Posted by DonAmanMarat
Mothers ARE the driving force behind these punishments: father gone to work, kid gone to school and guess who left to clean up behind em all?
Posted by Rabbit
Or the mother could be catfishing on DXP...
Posted by Rabbit
Garbage bags always work...
Posted by LetltB
Frustrated by his daughter's messy living habits, a Georgia soldier decided to teach her a lesson by moving all her belongings into the driveway of their house in Mustang Lane, near Savannah, while she was at school.
When the teenager came back home on Monday, she found all her things outside the house, including her bed, table, bookshelf and computer. Next to her possessions, the angry father left a sign that read, ???Haley, room moved to driveway. Clean it next time.??
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I don't agree with it. Humiliating a child isn't going to make them behave, and if it does it will simply be out of fear. She's been taught nothing.
My mother took the door off of the hinges to my bedroom once.....1) because my room was messy and 2) I was always in there (I loved my privacy and seclusion as a kid and also had a pesky little Taurus brother who always got in my stuff). My room was off the kitchen so with the door off, every body could see in. I was mortified. Not because it was messy....but because it was my personal space and it was now violated.
That just taught me to hide things better from my mother and everyone else.
When that didn't work, she would send me to their room for punishment (by myself) because I liked being in my room so much. That just pissed me off and I would destroy their things.....secretly.....and then hid them to find later.
I never harped on either of my boys about a dirty room. I felt I needed to pick my battles. With two sons...there are many. My virgo with the sag moon was a walking tornado who left messes wherever he went. As long as I could shut his door so I didn't have to look at it....we didn't fight about it. However, he was made to clean up every mess he made in every other part of the house....that was the agreement. Couldn't leave the house until his "trail" was removed. My Pisces was a mother's dream....libra moon, his room was always spotless. The only thing we ever argued about was him leaving the iron on, he was neurotic about ironing his clothes. Burnt the carpet once....left a real good imprint.
Trying to control your kids to do what you want....creates little adult control freaks later on. They are not your own personal robots.
There are much larger fish to fry.....sex, stds, drugs, guns, gangs, education, peer pressure, bullying, teaching independence.....a clean bedroom to your 'standards' hardly seems a priority in the big picture.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I don't agree with it. Humiliating a child isn't going to make them behave, and if it does it will simply be out of fear. She's been taught nothing.
My mother took the door off of the hinges to my bedroom once.....1) because my room was messy and 2) I was always in there (I loved my privacy and seclusion as a kid and also had a pesky little Taurus brother who always got in my stuff). My room was off the kitchen so with the door off, every body could see in. I was mortified. Not because it was messy....but because it was my personal space and it was now violated.
That just taught me to hide things better from my mother and everyone else.
When that didn't work, she would send me to their room for punishment (by myself) because I liked being in my room so much. That just pissed me off and I would destroy their things.....secretly.....and then hid them to find later.
I never harped on either of my boys about a dirty room. I felt I needed to pick my battles. With two sons...there are many. My virgo with the sag moon was a walking tornado who left messes wherever he went. As long as I could shut his door so I didn't have to look at it....we didn't fight about it. However, he was made to clean up every mess he made in every other part of the house....that was the agreement. Couldn't leave the house until his "trail" was removed. My Pisces was a mother's dream....libra moon, his room was always spotless. The only thing we ever argued about was him leaving the iron on, he was neurotic about ironing his clothes. Burnt the carpet once....left a real good imprint.
Trying to control your kids to do what you want....creates little adult control freaks later on. They are not your own personal robots.
There are much larger fish to fry.....sex, stds, drugs, guns, gangs, education, peer pressure, bullying, teaching independence.....a clean bedroom to your 'standards' hardly seems a priority in the big picture.
Posted by DonAmanMarat.Well, its all good until they move YOUR stuff to the senior citizen home and then all you got left is small bit of memories and cold oatmeal in the morning.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I didn't say it was child abuse, LIB....you are putting words in my mouth.
I said it was probably humiliating for the daughter.
Can you imagine if the daughter was a water sign? That could be really traumatic.
Fire sign? Not so much and they would probably camp out right there on the driveway.
It's not cool, it's not funny, it's not creative at all. It's a controlling parent.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I didn't say it was child abuse, LIB....you are putting words in my mouth.
