whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
8 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
haha. got it.
Do Pisces like many people at the same time? (Page 2)
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haha. got it.
Posted by Infinite8Thanks for sharing your experience 🙂Posted by whatisthisallaboutFrom what I've noticed:
I hung out withe Pisces yesterday. He got A Lot of incoming messages. He tried not to check his phone too frequently but still... =.=
Pisces with moon in: Aqua, Sag, Pisces - yes, like many at same time.
Pisces with moon in: Scorpio and Leo - NO.
This is just from my experience and what I have seen with my friends, though...
click to expand
Posted by SalamanderCandyI guess for some, they interpret intial infatuation as "being in love".
But in all seriousness,
whenever I hear "you can't like more than one person at once"
is like hearing,
"I only poop butterflies!"
Of course you can fancy more than one person. But the degree of your crush can vary.
Also, when I'm in a relationship,
I am as loyal
as possible.
But I can also understand how someone saying they're "in love" to multiple people in a short period time can be really..really annoying.
Like this one guy who claimed to be "in love" with me
after meeting me the first day.
I understand chemistry can make that happen,
but I could tell this guy was just needy.
All in all, there's two sides in a coin.
The Pisces I met said he's very loyal when he's in a relationship.
However, since we are not in that stage yet, I can't blame him for having many crushes...
Posted by cvurko🤗Posted by whatisthisallaboutIm glad i can help and wish you a lot of loveee ^^Posted by cvurkoThank you! This is very helpful!Posted by whatisthisallaboutYeah, i cant speak for him but normally if smb breaks my heart or hurts me its game over for me. I move on pretty easily. (To decide to move on is the hard part for me)Posted by cvurkoHe has told me he likes me... but how if an old flame comes back?Posted by whatisthisallaboutIt doesnt matter how much i know the person if i like them. I have to know some stuff in order to get to like them though. But if i do, im fixed and dont think of others that way.Posted by cvurkoThat's good to know, thanks.Posted by Pisco^ What she said. But that depends on a lot of other influences so, as Pisco said, there are different Pisceans.
I don't, but I can't speak for everyone.
When I like someone, they are the only person I want to talk to and get to know.
Edit: Nah, i thought she was referring to romantic relationships.
If i am into smb i am fixed and can like only that person but i still continue communicating with a lot of people. If i see someone has interest in me i always tell them i am unavailable as soon as i feel there might be something on their side.
Oh, and i check my phone a lot because a lot of ppl are writing but when i am with someone i try to be polite and dont touch my phone.
How if you like someone but you are just getting to know each other?
I know a girl broke his heart not too long ago before we met. He was really into her but she didn't want a relationship. I think he didn't talk to her as much after we met, but how if she changed her mind and wanted to give it a shot? Hypothetically, if it was you, what would you do? 😕
And im very picky as well so if i find a trait i really dislike and is against my principles i instantly stop liking the person.click to expand
Posted by WonderWoman14Thanks! I have another question. I know there's this girl just broke his heart not too long ago before we met.
After we met, I think he didn't talk to her as much. She didn't want a relationship.
What do you think he'd do if she decided that she changed her mind and wanted to date him now?
I suspect that she didn't want to date him because she knew he was very into her (too much for her). Now that he's not giving his full attention, maybe she'd want to date him now.
That's a tough one and male/female might view things differently. Also break his heart? How is that possible when they weren't even dating?
If someone wanted me back suddenly because they weren't getting my attention I wouldn't be interested. I don't need anyone, I want them. If I feel it's not reciprocated I'll walk away. I'm at an age where I won't settle for less than I deserve.
Mmmm I don't want to be negative but really all will boil down to who he likes more. Because Pisces are usually forgiven, so if she broke his heart while not being in actual relashionship he might think that it was his own fault that he let his emotions get the best of him and as a result could give her a chance. But on a side not if he is spending time with you and you can see that your and his conections are getting deeper he will pick you not only because of his feelings but also because of genuine respect. I know in the past I had few times when I had to say to old flames that reapeared in my life that sorry I am not available our time passed or haven't come yet 🙂 So you should just be you and be with him. If he will feel genuine care and love and warmth from you I am sure he will be with you 🙂
I guess he felt heart-broken because he thought evenfully she'd want a relationship with him. I think they were in a FWB situation. He had true feelings for her, but she was not over someone else so she didn't want to committ... I appreciate that you shared your perspective 🙂
Maybe it's an age thing, how old is this guy? There's a difference between lust and love.
