But now that I think about it I haven't seen him smile even once in entire 3 days together and I mean being around 24h constant lol weird creatures, let them be their way
Yeah Im black and white. Your either in OR out. He started to go from all out to all in the out again because I was doing some weird things I admit. It's like the more he calmed down the more I got turned up. Wierd. IDK
I really am mostly calm with him though because he grounds me. I have no interest in a power struggle so I let him do whatever and I make my choices. It makes it a safe place for both of us. Me sag sun/aqua moon him Cap sun/Virgo Moon. If there was more fire, it would be tough I think.
Well as you know I'm all fire lol so that creates problems. Actually he told me once I have problem with my temper...unfortunately it was true but only towards him :/ if you would ask me why I seriously have no idea...I acted way much different than how I am. But being temperamental at times is my problem, all that I read on cafe.astrology about Aries moon completely describes this side of me which rarely goes out but it did go out with him. But when I thought about it with cooled head I realized it's not THAT bad. I'm no saint but neither is he...we should be able to accept certain flaws about one another to be together. If we can't then we're not meant for each other and there's someone else who will. Maybe I made it sound here much worse than it is lol it's not really something huge that happened but for some reason affected him too muchclick to expand
Update: I know it's only been a few days but because I'm a fire sun I move quickly. I have come to the conclusion of just letting go. I mean like really.
He calls and texts for little things and that hurts a lot. I'd rather just have it be done then keep investing time and feelings into what seemingly seems like nothing.
I sent him a brief paragraph last night saying he should just move on. And stop calling from different numbers bcz it just hurts me in the end. He responded saying he only needs me to do something for him and all that tough guy mumbo jumbo. That's unfair and I've done too much for him to continue to waste my time.
IDK if that's being nice or truly being a jerk either way Its too many emotions involved and I've already started the process of moving on...
Any thoughts?
Posted by HaziiFloOh maybe try asking like "I've heard people who were born in the early morning hours are more active. That's true for you?"Posted by Ram416Thanks ram,
No exact time of birth?
Can't tell if the person is actually a Cap moon or he could be something else. Plus houses are important to see what sort of influence the placements will be under. Can't see the houses in this chart cos there's no exact time of birth.
How do I go about asking birth time without seeming too creepy or obvious? That’s the issue.
He all about his business and money, so the cap placements seem right on but who knows.click to expand
Then if he denies you can ask what time he was born
Loool 😎
Posted by shakedownjust act, as if nothing happened (if you dont have any agenda in this).... talk to them, like it was a good evening, where opinions get discussed (I just feel, it was not discussed in a tolerant manner or not discussed at all, you dont revail, what went on, if anybody said anything or just let the "judgemental" girl has her own way), but the main thing is, how to maintain the relationships with them....Posted by Pandora101You sound so optimistic. I don't know if it will be that easy. Some women can hold grunges forever. I have yet to speak to either of them today. If it seems they can reconcile then we will continue having our girls night. I am not sure what is behind the dislike. I think its just because they come from two completely different backgrounds. They have interacted before, just not for long periods of time.Posted by shakedown"It was girls night at my house, which entails drinks and "Strawberry Cough" lol. Things come out when one is intoxicated. It is suppose to be a comfortable environment."Posted by Pandora101It was girls night at my house, which entails drinks and "Strawberry Cough" lol. Things come out when one is intoxicated. It is suppose to be a comfortable environment.Posted by Pandora101Edit: come to think of it, it was rude as well of the girl to confess to her one night stand before strangers and put you in a difficult positionPosted by shakedown"Its one of those things where they know each other through me. "Posted by Pandora101Its one of those things where they know each other through me. So I am friends with both of them. They only know each other because I am friends with both of them. They do not speak on a regular basis. If we go to a concert, they see each other. If we have dinner, they see each other. Etc.Posted by shakedown"Ugh. I try very hard not to judge. After all, we are all imperfect. I love both my friends, but I think the judgmental girl is wrong and made the other girl feel bad about herselfPosted by Pandora101Posted by shakedownIn my opinion, a slut is a person, who is cheap in their (not only) sexual relationships - man or woman, the same
I had a few female friends come over for dinner and drinks last night. One of my friends revealed she had gone to a nightclub last week, met a guy and slept with him the same night. After revealing that information, another girl in the group stated, "I could never do such a thing. It is so immoral and slutty." Needless to say, an argument (not a debate) ensued.
