Pisces rarely initiates but always replies
This topic was created in the Pisces forum by lotus on Tuesday, April 23, 2013 and has 21 replies.
Is it normal for a Pisces sun/Pisces moon man to rarely initiate get togethers and conversations? He usually replies to all of my texts (sometimes immediately, sometimes in a few hours) but rarely does the initiating. However, if I suggest something like getting together, he usually agrees and we get together.
Shall I start initiating less? It's been three days now and I haven't heard from him. Is he perhaps not interested?
Shall I start initiating less? It's been three days now and I haven't heard from him. Is he perhaps not interested?
Posted by IntriguedScorp
Just a question: shouldn't you already know the answer to that? I mean you have been with the guy for awhile now. Just asking?
If I knew the answer, do you think I'd ask it here?
Posted by ReyAzteca
whats his ascendant?
I don't know!
Posted by lotusPosted by ReyAzteca
whats his ascendant?
I don't know, but if I had to guess, probably Taurus or Libra.click to expand
Posted by PiscesPosterBoy
Speaking for myself of course,
I never initiate anything. Ever. lol seriously I can't even recall a single time when I made plans with someone instead of the other way around.
I'd take it as a very good sign that he :
A.) Responds at all.
B.) Responds quickly most of the time (the couple hours thing could just be him taking a break from reality and charging his batteries)
and
C.) Agrees to get together with you when you ask. If I'm not interested/losing interest I'll make up lies as to why I can't go out so I don't hurt feelings.
That's what my intuition is telling me too. He always wants to do what I want.
By the way, are you a double Pisces?
BTW, he has an Aries Mars, which should make him more proactive in relationship matters. But Sun and Moon in Pisces......
Yes, Pisces men tend to be shy at initiating. But once they feel the comfort zone, you can't stop them from shutting up!
Posted by PiscesPosterBoyPosted by lotus
BTW, he has an Aries Mars, which should make him more proactive in relationship matters. But Sun and Moon in Pisces......
Unless you mean "Proactive in getting into your pants" I don't think Aries Mars has much effect with general relationship matters. Mars in Libra would be another story.
What's the rest of his chart look like out of curiousity? Specifically Merc/Venus and any aspects therein?click to expand
Merc and Venus in Aquarius.
Posted by TaureanAries
If he's not responding right away or not initiating anything then he's not crossed over to being really into you yet.
My advice would be to not initiate or text and wait for him to miss you.
If you don't hear from him there's your answer.
How long should I wait? It's been three days already.
If I don't initiate that means I'm not interested enough. If I really want to talk to you, I'll definitely initiate conversations. Organizing hang outs and stuff...I'd have to be more comfortable with you to do that.
But, besides not being interested enough, if I think you're busy I won't contact you, either.
Once again, I'm a pisces sun/moon, too.
But, besides not being interested enough, if I think you're busy I won't contact you, either.
Once again, I'm a pisces sun/moon, too.
Posted by juke
my passivity makes me feel like the dog on the porch who waits for his master
Mars in Taurus?
Posted by ianthepisces
so you contact him to talk or set things up...
he is used to you doing that...
now all the sudden you want it differently?
good luck..
I agree with Ian.
By the way, all my personal planets are in the same signs as your BF's.... always happy to hear what my "naughty astro-twin" has been up to!
I don't initiate contact when I don't have to. Most of my relationships have been with more outgoing air signs. My Aquarius texts me as the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night and contacts me many times in between. A bit too much for my taste, but I choose to ignore him sometimes, instead of telling him off.
For me, this is how he likes it. He is more talkative, so he does something that comes natural to him. He also has more spare time and interests, so he plans our next date, tells me the news, finds an entertaining subject, takes care about our social life. I enjoy the attention and the fact I get everything without effort. Never been so lazy as when I was married to a Libra, though
!However, if my Aqua stops contacting me, it will make me thing that he is losing interest and I need to make a substantial effort to re-capture it. I will then spend a lot of time and energy thinking about what went wrong and what is the best approach. This will make me feel irritated and less productive at work...but not necessarily contacting the Aqua!
If you want to break the habit, talk to him. He would probably be relieved to hear this is just about him initiating some contact, which is far easier than having to rescue a falling relationship!
Thanks, Undine. This was well-explained. I wonder, however, if many days pass and you don't hear from or see the guy, will you try to find out what is up by calling/texting?
Him being the guy, it should be natural that he should seek me out more often. It's one of the reasons I keep second-guessing myself. Is he doing this because he is not that into me, or because this is what he is really like?
Him being the guy, it should be natural that he should seek me out more often. It's one of the reasons I keep second-guessing myself. Is he doing this because he is not that into me, or because this is what he is really like?
Someone I liked very much disappeared on me out of the blue. When he didn't respond to my last two emails, I understood he opted out and respected his decision. No calling/texting thereafter. I'm still fantasizing about him every day.
It could be a female think, you may be right. A man is expected to lead, and a woman to follow? Sounds very old fashioned, though. Besides, we don't always do what is expected of us. I did chase men and enjoyed it. I also enjoy a good challenge and putting effort into something I'm passionate about. I like to learn to things and improve my skills.
Let your BF put some more effort into it. Give him some tasks to do. Challenge him.