Posted by whatisthisallaboutGood morning,Posted by EvatheDivaThanks for the affirmation, Eva!Posted by RoanaRoana is spot on! 😎 That's why we Pisceans (women) do NOT sleep with our "friends"; even exes. I am NOT friendly w/any of my exes since I don't want them in my life. 🤗 cyber hugs!
Well I can't speak for all Pisces, but I know that for some (me included) and some male friends who are Pisces it's pretty simple. If I am not in a relashionship and we are just on we are getting to know each other phase than I will talk with other people too. Now if the person that I am talking to is somewhat special even if I am not in relashionship with him) than I won't stop talking to other people, but my tone with them will change - no flirting, just friendly banter. If I am in relashionship than I will let them know that and will show that I am for sure not available.
Granted there is a chance that he does like you and you are special to him, but he had those people in his life before he met you, so he will remain friendly (not in a sexual way) with them, and therefore you will see him getting messages and so on 🙂 But if Pisces genuinly are interested in you trust me you will be their priority, and they will value you over those other people.
But know that never ask Pisces to cut ties with anyone, we usually bring people into our lives for many reasons, so sometimes by asking us to cut ties with people is like telling a doctor to drop a patient (as bad as that sounds we usually have a lot of people in our lives that we are healing even if we are not realising it).
I know from my own experience and from my male friends that when they become interested in someone they no longer feel attraction to other people. So alot of times when pisces say we are just friends it really does mean we are just friends 🙂
So don't overwork yourself and see if he prioritises you over other people. if he does than you can be calm about it 🙂 He likes you and others are just on friendly terms.
Love,
Eva
What would you do if you met someone new but an old flame came back and wanted to work things out?click to expand
Simple. See the same post I left you. I've NEVER had a guy come back asking for a second chance. Right away when I have a relationship with someone we "talk". This is one of the topics I discuss w/them and in the end, they know not to bother me. What else is a woman to do after she blocks him on FB and cell? True story: I went to POF last year and my ex-Saggy bf was there. He sent me a message and I BLOCKED him on POF after I deleted the message. His loss; another guy's gain. In other words too, "I've already had him and I want someone 'new' in my life".
Cyber hugs! 🤗
Love,
Eva
Posted by RoanaThat's a tough one and male/female might view things differently. Also break his heart? How is that possible when they weren't even dating?Posted by WonderWoman14Thanks! I have another question. I know there's this girl just broke his heart not too long ago before we met.
After we met, I think he didn't talk to her as much. She didn't want a relationship.
What do you think he'd do if she decided that she changed her mind and wanted to date him now?
I suspect that she didn't want to date him because she knew he was very into her (too much for her). Now that he's not giving his full attention, maybe she'd want to date him now.
If someone wanted me back suddenly because they weren't getting my attention I wouldn't be interested. I don't need anyone, I want them. If I feel it's not reciprocated I'll walk away. I'm at an age where I won't settle for less than I deserve.
Mmmm I don't want to be negative but really all will boil down to who he likes more. Because Pisces are usually forgiven, so if she broke his heart while not being in actual relashionship he might think that it was his own fault that he let his emotions get the best of him and as a result could give her a chance. But on a side not if he is spending time with you and you can see that your and his conections are getting deeper he will pick you not only because of his feelings but also because of genuine respect. I know in the past I had few times when I had to say to old flames that reapeared in my life that sorry I am not available our time passed or haven't come yet 🙂 So you should just be you and be with him. If he will feel genuine care and love and warmth from you I am sure he will be with you 🙂
click to expand
This is very reassuring! Yea, I would want someone who thinks I am good enough from the get-go too 🙂
Posted by WonderWoman14I guess he felt heart-broken because he thought evenfully she'd want a relationship with him. I think they were in a FWB situation. He had true feelings for her, but she was not over someone else so she didn't want to committ... I appreciate that you shared your perspective 🙂
Maybe it's an age thing, how old is this guy? There's a difference between lust and love.
he's 28.
Posted by EvatheDivaI really like your attitudes towards men. That's awesome.Posted by whatisthisallaboutGood morning,Posted by EvatheDivaThanks for the affirmation, Eva!Posted by RoanaRoana is spot on! 😎 That's why we Pisceans (women) do NOT sleep with our "friends"; even exes. I am NOT friendly w/any of my exes since I don't want them in my life. 🤗 cyber hugs!
