FWB wanting to date my friend while keeping me

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by AnnaPhototaker on Tuesday, May 14, 2013 and has 30 replies.
This is a weird thing I'm living and I think I'm too deep into it to fully understand what's right or wrong, and I'd love to hear your opinions about it.
We've been in a friendlationship for a while now and he made it very clear that he doesn't want to lose me. Yet, don't want to be exclusive.
As I'm not looking for an open relationship, I told him I would take steps back from us in order for him to live the life and adventures he wants.
He went postal and we've been fighting constantly since. Mostly about him not understanding what I want even though I made it clear, him getting mad when I get sad and hurt when he talks about the girls he's talking to, me repeating over and over that I don't want to be 1 in a dozen. Him not respecting what I want, me ignoring him, him telling me that I should just accept what he wants..... We fight a lot. We both say we're both sick of fighting, yet, when we decide to talk about it, I tell him my unchanged position, and he get mad and say things like: "You can't force me to just be with you!" to what I reply: "I'm not forcing you. I'm always giving you a choice. You're free to do what you want" because I never forced him. Always gave him a choice, yet he sees it as an ultimatum when it's not. He wants everything without losing me. Which is impossible.
Last week he lost his job, and I helped him get a new one at a friend's work Friday. Gave my friend my guy's email and they talked back and forth about the job. Then, my friend started hitting on my guy and they talked about dating. My friend knew about me and my guy and didn't care. And my guy knows it's hurting me but want me and my friend.
Today, he told me how much he care about me and don't wanna lose me and wished he could do something to save what we have.
When I told him about how it would destroy me if I went out with my friend and I saw them together, he said he was sorry and asked me what to do.
I told him that if he dated her, he would lose me for good. All the other girls he's talking to, that I know of, is starting to be an accumulation of me being unable to deal with it, and that my friend would be the final nail in the coffin. He got postal again and said things like: "It's really fucked up that you would do that. End us because of her?"
Again, not understanding.
What do you think about this situation?
I'm a Cap, he's a Gem if it helps you see things with a different angle.
details
You say FWB but in fact you want Exclusivity...
You're not happy with FWB and he won't give you Exclusivity so the only thing you can do is move on...or continue to allow him his cake and eat it and watch him feast on the smorgasbord of woman he has at his beck and call.
Your choice, either hurt for a short time and get over him or continue to hurt and watch him do what he wants to do. You will never be his girl.
What nationality is he btw?
details

YOu want one thing he wants the other...it pretty simple.
He has no respect for you or ya feelings. And dont buy the crap that he doesnt understand...he knows exactly how you feel and still chooses to do otherwise, which he has the right to do, but you dont have to go along for the ride. The fact that he would even entertain your friend is BS.
details
Posted by sweethearts
You say FWB but in fact you want Exclusivity...
You're not happy with FWB and he won't give you Exclusivity so the only thing you can do is move on...or continue to allow him his cake and eat it and watch him feast on the smorgasbord of woman he has at his beck and call.
Your choice, either hurt for a short time and get over him or continue to hurt and watch him do what he wants to do. You will never be his girl.
What nationality is he btw?


American from California.
details
So it's not about something that he was bought up to believe is acceptable behaviour...he really is just de-valuing you as a person!!
details
Posted by bkbella86

YOu want one thing he wants the other...it pretty simple.
He has no respect for you or ya feelings. And dont buy the crap that he doesnt understand...he knows exactly how you feel and still chooses to do otherwise, which he has the right to do, but you dont have to go along for the ride. The fact that he would even entertain your friend is BS.


^^^^This.
details
Isn't this the 57854th post about this Gem?
What the hell kind of answers do you really want after proving every time that you have zero self respect for yourself?
You don't care about yourself and you want people to help you when you clearly cannot or do not want to help yourself. Go get therapy. Your self esteem is in ridiculous shambles.
details
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Isn't this the 57854th post about this Gem?
What the hell kind of answers do you really want after proving every time that you have zero self respect for yourself?
You don't care about yourself and you want people to help you when you clearly cannot or do not want to help yourself. Go get therapy. Your self esteem is in ridiculous shambles.