It could be a female think, you may be right. A man is expected to lead, and a woman to follow? Sounds very old fashioned, though. Besides, we don't always do what is expected of us. I did chase men and enjoyed it. I also enjoy a good challenge and putting effort into something I'm passionate about. I like to learn to things and improve my skills.
Let your BF put some more effort into it. Give him some tasks to do. Challenge him.
haha no juke - it was purely an uneducated guess by me lol
However, you just made me envy Mars in Sag. hahah - not sure that's what you were going for.
Also I didn't know you were a fellow Leo ascendant!
However, you just made me envy Mars in Sag. hahah - not sure that's what you were going for.
Also I didn't know you were a fellow Leo ascendant!
OK, so after three days he wrote me an e-mails to see what was going on. What I dislike, however, is that he makes his inquiries and the desire to see me indirectly.....he just answered an older e-mail and said "see you soon". Does he just expect me to initiate everything?
If you always have initiated everything - as someone earlier pointed out - then yes... he will continue to think that this is the way things are, and that there is no problem with it. Why are you presuming that things are all of a sudden going to change in this regard? Have you mentioned that you would like him to initiate things more?
I doubt it will make much difference. But if you tell him, that's the best chance he has at knowing how you feel.
I doubt it will make much difference. But if you tell him, that's the best chance he has at knowing how you feel.
@juke - the picture is kickass - and I kind of wish I had a water parent, but my mom's scorp moon suffices I think. You and your dad sound like yin and yang. It's true, the fiery people and their passion can make all the difference when applied to other people. I think it becomes more messy when it is internalized. I'm full of leo and aries energy (which is why I'm envious of that sag mars of yours! I could use a balancer of the upper echelon of fire)
*passes hot sauce*
- and I kind of wish I had a water parent, but my mom's scorp moon suffices I think. You and your dad sound like yin and yang. It's true, the fiery people and their passion can make all the difference when applied to other people. I think it becomes more messy when it is internalized. I'm full of leo and aries energy (which is why I'm envious of that sag mars of yours! I could use a balancer of the upper echelon of fire)*passes hot sauce*
Posted by lotus
OK, so after three days he wrote me an e-mails to see what was going on. What I dislike, however, is that he makes his inquiries and the desire to see me indirectly.....he just answered an older e-mail and said "see you soon". Does he just expect me to initiate everything?
Well...you were not very direct either. He probably got the message, though. His response was his way of saying he does not take your indirect attempt very seriously.
Use your elegant and clear style to express your expectations. Talk about positive things: how much would you like to receive a spontaneous message/call from him several times a week. Say that you will deliberately hold back a bit to allow him to express himself. For example, if you didn't contact him till 6 pm, this should be a signal that you are waiting for his call.
Posted by ianthepiscesPosted by lotus
OK, so after three days he wrote me an e-mails to see what was going on. What I dislike, however, is that he makes his inquiries and the desire to see me indirectly.....he just answered an older e-mail and said "see you soon". Does he just expect me to initiate everything?
now you are nitpicking that he responded to an older email instead of creating a new one?
did you ever think maybe that was just what he did because it was easier than creating a new one?click to expand
But why be indirect about it all? Why can't he just say "I haven't heard from you in a while; let's meet up".
Wow! I am seeing a Pisces with all of the same planet placements...
Sun Moon in Pisces, Mars in Aries, Venus in Aquarius... His chinese sign is Monkey -- which also influences a lot.
I met him 2 years ago. He was very reticent at first.. sometimes he didnt answer his emails-texts at all! But I kept following my intuition and now, 2 years later, he replies to all of my texts and returns my calls - i think he simply 'decided' that I am the one - he probably overanalyzed. I take his answering extremely postively... It means a good deal it's very good.
I think you should ask yourself and ask him if he is bored in life or consider what he does for a living, then you will understand why he would or wouldnt answer you back, potentially..
In my case, i once texted him being very careful saying ''if you do not want me to bother you, ill stop texting so much'' and he replied (which showed he is very conscious of his own psyche and reality that he doesn't reply when he is not interested) ''I have been fantasizing about you for days now. so.. no I dont mind and i will be replying''
I think you can check the why to his silence.
My two cents. By the way - I suffered a lot in the past 2 years from his silence,so much that now that we are closer, I am drained and cannot imagine being with him. So you have a pretty good signal early on in your relation. LOL
Melanie
Sun Moon in Pisces, Mars in Aries, Venus in Aquarius... His chinese sign is Monkey -- which also influences a lot.
I met him 2 years ago. He was very reticent at first.. sometimes he didnt answer his emails-texts at all! But I kept following my intuition and now, 2 years later, he replies to all of my texts and returns my calls - i think he simply 'decided' that I am the one - he probably overanalyzed. I take his answering extremely postively... It means a good deal it's very good.
I think you should ask yourself and ask him if he is bored in life or consider what he does for a living, then you will understand why he would or wouldnt answer you back, potentially..
In my case, i once texted him being very careful saying ''if you do not want me to bother you, ill stop texting so much'' and he replied (which showed he is very conscious of his own psyche and reality that he doesn't reply when he is not interested) ''I have been fantasizing about you for days now. so.. no I dont mind and i will be replying''
I think you can check the why to his silence.
My two cents. By the way - I suffered a lot in the past 2 years from his silence,so much that now that we are closer, I am drained and cannot imagine being with him. So you have a pretty good signal early on in your relation. LOL
Melanie
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