Well I can't speak for all Pisces, but I know that for some (me included) and some male friends who are Pisces it's pretty simple. If I am not in a relashionship and we are just on we are getting to know each other phase than I will talk with other people too. Now if the person that I am talking to is somewhat special even if I am not in relashionship with him) than I won't stop talking to other people, but my tone with them will change - no flirting, just friendly banter. If I am in relashionship than I will let them know that and will show that I am for sure not available.
Granted there is a chance that he does like you and you are special to him, but he had those people in his life before he met you, so he will remain friendly (not in a sexual way) with them, and therefore you will see him getting messages and so on 🙂 But if Pisces genuinly are interested in you trust me you will be their priority, and they will value you over those other people.
But know that never ask Pisces to cut ties with anyone, we usually bring people into our lives for many reasons, so sometimes by asking us to cut ties with people is like telling a doctor to drop a patient (as bad as that sounds we usually have a lot of people in our lives that we are healing even if we are not realising it).
I know from my own experience and from my male friends that when they become interested in someone they no longer feel attraction to other people. So alot of times when pisces say we are just friends it really does mean we are just friends 🙂
So don't overwork yourself and see if he prioritises you over other people. if he does than you can be calm about it 🙂 He likes you and others are just on friendly terms.
Love,
Eva
What would you do if you met someone new but an old flame came back and wanted to work things out?
Simple. See the same post I left you. I've NEVER had a guy come back asking for a second chance. Right away when I have a relationship with someone we "talk". This is one of the topics I discuss w/them and in the end, they know not to bother me. What else is a woman to do after she blocks him on FB and cell? True story: I went to POF last year and my ex-Saggy bf was there. He sent me a message and I BLOCKED him on POF after I deleted the message. His loss; another guy's gain. In other words too, "I've already had him and I want someone 'new' in my life".
Cyber hugs! 🤗
Love,
Eva
click to expand
Posted by whatisthisallabout😏 🤗 cyber hugs!Posted by EvatheDivaI really like your attitudes towards men. That's awesome.Posted by whatisthisallaboutGood morning,Posted by EvatheDivaThanks for the affirmation, Eva!Posted by RoanaRoana is spot on! 😎 That's why we Pisceans (women) do NOT sleep with our "friends"; even exes. I am NOT friendly w/any of my exes since I don't want them in my life. 🤗 cyber hugs!
Well I can't speak for all Pisces, but I know that for some (me included) and some male friends who are Pisces it's pretty simple. If I am not in a relashionship and we are just on we are getting to know each other phase than I will talk with other people too. Now if the person that I am talking to is somewhat special even if I am not in relashionship with him) than I won't stop talking to other people, but my tone with them will change - no flirting, just friendly banter. If I am in relashionship than I will let them know that and will show that I am for sure not available.
Granted there is a chance that he does like you and you are special to him, but he had those people in his life before he met you, so he will remain friendly (not in a sexual way) with them, and therefore you will see him getting messages and so on 🙂 But if Pisces genuinly are interested in you trust me you will be their priority, and they will value you over those other people.
But know that never ask Pisces to cut ties with anyone, we usually bring people into our lives for many reasons, so sometimes by asking us to cut ties with people is like telling a doctor to drop a patient (as bad as that sounds we usually have a lot of people in our lives that we are healing even if we are not realising it).
I know from my own experience and from my male friends that when they become interested in someone they no longer feel attraction to other people. So alot of times when pisces say we are just friends it really does mean we are just friends 🙂
So don't overwork yourself and see if he prioritises you over other people. if he does than you can be calm about it 🙂 He likes you and others are just on friendly terms.
Love,
Eva
What would you do if you met someone new but an old flame came back and wanted to work things out?
Simple. See the same post I left you. I've NEVER had a guy come back asking for a second chance. Right away when I have a relationship with someone we "talk". This is one of the topics I discuss w/them and in the end, they know not to bother me. What else is a woman to do after she blocks him on FB and cell? True story: I went to POF last year and my ex-Saggy bf was there. He sent me a message and I BLOCKED him on POF after I deleted the message. His loss; another guy's gain. In other words too, "I've already had him and I want someone 'new' in my life".
Cyber hugs! 🤗
Love,
Eva
click to expand
Love,
Eva
Maybe it's an age thing, how old is this guy? There's a difference between lust and love.
he's 28.
I'd proceed with caution but don't shut yourself off until you know more.
Posted by whatisthisallaboutlolPosted by Piscouh oh. not looking good for me then 😭
I don't, but I can't speak for the everyone.
When I like someone, they are the only person I want to talk to and get to know.click to expand
Posted by WonderWoman14he's 28.
