Up In Smoke... You Got Ghosted....

This topic was created in the Personal Development forum by GemCurioThe1 on Thursday, September 17, 2020 and has 16 replies.

GemCurioThe1

@GemCurioThe1

Signed Up: Aug 11, 2020
Comments: 10 · Posts: 408 · Topics: 49

So, you got ghosted and now you’re wondering why??? Well, I’m going to give 5 reasons that should be fully understood of without words why you got ghosted on. Being a Virgo, I have ghosted many people in my life and continue to do so because some things just aren’t worth discussing... Let’s review some of the reasons right now…

#1 Too Many Red Flags-

In modern society, you can use your smartphone to study anything you want. Some people play video games and watch Instagram. Some of us study people. Anyone who has established themselves have no time to risk what they have earned on someone mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, or chemically imbalanced. In every response you give to questions, in the situation you are currently in regarding your personal life, in your emotions or lack thereof all tell a story that is you. Some women do a background check on men to see if they have a bad history. Us men will invite you to dinner or lunch and listen to you about your life, how you speak, your mannerisms, and what are the priorities on your mind. This will reveal everything we need to know about you without any deep investment on our part. Many people do not feel like building a person up just to possibly lose them to immaturity and lack of personal growth in the past. Hence, Exit stage right…

#2 Emotional Imbalance-

Fun fact. People who seem to be the most balanced have the fiercest emotional responses. When you are emotionally compromised a monster comes out who is doesn’t reason or rationalize. You carry a mask of someone who has it together but underneath the surface there’s a wilder beast that is very cruel in words and actions. Once this is visible, why would anyone stick around with an untamed animal??

#3 Poor Communication-

If you are always right, that’s a reason to get out of there in itself. For the record everyone is always right in their own mind, but that’s no reason for you to act like repeating what you are saying consistently, raising your voice, or ignoring the question being asked to you makes you right or rational in any form. Communication is so important especially in the beginning. We all possess our own beliefs, thoughts, and feelings, but that doesn’t make any particular thought or feeling right more than some other persons. The ability to exchange ideas freely, and actually respond to questions instead of avoiding them by adding questions, will get you more time with the person trying to communicate with you. The inability to do this shows not only a lack of self-expression, but also personal development and this is visible through conversations. That’s why many people will get a single date, a follow up phone call, and a Houdini Act…

#4 Lack of Maturity- Your level of maturity is visible within your life style . Your priorities are visible in the things you purchase and display which are the definitive of you. Whether you like it or not. The way you speak, the way you dress, the way your hair looks, your makeup or lack thereof, the company you keep, your demeanor, and your responses to stimuli in the world are all displays of your maturity level and what you’re all about. People often say, “Don’t judge me” or “You don’t know me” but without any conversation necessary, you are what you do. Your actions or lack thereof speak for you volumes. Your priorities, goals, and the cycles you continue in your life show paints a picture of you more accurate than anything you could ever explain, and for that reason, some of you truly shouldn’t be focusing on dating.

#5 Broken Without Remedy-

I’m calling you broken but the world will call you toxic. You allow the hurt from your past to torment the people who want a future with you. There is no future living in the past regardless of whether you are still hurting or not. Be single!!! You need to heal yourself so that you are capable of loving yourself. Then you can receive love. No relationship can define you, and no past behaviors worked for you. Those behaviors are the reasons you’re single right now. There is a timeframe necessary to heal yourself, learn to like your own company, love yourself again, and freely enjoy your own life so that you can not only give positivity but receive positivity in a nurturing way. Many people who may have loved you deeply had to walk away because you were “guarded” a.k.a. incapable of giving or receiving love. You are allowing your past to kill your future and most suitors are certain that they weren’t the first to fail at being able to touch your heart. And to be 100% honest, there are far too many single people to invest a vast amount of time and effort to build you from the ground up. Very few people are willing to give love like that freely. Especially if you just met.

Bonus Reason to be Ghosted-

#6 Not the Alpha-

Let’s be honest people. Guys may have a couple girls they are juggling but women will often have football teams. Sometimes you will not look like the best option for a person. It’s not a reflection on you at all. It’s a reflection of the mindset of that person at the time. Chinese Food is good AF. That doesn’t mean that everybody likes Chinese Food. Some people might like pizza more, or lamb or crab or steak. Either way, understand that sometimes it has nothing to do with you. Only the mindset of that person and what they are looking for at that time in their lives. Everybody is not going to like you and you’re not going to like everybody either. We’re all here trying to figure this out together. Relax…

So, understand that if you ever been ghosted in the past, there can be many factors at play as to why this happened to you. We cannot control people or things in this life, but we can control ourselves. There are many more reasons why people will ghost you, but understand some of those reasons can be worked on with some soul searching, and others have nothing to do with you at all. Seeing ourselves clearly when this occurs should be the actual objective. Not placing emphasis on the fact we got ghosted...

Comments are welcome.. Thanks people….

Up In Smoke... You Got Ghosted....

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