In your opinion, what is a slut?
it doesnt matter if you sleep with 100 people or just 2.....
in your case: for the first reading, it seems like one friend is a pearl-clutching judgmental person, who accuses the other being a slut...... but, you said they are friends, so if you know each other for a long time, maybe the person, who called out the other knows she is cheap and pathetic..... or those female friends dont know each other? only you know, what went on
what is YOUR opinion on it?
Ugh. I try very hard not to judge. After all, we are all imperfect. I love both my friends, but I think the judgmental girl is wrong and made the other girl feel bad about herself
do these two friends of yours know each other? like for a long time? because it can alter, how they react to each others confessions and reactions
the thing is, if the girl, who had a one night stand, is a normal person, she would never feel bad about herself, just because some other narrow-minded friend said, she would never do it... I hope she got a back-up from other normal friends in your group..... or you all let this person sink and the judgemental girl have a feeling she is right in her ivory tower? she sounds boring, tbh.
I see.....
it was very rude of the other friend to be judgemental, but if this is her beleife, okey.... how the others react to her confession and the other friends reaction?
maybe keep them apart, it seems they are not compatible.... (maybe they would be compatible, it depends, how the reactions in your group went.... so who sided with who? did you defend her? or just let it go and change the conversation? - maybe that is why you feel bad for that girl, that nobody defended her in that moment? its hard to handle and juggle several different types of friends, who dont know each other intimately
on the other hand, maybe the "judgemental" girl was not judgemental at all, just said, that she would never do it and she ment it.... I can imagine this scenerio, if I would gather together my female friends from different settings
just invite them separately, if it causes problems
Exactly.... and the host should garant it
what I want to know: did anybody defend the girl, who confessed to that one night stand, on the spot? so discussion about the topic (what you consider a slut) can ensue? And the rich judgemental girl can feel comfortable enough to reveal, what is behind all her uptite reaction? maybe next time...... and I was wrong, you should invite them to yours again, like nothing happened, so the judgemental girl (who was uptite) and the confessing girl (who evidently doesnt know how to behave with strangers for the first time) would meet again.... evidently, there is an attraction, so good job bring them together...... I think they can take something from the other, and its beneficialclick to expand
you sound like a good and very sound person, who is stressed about that all evening...... just try to act, as if nothing happened..... if you get together again, be assured, it will get into this again..... but the next time you will be more prepared, dont worry
is this uptite girl your boss or co-worker? I can imagine, how you must feel, if merging your working and friend environment together..... but, they feel embarassed as well, so you just act as nothing happened and it was a cool evening
dont stress over it, maybe if you meet them in person, be like "hope we can get together again next time, its refreshing to see different opinions... or not? did you feel, it was awkward?" (or something like that.... how you feel about it?)
Yeh just like that
Once you have the birthtime you'll feel sooooo powerful muhaha
Posted by Toti10/17/58Posted by tctaoPosted by Sooner_or_LaterThey do and they can be great - our friendship over the years was sister like. I don't know if it would be the other placements or just the need to direct unresolved anger at "something". I only know that she is Libra sun. And again, I don't believe they are all like this.Posted by TotiI've had some awesome connections with Libra men to be honest! They're fun, easy-going and really chill. Dated a few.
Libras just appear balanced, flirty and fabulous. Once they have you, the hell doors open. Sun signs aside, you shouldn't accept that treatment from anyone. I, as a Scorpio, never really had good connection with libras,female or male.
But Libra women on the other hand, I have to agree! Never felt a strong connection (friendship) to any of them - bu they are generous souls, and have a great capacity for kindness.
To me, things should be hashed out right away and then left to just blow over. Holding on to things and making snide comments in front of me that I have to try to ignore which she's smiling at me and wanting me to visit her and all. LOL, no thank you. Actually, I honestly think it was part jealousy but she never had a reason to be jealous of me but that was her own hell not mine.
What year she was born and is she a September or October Libra?click to expand