Maybe it's an age thing, how old is this guy? There's a difference between lust and love.
I'd proceed with caution but don't shut yourself off until you know more.
Thank you. I do notice that he initiated less contact now. Maybe someone else caught his attention or maybe he's talking to this other girl again 😢
Are you a Pisces?
Posted by NappTuneThanks for sharing your opinion on this.
I agree with the other Pisces. I don't do random hookups or sleep around with my friends it's just a huge no-no for me. Us Pisces can make many friends, because we don't discriminate on genders, race, etc. As long as the person is nice will be glad to have you as a friend.
So... how can I tell if I am friend-zoned?
We made plans to hang out tomorrow, but he initiates contact much less frequently now.
The only text I got from him today was "good morning. I am excited to see you tomorrow."
I think in the beginning it's prob 20-30 text a day 😢
Posted by ScrufflesWhat happened?!! 😱Posted by starwarsPosted by whatisthisallabout@scrufflesPosted by starwarsIs it true? 😱
"Pisces men are liars and can't be trusted" - Scruffles
Yes.
click to expand
Posted by DickButtdo you look like this guy in your profile pic?Posted by Infinite8Posted by DickButtMy...mouth...is...I WANT!!!!! Yes, yes, yes!!! It sounds YUMMMMMMMYYY!!!?Posted by Infinite8YEs to peppercorn BUT....BUT.... first course a light garden salad with a sweet yet tangy vinaigrette and lightly garlic buttered toast. Followed by a lemon sorbet pallet cleanser. Then an entree of fillet mignon 19 oz, spicy curly fries with a side of melted cheddar, and a scoop of garlic and chives mashed potato, another round of pallet cleansing this time with a mint sorbet, and for dessert, a triple layer chocolate cake with orange shavings on top.Posted by DickButtLol... a feast for kings ?! I'd be honored!Posted by Infinite8I'm hungry now. Would you like to share a steak? And by share i mean, destroy a platter for 10?Posted by DickButtI was just being silly and doing as you requested. I knew the answer already, though ?Posted by Infinite8People? No. Food? Absolutely.Posted by DickButtLol... Do you like many people at the same time Taureye?!? ?
Oo Ooo do taurus next
Would you like me to bring some peppercorn, béarnaise, wine and/or champagne ?!?! ?
Btw that was a real meal for me when i visited Old Quebec SO GOODclick to expand
Posted by DickButtHow do you tell the smiley is a guy or a girl? 😕Posted by whatisthisallaboutDo you look like this girl in your profile pic?Posted by DickButtdo you look like this guy in your profile pic?Posted by Infinite8Posted by DickButtMy...mouth...is...I WANT!!!!! Yes, yes, yes!!! It sounds YUMMMMMMMYYY!!!?Posted by Infinite8YEs to peppercorn BUT....BUT.... first course a light garden salad with a sweet yet tangy vinaigrette and lightly garlic buttered toast. Followed by a lemon sorbet pallet cleanser. Then an entree of fillet mignon 19 oz, spicy curly fries with a side of melted cheddar, and a scoop of garlic and chives mashed potato, another round of pallet cleansing this time with a mint sorbet, and for dessert, a triple layer chocolate cake with orange shavings on top.Posted by DickButtLol... a feast for kings ?! I'd be honored!Posted by Infinite8I'm hungry now. Would you like to share a steak? And by share i mean, destroy a platter for 10?Posted by DickButtI was just being silly and doing as you requested. I knew the answer already, though ?Posted by Infinite8People? No. Food? Absolutely.Posted by DickButtLol... Do you like many people at the same time Taureye?!? ?
Oo Ooo do taurus next
Would you like me to bring some peppercorn, béarnaise, wine and/or champagne ?!?! ?
Btw that was a real meal for me when i visited Old Quebec SO GOODclick to expand
Posted by ScrufflesHow dare him?! we should crucify the dude!Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by ScrufflesWhat happened?!! 😱Posted by starwarsPosted by whatisthisallabout@scrufflesPosted by starwarsIs it true? 😱
"Pisces men are liars and can't be trusted" - Scruffles
Yes.
There's no link to the hockey game in my inbox, that's what happened. 😐
@AfternoonDelights22
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Posted by ScrufflesPosted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by ScrufflesHow dare him?! we should crucify the dude!Posted by whatisthisallaboutPosted by ScrufflesPosted by starwarsPosted by whatisthisallabout@scrufflesPosted by starwarsIs it true? 😱
"Pisces men are liars and can't be trusted" - Scruffles
Yes.
