Not Built For College?
This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by LillyPetal on Saturday, December 5, 2015 and has 18 replies.
Fall semester is almost over. I don't like that I cannot seem to commit to the courses I register for. I have narrowed this semester down to just three courses, but I ended up fixating on one course and letting the other two crash and burn. This semester, I have been obsessed with chemistry. I am the top student in class, and I would literally have aches before a test and then agonize after a test. I have received 98% on all of my in-class tests and my chemistry lab practical. The last test was by far my worst. I got all of the open-ended calculation problems correct (prompting the professor the draw a smiley on the page), but I screwed up the multiple-choice pH questions. I got an 86% . I approached my professor and asked if I could drop that test grade (turns out I misunderstood the rule on dropping one in-class test.) My professor looked at me incredulously, "You have nothing to worry about. I'm telling you. You're a perfectionist aren't you?" "That's my worst grade yet, and now I am concerned about pH, hydronium, and hydroxide questions." He was exasperated and swatted me in the head with my test paper. I went over the concept with him, so I can now visualize it better. My overall class grade is 96% . If I don't screw up the final, I hope to pass with an A.
In my math course, I have essentially been sleep-walking through it. I am taking it online for the first time, and the professor got so frustrated with reminding me about the missed deadlines (and my asking her to reopen the tests so that I may complete them) that she just gave up on locking me out and said I just had better make sure I get all the work finished by December 11th. When I dread doing something, I simply don't do it. I have completed all of the homework now, but have 4 chapter tests and the final to do. If I'm lucky, I may walk away with an A- or B+. I hate B's, but I am aware that I am lucky to get even that as I should have been failed out ages ago. I think my early test scores gave my professor the impression that I should be performing better that I have.
In my math course, I have essentially been sleep-walking through it. I am taking it online for the first time, and the professor got so frustrated with reminding me about the missed deadlines (and my asking her to reopen the tests so that I may complete them) that she just gave up on locking me out and said I just had better make sure I get all the work finished by December 11th. When I dread doing something, I simply don't do it. I have completed all of the homework now, but have 4 chapter tests and the final to do. If I'm lucky, I may walk away with an A- or B+. I hate B's, but I am aware that I am lucky to get even that as I should have been failed out ages ago. I think my early test scores gave my professor the impression that I should be performing better that I have.
The easiest course for me (technical writing) is ironically the course I am in most danger of failing. If it weren't for my professor suggesting he and I both sign an 'Incomplete grade' form so that I may get an extra month to finish everything I didn't complete, I would have failed that course. I had asked my professor for an Honors Contract whereby I may earn Honors credit for the coursework because I was growing increasingly restless in class. The topics were much too easy for me, and I could feel myself getting irritable. My professor initially denied me because he felt I had too much on my plate - I am the newly elected Editor-in-Chief of the college paper. But he was never that supportive of the contract idea because I believe he didn't know what the procedure was and he seemed disinterested in finding out. I approached him again about it, and he conceded, but he dumped all responsibility in my lap, and I was left with no support. He even asked that I not come to class anymore; he said that he and I could just meet before class. I have run into a few of my classmates and they made comments expressing resentment towards me. Anyway, I had this concept in mind that I was really invested in, and I was going to do both an empirical research study and a feasibility report on the topic. I was then going to create a powerpoint to accompany my presentation. The Professor added extra tasks he wanted me to complete, but never offered any guidance, even after I asked.
To top it off, my advisor for the college paper has not been the most supportive in helping me complete administrative work. He reassured me that it wasn't important and that he would "take the heat" for not completing it. That was not how it panned out: The head of student affairs essentially took out her frustrations on me, yelling and telling me off as to why these tasks haven't gotten done. I explained that I am new to the position, and that I am still learning. I wrote to my advisor telling him what happened and he responded that he could understand if I wanted to tell him "I told you so" and if I was mad at him. Weeks later, and we are still in the same position, but the newspaper is up an running a bit better. Fast forward, and the head of student affairs approaches me, in front of everyone, and tells me off. She instructs me to stop covering a campus event that I was recording at the moment, and told me that whatever footage I had obtained cannot be used. I reminded her that I did receive her permission, and she denied it and told me that I can "get my little interviews but that's it." I was livid and dis-heartened.
To top it off, my advisor for the college paper has not been the most supportive in helping me complete administrative work. He reassured me that it wasn't important and that he would "take the heat" for not completing it. That was not how it panned out: The head of student affairs essentially took out her frustrations on me, yelling and telling me off as to why these tasks haven't gotten done. I explained that I am new to the position, and that I am still learning. I wrote to my advisor telling him what happened and he responded that he could understand if I wanted to tell him "I told you so" and if I was mad at him. Weeks later, and we are still in the same position, but the newspaper is up an running a bit better. Fast forward, and the head of student affairs approaches me, in front of everyone, and tells me off. She instructs me to stop covering a campus event that I was recording at the moment, and told me that whatever footage I had obtained cannot be used. I reminded her that I did receive her permission, and she denied it and told me that I can "get my little interviews but that's it." I was livid and dis-heartened.