No it's actually a new Gemini man that I met after I ended things with the other Gem.
details
Yes, but I've also seen posts about the new guy.
How about you just go be single for awhile. You need to get your shit together.
details
He wants his cake and to eat it too. It shouldn't be a struggle...not like this. Respect yourself and respect your love. You CAN find someone else, someone better for you, someone that WON'T conflict you and love you the way you deserve. But first, know what you want and hold your ground. No is an answer.
details
Posted by Kleo
He wants his cake and to eat it too. It shouldn't be a struggle...not like this. Respect yourself and respect your love. You CAN find someone else, someone better for you, someone that WON'T conflict you and love you the way you deserve. But first, know what you want and hold your ground. No is an answer.


Right??
details
Posted by tiziani
Anybody that uses the term "friendlationship" is clearly not into sending a straight signal. You're meant to be the Cap, right? Start acting clearly and people won't walk all over your feelings. Not only does he show little regard for what you have to say, but your friend doesn't care either. That should tell you something about the common denominator here.


this!!
now i see why you said mixed signals
details
Posted by AnnaPhototaker
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Isn't this the 57854th post about this Gem?
What the hell kind of answers do you really want after proving every time that you have zero self respect for yourself?
You don't care about yourself and you want people to help you when you clearly cannot or do not want to help yourself. Go get therapy. Your self esteem is in ridiculous shambles.


No it's actually a new Gemini man that I met after I ended things with the other Gem.
click to expand



bottom line if his love was so strong and the connection is so out of this world then it would just be you...not you, boo and who....and thats his issue, it is no reflection on you as a person.
details
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Isn't this the 57854th post about this Gem?
What the hell kind of answers do you really want after proving every time that you have zero self respect for yourself?
You don't care about yourself and you want people to help you when you clearly cannot or do not want to help yourself. Go get therapy. Your self esteem is in ridiculous shambles.


+ infinity. Where do you meet these gems that walk all over you almost from the get go. He's probably going to find away to do it behind your back as he believes that you are being "unreasonable". Once you see that it doesn't affect your "friendlationship" because he will still be "there for you", you'll probably agree as long as he comes back and "treats you like his number one girl". Sorry this is just absurd.
details
Posted by gemeliorist
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Isn't this the 57854th post about this Gem?
What the hell kind of answers do you really want after proving every time that you have zero self respect for yourself?
You don't care about yourself and you want people to help you when you clearly cannot or do not want to help yourself. Go get therapy. Your self esteem is in ridiculous shambles.


+ infinity. Where do you meet these gems that walk all over you almost from the get go. He's probably going to find away to do it behind your back as he believes that you are being "unreasonable". Once you see that it doesn't affect your "friendlationship" because he will still be "there for you", you'll probably agree as long as he comes back and "treats you like his number one girl". Sorry this is just absurd.
click to expand



i have seen a few gems do shit like this....3 of my friends are tied up with gems and for years and all of them have several gf including my friends...i dont understand it...they get exactly what they want it seems..i myself almost got caught up with one...dodged like 10 bullets with that one
details
Aww@my indecisive Cappy. (((hugs)))
This guy seems selfish, so lets push the thought of him to the side for a minute, and lets talk about you. Friendlashionship? What is that? Me thinks your inability to know in your heart whose heart you want is putting you in situations where almost anything goes. Id say give it a permanent rest with him, and figure out who you are and what you want. Its what my Cap friend told me to do last week. I see how our kind can send mixed signals. Its you as much as its him.
details
Overall, it seems as if you're just taking whatever scraps you can get and are "okay" with that. He wants his cake and to eat it too, and so do you. You want to be that "cool" chick where you're happy with it being casual but at the same time want him to treat you like it's a relationship.
Him- getting ass from multiple sources and doesn't owe anyone answers. He's being a selfish ass and you're letting him because you seem so desperate for any male attention/affection that you'll settle for this crap.
I mean really, let's give everyone some perspective here-
http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/gemini/New-Gem-need-some-insights-3929486.asp#3929487
Slap a "Welcome" stamp on your forehead because you're a doormat.
details
Posted by bkbella86
Posted by gemeliorist
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Isn't this the 57854th post about this Gem?
What the hell kind of answers do you really want after proving every time that you have zero self respect for yourself?
You don't care about yourself and you want people to help you when you clearly cannot or do not want to help yourself. Go get therapy. Your self esteem is in ridiculous shambles.