Adorable! Love it!
What happened?!! 😱
There's no link to the hockey game in my inbox, that's what happened. 😐
@AfternoonDelights22
I agree. 🙂
One less Pisces man to worry about.
click to expand
Posted by Miamia13That's what I am worreid about 😆
All the Pisces men I know have been total man wh*res.
Love them as friends though.
Honestly? I do; and I would go even further by adding that non accepting a similar mindset, in case is strongly felt, might cause idealistic types to become, with time, even more idealistic.
I'll just provide with an example. Let's imagine both you and a very good friend of yours are in happy relationships and you find each other's partner attractive. So far so good, if it wasn't that you're not only finding them attractive but you crave them sexually as well, because well...they're hot. In the meantime, chances are, that being him one of your best friends, you have seen her partner quite often and have become friend with her as well. Therefore, it is very likely that in the process of getting to know her you have also developed a strong sexual pull towards her. Supposedly you two have great chemistry and she's someone you would date if both weren't taken.
Now, what I believe it needs to be debunked is the myth that "we're not supposed to crave friends sexually": it is an assumption that whichever way one spins it, it just doesn't make any sense if analysed. To me, to think in these terms simply goes against nature. Why so? Because good genes are good genes, and people look / are what they look / are no matter what. For instance, how odd would it be for someone to be friend let's say with a model - or more in general with an extremely attractive person - and not crave her/him even in the slightest form? I'd say very.
Actually it's not even that; what I find even more bothersome is when taken people, who would normally be / are sexually drawn to someone else naturally, start convincing themselves they are not because again... they're taken. They start attaching the label "friend" to anyone as a shield, like if lovers aren't, at the end of the day, friends as well...like if the people we surround ourselves with - the so called friends - don't almost all, and latently, possess qualities that are similar to those of our partners, if not the very same; simply because those are the sort of people we like.
A dichotomy has been created: the people we once found attractive - resembling in many ways our actual partner, even in their though process - have now become asexual entities because a split has occurred in one's head. On the one hand you've got your lover whom you crave badly and possibly obsess over; on the other you're surrounded with people who possess the same qualities, who sometimes happen to be attractive, but for some obscure reasons don't arouse you anymore because you have guilt tripped yourself into thinking it's gross... but why is it gross when they're the carbon copy of your partner? It remains a mystery.
Until you're in a relationship it's fine, but once you exit it? Here's when it becomes almost "tragic" for both genders - as I said before even more for types who are idealistic by nature. Obviously one's normally takes their time to recover, some need more some need less ( I don't believe there's a strict rule to follow here), but there will come a time when they want to re-enter one with the only / yet significant difference that physically attractive people don't turn them on because they are seen with "the eyes of a friend".
Therefore men become observers, they start playing films in their head and projecting. Since they have started looking at women (they once craved) asexually, they don't have stimuli, drive nor courage to pursue the person they like because they lack "the animal" that turns women on. They become scared and afraid of approaching new people, which is something that takes about 3 seconds for women to notice. The latter start alienating them due to them being insecure and not assertive, thus such men - just to be part of something - lower their standards and end up entering, out of desperation, relationships with other women to only later realize they don't really like them.
Women start living in denial, which is comprehensible considering that the attractive men they will meet, with whom in the past they would have slept with, are now perceived as friends in their mind. They're single, but again it's gross to be turned on by friends...thus they end up rejecting the very same men they actually like. Then they become moody, unbearable and, worst of all, bitter and hardly satisfiable: no one is ever enough, unicorns become their only option.
More projections on both sides.
I'll just provide with an example. Let's imagine both you and a very good friend of yours are in happy relationships and you find each other's partner attractive. So far so good, if it wasn't that you're not only finding them attractive but you crave them sexually as well, because well...they're hot. In the meantime, chances are, that being him one of your best friends, you have seen her partner quite often and have become friend with her as well. Therefore, it is very likely that in the process of getting to know her you have also developed a strong sexual pull towards her. Supposedly you two have great chemistry and she's someone you would date if both weren't taken.
Now, what I believe it needs to be debunked is the myth that "we're not supposed to crave friends sexually": it is an assumption that whichever way one spins it, it just doesn't make any sense if analysed. To me, to think in these terms simply goes against nature. Why so? Because good genes are good genes, and people look / are what they look / are no matter what. For instance, how odd would it be for someone to be friend let's say with a model - or more in general with an extremely attractive person - and not crave her/him even in the slightest form? I'd say very.