I went into avoidance mode. That's what I call it. It's when I shut down and go inside my own head. I wrote to my newspaper advisor explaining to him why I felt like quitting (instead of talking to me about it, he just accosted me and said "Are you in or out? It's find if you're out, but I need to know. E-mail me later." I stopped meeting my communications professor before class, I stopped Zumba, I cancelled work...My professor wrote me asking why I haven't been meeting him. I feel ashamed because I asked for this honors contract and I am showing that I didn't deserve it. I feel as though I can only really handle one course at a time because I get obsessive and fixated on one thing, and then I bury myself in it.
Anyone else like this? What might I do to alter my behavior?
Anyone else like this? What might I do to alter my behavior?
I didn't read it all but ..This is me seriously. I actually got on academic probation and banned from adding classes because I was doing so poorly. I would say only take on one class until you feel that you're ready.
Posted by Arielle83
See the school psychologist.
Unfortunately, my campus doesn't have one.
Posted by Magenta_Azure
I didn't read it all but ..This is me seriously. I actually got on academic probation and banned from adding classes because I was doing so poorly. I would say only take on one class until you feel that you're ready.
I would love to simply try one semester with just one course, but I am part of the work-study program which is basically a way to earn financial aid through working a job on campus. In order to be eligible, I need to at least be part-time.
I already had to appeal once because I went into avoidance mode, and I just stopped going to classes. My professors sent me e-mails asking after me, but I just couldn't bring myself to communicate with them. I ended up with a W and two F's. The chemistry class that I am currently doing was one of the F's I got. That meant I had a failing GPA for that semester, and I was no longer eligible to work on campus as part of work-study. I had to write an essay to appeal so that I could continue working.
An A in one class doesn't translate to being a well-rounded student. Switch over to a community college and take a few classes until you figure out what you want to do. You're lucky that your professors have even reached out to remind you.
Posted by bawlikestogomoo
An A in one class doesn't translate to being a well-rounded student. Switch over to a community college and take a few classes until you figure out what you want to do. You're lucky that your professors have even reached out to remind you.
I'm pretty sure she is aware of that. Hence the thread.
Posted by Arielle83Posted by LillyPetalPosted by Arielle83
See the school psychologist.
Unfortunately, my campus doesn't have one.
Your courses and grades are the most important. Focus on that and don't take on any extra stuff until it's under control.
I managed a restaurant while in uni and did my classes and tutorials, talked to my profs and then did the work.
I didn't have time for extra curricular stuff or friends. Only on school breaks did I chill with friends oh plus I took extra courses in summer. You're taking too much on.click to expand
It seems you took on much and were able to handle it. When I explained to the head of student activities that I have a lot going on, and that that is why I haven't completed all she expects of me, she went on a rant about Jane and Joe and how much they have on their plates and how they are able to take care of their duties in their respective clubs.
I hate being compared, and when people make those comments, it does not encourage me. In my mind, all it does is remind me of my inadequacy and short-coming. I'm left thinking, "If they can do it, why can't I?"
Posted by YourFavoriteDXPMemberPosted by LillyPetal
I went into avoidance mode. That's what I call it. It's when I shut down and go inside my own head. I wrote to my newspaper advisor explaining to him why I felt like quitting (instead of talking to me about it, he just accosted me and said "Are you in or out? It's find if you're out, but I need to know. E-mail me later." I stopped meeting my communications professor before class, I stopped Zumba, I cancelled work...My professor wrote me asking why I haven't been meeting him. I feel ashamed because I asked for this honors contract and I am showing that I didn't deserve it. I feel as though I can only really handle one course at a time because I get obsessive and fixated on one thing, and then I bury myself in it.
Anyone else like this? What might I do to alter my behavior?
The best advice I can give you is as follows:
1.) Never, ever quit. Period. I don't care if you are having a hard time with the classes, keep going to the very end and do your best on the exams. Miracles can and will happen, but you have to put in the effort to take the tests.
2.) Make sure that you are getting plenty of rest, exercise and proper nutrition.
3.) Don't spend your time with losers, and instead focus on building relationships with quality human beings who provide positive energy to you.
4.) You have to maintain a regular and constant relationship with your teachers, especially with regard to any classes that you are struggling with.
5.) Check in with the school counselor for additional support if you feel it is necessary to make the other 4 items on this list a reality.
Good luck, God speed, and remember that January starts a new semester for additional opportunities and new progress developments.click to expand
Thank you, Ray. I begin the semester off in such positive spirits, and then I begin to mentally decline. My campus doesn't offer a counselor, and I'm not sure about how I feel about seeking one out. Honestly, I know my behavior isn't normal. I think I'm socially retarded.
Posted by Arielle83Posted by LillyPetalPosted by Arielle83Posted by LillyPetalPosted by Arielle83
See the school psychologist.
Unfortunately, my campus doesn't have one.
Your courses and grades are the most important. Focus on that and don't take on any extra stuff until it's under control.
I managed a restaurant while in uni and did my classes and tutorials, talked to my profs and then did the work.
I didn't have time for extra curricular stuff or friends. Only on school breaks did I chill with friends oh plus I took extra courses in summer. You're taking too much on.