+ infinity. Where do you meet these gems that walk all over you almost from the get go. He's probably going to find away to do it behind your back as he believes that you are being "unreasonable". Once you see that it doesn't affect your "friendlationship" because he will still be "there for you", you'll probably agree as long as he comes back and "treats you like his number one girl". Sorry this is just absurd.


i have seen a few gems do shit like this....3 of my friends are tied up with gems and for years and all of them have several gf including my friends...i dont understand it...they get exactly what they want it seems..i myself almost got caught up with one...dodged like 10 bullets with that one
click to expand


I think they talk a good game, but guys in general seem programed to desire more than one woman at a time. Since gems are the eternal children of the zodiac I guess some don't grow out of this type of behaviour especially if they continue to be rewarded with such conduct. They need to be cut loose as that's just plain abusive and glad you dodged those bullets theresmile
details
Posted by gemeliorist
Posted by bkbella86
Posted by gemeliorist
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Isn't this the 57854th post about this Gem?
What the hell kind of answers do you really want after proving every time that you have zero self respect for yourself?
You don't care about yourself and you want people to help you when you clearly cannot or do not want to help yourself. Go get therapy. Your self esteem is in ridiculous shambles.


+ infinity. Where do you meet these gems that walk all over you almost from the get go. He's probably going to find away to do it behind your back as he believes that you are being "unreasonable". Once you see that it doesn't affect your "friendlationship" because he will still be "there for you", you'll probably agree as long as he comes back and "treats you like his number one girl". Sorry this is just absurd.


i have seen a few gems do shit like this....3 of my friends are tied up with gems and for years and all of them have several gf including my friends...i dont understand it...they get exactly what they want it seems..i myself almost got caught up with one...dodged like 10 bullets with that one


I think they talk a good game, but guys in general seem programed to desire more than one woman at a time. Since gems are the eternal children of the zodiac I guess some don't grow out of this type of behaviour especially if they continue to be rewarded with such conduct. They need to be cut loose as that's just plain abusive and glad you dodged those bullets theresmile
click to expand


Maybe it's an Air sign thing of sorts. I've seen it with Libras as well. The one I was dating recently started showing signs of wanting his cake and to eat it, too. As soon as I called him out on it, he became flakier and has distanced himself a bit. I think he thought he could get away with having casual with me while ego stroking himself with other girls. Overall, I think insecure guys pull this shit. They need many to bolster their shitty self esteem. ...To which they can just be dropped. It's a potential relationship, not therapy.
details
I'm unclear why you've made this thread.
You talk out of both sides of your mouth, and then expect other people to be sympathetic to you?
He's made it perfectly clear that you're one of his pieces of ass, and you seem to value that position so highly that you're willing to fight for it.
sobeit ... if you wish to be his whore, then why are you in here trying to act like you have class?

Your life is your choice, and he is merely treating you the way you have decided he is allowed to .... so what the fuck are you doing in here bitching about not liking your own goddam choice, as if it's not your fault?

::: shakes head :::

Fucking people and their stupid shit
details
Stay the hell away from Gemini people. Bad news for Capricorn people.
Find a nice Virgo, Scorpio or Taurus man.
details
Thanks everyone.
I understand the harsh comments and I need them. The "What the fuck are you doing. You know what's going on!"
As a matter of fact, I don't.
He's manipulative and once I got stuck into his games, it got hard to leave. Always making me doubt my own thoughts.
Always making me think that they were wrong.
I'm not stupid, he's just good at twisting my own ideas into non sense. Like he told me that I didn't respect him if I didn't let him fuck other girls, or that it was my fault he was unhappy.
Kinda like an abusive relationship I guess Sad
details
Posted by AnnaPhototaker
Thanks everyone.
I understand the harsh comments and I need them. The "What the fuck are you doing. You know what's going on!"
As a matter of fact, I don't.
He's manipulative and once I got stuck into his games, it got hard to leave. Always making me doubt my own thoughts.
Always making me think that they were wrong.
I'm not stupid, he's just good at twisting my own ideas into non sense. Like he told me that I didn't respect him if I didn't let him fuck other girls, or that it was my fault he was unhappy.
Kinda like an abusive relationship I guess Sad