Actually it's not even that; what I find even more bothersome is when taken people, who would normally be / are sexually drawn to someone else naturally, start convincing themselves they are not because again... they're taken. They start attaching the label "friend" to anyone as a shield, like if lovers aren't, at the end of the day, friends as well...like if the people we surround ourselves with - the so called friends - don't almost all, and latently, possess qualities that are similar to those of our partners, if not the very same; simply because those are the sort of people we like.
A dichotomy has been created: the people we once found attractive - resembling in many ways our actual partner, even in their though process - have now become asexual entities because a split has occurred in one's head. On the one hand you've got your lover whom you crave badly and possibly obsess over; on the other you're surrounded with people who possess the same qualities, who sometimes happen to be attractive, but for some obscure reasons don't arouse you anymore because you have guilt tripped yourself into thinking it's gross... but why is it gross when they're the carbon copy of your partner? It remains a mystery.
Until you're in a relationship it's fine, but once you exit it? Here's when it becomes almost "tragic" for both genders - as I said before even more for types who are idealistic by nature. Obviously one's normally takes their time to recover, some need more some need less ( I don't believe there's a strict rule to follow here), but there will come a time when they want to re-enter one with the only / yet significant difference that physically attractive people don't turn them on because they are seen with "the eyes of a friend".
Therefore men become observers, they start playing films in their head and projecting. Since they have started looking at women (they once craved) asexually, they don't have stimuli, drive nor courage to pursue the person they like because they lack "the animal" that turns women on. They become scared and afraid of approaching new people, which is something that takes about 3 seconds for women to notice. The latter start alienating them due to them being insecure and not assertive, thus such men - just to be part of something - lower their standards and end up entering, out of desperation, relationships with other women to only later realize they don't really like them.
Women start living in denial, which is comprehensible considering that the attractive men they will meet, with whom in the past they would have slept with, are now perceived as friends in their mind. They're single, but again it's gross to be turned on by friends...thus they end up rejecting the very same men they actually like. Then they become moody, unbearable and, worst of all, bitter and hardly satisfiable: no one is ever enough, unicorns become their only option.
More projections on both sides.
I'd proceed with caution but don't shut yourself off until you know more.
Thank you. I do notice that he initiated less contact now. Maybe someone else caught his attention or maybe he's talking to this other girl again 😢
Are you a Pisces?
I sure am, although I hide my sensitive fishy side behind my Lioness front haha
Thanks for sharing your opinion on this.
So... how can I tell if I am friend-zoned?
We made plans to hang out tomorrow, but he initiates contact much less frequently now.
The only text I got from him today was "good morning. I am excited to see you tomorrow."
I think in the beginning it's prob 20-30 text a day 😢
I don't see that as a negative a) he text you in the morning, meaning you were on his mind b) he says he's excited to see you. The cut down on texts could be he's had a reality check and wants to slow things down a bit. Especially after what happened with the last girl he might be putting the breaks on a bit not to scare you off
Posted by PalerioThis is interesting. In my circle, it is not taboo if you are attrated to your friends. They just don't "act on it" when their friends are not single, out of respect for their current relationship.... But if the attraction is not mutual, then the person who has feelings may just choose not say anything so that things won't become awkward between them...
Honestly? I do; and I would go even further by adding that non accepting a similar mindset, in case is strongly felt, might cause idealistic types to become, with time, even more idealistic.
I'll just provide with an example. Let's imagine both you and a very good friend of yours are in happy relationships and you find each other's partner attractive. So far so good, if it wasn't that you're not only finding them attractive but you crave them sexually as well, because well...they're hot. In the meantime, chances are, that being him one of your best friends, you have seen her partner quite often and have become friend with her as well. Therefore, it is very likely that in the process of getting to know her you have also developed a strong sexual pull towards her. Supposedly you two have great chemistry and she's someone you would date if both weren't taken.
Now, what I believe it needs to be debunked is the myth that "we're not supposed to crave friends sexually": it is an assumption that whichever way one spins it, it just doesn't make any sense if analysed. To me, to think in these terms simply goes against nature. Why so? Because good genes are good genes, and people look / are what they look / are no matter what. For instance, how odd would it be for someone to be friend let's say with a model - or more in general with an extremely attractive person - and not crave her/him even in the slightest form? I'd say very.
Actually it's not even that; what I find even more bothersome is when taken people, who would normally be / are sexually drawn to someone else naturally, start convincing themselves they are not because again... they're taken. They start attaching the label "friend" to anyone as a shield, like if lovers aren't, at the end of the day, friends as well...like if the people we surround ourselves with - the so called friends - don't almost all, and latently, possess qualities that are similar to those of our partners, if not the very same; simply because those are the sort of people we like.