I said it was probably humiliating for the daughter.
Can you imagine if the daughter was a water sign? That could be really traumatic.
Fire sign? Not so much and they would probably camp out right there on the driveway.
It's not cool, it's not funny, it's not creative at all. It's a controlling parent.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
"Humiliation only causes "resentment" in alot of children. the child in the article is an HONOR student, and her few flaw is that she's messy?"
this ^^^^^^^^
...and the fact he posted it online.....priceless. smh.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
"Humiliation only causes "resentment" in alot of children. the child in the article is an HONOR student, and her few flaw is that she's messy?"
this ^^^^^^^^
...and the fact he posted it online.....priceless. smh.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
level the playing field? parenting is not a game.
they have too much shit in their room to the point of it becoming annoying because they don't clean it up....stop giving them more shit.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberryPosted by LetltBPosted by TwirlingStrawberry
"Humiliation only causes "resentment" in alot of children. the child in the article is an HONOR student, and her few flaw is that she's messy?"
this ^^^^^^^^
...and the fact he posted it online.....priceless. smh.
Yet you come here and brag about how you slap your kids around in the face and throw them out into the freezing cold. Really elle...stfu!
Brag?Slap my kids? That is news to me. You're reaching. I think I might have slapped one of my son's face, once when they were 17, after telling me "fuck you.". It's gonna happen. They were almost a foot taller than I am, I'm a single mother and I'll be damned if I'll be intimidated in my own home.
Yes, I threw a 20 and 22 year old (Grown ass MEN) out of my house for smoking weed in my house after clearly stating ahead of time that that wasn't acceptable.
Yes, I also threw an 18 year old out, who was not my child, because she was also doing the same thing.
Yes, they had a baby too, of which I had no legal right to keep, according to the officers that were called.Yes, I am confident that they won't pull that shit on me again or anyone else, for that matter.
That is discipline.click to expand
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
Brag?
Slap my kids? That is news to me. You're reaching. I think I might have slapped one of my son's face, once when they were 17, after telling me "fuck you.". It's gonna happen. They were almost a foot taller than I am, I'm a single mother and I'll be damned if I'll be intimidated in my own home.
Yes, I threw a 20 and 22 year old (Grown ass MEN) out of my house for smoking weed in my house after clearly stating ahead of time that that wasn't acceptable.
Yes, I also threw an 18 year old out, who was not my child, because she was also doing the same thing.
Yes, they had a baby too, of which I had no legal right to keep, according to the officers that were called.
Yes, I am confident that they won't pull that shit on me again or anyone else, for that matter.
That is discipline.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberryPosted by LetltB
Upbringing...you can tell who has had one.
mighty high horse you have there, missy.click to expand
Posted by DonAmanMarat
I dont know what gives people the right to criticize a parent on how they raise their OWN children ..looks disgusting, really.
Posted by DonAmanMarat
I dont know what gives people the right to criticize a parent on how they raise their OWN children ..looks disgusting, really.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
@ LIB
when a 17 year old child decides to talk to you like they are grown they should be treated as if they are grown.
if a a 6foot, 175lb man gets in my face and is disrespectful, you bet your ass my hand will go right across his face without batting an eyelid. it's not acceptable to disrespect a woman in that manner, let alone your mother.
Kids are going to push boundaries, our job is to keep those boundaries in tact.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberryPosted by lisabethur8 we're not telling you how to raise your children...but why did they do what they did in the first place? Why did they rebel against you??? if they knew deep down it wasn't acceptable...why?
They weren't rebelling. It was not an act of rebellion. I don't believe that was the case. They got cocky.
Plus, I was enabling just a little bit too much at the time. I had been taking care of their child for the past three months while they were to get themselves together. They got a little too comfortable.
I've discussed this with all three of them in great lengths since it happened, which was well over a year ago. None of them can tell me exactly what the hell they were thinking, but all three have been openly remorseful for it.
I won't take the blame for their behavior and choices. I raised both of them to be independent and responsible for their own choices. That one was one of their worst, thus far, into their short lives.