Sorry hun. It can be hard, I know...Trust me. But you need to do what's GOOD FOR YOU. Don't degrade your values to fit the mold of others. It's a journey, but you can do it. Realization is the initial step. There are MANY people out there that would be happy to create a healthy, loving relationship with you. No need to waste your time or energy with jerks or losers. Take responsibility for yourself, your actions and what you create. His 'unhappiness' is his own doing. He sounds like a real asshole.
details
His degree of happiness is not your responsibility! Yours is.
details
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by gemeliorist
Posted by bkbella86
Posted by gemeliorist
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Isn't this the 57854th post about this Gem?
What the hell kind of answers do you really want after proving every time that you have zero self respect for yourself?
You don't care about yourself and you want people to help you when you clearly cannot or do not want to help yourself. Go get therapy. Your self esteem is in ridiculous shambles.


+ infinity. Where do you meet these gems that walk all over you almost from the get go. He's probably going to find away to do it behind your back as he believes that you are being "unreasonable". Once you see that it doesn't affect your "friendlationship" because he will still be "there for you", you'll probably agree as long as he comes back and "treats you like his number one girl". Sorry this is just absurd.


i have seen a few gems do shit like this....3 of my friends are tied up with gems and for years and all of them have several gf including my friends...i dont understand it...they get exactly what they want it seems..i myself almost got caught up with one...dodged like 10 bullets with that one


I think they talk a good game, but guys in general seem programed to desire more than one woman at a time. Since gems are the eternal children of the zodiac I guess some don't grow out of this type of behaviour especially if they continue to be rewarded with such conduct. They need to be cut loose as that's just plain abusive and glad you dodged those bullets theresmile


Maybe it's an Air sign thing of sorts. I've seen it with Libras as well. The one I was dating recently started showing signs of wanting his cake and to eat it, too. As soon as I called him out on it, he became flakier and has distanced himself a bit. I think he thought he could get away with having casual with me while ego stroking himself with other girls. Overall, I think insecure guys pull this shit. They need many to bolster their shitty self esteem. ...To which they can just be dropped. It's a potential relationship, not therapy.
click to expand
details
i got cut off
yea libras are famous for this....my taurus friend is dating one and she is still with him...and now after four years of her putting up with his cheating ways he says he want to be a polygomist....and she agreeed until he blatantly ignored her for her bday....come to think of I think she is with him now after she swore it was over just a day ago...I just cant
details
Posted by CluelessCancer
Why the fuck is a Cap dating a Gem for? I wouldn't ever date, shoot, even get close to a GEM...
hilariously i was talking to my Gem Cuzzo the other day and he tells me this chick he's been dating is moving in. I am shocked! I mean the guy is just not to be taken seriously like that, but i guess, it's becoming serious...
so there goes my A $ $ umptions about flighty weird talkative flaky Gems.



lmao...ikr!!
details
Holy shit, what did you expect he already told you that he doesn`t want just you, Move on, cry a bit, but get the fuck over it...He will never change, and the more you stick around the worse you are going to feel...
details
gem and cap just seems off to begin with
details
Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by AnnaPhototaker
Thanks everyone.
I understand the harsh comments and I need them. The "What the fuck are you doing. You know what's going on!"
As a matter of fact, I don't.
He's manipulative and once I got stuck into his games, it got hard to leave. Always making me doubt my own thoughts.
Always making me think that they were wrong.
I'm not stupid, he's just good at twisting my own ideas into non sense. Like he told me that I didn't respect him if I didn't let him fuck other girls, or that it was my fault he was unhappy.
Kinda like an abusive relationship I guess Sad


You need to take inventory of yourself. You sound like a bird. Time to get some self help books or therapy. Why do you hate yourself so much?
click to expand


lol evryone doesnt know what a bird is cc.
details

Leave Your Feedback

We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.

Home Astrology Comments Forums Search

©1997-2025 dxpnet.com. All Rights Reserved.
Advertising Contact Terms of Use Privacy Policy