A dichotomy has been created: the people we once found attractive - resembling in many ways our actual partner, even in their though process - have now become asexual entities because a split has occurred in one's head. On the one hand you've got your lover whom you crave badly and possibly obsess over; on the other you're surrounded with people who possess the same qualities, who sometimes happen to be attractive, but for some obscure reasons don't arouse you anymore because you have guilt tripped yourself into thinking it's gross... but why is it gross when they're the carbon copy of your partner? It remains a mystery.
Until you're in a relationship it's fine, but once you exit it? Here's when it becomes almost "tragic" for both genders - as I said before even more for types who are idealistic by nature. Obviously one's normally takes their time to recover, some need more some need less ( I don't believe there's a strict rule to follow here), but there will come a time when they want to re-enter one with the only / yet significant difference that physically attractive people don't turn them on because they are seen with "the eyes of a friend".
Therefore men become observers, they start playing films in their head and projecting. Since they have started looking at women (they once craved) asexually, they don't have stimuli, drive nor courage to pursue the person they like because they lack "the animal" that turns women on. They become scared and afraid of approaching new people, which is something that takes about 3 seconds for women to notice. The latter start alienating them due to them being insecure and not assertive, thus such men - just to be part of something - lower their standards and end up entering, out of desperation, relationships with other women to only later realize they don't really like them.
Women start living in denial, which is comprehensible considering that the attractive men they will meet, with whom in the past they would have slept with, are now perceived as friends in their mind. They're single, but again it's gross to be turned on by friends...thus they end up rejecting the very same men they actually like. Then they become moody, unbearable and, worst of all, bitter and hardly satisfiable: no one is ever enough, unicorns become their only option.
More projections on both sides.
Posted by WonderWoman14I'd proceed with caution but don't shut yourself off until you know more.
Thank you. I do notice that he initiated less contact now. Maybe someone else caught his attention or maybe he's talking to this other girl again 😢
Are you a Pisces?
I sure am, although I hide my sensitive fishy side behind my Lioness front haha
I see 🙂
Posted by WonderWoman14Thanks for sharing your opinion on this.
So... how can I tell if I am friend-zoned?
We made plans to hang out tomorrow, but he initiates contact much less frequently now.
The only text I got from him today was "good morning. I am excited to see you tomorrow."
I think in the beginning it's prob 20-30 text a day 😢
I don't see that as a negative a) he text you in the morning, meaning you were on his mind b) he says he's excited to see you. The cut down on texts could be he's had a reality check and wants to slow things down a bit. Especially after what happened with the last girl he might be putting the breaks on a bit not to scare you off
I guess you are right, haha. He actually texted me later that day and told me he had a weird day.
If I were feeling weird, I prob would be in my own world as well.
I don't see that as a negative a) he text you in the morning, meaning you were on his mind b) he says he's excited to see you. The cut down on texts could be he's had a reality check and wants to slow things down a bit. Especially after what happened with the last girl he might be putting the breaks on a bit not to scare you off
I guess you are right, haha. He actually texted me later that day and told me he had a weird day.
If I were feeling weird, I prob would be in my own world as well.
Yes I can have a tendency to shut off without realising, so wrapped up in my own thoughts and emotions, in my own little world.
You'll have to let us know how the date went.
Posted by WonderWoman14I don't see that as a negative a) he text you in the morning, meaning you were on his mind b) he says he's excited to see you. The cut down on texts could be he's had a reality check and wants to slow things down a bit. Especially after what happened with the last girl he might be putting the breaks on a bit not to scare you off
I guess you are right, haha. He actually texted me later that day and told me he had a weird day.
If I were feeling weird, I prob would be in my own world as well.
Yes I can have a tendency to shut off without realising, so wrapped up in my own thoughts and emotions, in my own little world.
You'll have to let us know how the date went.
We went to a sports bar with his friends.
It's fun, but I noticed that he seemed not to be budgeting his money well.