All three of them have learned many valuable lessons from the choice they made that night and these lessons are much larger than me.click to expand
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I pity your son when he makes a mistake, LIB.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
basic parenting has nothing to do with the situation regarding the pot. there are a lot of outside influences you have no control over. it's about leading by example.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
All I know is when you start throwing around "I would never......." while sitting atop a fifty foot wooden horse....that's when you will be confronted with those scenarios. It's karma. Good luck with that.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
Posted by Andalusia
IDK.. I see both sides, guys.
I think the *main* thing when it comes to things like this is knowing your child.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I'm not wishing you anything bad, that's not my thing, LIB.
You obviously don't know how karma works.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
bad html ^^^
Posted by lisabethur8
thanks for that. I see how it could have happened.... they got spoiled a bit more from you. It still makes no excuse on their part. They took advantage of your generousity. They (i know it's not always the case) should always remember who they should respect and never take advantage of parent's generosity. They're lucky in a way to have you as a parent -- sorry to hear that they took it too far and took advantage of that. If only it wasn't so harsh sounding -- to have a baby out in the cold you know. I bet it broke your heart.
It did break my heart but it's all been reconciled. The baby is going on two years old and he's doing wonderful....as are the parents and my virgoI'm terribly proud of all them. This past year has brought them all numerous opportunities and they have really strived....and also have grown up substantially.They weren't 'out in the cold'....they had a place to go. My virgo son who came on dxp was riddled with guilt and really went over the top because he was very angry with me and with himself. I was pretty hard on him that night...as him being the oldest, I felt he should have spoken up well before the joint was even lit. He blamed himself for a few months afterwards.
That night, he left well before the police showed up and they escorted the other two out with the baby. They were taken to one of her friends house and her parents came to pick them up the next day...from my house. I allowed them to gather their things and wait for her parents to arrive.
Her father was also very supportive in my decision.click to expand
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
whatever floats your boat.
you still didn't quite get it, but that's fine.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
do you want a trophy?
all I'm saying is I pity your child/ren when they make a mistake because it's quite clear that you won't be all that understanding and able to practice empathy.
sometimes you sound like you are raising soldiers, not human beings.
I've learned as soon as I start judging others and getting all holier than though.....I'm thrown into similar circumstances that teach my ass a lesson.
as far as I'm concerned, THAT is karma.
Posted by Astrobyn
I find it perplexing how much effort people put into defending themselves.
Posted LetltBPosted by TwirlingStrawberry
I pity your son when he makes a mistake, LIB.
Give examples of mistakes. I'll be happy to share what I would do elle.click to expand
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
funny thing is, LIB....I wasn't knocking you at all....not until you started with the "parent of the year" crap. No parent is perfect, including yourself.
This thread was about the parent in the article. Not you. Not me....*you* made it personal, as you always do with me.
You do nothing but project yourself and your piss poor behavior on to me.
You twist my words and make up stories constantly and I'm not the only one you do it to and I'm also not the only one who notices.
You are allowed to think whatever you like about me and I'm not paying for your respect by bending to your delusional self-importance will. That's never going to be me.
I'm glad things are good for you.
I am also the only person that has to own every decision I've ever made and will sit hear proudly, with absolutely no shame, and do so.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberryPosted by LetltB
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CHOICES AND ACTIONS OR I WILL HUMILIATE YOU IN FRONT OF EVERYONE UNTIL YOU BEND TO MY WILL. Upbringing is everything.
*fixed itclick to expand
Posted by munchkin
For curiosity's sake, what would you do if you had a 5 year old who learned curse words at school, and keeps saying them to you even though you're constantly explaining that they're not OK to say?
Posted by munchkin
Anyone notice how it seems to invariably be Southern dads proactively disciplining their kids?
Posted by LetltBPosted by munchkin
For curiosity's sake, what would you do if you had a 5 year old who learned curse words at school, and keeps saying them to you even though you're constantly explaining that they're not OK to say?
Dealt with this with my step-daughter. Her mother (nut job) thought it would be cute to teach her that when she lost custody. Her father and I both tried to reward her for NOT cursing, and when that did not work, she went right into counseling. Fixed in two sessions.click to expand
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
Posted by LetltBPosted by Astrobyn
I find it perplexing how much effort people put into defending themselves.
Hey Robyn...I have not missed you at all and you too have zilch respect from me. But since you jumped your ass in here...why not tell us who that was directed at? So it can be answered.click to expand
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