It seems you took on much and were able to handle it. When I explained to the head of student activities that I have a lot going on, and that that is why I haven't completed all she expects of me, she went on a rant about Jane and Joe and how much they have on their plates and how they are able to take care of their duties in their respective clubs.
I hate being compared, and when people make those comments, it does not encourage me. In my mind, all it does is remind me of my inadequacy and short-coming. I'm left thinking, "If they can do it, why can't I?"
I avoided student activities. I just went to class and left unless I had group work or to talk to a prof. I was antisocial. Just school and work. It was only way I couldn't distract myself.click to expand
The reason I ran for Editor-in-Chief of the paper was to try and do something that would counter my a-social disposition. You say you hung out with friends only on weekends, but I don't have that. I figured that if I was in a leadership position, I would need to interact with people and I would be put in positions where I need to network and represent the paper. If I relinquish my position with the newspaper, my life will be study, work, my solo activities of reading/documentaries/foreign films/art/etc. and repeat. I had been doing that prior to this semester, and my agenda this fall was to "be more social." I do Zumba, and I try to use that as an outlet to express myself as well as to interact a bit. No distractions is the motto I tell myself, but I feel imbalanced.
Posted by Ands2016
lily needs a life coach!
Can we add this to the DXP voting pool? I nominate Ands.
Posted by candycloudsPosted by LillyPetal
I went into avoidance mode. That's what I call it. It's when I shut down and go inside my own head. I wrote to my newspaper advisor explaining to him why I felt like quitting (instead of talking to me about it, he just accosted me and said "Are you in or out? It's find if you're out, but I need to know. E-mail me later." I stopped meeting my communications professor before class, I stopped Zumba, I cancelled work...My professor wrote me asking why I haven't been meeting him. I feel ashamed because I asked for this honors contract and I am showing that I didn't deserve it. I feel as though I can only really handle one course at a time because I get obsessive and fixated on one thing, and then I bury myself in it.
Anyone else like this? What might I do to alter my behavior?
Look. Girl. Calm down…
I'm the girl who had straight As in high school and who was all over the place in the first year of college. I wanted to drop out, I questioned everything, even life !
Anyways, perfectionist + emotional = I get it.
College is not the same as high school. You have many responsibilities. It's going to be tough. It IS tough. People will no longer be so tolerant.
It's because you have to slowly become an adult now. You have to stop giving emotional reactions to everything, you have to keep your perfectionist tendencies in check and instead make yourself a good schedule that takes care of all of your responsibilities and class work and house chores and sports activity.
Again, college is indeed the starting point of your work life. No matter how high your grades are, or how much you love something, you have to be tough against any kind of resistance.
Don't quit anything , any job or activity. Keep going no matter what, no matter how certain things in your life are bringing you down at that point or no matter how many mistakes you made.. That's the key to success, happiness, money and everything else !!! There is no way out, no way around. This is life for pretty much everyone,not just you. Stay dedicated to your activities and school work, even more than your friends, because most of your friends will be out of your daily life in a few years, and thats when you want to start your real life with a great job, the car you want, the house you want, and hang out wherever you want. You are building your own life with the work, sports and other stuff you are doing right now.
So don't let go of anything, get yourself back together and get back to work. Remember, college doesn't last forever. Take it seriously and slowly learn how to become an adult, and be responsible for the choices you make.click to expand
Can you adopt me
Posted by candyclouds
sure
Yay!!
Posted by Ands2016
you remind me of max fischer from rushmore.
And you once called me Sheldon Cooper from 'The Big Bang Theory.' Who's next, Ands? Urkel?
Posted by Ands2016Posted by LillyPetalPosted by Ands2016
you remind me of max fischer from rushmore.
And you once called me Sheldon Cooper from 'The Big Bang Theory.' Who's next, Ands? Urkel?
what's wrong with max?
i don't remember calling you sheldon i've never watched big bang theory.click to expand
I don't watch the BBT either. It was never aired where I used to live, so I missed the BBT boat. Maybe it wasn't Sheldon, but it was another character on a sitcom, and I'm positive it was you you said it.
I finished my chemistry final today. I handed in my paper and thanked the professor. "You're welcome. Good job this semester. You're a hard worker."
"Thank you. I love chemistry."
"Well, psssht, you're GOOD at it! Keep it up."
I feel good. It'l be a couple of days before I get my final grade. Here's to an A. I killed myself for it this semester. On another note, I think my professor is a fire sign.
"Thank you. I love chemistry."
"Well, psssht, you're GOOD at it! Keep it up."
I feel good. It'l be a couple of days before I get my final grade. Here's to an A. I killed myself for it this semester. On another note, I think my professor is a fire sign.
Posted by Arielle83
I'm going back to uni once my residency goes thru and doing a m.a. In environmental science.
I've already told my husband I'm going to need time to concentrate and focus. I used to study with ear plugs to block out everything. Hahaha
That's exciting. While my major is in biology and chemistry, I did take an environmental science course, and I loved it. It sounds like you have an A-team ready to get your back.
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