He decided to skip lunch so that he'd have money to buy a couple of beers during the game...
also, I caught him going through my phone when I got back from the bathroom
Posted by whatisthisallaboutGoing through your phone?! How rude is that
also, I caught him going through my phone when I got back from the bathroom
Posted by WonderWoman14I know! I think it is a huge red flag. I saw him quickly put my phone back down on the table and pretended nothing happened... In fact, orginally I thought he was on *his* phone when I was walking back to the table from the bathroom. But when he noticed me approaching, he quickly put it down, which got my attention. When I looked at phone, I realized that God damn it! it is MY phone! I didn't want to make a scene so I didn't confront him, but I def took a mental note on that one.Posted by whatisthisallaboutGoing through your phone?! How rude is that
also, I caught him going through my phone when I got back from the bathroomclick to expand
I know! I think it is a huge red flag. I saw him quickly put my phone back down on the table and pretended nothing happened... In fact, orginally I thought he was on *his* phone when I was walking back to the table from the bathroom. But when he noticed me approaching, he quickly put it down, which got my attention. When I looked at phone, I realized that God damn it! it is MY phone! I didn't want to make a scene so I didn't confront him, but I def took a mental note on that one.
That's bang out of order. I'd have said singing in a jokey way to see what his response would be like "we're you just checking up on my phone?" I couldn't have not said anything. He was obviously looking for something? He's got something going on in his mind.
So here is the end of the story. I truly appreciate everyone on here who has helped me out. Obviously he went through my phone cuz he suspected that I was seeing someone else. Of course, I liked him enough to even start this whole thread for him. I wish this could be a happy story... but thank you all again. XXOO
Posted by WonderWoman14I know! I think it is a huge red flag. I saw him quickly put my phone back down on the table and pretended nothing happened... In fact, orginally I thought he was on *his* phone when I was walking back to the table from the bathroom. But when he noticed me approaching, he quickly put it down, which got my attention. When I looked at phone, I realized that God damn it! it is MY phone! I didn't want to make a scene so I didn't confront him, but I def took a mental note on that one.
That's bang out of order. I'd have said singing in a jokey way to see what his response would be like "we're you just checking up on my phone?" I couldn't have not said anything. He was obviously looking for something? He's got something going on in his mind.
You were so right about him... thank you again for all your help.
I guess I could've confronted him directly but since he obviously was suspecting things and seemed sad that it didn't work out. I guess there's no need to go there...
breaking up with someone is just not easy... he thought he was not affectionate enough but it's not just that...
Posted by whatisthisallaboutAhh thank you 😄 I just have a quite few men friends so that has a big hand in how I view certain stuff.Posted by EvatheDivaI really like your attitudes towards men. That's awesome.Posted by whatisthisallaboutGood morning,Posted by EvatheDivaThanks for the affirmation, Eva!Posted by RoanaRoana is spot on! 😎 That's why we Pisceans (women) do NOT sleep with our "friends"; even exes. I am NOT friendly w/any of my exes since I don't want them in my life. 🤗 cyber hugs!
Well I can't speak for all Pisces, but I know that for some (me included) and some male friends who are Pisces it's pretty simple. If I am not in a relashionship and we are just on we are getting to know each other phase than I will talk with other people too. Now if the person that I am talking to is somewhat special even if I am not in relashionship with him) than I won't stop talking to other people, but my tone with them will change - no flirting, just friendly banter. If I am in relashionship than I will let them know that and will show that I am for sure not available.
Granted there is a chance that he does like you and you are special to him, but he had those people in his life before he met you, so he will remain friendly (not in a sexual way) with them, and therefore you will see him getting messages and so on 🙂 But if Pisces genuinly are interested in you trust me you will be their priority, and they will value you over those other people.
But know that never ask Pisces to cut ties with anyone, we usually bring people into our lives for many reasons, so sometimes by asking us to cut ties with people is like telling a doctor to drop a patient (as bad as that sounds we usually have a lot of people in our lives that we are healing even if we are not realising it).
I know from my own experience and from my male friends that when they become interested in someone they no longer feel attraction to other people. So alot of times when pisces say we are just friends it really does mean we are just friends 🙂
So don't overwork yourself and see if he prioritises you over other people. if he does than you can be calm about it 🙂 He likes you and others are just on friendly terms.
Love,
Eva
What would you do if you met someone new but an old flame came back and wanted to work things out?
Simple. See the same post I left you. I've NEVER had a guy come back asking for a second chance. Right away when I have a relationship with someone we "talk". This is one of the topics I discuss w/them and in the end, they know not to bother me. What else is a woman to do after she blocks him on FB and cell? True story: I went to POF last year and my ex-Saggy bf was there. He sent me a message and I BLOCKED him on POF after I deleted the message. His loss; another guy's gain. In other words too, "I've already had him and I want someone 'new' in my life".
Cyber hugs! 🤗
Love,
Eva
click to expand
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